#*banana

when we first met, he knew what kind of person I was. but he wasn’t scared by me or even wary of me. he spoke to me in this awful english. I thought he was weird. I figured it was because he was a foreigner, but I realised after time that I was wrong. 

when he’s near me his kindness and honesty, his warmth– it flows right through me. it made me complete.

but I, my body– it reacts like a machine and kills people like nothing. without thinking, without feeling. I’d never been so scared of myself or so ashamed.