tomorrow is the day i plan on consuming huge dosages of melatonin gummies with the hopes that it'll put me to rest . ( or it might be a little longer than that . . . i wanted to do one last thing before doing this )
why gummies ? i do not like pills , nor did i find liquid variants ( also most liquid medication is nasty to me ) . . . plus , gummies taste good && i can eat however many i want / they are easier for me to consume .
will i regret this ? maybe . . . who knows , i might get scared enough before the side effects kick in && want to go to the hospital immediately .
is the intended outcome going to be the opposite ? most likely , but i just want to hope that it'll render me unconscious .
I've never really written anything like this , uhm . . . so im kinda just rambling here . . .
@lovesickseinen i love you , you're such a sweet person && i appreciate all that you do for me , i love seeing you on my dash && you absolutely spoil me with your art . . you && brawly are so cute . .
@x0zmos i love you , man , i dont even remember how we first met , but honestly . . you were such a vibe && it was so nice to see another suda fan just like me that was openly profic . . you're such a great friend to me , you stuck by me when things got shitty ( i can say this for all of my mutuals tbh ) . you also , are one that fuckin spoils me with your art , i enjoy every single piece you make . never stop creating , okay ? you're gonna be big one day ( && you'll get that follow from GHM , trust ) mondo loves you
@zeroxynn we haven't talked a whole lot , but you've been a joy to be around && your art is adorable ( travis is so cute in your style , i have all your art of him saved in my travis folder <333 )
@xo-gravekandy man , you're so fuckin' cool dude . . i know you've been busy n whatnot , i wish we got to talk more . . . hey , keep up the good fight ( && FUCK CHOCO )
@barayume && @v0mitgh0st roman && ghostie , aw . . . man , when i first got into JJBA , i wanted to find ppl to yap with , boy was i lucky to stumble across you two . . you both have been nothing but kind && loving towards me ( also travis && i's biggest fans , alongside xoz && indigo ) i wish we coulda hung out more , i had fun streaming nmh to you guys ( you too indigo ! )
@cowb0yluvrr bubs ! aaaa , we hadnt talked a whole lot , but you're a joy to see on my dash , your posts are so cute && i hope you're living your best fucking life with spike <333
i have so many more ppl i wanna tag , but im getting sleepy . . chronic illness aint no joke . .
is this goodbye ? idunno . . i cant really say .
but please dont forget me , dont forget what happened , dont forget what they did . . raise hell for me , be their daily reminder of the things they've done . this is all their fault .
don't forget me && travis . don't forget that i'm his one && only , no one can take him from me . . . any one of those weirdos who try to come around here n think they love my husband more than me ? well , tell em he's spoken for .
part of me hopes i fail again && i can hang out with you guys . . mm , even if im not here , or recovering in the hospital or whatever . . send me stuff , spam my dms or whatever with anything , use me at a journal or whatever idc . . it can be art , your thoughts , what you did today , etc .