#*eris

one must consider an eris whose entire life is meticulously, exactingly organized and controlled—except for his personal chambers, his study, his desk, where something is always left untidy. pens askew. garments over chaises. books scattered. because it’s easy for a conniving mind to search a perfect room and return everything exactly as it should be; it’s far more difficult for even the slyest, most exceptional spy to return clutter to its precise spot. which sleeve hung over this cushion, and which grazed the floor? which paper had been layered over which, or had none been layered at all? did this book lay open, or was it that one? eris for whom even clutter is a means of control and deception and cunning.

currently thinking about 💭eris vanserra who does not drink, not really. eris vanserra who will have a glass of wine, maybe two, but anything beyond that is just water he has glamoured to keep up appearances. eris vanserra who does not like to be out of control of his faculties, even for a second, because when he is, those he cares about get hurt. eris vanserra who had been too-young and drunk on stolen kitchen spirits the first time he didn’t notice his father’s mounting irritation with his mother and watched her nose get bloodied over dinner. eris vanserra who had been drunk the night he refused to kill jesminda for his father; and perhaps if he had been smarter, if he had played the game better, he could have glamoured another poor soul in her stead and ferreted her away, he could have been there to do more for lucien than simply alert tamlin, he could have kept the three brothers he lost that day, two to death, one to hatred. eris vanserra who does not drink, but when he does, the harsh lines of him relax, and he smiles more, and his eyes twinkle, and color rises to his cheeks, and he looks so much like lucien that his mother cannot stand to look at him. eris vanserra who does not drink, not really.💭

do you think lucien begged for eris when jesminda was taken in? (first it was just pleading — she didn’t do anything wrong. it was me. i wouldn’t leave her alone. punish me. please, father, my lord, punish me. but then, when the screaming started, it was — where is eris? where is eris? please, eris, please, you said you would protect me. you said you said you said.) do you think beron told lucien that eris was invited to join in but decided it wasn’t worth his time to deal with the low-born faerie filth his brother defiled himself with? do you think beron told lucien that eris knew what was happening and simply didn’t care enough to stop it, that eris was upstairs, drunk and entertaining courtiers? do you think lucien was so fragile in that moment that he believed it without question? do you think lucien heard eris screaming as he was being punished for refusing to participate, but lucien didn’t recognize them because jesminda’s had finally stopped, and there was nothing left for him in the world, let alone a brother who was not there when he begged?