Some headcanon prompts for Qyrhu (and whoever else inspires you) !
15 (hands); 17 (scars); 22 (family); 35 (guilt); 41 (memory)
Nettles, you know whatâs up. I looked at pictures and drawings of hands instead of writing this. Head empty, only hamds. I needed to just describe everyoneâs hands.
Qyrhu: protruding veins on the back of his hands, callouses of a saber user, but otherwise soft, he moisturizes them well. Short, picked off nails. Unadorned (with jewellery or polish). Habitual gloves wearer. hand touching without gloves might as well be third base.
Faro: broad and elegant fingers, even and neat fingernails (though never painted or adorned except if needed for another identity), itâs a shame she wears gloves all the time, but they look good on her, too. Presumed to be a long-time effect of the serum reversal her hands now often have a slight tremor to them. She can still aim blasters without significant issues, but she used to pride herself on her calm hands, and now it looks like sheâs less⊠put together, and this bothers her, even though she doesnât let on.
Tevuuk: scarred knuckles from too much punching, callouses from overheated blasters and machine handling (I swear they wear gloves, too!). Often bandaged. Their nails might be painted when theyâre feeling funky. The fingers of their right hand are all cybernetic. They started off with crude ones but were recently able to get much better ones that allows them a lot more functionality. The allure of killer claws was great, but they ultimately went for finesse.
âšand three surprise gals:âš
Cirâve (Inquisitor): small and thin. Cold all the time. Nails trimmed very short. Unadorned. Dry skin because she uses a lot of disinfectant.
Cyss (Consular): long hands and fingers, nubbly joints, nails manicured in a subtle style. Tends to wear a few thin, elegant rings.
Hyo-Ran (Knight): strong hands, never truly still, saber callouses, depending on the current lifestyle a bit weathered. Nails are a catastrophe. (âGirl, your nails-!â â âLet it go, Cyss.â)
Itâs inevitable to have scars with his occupation. There are some scars from shrapnel wounds and burns, received during combat when he was too close to an explosion (which happens too often). The Quesh mine collapse didnât go over without marks, a leg had to be amputated and since then he has one cybernetic leg, plus acidic burns on face and other parts of his body due to being exposed to some of the more dangerous vapors for too long without protection (helmet was cracked, armor also not entirely helpful anymore). He didnât look well when they got him out of there, and needed months of recovery before he could jump into the fray again (the Hand provided the cover and medical treatment, which just makes everything more complicated in the âbeing grateful despite his reservationsâ department).
He usually doesnât perceive his scars negatively, they are a sign of the vaunted struggle of the Sith code, badges of survival. Still, some scars are difficult to keep apart from the trauma that caused them. When he looks at them too long, they can drag his spirit down.
Coming with kotfe angst once again, but Chief of all of this is the lightsaber wound he received during the Battle of Asylum, the one that should have killed him. It is the poignant reminder that Vitiate gives and withholds. He punished Qyrhu by distracting him with his time-stop thing, so he had been too slow to react to Arcannâs next move, and then kept him alive, reduced the fatality of that injury somehow, this whole ordeal (it hurt immeasurably, his body thought it was dying) just a punishment for disobedience, showing him how much power he has over him. That gnarly scar on his midsection and middle back never entirely loses its dysphoric effect.
Talked about here though I can add something:
Qyrhu doesnât think of people he feels close to as his family necessarily. Family means something else, means things like blood relation and exacting expectations and hiding failures. No, he doesnât need family as he understands it. He loves his friends and life partners because they are apart from that. Some friends might use that term for their relationship, and he doesnât mind that at all, itâs just not important. Theyâre his friends, and that is the most precious thing in the galaxy.
And here is nettlesandbugs with the steel chair!
Guilt is an interesting one because there are things Qyrhu doesnât feel guilty about where maybe he should, because itâs so normal in his society, he doesnât question it at first, the blind spots of his socialisation. Then there are things he refuses to feel guilty about because whatâs the point if heâs going to do them anyway, thatâs just a waste of energy and feels, to him, disrespectful to the injured party. If you going to do it, you better commit to it, being contrite about it just feels so false when you do it anyway. And there is a ton of things that he does against his actual feelings and morals, because he wants to advance, to look to his own interests, to survive, and he doesnât manage to quiet the simmering pot of bile inside him all the time.
Fishing out one specific thing from that pot:
His relationship with Jaesa is undercut with a load of unspoken guilt. It might have begun as his masterâs orders, but he saw the opportunity to poach a force user with a unique ability, and more importantly one that his master was afraid of, so he wanted her on his side instead of killed, and he hounded her and pressured and manipulated her until he got what he wanted. So maybe Nomen Karr wasnât a good mentor to have anyway, so maybe this would have had to happen even if he didnât want it to, but those are only belatedly added justifications, those are not the reasons why he did what he did, and now that sheâs here, he canât quite smother the guilt entirely. Doesnât she resent him? Wonât she turn on him and exact her revenge? Or⊠did she go into this so she could instead try to turn him herself? Still a foolish, foolish Jedi after all. They go through a plethora of things together so they inevitably forge a strong bond (a regular bond, not a Force bondTM) but there is always this tension on the part of Qyrhu he never really gets out of, and they will deal with it only after they find each other again in the Alliance, because I think only then will Jaesa be open to look back and name things. (I cannot do this conversation justice yet but I dream of it)
Raincheck on Memory, I'm not there with it yet. I need to get those other answers out otherwise I keep picking at them.