The room is silent for a moment as you begin to gather yourself. Within a few seconds, the bangs of a gun and clatter of bullets falling to the floor echo throughout the room. More to the left. Lower. There. You fall into a rhythm; inhale, shoot, exhale, repeat. Since there’s no clock in the training room, you’ve lost track of time. Was it day time? Was it nighttime? You’ll never know as you’ve been standing in the same position, repeating the same thing, trying to get it into perfection for countless hours. As you finish the magazine and begin to unload it, a heavy weight falls onto your chest, reminding you why you have spent so much time in these four concrete walls.

Placing the gun down, you reach for another magazine when a soft, red glow encases your hand, effectively stopping it from moving. Wait, when did she get here? For the first time since entering the room, you feel the aches in your legs and your arms as they slightly tremble due to exhaustion. A pair of soft hands grasp your headphones and slowly take them off, pulling your head back to lean against whoever is behind you. Sighing, you close your eyes and let yourself melt into their embrace, feeling their arms wrap around your waist. You feel a warm puff of air against your ear before they begin to speak.

“What are you still doing here, moya lyubov?”

You mumble, “Working on my aim.”

“How long have you been here for?”

The room falls quiet as you begin to think about it, unsure of how to answer or if you even know the answer.

She sighs, “Baby, it’s 4am and if I recall, you left the bedroom this morning at around 10am.”

Shit, you really did lose track of time.

Continuing, Wanda asks, “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why have you spent this much time shooting at targets? Your aim is practically perfect.”

“There’s always room for improvement, Wans.”

“But-”

“My aim can’t be practically perfect, it has to be perfect. If I’m going to be an Avenger, I have to have perfect aim.”

You move your head away from her chest, staring at the targets in front of you, all of which are riddled with bullet holes. Frustrated, you begin to rub your face with your hands, scrunching up your nose while you do it. It’s almost as if you’re trying to rub away the feeling of failure and disappointment. Wanda softly turns you in her arms so that she can take a look at you. She reaches for your hands covering your face and pulls them away, her eyes softening as she takes in the exhaustion evident on your face. As she takes your hands, your eyes fall to the ground, unable to look at Wanda.

In a soft and whisper-like voice, “Detka, look at me, please.”

Giving in to her plea, you look up and meet her ocean eyes. Her eyebrows furrow as she drops your hands to cup your face. Your gaze falls to her shoulders where a patch of gauze is peeking out from under her shirt. Tears begin to gather in your eyes as you tuck your chin to your chest, avoiding eye contact. The pads of Wanda’s thumbs gently brush away the tears as she pulls you into her chest and kisses your temple. The sounds of a gun firing are replaced with painful sobs, each one creating a small crack in Wanda’s heart. She never wanted to see you in pain and just listening to how hurt you are, pained her as well. 

The two of you stay in that position until your sobs begin to quiet down and you find yourself gripping Wanda’s shirt as if you were scared she was going to leave you. Once again, the room falls silent with a few hiccups and sniffles here and there. Breaking the silence, Wanda asks, “Was this about the mission?”

Unable to give her a verbal response, you nod against her chest. She lets out a soft hum of concern and tells you, “It’s not your fault, please don’t beat yourself up about it.”

In a quiet and broken voice, you respond, “Wans, it is my fault though. You shouldn’t have gotten hurt on that mission.”

“Love, we all make mistakes and that’s okay.”

Gripping her shirt even tighter, you say in a louder voice, “But this wasn’t okay! I hurt you, Wanda! I. Hurt. You.” With the last three words, tears begin to fall again and you can’t help but let out a small sob.

Wanda pulls away from you and hooks her finger under your chin, pulling it up until you make eye contact with her. Your tears drip onto her finger as her eyes are filled with worry and concern.

“I’m okay, Y/N. I’m alive.”

“But, you’re still hurt because of me. If I didn’t miss that shot, you wouldn’t have a bandage on your shoulder and I would’ve kept my promise.”

“It was just a graze and you did keep your promise though. You protected me from that Hydra agent. If you didn’t shoot then that Hydra agent would’ve gotten me and things would’ve been much more serious.”

“I just- I-”

At a loss for words, you lean your forehead on Wanda’s uninjured shoulder and sigh. She slowly runs her hands up and down your back, providing you with much needed comfort. Taking in a few deep breaths, you ask, “What if- what if I’m not good enough for you? What I did feels unforgivable considering you’re my girlfriend and I promised to never hurt you.”

“Oh, moya lyubov, you will always be good enough for me, no matter what. Accidents happen and I know that you would never intentionally hurt me, so don’t worry about your promise, you never broke it. I still love you through and through, Y/N.”

A weight is lifted off of your chest upon hearing Wanda’s words. Your tense shoulders sag down in exhaustion as you begin to lean more heavily on her. She lets out a small chuckle, “Someone’s tired, huh?” You lightly smile and nod against her shoulder. Wrapping an arm around your waist, she begins to lead you out of the room. Maybe you’ll never reach perfection, but as long as you’re good enough in Wanda’s eyes, that’s all that matters.

As the night slowly creeps by, you don’t take note of the time until you’re on your fourth cup of coffee and glance at the clock resting on your desk. Squinting at the numbers, hoping that it’ll help you focus on it, you barely make out the time. 3:42 AM. You release a heavy sigh and lean on your desk, elbows digging into the hard table as your hands support your head. Everything feels fuzzy and disoriented, making it difficult to concentrate and continue working. How did you get here?

Working a desk job at SHIELD meant you had to do a lot of paperwork. Sometimes the paperwork would pile up on your desk, making it crucial for you to keep your area organized and tidy. With the number of files sitting in your office, you were bound to make a mistake at some point. That point was now. Seated at your desk, you spend your time thumbing through the files, trying to find information for the next mission. A knock at the door nearly breaks your concentration as you say, “Door’s open, come in!” without sparing a glance at whoever is entering. Shutting the door behind them, they walk up to your desk and clear their throat, catching your attention. You look up to meet Alex’s eyes, butterflies erupting in your stomach. Offering her a smile, you greet her.

“Hey, Wanda!”

“Hi, Y/N” she says with a warm smile, “Do you have the mission file ready?”

You pause, eyes widening in slight panic. 

“Um, not yet, I almost have it ready.”

“Okay, no worries. I’ll come back in 10 minutes.”

“Wait, actually, you can just wait here. I’m sure I can find it in a few.”

Nodding her head, Wanda sits on the edge of your desk, watching as you frantically search for the files. After a few minutes of light conversation, you manage to find the file and hand it to her.

“Here you go!”

“Thank you, Y/N. Good luck with the rest of your paperwork.”

“Thanks Wan. Good luck with your mission.”

Wanda smiles and waves goodbye as she closes the door behind her, leaving you with the stacks of paperwork you still have to get through and organize. Hours later, you’re finally down to the last few stray files when an agent bursts through the door.

“Y/N! WHAT IS THIS?”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“This file you gave to Wanda was outdated.” he says angrily, “By a year.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure! I have eyes and can read things properly, you should give it a try next time.”

“Well, I’m so-”

“Sorry isn’t going to cut it, Y/N. You nearly cost us our lives because of this old information. You should be grateful that Fury is letting this slide because we managed to pull through the mission without any casualties.”

With no time to respond and apologize, the agent turns on his heels and leaves your office, slamming the door on the way out. Burying your head in your hands, you ask yourself, “Did I really mess it up that badly?” Not wanting that to happen again, you decide to refile all of the paperwork and carefully read through each and every single one of them, feeling the guilt of making a mistake slowly eat at you.

The incident happened 3 days ago and yet here you are, still filing the paperwork. Every bone in your body is screaming for you to rest but you refuse to, not until you’ve made sure you’re not going to repeat your mistakes. You’ve barely slept, waking up every hour or so because your dreams were filled with angry voices shouting at you, calling you a failure and telling you that you’re not good enough. Tears begin to form, blurring your vision until they drip down onto the papers in front of you. What if you really weren’t cut out for this? How could you have messed up something so important?

Your sobs filled the room, masking the sound of your door opening. You continue crying into your hands, not registering the fact that someone’s in your office. A warm sensation spreads along your back, resting on your shoulder as you feel yourself being pulled into someone. Realizing that it’s someone else, you wrap your arms around their waist and you sob into their shirt as a familiar voice begins to speak, “It’s okay, Y/N. Just let it out. You’re okay.”

Wanda continues to tell you soft reassurances as she comforts you while your tears are starting to dry. Once the tears have fully stopped and your breathing is more regulated, you let yourself completely relax in her arms. Slightly muffled, you tell Wanda in a broken voice, “I’m so exhausted, Wanda.” She lets out a sympathetic hum at your confession and hugs you even tight, gently caressing your hair, continuing to soothe you. 

“I know you are. It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

As much as she wants to ask you about what brought you to this breaking point, her main concern is you and making sure that you get the rest your body desperately needs. After a few more minutes of silence, you feel drained and more exhausted than ever. You slump into Wanda’s arms as she steadies her hold on you. Gently picking you up, she presses a kiss to your forehead.

“Just rest, okay? Let me take care of you.”

The past few weeks have been a blur for you; one moment you were happy and enjoying yourself, the next moment everything had gone downhill leading to where you are now -- curled up and lying in bed, staring at the wall. Honestly, you aren’t sure what had led to this but after one thing led to another, you quickly became overwhelmed and exhausted with trying to keep up. As you stare at the wall, the room is dark and silent, leaving you with your thoughts. Failure. Disappointment. Not enough. Sighing, you close your eyes and feel tears pricking at the edges of your eyes but not falling down. You’ve cried so much in the past few weeks that you’re tired of doing it and now resort to staring into a blank space.

A knock disrupts the silence as it’s followed by, “Y/N?” Still lost in your thoughts, you continue to look forward and pay no attention to whoever is calling your name. The room briefly fills with light as your door creaks open and you hear light footsteps approaching you. The bed dips next to you as a soft hand gently begins to smooth over your hair. In a soft voice, afraid to disturb you, Natasha asks, “Hey, is everything alright?” Those are words that you’ve been hearing repeatedly for the past weeks but something about the person who’s asking it stirs up emotion. 

A sob leaves your mouth as you begin to tear up and eventually cry. A soft, “Oh” is heard as the redhead lays down next to you, pulling you towards her chest. Tucking your head into the crook of your neck, you continue to cry until the room is silent once more with slight hiccups every so often. Natasha begins to cradle your head as her other hand slowly rubs your back in a soothing manner.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Pausing, you think it over, unsure of what to do. You don’t want to burden her with your feelings but you are really struggling here and need her support. Lightly gripping her shirt, you give a small nod.

“Okay,” Natasha kisses the top of your head, “go whenever you’re ready.”

Avoiding eye contact with her, you begin to let out all of the thoughts and emotions you’ve held on to for the past few weeks, only pausing to take breaths and ground yourself before you start crying again. She never interrupted you while you talked as she was slowly taking in everything you were saying. By the end of your rant, a few tears make their way onto your girlfriend’s shirt as she holds you impossibly closer to her and begins to comfort you. 

“It’s okay, Y/N. Just let it out.”

After a couple minutes, you manage to center yourself once more as Natasha is the first to break the silence.

“You know it’s not healthy to bottle up these emotions, moya lyubov.”

Nodding in acknowledgement against her chest, she continues.

“I’m so sorry that you had to deal with that alone. I wish you could tell me these things so I can help you before it becomes too much.”

In a soft voice, you say, “I’m sorry, Nat.”

“No, no, no, no. Don’t apologize, it’s okay. Just remember that in the future, okay? We’re in it together and as your girlfriend, I promise to always take care of you.”

Taking in her words, you think about the previous weeks as a thought crosses your mind.

“Am I-,” sighing, you blink away the tears forming in your eyes again and continue in a broken voice, “am I enough?”

Natasha tightens her hold on you as she kisses your head once more and mumbles into your hair, “Of course you are. What makes you think you don’t?”

“I-I’m not sure but it just feels like no one wants a failure or disappointment for a girlfriend.”

You close your eyes as the room falls quiet, Natasha unable to form a response. Beginning to regret what you said, you try to move away but she holds you close to her and exhales. She gently grasps your chin and turns your head so that you’re facing her. Unwilling to meet her eyes, you glance away as she quietly says, “Hey, please look at me.” Through blurry eyes, you meet her emerald ones and soak in the words she tells you.

“You’re not a failure nor a disappointment and you never will be.”

“But I-”

“Hush, no buts. You will always be enough no matter what happens. You deserve so much love in this world and I’m going to do everything I can to give that to you. You just need to let me in a little more so I can support you more, alright?” 

“Okay...I can try.”

“Thank you, that’s all I ask for.”

You slowly move upwards to kiss her as she leans down, her lips meeting yours. Pulling slightly back, you whisper against her lips, “Thank you, Natasha.” The corners of her lips quirks upwards into a smile as she replies, “Of course, I’m always going to be here to take care of you.” She may not have been able to take away all of your pain and insecurities in that moment however you knew that she was going to be there to comfort you and protect you from your inner demons. You don’t have to struggle alone anymore and that’s all you can ask for. Getting back into a good place mentally was going to take awhile, but with Natasha by your side, you knew she would do everything she could to help and would remind you that you are loved and worthy of loving every day.