#* wmina .

❛ I understand. ❜ // @wmina​

                       “ forgive me , i fear i might have not spoken clearly , ” 

                          jonathan harker was quick to raise his hand , as if this gesture alone would stop mina murray on her tracks . he hoped it would , for he dared not reach out and touch her , least she think  (  nay , realize !  )  that jonathan was desperate to feel her skin upon his . it was foreign to him , to struggle with this sort of infatuation . mr . harker had always been so skilled at keeping his composure but , when it came to ms . murray , everything he knew to be true became horribly frail . he was willing to second guess himself when near her    ───   ready to surrender whatever mina wished to have . A TERRIBLE THOUGHT HE DARED NOT SPEAK ALOUD ! not because he feared his dear friend’s rejection , but because jonathan could not stand the thought of mina and he growing apart due to his feelings for her . love was a blade dangling over his head ... if he were to speak its’ name , then it would surely fall . 

                        but this battle within himself had now transpired onto sweet mina . she thought he had left yesterday’s gathering in an attempt to avoid her . jonathan could see the hurt in her eyes . his heart had nearly leapt out of his chest and onto her palms then , ready to confess that the only reason he had gone there was , in fact , TO SEE HER . but she appeared with her arm wrapped around another’s man’s arm and her smile was wider and warmer than ever and mr . harker , being the infinite fool he was , went home without ever speaking a word to her . 

                thin fingers continued to run through his hair , over and over again , stubbornly attempting to tame the thick black waves that continued to fall upon jonathan’s eyes . mina murray was MERCILESS . the furrow of her brow showed just how focused she was in getting this task done . but as she attempted to make him look presentable  ( a deed , harker had insisted , that was impossible to accomplish ) , all jonathan could do was watch her . he took notice of the way her small nose wrinkled whenever one hair rebelled against her hands . memorized the various shades of brown in her stare , feeling his own features soften when finding that , that day , mina’s eyes had gained a color similar to that of honey in the sunlight . her face was crumpled up into a frown .    ───     and jonathan harker was smitten .

                                     there is a moment of hesitation when jonathan is first faced with her confession ; a kiss oughtn’t be taboo among lovers  (  among husband and wife !  )  . all those months imprisoned within the BEAST’S LAIR should have made a broken man out of him . but the mere thought of mina ; the mere echoes of her own strength and poise , they spoke so loudly within him that jonathan harker couldn’t fall into despair SIMPLY BECAUSE MINA WOULDN’T . and how he had longed to be with her like this , holding hands in the comfort of each others’ company , feeling her flesh upon his own , finally feeling like a whole person once more . but mina was not herself . the curve of her lips , as familiar as it was , bit back a tragedy  ───  the misery jonathan had lived through during his travels had SPILLED OVER AND ONTO HER . beautiful mina , with her warm hands and far warmer eyes , was now cursed . and though there was nothing jonathan ached for more than to have her closer still , HE KNEW HE SHOULD NOT .

                                         it wasn’t out of fear of the consequences that could come from ignoring professor van helsing’s warnings . the reason for his distance was far worse . despite all the love he had for mina , despite all the will within him to hold her against him and dive into the scent of her skin , he saw the same glint in her stare that he had met back in the count’s home . the newfound moistness in her gaze , similar to that of a wild animal , reminded him of THE BRIDES . and his chest would ache at the memories and his hair would turn whiter still . those horrible women had forced him to bare witness to such HORROR . he loved mina more than anything in his life ... BUT HE FEARED WHAT SHE WAS BECOMING .