you are a kind person who has been hurt one too many. you glare at them from across the room. you leave cryptic messages to them. you walk past them with your head held high. you're hurting on the inside, but all of this is to make them regret. this silent rage is to make them regret hurting you.
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ascetic, shuns the material world, external ideals, public opinion, and the need to find validation in their social rank/status, physical beauty. they are thus internally narcissistic, only caring about what they think is valuable. they tend to want to live apart from society, outside of it, in the metaphorical or actual wilderness.
offbeat <- conventional: 63%
offbeat, seeks to live on the vanguard of existence, to step into the unknown. what is the point of living a life that has already been lived before is the ethos of the offbeat individual, to sacrifice who you were, are, to become something new, different.
thinking -> haphazard: 30%
haphazard, shuns or finds it difficult to be structured and orderly, to make and follow long term plans. consequently, they tend to live a more unplanned, meandering life, relying more on chance. this makes them less stiff, less rigid than thinkers can be (at their worst).
interpersonal <- withholding: 100%
interpersonal, are more about others than themselves and would rather hurt them-self than hurt another person. they don't help others to get something back, they help others because they are more wired to the needs of others than their own needs. they feel the hunger, pain, happiness in someone else more than in themself.
vital <- depressed: 86%
vital, content, positive, high energy, life enjoying, optimistic, strong will to live, self motivated. vitals believe happiness is something you have control over.
easygoing <- rigid: 76%
easygoing, compelled to relax, take it easy, does not get worked up about most things. Prefers peacefulness and leisure, does not like conflict.
sectarian -> globalistic: 0%
globalistic, cosmopolitan, tolerant of diversity, believes the welfare of everyone is important (not just one's group), more likely to be politically liberal
extroversion results were very high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.
orderliness 38%
orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, random, scattered, and fun seeking at the expense of structure, reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
emotional stability 62%
emotional stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
accommodation 90%
accommodation results were very high which suggests you are overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense too often of your own individual development (martyr complex).
inquisitiveness 32%
inquisitiveness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly small minded, traditional, and conventional at the expense of intellectual curiosity, possibility, and progress.
a drabble in two parts: upright & reversed.
word count: 697
PART I. upright, signifying an acceptance of sacrifice and to take a breath and wait.
you are up at an ungodly hour, though you have come to realize both gods and hours have little hold in this dark land. watches are shared duties between the lot of you, and even within the tower, you keep quiet vigil over those you come to regard as dear friends. you think narius would like them. you think he would be proud of what you have chosen to do here, for these people, for this land.
you think back to this land. the physical land. struggling trees and plants, crops under nourished by the land that holds them. it pains you, because it would pain your Mother. but more than the land itself are those that inhabit it. the sadness, the grief, the suffering and oppession and loss that permeate ever corner of this land. the fear and hopelessness that grips those living in this land tightly within it’s clutches.
you know that you will not leave this land. you cannot. you will not abandon these people, even if it means your own life. still, your hand throbs, though the wound as a reminder of your promise has long-since scarred over.
you look over the sleeping faces of those you care for. four bodies bundled in blankets and cots, restful as one can be. you lean your head back, staring at the ceiling. for not the first time, you feel that you and your companions are woefully unprepared for this. you fear for them. for what may become of them.
you wish for nothing more than to hear reassurance that they will make it out alive. You look at the shield against the wall, the wreath and crook etched so tenderly into it. A reminder of what you do, what path you chose for yourself. You steel yourself. You will protect them. All of them. this land, these people here, and, a glance over each of those resting peacefully, you add to yourself: your family.
PART II. reversed, signifying resistance or indecision or being unsure of one’s path.
you feel a tightness in your chest as the woman speaks over the meal. She mentions it so casually and easily. As if she had not just laid the literal fate of a demiplane on your shoulders with such certainty you want to be sick. It was one thing to set your own choices in such a determined direction, but the sudden realization that people saw you as some sort of prophesied force in this nearly makes you choke on your food.
jaw clenches a bit, and you take a small sip of water to soothe the nerves. you change the subject a bit, try to redirect. the topic comes back up and you excuse yourself. outside, the ground is cold and familiar as you sit, hands touching the earth, needing a connection to something so solid of a reminder of home as your Mother.
you take a few breaths to steady yourself. she must be confused. or attempting some form of sabotage on behalf of strahd. you want nothing more than to put those reasonings to her statement, to calm your mind with the platitudes of false intent. yet, even after you speak with vane, the words of lady wachter hang like lead in your stomach.
how could you be foretold. you are hardly strong enough to do much of anything – you barely feel strong enough to protect those closest to you, no matter how much you desperately want to. That night does not ease those feelings, only growing stronger as you gaze across the valley that once was.
my lord. feels like an acid burn and you recoil from it and from the man offering you a chance. It feels too careful to be a coincidence, and you rebuff him. the words he says don’t leave you, however. you shove the idea of such prophecy away. you do not want to be a savior, you only want to help.
still, you awaken with a new determination to fight for the land, and those that live within it.