#* notebook

“miss you,” he eventually says, after you’ve swallowed your last bite of milk and cornflakes.

“miss you too,” you answer softly, placing your finger against the screen like you can reach for him through the glass, “at least it’s easier when we do it like this.”

he laughs humorlessly, hovering his finger against his own phone in the same place as yours. the two of you watch each other breathe.

“i should go get ready,” you mumble.

“yeah,” sungho agrees, “i should i get ready for bed.”

but neither of you move, and sungho sucks in a breath in that way where he has something to say but is wondering whether he should say it.

“sorry about this,” he eventually settles on, “can’t believe i’m eating dinner and you’re eating breakfast.”

you watch him shift slightly - distances compressed into pixels and numbers through a screen.

“not your fault,” you say back, “timezones suck.”

“they do,” he agrees, nodding. he glances at the clock on the wall behind him through the screen.

“go get ready,” he reminds you, “you’ll be late.”

you sigh, drawing away from the phone, “okay, okay. sleep well?”

“always better when i’ve seen your face,” he says, and he can’t stop the smile tugging on his lips, “talk tonight?”

“tonight,” you promise.

#리우 RIWOO

“babe, look!” you pull the phone away from your face as riwoo flips his camera around, the fireworks in view lighting up your dim room in bursts of colour and light.

“woah, pretty,” you breathe out, mesmerised by the rhythmic explosions of fireworks across your screen.

“right?” riwoo’s voice crackles over your speaker, “it’s the special version to celebrate new years! wish you were here to see it…”

your chest aches again - it’s always the same feeling that bubbles up with every wishing you were here you exchange with your boyfriend.

you pull the phone back towards yourself as riwoo flips the camera back around. you can see the fireworks reflected in his eyes as he looks up at the sky. his orange hair is slightly mussed, messy like he rushed out without bothering to fix it, and he’s wearing the hoodie you gifted him when you first started dating - the one whose hoodie has been chewed through by daebak.

“me too,” you admit softly, watching an amber firework fan out behind his head, casting shadows across his face, “but this is nice too. at least i get to see it.”

the phone shuffles on riwoo’s end, and he settles on some kind of bench, the camera jostles slightly in his hold before steadying.

“it's not the same though,” he says, but there’s no bitterness in it, “i want to hold your hand while we watch, and then i can give you my jacket when you feel cold.”

you laugh, a small, breathless sound, “you would be cold then.”

“we can share,” he dismisses, shrugging. you can hear the smile in his voice. the fireworks pause for a brief intermission and the call falls silent - stretched by the distance that’s actually between you two.

“tell me what it feels like,” you say suddenly, “out there.”

riwoo’s eyes drift as he thinks.

“cold,” he finally says, his eyes settling back onto your face glowing on his screen, “smells like grass. very smoky. a lot of people around. they need to start making phones that let you smell things - that way you could smell it yourself.”

you smile at his suggestion - at the way he’s trying to solve the unsolvable.

“well, until they invent that,” you say softly, “i guess i’m stuck with you describing it to me.”

riwoo shakes his head with a chuckle, “guess so.”

another firework blooms behind him, sparkling to life and painting everything gold. he doesn’t peel away from the phone to watch it, instead studying you watching him, and somehow that feels more important than the fireworks show behind him.

“stay on the call?” you ask, even though the sun is barely peaking over the horizon and you haven’t slept a wink.

“yeah,” he agrees immediately, shifting so you see the sky behind him - the best of both worlds, somehow compressed onto one small screen, “i’ll stay.” 

and so you do. you stay in the darkness of your room while he sits on that bench under the fireworks. he keeps talking - about the people around him, what he’s planning to do tomorrow, what he ate - and you listen.

this is enough, you think to yourself, watching the fireworks that blossom in his eyes and listening to his voice over the speaker of your phone.

it’s not the same as holding his hand, but for now, it’s enough.

#명재현 MYUNG JAEHYUN

“did you fall asleep?”

jaehyun’s voice jolts you out of your half-asleep state and you crack open an eye to see jaehyun sprawled across his bed, face cuddled up to the screen so much you can only see his eyes.

“no,” you clear your voice, “did you finish showering?”

“mhm,” jaehyun replies, “did i wake you up?”

you shake your head against your pillow, “i was waiting for you anyways.”

jaehyun’s eyes crinkle at the corners, and you know he’s smiling even if you can’t see the curve of his lips.

“you should sleep,” he murmurs softly - in the same tone he uses when he’s lying next to you in bed - soft and quiet, like he’s personally lulling you to bed. you smile at how he’s the same even though he’s no longer physically here, but oceans apart and existing together in the liminal space of a video call.

“not used to you not being here,” you finally admit, curling your hands into your blankets, “it’s cold.”

the confession slips out of you easily in the dark, and you shift onto your side, mirroring his position as your pillow smushes against your cheek.

there’s a pause on the other end - long enough you move to tap the screen just to make sure the call didn’t freeze. but then you hear him breathe: a soft, deliberate exhale.

“i know,” jaehyun whispers, his voice cracking slightly, like say it physically tears him apart, “i know, my love.”

he shifts backwards, and now you can see a bite more of his face - his damp hair, the way his skin is still flushed from the heat of the shower. he looks so warm, so fluffy, and completely out of reach through a glass screen.

“wish i could be there,” jaehyun continues quietly, his eyes never leaving yours, “wish i could just get in bed with you and keep you warm the way i’m supposed to.”

you giggle softly into your pillowcase, even though it’s tinged in regret and longing. you’ve had this conversation before - a million times - over the phone, in bed, when you’re just lounging on the couch; it never gets easier, the truth of what you’re both missing, what distance has taken from you. 

“you’re keeping me warm right now,” you finally say, “you’re here, aren’t you? even if it’s separated by a screen and oceans.”

“always,” jaehyun says immediately, “i’ll always be here.”

"then that enough for me," you say, "but you have to make it up when you get back."

jaehyun laughs softly, "i'll make it up and then some more."

he pulls his pillow closer, settling deeper into his bed, “go to sleep. i’ll be here when you wake up. same as always.”

he gives you that smile that always makes your stomach flutter and you give a smile back that’s probably overly giddy and dopey. you ask your heart to stop drumming so fast and settle back into your own pillows.

“goodnight,” you whisper.

“goodnight, my love.”

you blow a kiss through the screen and he catches it, placing a hand over the place where his heart is.

#태산 TAESAN

“so, what do you think? is it cute enough for dinner?”

you smooth down the skirt of your dress and try not to look awkward when presenting yourself to your boyfriend through the screen of your phone, stood up against your water bottle on the dresser.

“give me a twirl,” he demands, a hand over his mouth as he leans forward and squints at your outfit.

you do as he says, giggling to yourself as you do a slow twirl.

"sooo?" you tilt your head.

taesan shifts in his seat, adam's apple bobbing as he swallows harshly.

“yeah - um… it looks good. great, even.”

he bites his bottom lip and his voice drops to a lower octave, “wish i wasn’t in some stupid hotel on the literal other side of the planet right now. you look way too cute.”

you laugh again, turning back to the mirror as you tug on the hem again, “you’re just saying that.”

“i’m not,” you can hear the pout in his voice, “stop playing with it.”

you let your hands fall and regard yourself in the mirror - you think you look good - like you always do. you cock your head as you think about how taesan sees you, through his tiny phone screen, miles and miles away.

“you like me too much,” you eventually say, voice light and teasing.

“yeah, i do,” taesan’s voice is rough and unashamed, “come closer - to the camera.”

you hestitate, before taking a slow step towards your phone. his expression on your phone shifts - eyes darker as his jaws tighten.

“you’re doing this on purpose,” he breathes out.

“doing what?” you frown.

he lets out a breath that’s sounds like a laugh.

“cancel dinner.”

your breath stutters, “taesan -”

“i’m serious,” his voice is rough now, quieter, “cancel it and talk to me properly. take the phone back to your bedroom.”

the way he says bedroom makes your stomach dip.

you reach out slowly and pick up your phone, carrying it toward the bedroom as you try not to steal too many glances at him. but you can see him following the movement on his screen, tracking you, and he doesn’t say anything at all - just sits back and watches as you nearly drop your phone in anticipation.

you sit on the edge of the bed, fiddling with your phone until both you and your sheets are in sight.

he breathes quietly, and gives you a dangerous, patient smile.

“good girl,” he says softly, “now - show me what else you’re wearing.”

#이한 LEEHAN

“kim leehan!” you shriek, slapping your palms over your eyes, “i’m not going to watch you shower!”

leehan stops, his shirt halfway off. he drops his shirt as he pads over back to his phone propped up against a wall of the bathroom.

“but you said you’d stay on call with me!” he pouts, his eyes wide as he drinks in your flustered state.

“well, yeah!” you fan yourself with a hand, your eyes still squeezed shut, “but not like this!”

“it’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before,” leehan blinks.

“it’s different!”

“how is it different?”

“because -” you splutter, “because it’s different! you give me a warning!”

leehan tilts his head, like he’s genuinely confused and you’re the one being unreasonable and demanding, “i thought the shower running was the warning.”

“that’s not -” you press your palm harder against your eyes, “that’s not a warning! i didn’t know you were gonna take your shirt off!”

he laughs, in that bright & easy way that makes it very difficult to be mad at him. you hear the soft thud of his shirt hitting the floor through the phone speakers.

“okay, okay,” you can hear the grin in his voice, “i’ll keep the curtain closed, happy?”

“just tell me when you’re done!” you yell, eyes closed.

there’s a brief moment of silence and you hear the swish of his shower curtains opening and drawing shut.

“done,” leehan’s voice is still teasing behind the curtain.

you crack open an eye cautiously and gasp.

“you lied to me!”

leehan is leaning against the bathroom counter, decidedly not behind a shower curtain, arms crossed and looking far too pleased with himself for someone who just ambushed and tricked you within the past five minutes. you can't help but gape at the scene on your screen, his hair tousled and shirt notably not on.

“i know you like what you see,” he teases and you splutter, peeling your eyes away.

“so what if i do? and - and that’s not the point!”

“what’s the point then?”

“the point is -” you search for the right words, “is that we have a system!”

“a system,” leehan muses.

“yes! you warn me and i - i look away… or don’t.”

he hums, tilting his head the other way, “so if i had said something like - hey, i’m about to shower, stay on call with me - you would’ve said that's fine?”

you open your mouth.

you close your mouth.

he raises an eyebrow, smug grin displayed over his face.

“... that’s not the point either,” you mutter defeatedly.

#운학 WOONHAK

“hehe, babe, look - you’re a potato!”

woonhak’s display jostles as he presses on the various filters on the app, cycling through turning you into potatoes, green screened into outer space, and ridiculous filters that make your eyes too big or forehead huge.

you try to muffle the laughter that escapes you, even as your face distorts into something ridiculous on the screen. the camera catches the way your eyes crinkle as you smile that even a filter can't wipe off.

“you are a very cute potato,” you tease woonhak as he bobs his head up and down to play with filter.

“you too,” woonhak replies. his grin grows wider as he clicks to another filter, this one giving both of you alien antennae.

you yawn involuntarily, all too aware of the time difference. woonhak’s afternoon bleeds into your midnight, and you wouldn’t trade it for anything else. the stolen minutes before his schedule picks up or yours does grows sparser by the day, and you cradle your phone like it’s your lifeline. 

“okay, one more before i go to bed,” you say quietly, careful not to tick off your flatmate sleeping next door. 

you see woonhak lean closer to his phone, only the top of his hair visible as you hear him tap the screen of his phone.

he finds one that gives you a flower crown and makes everything pink and sparkly.

“that’s how you look to me!” woonhak exclaims, far too proud of his confession.

“with a flower crown and pink sparkly aura?” you raise an eyebrow.

“yeah!” woonhak laughs, “whenever i look at you - it’s like you have an automatic filter in real life.”

“you’re ridiculous,” you say, but a smile dances on your lips and your chest squeezes - the kind that comes with missing someone in the best way.

“you just reduce me to some kind of idiot,” his expression softens as he looks at you through the screen.

you hold each other’s gaze until a notification pops up reminding you both that the call is still recording and you laugh again.

"i should sleep," you say mournfully.

"yeah," woonhak taps his screen, "it's late - you need to rest."

he watches as you finally place down your phone, next to your pillow as you lie back down.

“goodnight, hakie,” you murmur.

“goodnight, beautiful. dream of me,” he replies.

neither of you move to hang up just yet, content with letting the seconds run out until sleep claims you or his schedule catches up.

inspired by that one picture woonhak posted of him and taesan lmao exposing myself as a hsm fan... somehow wrote this in like an hour WOW i am lonely.

♡ or ↻ if you enjoyed, support your writers, thank you!! what did you think? drop your thoughts in my inbox!

“see, i told you,” your mother sighed at your swollen eyes the next morning, “you let yourself hope and you always get let down.”

you cried for hours after that. this was it - the universe telling you that nobody was stupid or crazy enough to love you, and you’d have to be alone forever. people would whisper about you and pity you and say - that’s a child not even her mother could love. 

the next day, when dongmin’s younger brother excitedly asked you about your soulmate mark, you mustered up a smile and said, oh, it’s something like - shared feelings. like, i can feel whatever they are feeling.

dongmin kicked over a trash can, and was promptly yelled at by his dad.

“guys, i’m freaking out, i found them!” jaehyun bounded over to your table, and the library lady shushed him.

“sorry,” he apologised, continuing in a whisper, “but seriously, look, i think i have a soulmate mark that makes us have the same handwriting.”

he pulls out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket - the sign-up sheet for mr. jiho’s class on music production.

“why do you have that?” dongmin asked with a raised eyebrow - that piece of paper was supposed to stay on the bulletin board.

“i’ll put it back,” jaehyun waved away his comment, pointing at something on the sheet, “look, doesn’t that look exactly like my handwriting?”

you squinted at the name.

“i dunno,” dongmin shrugged, “just looks like handwriting to me.”

“no, look!” jaehyun insisted, snatching dongmin’s pen from his fingers and scribbling down a copy of their name.

“doesn’t it look the exact same?”

he held up the sticky note against the sheet of paper to compare.

“well, it does look pretty similar…” you finally admit.

it was the exact same - down to the way their consonants were both massive and rotund.

“exactly! i knew it! i knew i had a soulmate!” jaehyun bounced on his feet excitedly, earning another loud shush from the librarian.

“oh,” he paused suddenly, stricken, “sorry taesan.”

“it’s whatever,” dongmin shrugged, “maybe one day i’ll find a soulmate waiting for me, too.”

“yeah, i’m sure you will,” jaehyun breathed out, “okay, bye. i gotta go find them.”

you could barely get out a ‘good luck’ before jaehyun bounds out of the library, sign-up sheet clutched in his hands.

“and another bites the dust,” dongmin sighs, turning his attention back to his homework.

“maybe if we both can’t find our soulmates by the time we’re 30, we should just get married to each other.”

you laugh as you pick up your pen again.

dongmin’s heart skips a beat and his cheeks heat up, but when he gathers enough courage to spare a look at you, you’re already far too engrossed in the world of quadratic equations and maths to notice how he looks at you.

“i can feel it again, my soulmate is running laps or some shit again,” sumin gasps dramatically, a hand over her heart as she suddenly falls onto the couch.

jinsoul rolls her eyes, “at least you know your soulmate’s fit.”

“do you think it’ll stop after i meet them?” sumin pouts. you can tell she’s doing her breathing exercises again.

“maybe,” jinsoul shrugs, she didn’t have a soulmate either, “how is your soulmate feeling?”

there’s a pause before you register she’s talking to you - “oh, um, can’t really feel anything, so i guess they’re fine.”

“you’re so lucky you have a normal soulmate,” sumin complains, obviously fine enough to start punching the air in anger.

“hey - i heard youngjae found his soulmate too,” jinsoul picks at a loose thread on your carpet.

“seriously? i thought everyone knew he didn’t have a soulmate mark.”

sumin sat up from her chair.

“nah, apparently he was just straight up lying," jinsoul shrugged, "he had a red string mark, thats why he kept tumbling all over the place, because his soulmate kept tugging on it."

"fuck, that's funny," sumin laughed before erupting into coughs, "what the hell, this guy makes me want to run a lap around the house myself."

you pursed your lips as sumin starts doing jumping jacks in the middle of the room. you and youngjae had a lot in common, but lying about having a soulmate and not actually having one seemed really different.

“you won’t believe this,” jinsoul splayed out her hands, “so you guys heard about the soulmate checker thing, right?”

you nodded, eyes watching out in case sumin misses her bus, again.

“i finally got mine done and,” she looked slightly miffed, “i actually have a soulmate. it’s just super difficult to find them.”

“what!” sumin shrieked, grabbing jinsoul’s arms and shaking her back and forth, “what do you mean?”

jinsoul pushed sumin off of her, “i just didn’t know! apparently i get sick whenever they get sick.”

her nose wrinkled, “which is never, i guess.”

“no way!” sumin exclaims, “are you gonna find them?”

“yeah, that’s so cool. by the way, what’s the address - thing?” you rush out a little too quickly, and both sumin & jinsoul turn to look at you inquisitively.

“i - i mean, you know dongmin, right? he doesn’t have a visible soulmate mark either, so i - you know…”

jinsoul nodded sagely, pulling out her phone.

“sending you the address.”

you stare at the message. you weren’t sure what feeling was gnawing in your stomach. this was it - it was going to tell you whether the world actually had someone planned for you after all, and you weren’t a weirdo for not having a soulmate and you were a creature capable of love and being loved.

“the specialist is ready to see you now,” the receptionist calls out from the front desk, and you nearly fall out of your seat. the test was a blur - some scan of your irises and a sample of blood. the incessant whirring of the machines and sterile white walls creeped you out to no end, but you scurried down down the corridor to the room at the end of the hallway.

“[y/n] [l/n]?” the specialist confirmed your name as she beckoned you into the room. you perch yourself on the cold metal chair she gestured to before staring at a computer screen full of numbers and words you don’t understand.

“so it looks like,” she waves a hand at the monitor vaguely, “you don’t have a soulmate.”

“oh,” that was blunt.

"are you sure?” you ask, just to be sure.

"one hundred percent. no soulmate.”

you feel empty inside, “i see.”

she might as well have handed you a piece of paper with YOU’LL BE FOREVER ALONE printed on it.

“sorry,” the specialist purses her lips, “but it’s not a completely bad thing.”

she rolled up her sleeve and pointed at the 00:00:00 in big, bold numbers on her forearm, “met them, didn’t know it was them, now i’ll never know who it is.”

“a ton of people don’t have soulmates,” she smiled sympathetically at you, "don’t feel too bad.”

you nod numbly, “um, yeah. thank you.”

“so, how did it go?” jinsoul slams her textbooks down on the table, and you jump.

“how did what go?” you splutter, trying to pull yourself together.

jinsoul rolls her eyes at you, “the soulmate thing! you know - if the han dongmin actually doesn’t have a soulmate, i might have to start looking more his way.”

she twirled a piece of hair around her finger and you suddenly look incredibly interested in the numbers on the corners of the textbooks she just slammed down.

“i don’t know,” you shrug, biting your cheek, “i didn’t ask.”

jinsoul sighs, “damn. imagine if han taesan actually had a soulmate all along. that would be my youngjae-geddon.”

“what if i have a what?” a voice cuts through as something heavy landed on your head. you brush off han dongmin’s stupidly heavy bag and stare at him pointedly, and he raised an eyebrow in challenge.

“nothing!” you blurt out before jinsoul can open her mouth and completely blow your cover, standing up abruptly, “honestly, i don’t get why your band club always breaks so late! let’s go - my mom says she has something for your mom, so you have to come with me.”

you grab dongmin’s wrist and drag him behind you, completely ignoring jinsoul’s flabbergasted look. you stormed off and didn’t realise you were nearly halfway home until your arm started to get sore from pulling dongmin, and you fume when you realise he had been digging his heels into the concrete to make life harder for her, because he always has.

“something’s off with you,” he squints at you when you finally let go of his hand with a huff. he sounds amused at your misery.

“don’t you ever wish you had a soulmate?” you suddenly say, whirling around to face him.

dongmin blinks, “you fell out of bed and hit your head this morning or something? where’s this all coming from?”

“you know how i said i had a soulmate? and i could feel their emotions or whatever?” you kicked a rock extra hard on the path, watching it skitter across the pavement. dongmin nods slowly.

“well, i lied! i don’t have a soulmate - like it’s scientifically proven!”

a brief silence washes over you before dongmin breaks it, his voice harsh, “so you were lying to me? to everyone?”

“yeah, i was! because you know what? i just wanted to be normal and not a freak who no one can love!” you yell in frustration, before your words dawned on you.

“wait - that’s not what i -”

dongmin scoffs, “so that’s how you see me? a freak who’s not normal?”

“no! that’s not what i -”

“save it, [y/n],” he takes a step back and you see the hurt that flashes across his eyes, “i’m done.”

he shoves past you and leaves you standing in the middle of the road.

so it is true. you’ve just driven away the person who would love you no matter what - soulmate or no soulmate.

you really are unlovable.

“dongmin,” his mother rounded into view, a guilty look on her face, “[y/n] wants to see you.”

dongmin frowns and physically turns away from the door, “tell her that i don’t want to talk to her.”

her mother casts a sad look behind her, where you were waiting by the doorway and shakes her head.

“i’m coming back tomorrow! you can’t avoid me forever, dongmin!” you yell, loud enough for him to hear you from his room. he makes sure that the door slam in response is loud enough for you to hear too.

“maybe you should give him some time to process,” his mother cupped her cheek in worry.

you felt like crying, “i’m sorry. you’re right. i’m sorry for bothering you guys.”

you turn on your heel and u-turned, kicking open your fence and opening the front door to an empty house.

usually you would be able to see dongmin doing homework, or jamming out with his headphones in, or sometimes he’d even open the window so you could listen to his newest song on his guitar, but these past few days his curtain was shut tightly and you couldn’t get even a glimpse of his shadow.

‘i’m sorry!’ you wanted to yell into his window, ‘i’m sorry, i was insecure and scared. i hated myself and i didn’t want to admit it!’

you didn’t even need him to forgive you, you just wanted to say sorry - because you couldn’t live with yourself. his sad look from your words that day were burned into your eyelids, because every time you shut your eyes you could see him.

“and this is for mrs. han next door,” your mother handed you a basket of fresh muffins and you awkwardly scratched your cheek.

“can’t you just give it to them?”

“dongmin hating you is none of my concern. frankly, i’m surprised he hasn’t requested you move away yet,” your mother said bluntly, and you winced.

“now, go, shoo. the least thing you can do is be a good neighbour,” she waved you away and you resigned yourself to an awkward hello and fastest goodbye you’ve ever thrown down.

you trudge up to their house and knocked timidly on their door.

“hi mrs. han, mom and i made muffins and we made too much so you should have some,” you rush out as soon as the door creaks open, staring at the floor as you hold out the basket to her.

“wrong person,” dongmin lazily replied, and your head shoots up, only to see him leaning against the door frame, the meanest look he’s ever given you etched onto his face.

“oh,” your brain short circuits.

“mom and dad left to go to the store,” he kicked open the door wider, “just leave it on the dining table.”

you sidle inside behind him, flinging the basket down onto the table and turning to book it out of his house.

“aren’t you going to say sorry?”

you whip your head around, only to see dongmin sprawled across his sofa, leaning against the arm rest as he watches you.

“it’s been four days,” he adds, “you can say sorry now.”

you bristled, “i was going to from day one - but you kept ignoring me!”

dongmin frowned and you immediately simpered down, staring at the tiles of the kitchen floor, “but - but i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have said those things. i didn’t mean it. i said all those things because i was just angry at myself and for lying to you and everyone else. i lied because i thought - i thought it was written in the stars that i couldn’t be loved, like i was some cosmic mistake. so i lied to make myself feel better. i was just selfish and didn’t think straight. well - i don’t want to excuse myself. i did something really, really wrong.”

“hm,” dongmin mused.

“i’m sorry - if you want to smite me off this planet i promise i’ll never show up in a 50 meter radius around you ever again.”

“no,” he said simply, “i forgive you.”

“i’m really, really sor - what?” you look up in surprise.

“i said, i forgive you,” he repeated.

“no, you shouldn’t,” you frowned, “i said such horrible things and -”

“don’t tell me what to do.”

dongmin grumbled, and you shut up immediately. he beckons you to come over and you do, shuffling over awkwardly in silence. you stand over him and he lazily stretches like a cat and you watch for his usual telltale signs of anger - silence, avoiding your gaze, a permanent frown. instead, nothing. he just looked straight at you and you felt like he saw right through you - he probably did, he always knew you better than you knew yourself.

he suddenly pulls you by your wrist and you yelp as you tumble down, landing squarely in his embrace.

“dongmin!” you whisper, your brain frenzied. you can’t see his face anymore.

“i thought about it,” he shushes you, “i’ve always liked you, you know? since - i don’t know, since forever. when you said you had a soulmate, i made peace that i might never have you. and i thought i was stupid for that - loving someone that couldn’t love me back. but i couldn’t stop loving you.”

“i get it. you were scared, weren’t you? like - you were drowning and the only thing that could keep you alive was lying about it.”

he sighed, “we’re just two lonely people in the same room, [y/n].”

“i love you all the same, soulmate or no soulmate,” his arms come up to loosely wrap around your waist, “you should’ve told me, i would’ve understood. why didn’t you tell me?”

you pushed yourself off him to sit up, and he just watches you, dark eyes pooled with love and sadness and anger and passion -

“i don’t know,” you start hoarsely, “i knew. i knew you liked me - i liked you too. but - but what if i wasn’t enough? what if it was just the universe playing another cruel trick on me?”

you start crying, hiccuping, “what if you don’t actually love me back? then i really am unlovable. no soulmate thing to save me - just me and my repulsive self.

i was so scared. i didn’t want to get my hopes up, that someone would actually like me for me. because the happier i feel the worse the crash feels.

i hate myself for hurting you, i’m sorry.”

you feel dizzy and you squeeze your eyes shut. you feel his hand come up to wipe at your tears.

“you’re not repulsive, or unlovable, or any of those words running around in that silly head of your’s,” he whispered, “you never were. it’s not a soulmate mark that makes someone worthy of love, you know?”

“i love your smile, and your laugh, and the way you get angry at the smallest things. i love how you look at me, talk to me, and hold my hand," he laughed gently.

“[y/n], i love you because you are you. soulmate or not. i choose to love you, and i’ll love you to the day i die,” he nudges his forehead against your’s, “you were so afraid, weren’t you? can’t you be afraid with me?

i can’t tell you how the future is going to go, i can’t promise you i won’t mess up, but i can promise you that i’ll love you forever and ever. so, can’t we two lonely people be together, and be together - a little less lonely?”

you laugh, out of breath, at his little tongue twister in the end, and he gives you that smile you love so much - the one where his eyes crinkle at the corner and his laugh escapes in little breaths.

“okay,” you promise, “no more hiding.”

“no more hiding,” he echoes, “just us two, choosing each other. soulmate marks be damned.”

he pinches your cheek.

a/n: ermmmm SURPRISE....!!!! SIGHHHHH CHILDHOOD FRIEND TAESAN......... the stuff dreams are made of.

you sigh as you sit back in your seat, his thumb now absentmindedly drawing circles into your knuckles. you can tell how drained he is lately, and the dark eye bags under his eyes are worrying. you know jaehyun loves to bite off more than he can chew, like that one time he decided he had to shoulder everything just because he was class president, or that one time he decided to do everything at once and didn’t tell you or anyone else at all, causing you to freak out when he suddenly collapsed out of nowhere out of sheer exhaustion. jaehyun tried his best at everything, and you loved that about him, but you can't help but worry he spread himself too thin, and if you're making it hard for him.

"myungie, if you're tired, we should've just skipped," you squeezed his hand, "we could've had a night in or something."

"no way!" jaehyun physically recoiled, incredulous, as if you had slapped him across the face with that suggestion, "you've been talking about going to this cafe for weeks now."

but it's no fun when it's like i'm talking to a wall.

you swallow down the words. your boyfriend has done nothing wrong and you know he’s the sweetest person on this planet - that was his problem, he never knew when to say no or tell other people about his worries.

"okay, okay, just don't take on too much, okay? you deserve some rest too, and i’m here if you need to vent, or something."

you give him a sympathetic smile, and he brings your intertwined hands to his lips, kissing you on the back of your hand.

"i know, i know. besides, being with you is the best recharge i can ask for."

you let out a soft laugh at his words. just then, the radio that was playing soft music in the corner of the 'retro throwback cafe' blares loudly -

"doc ock spotted downtown, all citizens within the area should evacuate. please do not approach the area and seek help immediately if you are unsafe. this is an official warning issued by the local police. i repeat - "

murmurs pick up around you as the radio goes on to repeat the same sentence. the cafe was far from being downtown, so no one makes a move to run.

except jaehyun - who untangles himself from your clasped hands and quickly stands up.

"i need to go," he quickly rushes out, grabbing his backpack that he brings with him everywhere.

"wait! where are you going?" you stand up too, wincing as you knock your knee against the table.

"um," jaehyun looks at you with a strange expression that you can't quite place, "i just remembered i told the old grandma that lives next door that i'd mow the lawn for her, right now. i'm sorry, love, but i really got to go."

he doesn't even let you respond, rushing out the door like his neighbour's lawn was going to blow up if he didn't move instantly. you sigh as you sit back down and sink into the cushioned seat. you half-heartedly stir the ice cubes in your drink, jaehyun's iced coffee still untouched across from you.

you stare at the text message that comes five hours later, the tv in the background reporting the same old news as always - spider-man beats up doc ock and also saves a cat in a tree. you wonder if someone as perfect as him has relationship issues.

myungjae: i'm sorry about today myungjae: i'll make it up to you, promise.  myungjae: dinner tomorrow? at your favourite?

you weren't sure what to even say. sure, like every other couple, you've had your ups and downs, but at this point you think your relationship felt like an afterthought to jaehyun, and you can't help but feel like - maybe he's just over it all.

it'll take more than two hands to count how many times he's dined and dashed you these past three months, always summoned by some mysterious phone call that beeped loudly and always interrupted your dates. lately, all your meals had ended in you sitting across from an empty seat and walking home alone, the only evidence of the tornado that was myung jaehyun having swept through being unfinished plates of pasta, noodles still swirled around the fork, and a hastily thrown-down wad of cash for dates he promised he would pay for.

still, it’s myung jaehyun. the guy who serenaded you in the middle of the night to ask you out, the guy who unabashedly throws his arms around you because he found you cute, and the guy who has an entire notebook dedicated to poems about you. 

you: u sure? not too tired? myungjae: nope myungjae: please 🥺  you: okayyy you: don't be late

you laugh at the selfie he sends in response, a close up one where he cheeses at the camera.

you knew you shouldn't have kept your hopes so high.

the waitress throws you the third pitying glance this past hour and you sigh, picking at the thread of the tablecloth. 

ten more minutes, and if he's no show, i'm paying using his credit card.

you wait for ten more minutes, and for some leniency, you give him ten more. and when he doesn't come you finally call over the waitress.

"did you guys argue?" she whispers, glancing at jaehyun's empty seat, "you guys are literally so sweet. he looks at you like you hung the stars. he's a keeper, that one."

"no, we didn't argue, he's just -" you rub your temples, glancing at your phone. still no messages, zero replies to your frantic questions, and no explanation to why he is an hour late.

"he's just… late," you shrug defeatedly, and the waitress sighs, shaking her head.

"well, then i suppose just the usual for you?" 

"yes, please. thank you." 

you give her a smile as you hand back the menu. as she walks away, you can't help but feel disappointed. 

jaehyun was always the perfect boyfriend. showed up to dates with flowers, gave you his jacket when it was cold (even though he was left freezing), sent you good morning and goodnight texts every day, and even handwrote you love letters. you think you've taken that for granted - he barely texts you good morning anymore, and when he does, it's usually at ungodly hours of the morning, right after the words under your own goodnight text turns into 'read'.

you sigh, stepping out into the city air. it's not too cold, not too hot - perfect stroll weather, jaehyun would've said. but the food settles heavily in your stomach and you want nothing more than to book it back home. you feel stupid for dressing up, your shoes uncomfortable and your clothes too restricting - why bother when you know it'll just end up like the last few times?

"[y/n]! wait - please! i'm sorry -" footstep slaps against the pavement, and you turn to see jaehyun running at you, heaving like he's just ran a marathon. he's clutching a bouquet of flowers to his chest.

"i'm sorry - something really important came up and i couldn't - i couldn't ignore it. and - and i didn't have time to text you! i know i messed up bad. but i couldn't just walk away - it was really important. i mean, not as important as you, but you know."

he stumbles through his excuses, face flushed and eyes pleading.

"i'm just, really sorry," he exhales heavily, "i got these for you."

he holds out the bouquet - yellow tulips peaking out from an arrangement of greens and oranges.

you sigh, pushing the bouquet back into him, "just keep it, jae."

you see his entire face crumple, "i didn't mean to... i just -"

he pulls on his hair in frustration, words unable to come out.

"i wish you would've just let me know," you say softly, "maybe we're just... not on the same page anymore. maybe we should take a break."

"no, no - not a break! please, [y/n]! i'll do better -"

he moves to grab at your hand, but you turn faster that he can. tears prick at your eyes so you hurry down the street back home. you can still hear jaehyun clambering after you, calling out apologies and asking to talk, but you tune out his words as you power walk towards your apartment, hands fisted by your side.

you turn down an alleyway you've walked a thousand times before, but it's unusually dark, and your footsteps slow as you peer into the darkness, jaehyun catches up and nearly bumps into your back.

"[y/n]? what’s wrong? why did you stop?"

a silver streak interrupts your reply, as what you can only describe as claws clamp around your midsection, knocking the air out of you. you scream as it yanks you up into the air, legs kicking wildly as something - someone emerges from the shadows.

"so this is the one spider boy likes," green goggles peer at you, and you try your best to lean back and turn your head away, eyes screwed shut.

"let them go, doc ock!" you've never heard jaehyun so panicked before, "you've got beef with me! they've got nothing to do with this!"

“you did this to yourself, spider-man,” doc ock sneers, waving you wildly around in his robotic arms, you feel like you’re going to throw up, is this what whiplash feels like?

“you could’ve avoided this all if you just kept out of my way.”

“let me go, asshole!” you cut him off, managing to choke out the words while wriggling in his grasp.

he turns to look at you, and in the momentary distraction, jaehyun shoots a web at one of his arms. the doctor swings wildly, and you scream as he nearly slams you into a wall, red bricks inches from your face.

“[y/n]!” jaehyun cries out, desperation evident in his voice, “i’ll give you the cure! just - just leave them alone!”

doc ock’s arms quickly wrap around jaehyun, and you watch as he doesn’t struggle.

“put them down.”

you crumple to the floor, gulping air, head spinning. so jaehyun is spider-man and you’re dating spider-man and spider-man might die right now and i almost just died and that’s what -

“[y/n]! what are you doing? run!”

jaehyun’s voice cuts through your train of thought and your head snaps upwards, he’s finally twisting and turning, and manages to get out of doc ock’s arms as he drops to the floor in that pose you’ve seen multiple times on the tv, he has the spider-man mask on now, white eyes darting between you and doc ock, who picks himself off of the floor, pulling webbing away from his eyes.

you don’t think twice, backing out of the alley and booking it, the sound of trash cans being thrown and buildings being dissembled in the background as you desperately punch the police number into your phone.

“doc ock’s here! you - you need to evacuate everyone!”

“spider-man once again saves the city after an alien ship descended last night, in this interview we speak to him and -”

you shut the tv off, everything’s been normal: blurry footage of spider-man swinging across rooftops, classes you can nap in, lectures you don’t understand, and coffee breaks with your friends where you joke about the bruises on your arm from the doc ock attack. the only thing missing was… him, jaehyun - your maybe-not-so boyfriend, the love of your life, and the only man keeping this entire city safe.

you look at your text messages with him, the last text still your ‘where the hell are you myung jaehyun???’ message from four days ago. he hasn’t written anything - not even the good morning text he’d send without fail even if you guys were arguing. it was like he had completely removed himself from your life, never again spotting him in the hallway, hell, he doesn’t even show up to the maths class you two share together anymore. you don’t know how he did it, but it's like he never existed at all.

and you know he's doing it because he's scared. you understand all his secrets and lies - all because he couldn't bear to put you in harm's way. you know he doesn't do the superhero shit for money, or for fame, he's just stupid myung jaehyun, who just so badly wants to do good and help everyone and save everyone. and even if it meant losing himself, he'd do it in a heartbeat.

you miss him, you realise with startling clarity. you miss his cheesy jokes and his cute smile. you miss his late night calls and how he’d hold your hand when he knew you were anxious or scared. you miss everything about him.

it can’t go on like this. i can’t go on like this.

jaehyun hasn’t slept in thirty hours. 

when he finally drags himself home, he’s ready to just drop to the ground and take a fat nap. the carpet you insisted on buying when he first moved in looked inviting as hell, but he manages to throw himself onto the sofa before closing his eyes.

it feels like he’s been living his life on autopilot, and he just feels tired, no matter how much he sleeps. his finger swipe to open your chat again, itching to type something - anything. but how does he start? ‘i’m sorry i didn’t tell you the truth?’ ‘i’m sorry for ditching our dates?’ ‘i wanted to tell you i just didn’t know how?’

or maybe you just didn’t want to hear from him at all. maybe that little voice in his head was right - being with you just put you in danger. no amount of ‘i love you’s and whispered promises of protections could actually help you when you were in danger. images of you dangling in mid-air, screaming, flashes in jaehyun’s head and he squeezes his eyes shut.

he shut off his phone, he can’t be selfish, he doesn’t have the right to be. not when you got hurt. not when he couldn’t protect you.

jaehyun wakes up to knocking on his door. 

he rubs his eyes with the back of his hand, nearly tripping on the backpack he had hastily dropped onto the floor as he stumbles towards the door.

“yeah?” he yanks open the door and stops short, blinking the sleep out of his eyes as he registers the person standing in front of the house.

“hi,” you say softly, smiling. 

he notices the ring of bruises around your arm first, and a pang of guilt runs through him, lighting up his nerves.

“you - you shouldn’t be here,” he swallows harshly.

“had to do what i had to do,” you shrug.

“[y/n],” he stutters through your name.

he can feel the tears welling up in his eyes, and he turns his face away from you.

“hey, you big crybaby,” you step up to him, gently cupping his cheeks in your hands and turning his face so you can look at him, “talk to me.”

“we shouldn’t - we can’t be together,” his eyes are down turned, and he wants to grab you so badly but he knows that if he does then he’ll never be able to let you go. and he has to.

“oh, jae,” you sigh, “i know you think we can’t be together, but can’t you respect me enough to let me make my own decision? i’ve thought about it - really. i know… i know there’s risks but i don’t want you to face everything alone. jae, we’ve always been a team, right? i want to face those things with you.”

“but what if you get hurt again?” his forehead lands on your shoulder, “i can’t forgive myself if something happens.”

“then that’s just the consequences of my own actions, jae,” your arms come up to wrap around him, “not your’s. i know what i’m getting into, you know? but - but i love you. so here i am - standing in your doorway. isn't it about time somebody saved your life?”

you can feel his shoulders start to shake as his arm snakes around your waist pulling you closer.

“well? say something.”

“thank you.”

you open your mouth to reply, but loud sirens blaring from the police car that tears down the street interrupt you. jaehyun straightens up and his gaze wavers between you and the car, uncertain.

you smile, “go get ‘em, tiger.”

you can now read part two here!

remember never let your mans part time job stop him from being there for you

also i can't promise it but maybe villain riwoo is next (threatening).

you look at the adults hanging around at the back, looking at their phones instead of fossils, “and if the parents could just come and sign off on this sheet, that would be great.”

you watch as the kids disperse and run around their parents feet. a mother approaches you, her hand holding a shy little girl.

“thank you for the tour, yuna loved it,” the mother squeezed the little girl as she nudges her forward, “say thank you, yuna.”

“thank you!” yuna shyly parrots.

“hey, no worries kiddo. i’m glad you liked it,” you pass your clipboard to the mother with a pen as you bend down to talk to yuna, “what was your favourite part?”

“the dreadnoughtus!” yuna’s eyes brighten, “it was so big!”

“yeah! i like that one too! her name means ‘fear nothing’, did you know that?”

yuna nods aggressively and her mother laughs, “yuna’s obsessed with dinosaurs. she spent every day at the hospital reading dinosaur books.”

“wow, so you must know a lot, huh?” 

“i do!” yuna proclaims, “i love dinosaurs! they’re so strong and big!”

“mhm! here. why don’t you take this?” you dig into your pocket and produce a small dreadnoughtus keychain - you have one of every species, you never know which one is a kid’s favourite, “as a gift.”

“for me?”

“of course. i think she’ll like you very much.”

“i’m gonna name her suzie!”

“that’s a cute name!”

“i want to be like you when i grow up!” yuna’s eyes are wide as she stares up at you.

“i’m sure you’re much smarter than i am,” you laugh, “and i like your shirt, too.”

your boyfriend’s mask stares back at you, red with white eyes. yuna puffs out her chest proudly.

“i’m spider-man’s biggest fan!”

“really?” you look up at yuna’s mother, who sighs and nods.

“her entire hospital room is filled with spider-man merchandise.”

“do you like spider-man too?”

yuna blinks at you. well, you like him a little more than like.

“i do,” you nod, “you chose two very excellent things to like, yuna.”

yuna nods with a self satisfied grin, “i know.”

you point at suzie in yuna’s hand, “do you know what the cool thing about suzie is, yuna?”

yuna shakes her head.

“she was found with evidence of healed bones - which means even 70 million years ago, she got hurt and kept going. pretty tough, right? just like spider-man.”

yuna’s smile brightens significantly at your words - the sight of it makes the entire day worth it.

you look around and lower your voice conspiratorially, “and… don’t tell anyone else, but i’m friends with spider-man.”

you were technically friends with spider-man. just maybe something else on top of that, too.

“you know spider-man?!” yuna blurts out before she claps a hand over her mouth, “can - can you give him something?”

“give him something?” you tilt your head as yuna shakes off her spider-man patterned backpack and rummages through it.

“i wrote a letter for him, in case i see him one day,” yuna says shyly as she produces a pink envelope. TO SPIDER-MAN written on it in careful crayon letters.

“oh, how cute,” you hold out your hands and yuna gingerly places it into your palms, “i’ll make sure he reads it.”

“thank you!” yuna beams, her smile bright like the sun.

“can i ask what it says?”

yuna’s mother speaks up, her voice gentle. "yuna wants to see if spider-man could visit her at the hospital."

the way she says it - the weight behind those simple words - tells you everything she doesn't say. you've seen that look before, felt it before - in jaehyun’s eyes whenever he visits his uncle’s grave and in between the breaths you held as you waited by gayeon’s door at the hospital. it’s the careful way people hold onto moments they know are numbered.

"i'll make sure he gets it," you promise, and you mean it with every fiber of your being, "i promise, yuna."

“good day at work?” jaehyun is grabbing at your bags the moment you step foot through the door of your apartment.

you let him take them with a grateful smile, leaning up to press a kiss against his jaw.

“the same old. twenty very excited eight year old kids and a lot of very loud screams at the animatronic dinosaurs. then someone yelled at me at the coffee shop because their drink was ‘too hot’. i told them to blow on it,” you laugh.

“sounds exhausting,” he murmurs, his hand finding the small of your back as he guides you inside, like it’s second nature. he’s always reaching for you in these quiet moments, your support, even in the small ways.

“by the way,” he adds, “i made dinner. your favourite.”

“you didn’t have to -”

“i wanted to -” jaehyun interrupts gently, setting your bags down and turning to face you properly. his hands come up to cradle your face, thumbs brushing your cheek as he smiles, his eyes soft.

“i know today’s your long day. i missed you.”

you laugh, leaning into his touch, “you literally saw me out the door this morning.”

"that was eight hours ago," jaehyun says seriously, it sounds like he’s saying eight years instead of eight hours, "that's way too long."

you shake your head fondly, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face in his chest. he smells like fabric softener and that cologne you bought him for his birthday, and underneath it all, just jaehyun. home.

“you’re so clingy,” you mumble against his skin.

“only for you,” he replies, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. his arms tighten around you and for a long moment the two of you just sway in the entryway, his heartbeat thrumming gently against your ear. 

“how are you, really? you’ve been looking tired lately,” he mumbles against your hair.

“i’m okay,” you assure him, pulling back to meet his eyes, “just busy. nothing i can’t handle.”

“i know you can handle it,” jaehyun’s voice is impossibly soft, “you can handle anything. you can even handle me. but you don’t always have to, you know? let me take care of you, too.”

you sigh. jaehyun’s still so… jaehyun. always worried about everyone else, always trying to carry the world on his shoulders. you’ve learned over the years that he wants (needs) to take care of people - it’s part of who he is, spider-man or not.

“you already are,” you tell him, reaching out to smooth down a stubborn piece of brown hair, “dinner, remember?”

the smile on his face only grows wider - the same one that makes you fall in love with him all over again, “yeah. come on, it’s gonna get cold.”

over dinner - your favourite, because it’s never changed since all those years ago - you tell him about your day. about the kids and the fossils and how the museum is planning a new exhibit on prehistoric marine life. about how the coffee shop smells like overwhelming peppermint now and you have to learn three new drink orders for the winter season. jaehyun listens, ask questions, laughs at your stories, never makes you seem like your mundanity is just that - mundane.

he tells you about his day when the two of you squeeze together on the couch, knees pressed together. a bank robbery, a cat stuck in a tree, a runaway subway car (the cat was the worst). complains about the amount of economic homework he has despite having a presentation on the ethics of journalism coming up, because in classic jaehyun fashion he decided to do a double major instead of just picking one like a normal person. he talks about how his boss at the daily bugle hates him - as both jaehyun and spider-man, and how he has to respond to thousands of hate mail about spider-man today at his desk when all he wants to do is write about the city’s poor public transport design.

“right, speaking of which -” you reach into your bag, “i have something for you.”

“for me?” he raises an eyebrow.

you pull out yuna’s letter, the pink envelope slightly crumpled from being in your bag all day.

“from a little girl at the museum today. calls herself your biggest fan.”

jaehyun lets out a soft laugh as he gently takes the letter from your hand, “what’s her name?”

“yuna. she’s eight,” you pause, watching his face, “hospital visitor - the museum trip was her wish.”

“oh,” jaehyun says softly, suddenly somber. he opens the letter with trembling fingers. you watch as his eyes scan through the careful handwriting and concentrated effort. when he looks up, there are tears threatening to spill over.

“she wants me to come visit,” he whispers.

“i know,” you say gently, reaching out to thread your fingers through his, “i promised her you’ll read her letter.”

“of course i’ll go,” he says immediately, squeezing your hand, “i have to go.”

“i know you will,” you murmur, bringing his hand up to press a kiss to his knuckles. “it’s you we’re talking about.”

jaehyun sets the letter down carefully on the coffee table, his eyes intense. silence falls over the room as you let him think.

“it’s stuff like this that reminds me about why i’m spider-man,” he says suddenly - softly. “not for money or for fame. just because i get to help people like yuna.”

you wrap your arms around him and kiss his cheek, “i know, jae, and i love you and your big heart.”

jaehyun buries his head into your arms, “i love you too, and i’m sorry for missing last week’s date.”

“you’re forgiven,” you say simply, smoothing down his hair.

he looks up, his eyes shining with tears, but he leans in to kiss you - soft and desperate and full of love. his hands slide into your hair, and you melt into him like you always do.

the next few weeks past by in a blur of museum tours, classes, barked coffee orders, and a lot of cataloguing bones. jaehyun throws himself into making yuna’s visit perfect with the same intensity he brings to everything else. you find yourself coming home to jaehyun hunched over the kitchen table, surrounded by craft supplies as he carefully assembles a custom spider-man mask in yuna’s size.

“does this look okay?” he asks one night, holding it up anxiously, “is it ugly?”

you walk over and wrap your arms around him, resting your chin on his shoulder, “it looks great, jae. she’ll love it.”

he leans back into your warmth with a sigh, “i just keep thinking - what if i disappoint her? what if -”

“hey, hey,” you interrupt gently, squeezing him, “you showing up there is going to make her day, jae. you being there is enough.”

jaehyun turns in your arms, burying his face in your stomach. you run your fingers through his hair - steady, just the way he likes it.

“i wish i could help her more,” he mumbles against your shirt, “i don’t want to stop at just showing up.”

you kneel down to cup jaehyun’s cheeks, “you are helping her, more than you think. you’re giving her something to look forward to. you’re giving her a memory she’ll hold onto for the rest of her life. and you’re showing her that the world still has people who care.”

your thumb swipes over his eyelids as his eyes flutter shut at your touch, tired.

“you can’t fix everything, jae. you can’t carry everything. not even as spider-man. but showing up with your whole heart? trying your best anyways? that’s already more than most people ever do.”

you nudge his forehead against your’s, “you don’t need to save her to matter to her, jae. you just need to be there. that’s enough. you are enough.”

you lean in to whisper, “and i’ll be right there with you. okay? you’re not doing this alone. remember when you saved me just because you showed up when i needed you?”

jaehyun finally opens his eyes to look at you, eyes red-rimmed but full of love, “you saved me first.”

he clasps your hand and doesn’t hide the tremble in them.

“then we’re even,” you smile, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss against his nose, “now go to bed. you’ve been working on this for hours.”

“five more minutes -”

“myung jaehyun,” you say seriously, and he blanches at the government name, “bed, now. the mask won’t grow legs and run away. it’ll be here tomorrow.”

he pouts but lets you pull him up from the chair. in the bedroom, you help him out of his clothes, finger gentle as you trace over the new bruises you find on his ribs.

“doc ock?” you ask quietly.

“scorpion, actually,” he admits, “it’s okay. it doesn’t hurt. really.”

you learned not to argue, and just lean down to press soft kisses to each bruise. a sigh flutters from jaehyun’s lips as he lets you pull his sleep shirt over his head. 

in bed, jaehyun pulls you close, his face buried in your neck.

“thank you,” he whispers. you barely catch it in your drowsiness.

“for what?”

“for loving me. for staying. for - for everything.”

you shift in his arms, raising your hand to let your fingers trace the lines of his face in the darkness. the slope of his nose and dips in his cheek are familiar even if you can’t see.

“there’s nowhere else i’d rather be and no one else i’d rather love, jae,” you admit softly.

you hear him shuffle before he leans forward to kiss you, slow and sweet and full of promise. when you finally fall asleep, you’re tangled together like you always are, him curling around you protectively, an arm thrown over your shoulder and his lips against the skin of your collarbone.

the morning of yuna’s visit, you wake up to find jaehyun already awake, staring at the ceiling with an anxious expression.

“can’t sleep?” you ask, voice still rough with sleep.

“i’m just scared,” he says quietly.

you prop yourself up on your elbow, looking down at him.

“jae, look at me.”

he does, and you lean down to brush your lips against his.

“it’s going to be fine. you’re going to be amazing,” you tell him firmly, “you always are. and i’ll be right there with you, okay? we’ll do this together.”

“together,” he repeats, some of the tension leaving his shoulders.

“always,” you confirm, leaning down to kiss him again, properly this time.

“tell me more dinosaur facts?” jaehyun proposes as you pull away.

you sigh but a smile dances on your lips, “is this your way of telling me you never listen to me?”

jaehyun pouts. but you know he always listens, even if all he remembers is that zuul crurivastator means ‘destroyer of shins’.

you’re setting up the fossil identification game yuna requested when a gasp goes up around the room.

“spider-man!” yuna straightens up in her bed immediately as jaehyun swings through the hospital window, landing lightly on the floor.

“hey there, yuna,” jaehyun says, his voice still warm under the mask, “heard someone here is spider-man’s biggest fan!”

yuna looks at you, bewildered, and you smile in response - “you - you actually got spider-man to read my letter?!”

“sure did,” jaehyun replies for you, walking over to ruffle yuna’s hair, “you’re really good at writing, yuna!”

you watch as your boyfriend kneels down to yuna’s level and carefully places the mask he made on her head. your heart clenches at the way her eyes shine with tears of joy.

“this is for you,” he says softly, “because you’re just as strong as i am.”

you stand back, letting jaehyun work his magic. he’s so good with her - hands her a dinosaur dreadnoughtus plushie (because you mentioned it was her favourite), answers all her questions with silly and exaggerated storytelling, poses for photos, and lets her win in a web-shooting contest with silly string. he sits beside her when she gets tired, and he tries his best to navigate through conversations about dinosaurs and gently listens to her go on about superheroes and everything she wants to do when she grows up.

your heart aches with love for him. this man who carries the weight of an entire city but still has room in his heart for one little girl. this man who shows up, who cares, who tries so hard to make the world a little bit better.

later, when the visit is winding down and yuna is tired but happy, jaehyun sits with her one more time.

"can i tell you a secret?" yuna whispers.

"of course," jaehyun says gently.

"i'm scared sometimes," she admits quietly. "about being sick. about - about everything."

you watch as jaehyun's shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath. he pulls off his gloves and let yuna feel the warmth in his palm when she takes it.

“you know what i’ve learnt? being brave doesn’t mean not being scared, it means being scared and choosing to do the thing anyways,” jaehyun pauses, his voice growing stronger, “and also - it’s getting up again and again, no matter what happens and no matter how hard things get. heroes always get back up. that’s what makes someone a superhero. not the powers, or the mask. it’s getting back up, every single time. and yuna? you do that every single day. you’re the bravest person i’ve ever met.”

“braver than you?”

“way braver,” he says seriously, “i have superpowers. you’re doing this all on your own. that’s real strength.”

yuna looks between him and small suzie in her hands, she then presses it into jaehyun’s hands.

“you should take small suzie. she’ll tell you to be brave and not scared of anything.”

jaehyun carefully takes the keychain and tucks it into one of the pockets on his belts.

“i’ll take her with me everywhere,” he promises solemnly, “and hey, yuna? remember to stay strong too. and anytime you need spider-man, [y/n] knows how to reach me. deal?”

“deal,” yuna agrees, her smile bright despite her exhaustion.

that night, jaehyun is quiet. he goes through the motions - dinner, shower after his nightly patrol, getting ready for bed - but you can tell his mind is somewhere else. when you slide into bed beside him, he pulls you close immediately, arms tight around you like he's afraid to let go.

"thank you," he whispers into the darkness, "for today. for being there."

"always," you murmur back, pressing a kiss to his chest.

he's silent for a long moment, then: "she's so small - yuna. she's just a kid and she's going through so much, and all i could think about was - i want to help her, and why wasn’t i enough?"

"jae," you interrupt gently, tilting your head up to look at him even though you can barely see his face in the dark, "you gave her hope. you gave her something to believe in. that's everything."

he doesn't respond, just holds you tighter. eventually, his breathing evens out, but you can tell he's not really asleep - just thinking, processing, carrying the weight of the world quietly like he always does.

the next day, jaehyun throws himself into being spider-man with a intensity that worries you. he jumps from buildings recklessly, web slings between trees like they aren’t there, and fights villains like he’s trying to get himself killed. he comes home exhausted, barely touches his dinner, and falls asleep on the couch before he can make it to bed. you drape his blanket over him and press a kiss to his forehead, settling into the armchair off to the side to keep watch over a mug of tea and a book.

when he wakes up gasping a few hours later, disoriented and reaching for you, you’re there immediately.

“hey,” you say softly, kneeling beside the couch, “you okay?”

“nightmare,” he admits, his fingers brushing against your face gingerly in the dim light, “you… there was - doesn’t matter.”

you can guess what he means - he’s had these nightmares before, and sometimes he confesses its about all the people he lost and the fact that he can’t save everyone - he just can’t.

“i’m right here,” you whisper, “i’m okay. not going anywhere.”

he hums, the sound vibrating under the palm you put on his cheek.

“come on,” you say gently, “let’s go to an actual bed and get some actual sleep.”

he lets you lead him to the bedroom, and this time when you curl up together, he falls asleep almost immediately, his hands fisting in your shirt, almost as if he let go, you'd slip through and disappear. when your hand runs through his hair soothingly, his face becomes more peaceful than it was before and he presses himself closer against you.

two nights later, you find jaehyun on the roof again, still in costume, but his mask is off, his hair messy. he’s clutching small suzie in his hand.

you sit beside him quietly, and he leans into you, dropping the whole of his bodyweight onto your shoulder. you let him, because someone has to carry him too, slowly lacing your fingers through his. his head lands on your shoulder with a long sigh.

“i’ve been thinking,” he admits quietly, “about yuna. about what it means to be a hero. about - about us.”

“yeah?” you prompt gently.

he turns to look at you, and there’s something deeply vulnerable in his eyes, “i know we’ve talked about it before. but - but the visit. it made me think again.”

he takes a shaky breath, “i’ve been thinking about how being spider-man affects you, how it puts you in danger and how it complicates your life. i know you keep putting your life on hold for me, and i know you can’t quit your part time job at the coffee shop because i can never keep mine. but i’ve never really thought about what it means when you stay anyway.”

“you could have anyone. someone normal. someone who comes home every night and helps pay the rent on time. but you chose me. you keep choosing me, every single moment and every single day. and i don’t think i’ve ever told and shown you what that means to me.”

“oh, jae,” you sigh, your hand coming up to cradle his face, thumb stroking just below his eye, “you talk about me choosing you like i’m choosing a burden. but you’re not a complication i put up with, and i’ll choose this life every single time, no matter what. and… you do show me. you show me every day. every time you come home to me, every time you let me take care of you, every time you trust me with the hard parts - you show me so much, i can only wish i’m doing enough.”

“you are -” jaehyun chokes on his words, like he can’t get them out fast enough, “you are. you talked so much about spider-man giving yuna hope, and i - i realised you do that for me. you’re my hope. you’re the reason i can keep getting back up, keep fighting, keep believing this is all worth it.”

“i love you,” his voice cracks slightly, “i love you so much it scares me. i wish you could understand. i can’t imagine my life without you in it - seeing you fight so hard to keep us together, even though all i did was push you away… it made me realize how brave you are too. staying with me, loving me despite everything. you're the strongest person i know.”

you wrap your arms around his shoulders as he leans into you, you nudge your forehead against his - “we’re a team,” you remind him softly, “we make each other stronger.”

“i don’t deserve you,” he whispers.

“yes, you do,” you say with your whole chest, because you believe it - “you deserve everything good in this world, myung jaehyun. and i’m going to spend the rest of my life making sure you know that.”

you give him a delicate kiss on his nose, and he sniffles before leaning into you to capture your lips in a real kiss, desperate and loving and full of everything he can’t quite put into words. when you finally pull apart, you’re both crying a little, but still smiling.

"come on," you say, standing and pulling him up with you, "let's go inside. it's getting cold out."

"i love you," he says again as you head toward the roof door.

"i love you too," you reply, squeezing his hand. "always have, always will."

in your apartment, you help him out of his suit with careful hands, pressing kisses to each new bruise and scar you find underneath. you run him a bath and sit beside the tub, washing his hair while he closes his eyes and lets you care for him.

"this is nice," he mumbles.

"you deserve nice things," you tell him, massaging his scalp gently.

"i have you," he says, opening his eyes to look at you, "that's the nicest thing i could ever ask for."

your heart swells as you pinch his cheek with a soapy hand, "you sap."

"your sap," he corrects with a small smile, full of adoration for you.

later, in bed, he pulls you close, his face buried in your neck.

"promise me something," he whispers.

“anything.”

“promise me you’ll always tell me when it gets too hard. when it gets too much. promise me you won’t just endure it because you love me.”

you pull back to look at him, “jae - loving you has never been anything i have to endure. loving you is the easiest thing i’ve ever done. i told you - we face things together, even if they’re dangerous or scary.”

“together,” he echoes, he deflates like there’s a literal weight lifting from his shoulders.

“forever and always,” you affirm, pulling him down for a kiss.

you gasp as the kiss turns heavy, each kiss more desperate and loving than the last. his hands dips under the waistband of your shorts and his thumb traces circles into your hips as he pulls you onto him. he’s gentle, hands and whispers reverent. the two of you unravel into each other as night turns into day. when you finally fall asleep, it’s with jaehyun’s arms wrapped around you, his lips pressed to your forehead, his whispered ‘i love you’ the last thing you hear.

three weeks later, yuna’s mom sends you a photo. you show it to jaehyun over breakfast - it’s yuna wearing the spider-man mask and clutching big suzie in her arms. despite the tiredness in her small frame and the iv lines, she’s giving the camera a peace sign with a smile. 

“her mom says that she keeps repeating the fact that spider-man told her to keep getting back up whenever she has a bad day,” you let a small smile ghost your face, “says thank you for giving yuna something to hold onto.”

jaehyun reads the message at least three times, and each time you see more hope bloom in his expression. because that's what this is really about, isn't it? not knowing what tomorrow brings, but choosing to get back up anyway. choosing to fight, to love, to hope.

"do you think -" jaehyun starts, then stops.

"i think," you say carefully, understanding what he can't quite ask, "that yuna is strong. stronger than any of us know. and whatever happens, she's not facing it alone - and she has hope. sometimes hope is enough to change everything."

"sometimes," jaehyun echoes, but he's smiling now, that small hopeful smile that you love so much.

you don't know what yuna's future holds. none of you do. but you know she's fighting, and she's brave, and she has people who love her. and sometimes, that's all any hero needs - the strength to get back up, and people who believe they can.

the morning sun streams through your kitchen window, and jaehyun smiles at you with all the love in the world shining in his eyes. you think about how lucky you are. not just to love him, but to be loved by him. 

a few years ago, you told him it was about time somebody saved his life, because he'd been saving yours all along, just by being exactly who he is - someone who never stops getting back up, never stops caring, never stops trying to make the world a little bit better, even if that means scarring his own hands.

your hero. the city's hero. but most importantly - just jaehyun, the love of your life, your partner, your home.

and you wouldn't change a single thing.

♡ or ↻ if you enjoyed, support your writers, thank you!! what did you think? drop your thoughts in my inbox!

never let your man being spider-man get in the way of you thriving! if anyone would like to read this fic - but better - this is heavily inspired by the kid who collects spider-man and all its adaptations & interpretations.

#리우 RIWOO

riwoo just came back from winning his local performative male contest. he argues that he’s aware and progressive and he has made everyone, especially you, aware of this fact! he comes to the group hangouts equipped with his latest feminist literature (that he obviously read on the train ride here) in his tote bag while listening on his wired headphones. he’s always talking about his enlightened views and is always the first to yell “wow, toxic masculinity much?!” at the rest of the guys.

to sungho whenever he holds the door open: “do you know chivalry is rooted in benevolent sexism?”. to jaehyun whenever he starts passionately defending you: “it’s so dude of you to assume [y/n] can’t fight her own battles”. but its all a performance! taesan is making comments like “wow, you’re so confident! i could never repost that many feminist quotes onto my instagram story without actually listening to women, you make it look so easy”. riwoo claims to be your ideological match, he gets you - totally! he’ll send you articles at 2am with “thought you’d find this interesting” even when you don’t! the hangouts drive him insane because why are you hanging out with these low level losers when he and his woke, politically correct values are right there!

#명재현 MYUNG JAEHYUN

you could be killing people out there and still jaehyun will be your knight! if [y/n] has a million fans, then i am one of them. if [y/n] has ten fans, then i am one of them. if [y/n] has only one fan then that is me. if [y/n] has no fans, then that means i am no longer on earth. if the world is against [y/n], then i am against the world. is his motto and he repeats it to himself every night before going to bed. he’s camping in your instagram comments like ‘bro she doesn’t want you’ ‘112.218.73.138 this you?’ and sometimes even resorts to passionate essays that fill up your activity notifications.

he takes his role very, very seriously. he’s always watching out during group hangouts and immediately jumps to your defense at any hint of attack. he’ll even defend the others just to get back at taesan - “erm, actually, i think sungho’s interest in cinema is cool’ - even though he could give less of a shit, he just hates taesan. jaehyun hears warning bells whenever leehan opens his mouth and bats his eyelashes and jaehyun tells you all about how you cannot trust that snake! but it just comes off as jealous paranoia and leehan just looks so hurt and innocent that jaehyun ends up looking like the bad guy. woonhak’s the only one jaehyun’s trust - he confides in the younger boy about all his suspicions, not knowing woonhak is tattling off to other people using this information. the others find jaehyun exhausting - but their opinion doesn’t matter to him, only yours does. he’ll write a thousand essays and send a thousand “i don’t to start drama but…” messages if it means you’ll give him a sprinkle of your attention.

#태산 TAESAN

taesan let’s everyone know that he’s your guy best friend, and there’s nothing that could change that - which also means that he’s better than the rest of the guys. he’s the “i hate your boyfriend” best friend’s final boss, he would not hesitate to call out their bullshit while making himself out to be the obvious better choice.

to jaehyun’s defenseness, taesan is saying shit like “i could never write such long essays for a girl that doesn’t even notice you, but i guess shamelessness is a skill”; and leehan’s constantly getting the “i could never act helpless just to get attention, you’re so much braver than me” comments. he would never let go of any chance to prove himself as the best choice. he’s just mean because he’s protective and you deserve the best (me)! he’s constantly reminding everyone of your shared history - bringing up inside jokes and shared memories and taunting the others with them. taesan believes himself to be irreplaceable - he’s the one person you can’t imagine your life without. he’ll sabotage any relationship that threatens your relationship and he’s just your honest, straight-forward best friend who tells it like it is.

#이한 LEEHAN

the world has never seen a scheming green tea much like leehan. he’s all pouty and wide eyed all the time, and he knows what he’s doing. and no - he’s not sorry. he’s falling and tripping over his own feet and going oh, i’m so clumsy! whenever he sees you and is completely ready to drive a wedge in between every one of your relationships so he can have you to himself.

he’ll accidentally send you a screenshot of taesan shit talking someone, know you wouldn’t like that, and he feels no guilt about it. he’ll flirt with you even when you’re dating someone else because ummm, why wouldn’t you? i mean - have you seen her?. whenever someone talks to him in the wrong tone tears immediately spring to his eyes and he’s cuddling into you and crying about how mean jaehyun was to him when he accidentally said something that set him off. he’s all doe-eyed and fragile and he doesn’t know what he did wrong!, and you have to comfort him because you're the only person that doesn’t hate him like the others do :(( leehan’s obsessed with winning you over, he’s a very, very patient man after all. he doesn’t want to be the one, he wants to be the only one, even if that means ruining some of your relationships forever.

#운학 WOONHAK

while everyone else is fighting it out, woonhak genuinely believes he’s the hero of his own romance story. every manipulation, every piece of chaos he creates, every relationship he damages - he’s doing it for you. it’s for the good ending! he’s doing it for you and defeating all the bad guys because… they’re bad! he’s the only one who truly cares for you.

so when he tells you about riwoo’s weird comments when you’re not around or leehan’s two-faced behaviour, he doesn’t see anything wrong about it! taesan tries to call out woonhak’s shit but all woonhak does is tear up and great, now taesan just looks like a bully and woonhak doesn’t even throw himself into your arms like leehan, he just goes and cries in the corner until you take pity on him. he’s just your innocent, naive, sweet little brother who’s, erm, kinda obsessed with you! he’ll orchestrate a falling out with your best friend just to crumble into tears and distress when you call him out because he just meant to help! he insists through sobs that he’s just “looking out for you” and weeping about how “this always happens when i try to help”! he’s your pure-hearted sweetie who saves you from all the bad guys and gets the princess in the end, so his actions are justified!! in the end, after literally setting fire all your relationships, he’ll look you in the eyes, believe he did the right thing, and expect you to thank him for it.

pick me choose me love me!!!

♡ or ↻ if you enjoyed, support your writers, thank you!!

what did you think? drop your thoughts in my inbox!

WEEK ONE, THURSDAY (9AM): CLASSROOM 530

“alright class, settle down,” professor kwon announces, his tablet glowing as he begins to shakily write words on the chalkboard - fighting with, against, and using telepathy and the likes, the thin piece of chalk too fragile within his claws, “from our last session, what are the three cardinal rules of telepathic combat?”

your hand shoots up immediately, but dongmin’s smug voice echoes in your head before you can speak.

don’t strain yourself, dummy. i’ll handle this one. he drawls as he raises his hand up as well.

i will end you. your mind voice seethes.

“mr han, since you seem so eager, please share with the class.”

dongmin leans back in his chair two rows behind you - you can feel his satisfaction and smugness radiating like heat from a stove, “maintain your shields, never force entry into a guarded mind, and always have an exit strategy.”

“perfect. good job, mr. han.”

you twist around in your seat to glare at him. he wiggles his fingers in a mocking wave. woonhak sweats between the two of you and pretends not to notice your obvious stare by staring down at the table.

“miss [l/n], please face forward,” professor kwon sighs, “it’s been two years, i swear, you two are still the same. you never learn.”

“professor! it’s not my fault he’s an irritating, grade-grubbing, unethic -”

“that was not an invitation to tell us about your personal and interrelational grievances,” professor kwon interrupts, tapping his chalk against his whiteboard. you clench your fists as you deflate in your seat.

beside you, chaewon scribbles furiously in her notebook and slides it over: you’re going to give yourself a mental aneurysm before finals.

yunjin leans over from your other side, whispering, “twenty bucks they make out by the winter ball.”

“what?!” you yelp out loud. your cheeks burn. you hadn’t been thinking about that. not exactly. maybe once - in a nightmare.

the entire classroom turns to stare at you.

professor kwon pulls down his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose, “detention. both of you. next friday after combat training.”

“me?” dongmin points a finger at himself, clueless, “but i didn’t do anything? she was the one who yelled out loud.”

“no, you definitely did something,” professor kwon gives a knowing look and shakes his head, offering no further clarification or information, much to dongmin’s chagrin.

WEEK ONE, THURSDAY (12PM): THE QUAD

“i fucking hate han dongmin,” you fume, aggressively stabbing your pasta, “i can’t believe he got me detention.”

kazuha pats your shoulder sympathetically while eunchae tries not to giggle into her sandwich.

“to be fair,” chaewon says diplomatically, “you both kind of brought this on yourselves.”

“absolutely not” you whip your head around to stare at her, “he started it! he’s always in my mind, always one-upping me in class, always -”

“living rent-free in your head?” yunjin grins like a cat.

you launch a cherry tomato at her with your mind. she squeals and dodges.

across the quad, you can see dongmin’s squad lounging under their usual tree. donghyun is explaining something, the birds perched on his finger animatedly performing what seems like the world’s most dramatic reenactment of romeo and juliet while woonhak laughs so hard he nearly falls off the bench. dongmin, infuriatingly, is already looking directly at you.

he raises his juice box in a mock toast.

enjoy your lunch, partner, his voice purrs through your mental link. next time, don’t get us into detention?

it’s not like i wanted to, you mutter.

i think you just want to spend more one-on-one time with me, dongmin arches an eyebrow at you, tantalising smirk dancing on his face.

you slam your mental shields up.

kazuha shakes her head as you stab your fork through the container of your pasta, the aluminium no match for your rage.

eunchae snorts, “[y/n] so going to murder him by the winter ball.”

“the winter ball is in, like, a month,” chaewon points out.

“exactly.”

WEEK TWO, WEDNESDAY (2PM): DANGER ROOM

“alright, everyone,” sakura claps her hands, “today we’re doing something you all will be quite familiar with. individual assessment in the danger room. whack-a-mole scenario.”

the class groans collectively.

“and for anyone new or somehow forgot over the summer,” sakura continues, “this is a free-for-all simulation. the arena floor will randomly generate blocks that drop from above or shoot up from below. your job is simple: don’t get squished. last person standing wins.”

this is barbaric, kazuha mumbles through your mental link.

tell me about it, yunjin groans.

remember chaewon’s trip and flip? eunchae giggles.

hey! chaewon says indignantly. i thought we promised we weren’t going to bring that up ever again! that block was in my blind spot!

“in the field, threats come from everywhere,” sakura says diplomatically, like she heard your grievances through your telepathy, “you need to maintain constant awareness. use whatever abilities you have. adapt or get eliminated.”

“define eliminated?” woonhak asks nervously, fiddling with his fingers.

“the blocks are simply a simulation. they’ll stop a few centimeters from actual contact and register you as ‘out’. but they’re programmed to feel real, so i suggest not testing them,” sakura smiles mysteriously, “any questions?”

yunjin raises her hand, “are we allowed to sabotage each other?”

“of course,” sakura says, too breezily, “all’s fair in this game. this is about survival and tactics, after all.”

you can’t help but glance across the prep area. dongmin is already looking at you, and his smirk makes you want to put him through a paper shredder until he’s mush.

confident? his voice slides into your mind, smug as ever.

incredibly, you counter. remember when you said you’d like to see me try to get you?

vaguely, dongmin drawls, i don’t really remember such insignificant things.

you grit your teeth. watch yourself, han dongmin. today’s the day i destroy you. 

you’re welcome to try. but you might want to worry about your own survival first.

oh, i can multitask.

“everyone, the danger room is open!” sakura calls, “you have a minute to find your starting positions. once the simulation begins, blocks will begin spawning. they will get faster and more frequent as time goes on. good luck!”

the door hisses open. the arena is set up as a wide open space. no cover, nowhere to hide. just a flat expanse where blocks can spawn from any direction without warning.

twenty students fan out across the floor, eyeing each other warily.

you position yourself near the center - for maximum awareness of the space. dongmin, naturally, takes a position directly across from you. even from here, you can feel the subtle prod of his attention focused on you through the permanent mental link you and him somehow have.

you’re staring, you project.

just making sure i know where you are. for when the blocks start dropping, he replies casually.

thoughtful. you know - i’m really going to enjoy watching you get flattened. 

“begin!” sakura’s voice echoes through the chamber.

for exactly three seconds, nothing happens.

then the first block drops.

it’s massive, easily two meters across, and it falls from the ceiling with terrifying speed, aimed directly for a student near the east wall. they barely manage to roll away in time as the block slams into the floor with a loud, echoing, metallic clang before disappearing into pixels.

two more blocks shoot up from the floor simultaneously. one student gets clipped and vanishes in a flash of light - eliminated.

“nineteen left!” sakura announces.

the blocks start coming faster. drop from above. shoot from below. sometimes it gets quirky and does both at once. donghyun jogs after a dog that trots across the floor far too leisurely for the situation and gets nicked, disappearing into pixels. you telekinetically nudge a block away from you and scan the space with your mind, simultaneously juggling perspectives from a few select students. woonhak is yelling triumphantly in his mind about how his powers are suddenly in sync with what he needs. eunchae is standing in the corner and actively hacking the simulation with her technology manipulation so none of the blocks even dare touch her. chaewon is repeating don’t trip like a mantra in her mind. you learn to dodge left, sidestep right, and throw up a telekinetic shove if a block or person gets too close.

and out of the corner of your eye, you can always see han dongmin.

his reflexes are good - infuriatingly so. he’s always moving right before a block appears, like he can sense them coming. he hasn’t even broken a sweat.

tired? he projects mockingly, i can feel your mental signal around the entire room. 

he dodges three blocks in rapid succession, spinning into another corner.

not even close, you hiss.

well, i could do this all day, he drags out his vowels. really emphasising how much of a walk in the park this is. fucking loser.

ooh, touch a nerve? you can hear his grin through his taunt, scared you’ll lose first?

you elect to ignore his idiotic comments and watch his pattern instead. he favours moving to his right, and he’s cocky enough that he’s not paying attention to the students around him, just the blocks falling from the sky or blooming from below.

i’ve got you, han dongmin.

a block spawns to dongmin’s left. he moves right - exactly as you predicted. you reach out with your telekinesis and give the block a little extra push, changing its trajectory as it falls down. the block trails after him, moving horizontally in his direction.

hey! dongmin’s angry voice fills your mind as he ungracefully swerves and dives forward to avoid getting hit. that’s cheating!

it’s tactics! you shoot back gleefully.

students start to drop like flies.

“ten left!”

the blocks are spawning faster now, more unpredictably. you’re breathing harder now, and there’s less minds to see through. you’re splitting your focus between survival and sabotage - specifically just sabotaging dongmin. every time he dodges, you’re there. every time he telekinetically pushes a block away, you’re there. every time he telepathically tries to reach out, you’re there.

you’re really committed to this.

dongmin’s annoyance is palpable as he barely avoids two block you definitely redirected at him

i said i’d get you!

bad news then! you’re going to have to try harder!

he retaliates by telekinetically shoving you backwards towards a spawning block. you immediately throw up a telekinetic barrier and the block bounces off your shield, nearly hitting kazuha - who disintegrates it into ash just in time.

“sorry!” you yell.

“if you could stop flirting!” kazuha suggests before rolling away.

“i wasn’t -!” you gape, side stepping a block that solidly blocks kazuha from your view, effectively ending your attempt at a debate.

flirting? dongmin’s mental voice is amused, is this what this is? do you talk to your squadmates about us?

i’m going to kill you.

aw, is that our version of i love you?

another three students get eliminated in quick succession. woonhak gets eliminated with a dramatic noooooo as he finds himself stuck between two blocks. eunchae screams as someone bumps into her and distracts her long enough for a block to squarely fall onto the both of them. the arena is getting so crowded with blocks spawning so fast there’s barely room to move.

“seven left!”

you’re starting to tire. maintaining telekinetic control is draining your mental reserves faster than you’d like, even after giving up those telepathic connections. but you’re not stopping here, not when dongmin is still standing. you could come second, but it’s only if han dongmin isn’t first.

students get tagged one by one. chaewon gets shoved into a wall by another student and is immediately shot into the sky by a block and kazuha doesn’t manage to dodge a series of unfortunately timed blocks. meanwhile, dongmin is starting to look panicked too, eyes wide as he flips away from a block in the nick of time.

“three left!”

you. dongmin. yunjin.

you lock eyes with dongmin. he smirks at you. yunjin eyes dart between you two and she sighs in defeat.

“screw this. i hate you two.”

she steps directly into the trajectory of a falling block, eliminating herself from the competition.

“two left!” sakura calls.

looks like it’s just you and me, partner, he teases.

don’t ever call me that. it’s disgusting, you hiss.

a block drops directly above. you sense it fast enough and dodge it - straight into dongmin’s path. you smack into him, hard, and suddenly you’re both scrambling as blocks spawn around you in rapid succession.

move left! he projects urgently.

you move left! you yell back.

the two of you both dodge left in perfect synchronisation, narrowly avoiding two blocks that would’ve eliminated you both. for a moment, dongmin is pressed into your side, surrounded by falling blocks and rising squares.

this is all your fault, he notes.

screw you! you shove him into the trajectory of a falling block as you stand back up straight.

hey, that wasn’t very nice, he tuts as you wrench yourself away from him.

you spot your opening: three blocks about to spawn in sequence, creating a perfect trap if you time it just right. you wait until dongmin has a split moment of nonreaction and telekinetically implant a suggestion of a block spawning behind him - 

he jerks forward, right into the path of the actual blocks.

but he realises your trick far too quickly for your liking.

the first one drops, and he rolls smoothly under it.

the second one shoots up from the floor. he jumps, easily hurdling over it.

the third one descends, and he looks like he’s about to clear it until -

you push out a hand, and dongmin’s eyes widen as you telekinetically shove him back, straight into the shadow of the box. then, you feel his telekinesis wrap around you and suddenly you’re being yanked forward, straight into his -

ew, ew, ew! you mentally scream. get your filthy hands off me!

dongmin’s arms only tighten around you as the two of you tumble onto the floor. the block slams down with a force of a thousand suns, and you let out loud oof! as you feel dongmin’s entire weight and more crush down onto you, his arms braced around your head as the block disappears behind his head in a flash of light and the simulation powers down. his breath is warm against your neck. for a second, you didn’t move; for a second, neither did he.

“first place, [y/n] [l/n]. second, han dongmin. third, huh yunjin. good work, everyone,” sakura’s polite and carefully placid voice rings out from the intercom. you can hear yunjin gleefully scream kiss, kiss, kiss! through both your mental link and the background of the intercom. eunchae updates you with a quirk in her voice.

so glad i invested early in the poll. it’s at sixty-three percent now.

what poll? you say a little too quickly and harshly.

whether you and dongmin will get together by the end of the school term? eunchae says innocently.

what?!

i mean - if it helps, twenty one percent think you’ll kill each other, and the rest think somehow both will happen.

i voted for all three, yunjin sounds like she’s crying with how hard she’s laughing. i’m getting a cash out either way!

then there better be a poll on whether our squad will break up, too!

you throw dongmin off of you unceremoniously as you jump to your feet.

“a little thank you would be nice? i got you first place, you know? even though you cheated. which, by the way, is extremely typical for you.”

you look down at dongmin, red hair messy from the exercise as it droops down into his eyes. his chest heaves up and down in exhaustion.

“i didn’t ask for you to do that,” you hiss, “so i’m not going to thank you.”

what use was first place when you didn’t even beat dongmin on your own terms? you have to look into how to stop involuntary movement because of telekinesis after this.

you stomp away, hellbent on shutting down eunchae’s betting pool and getting to the library before dongmin can check out all the books you wanted and not return them for two weeks like he did last time.

see you friday, dongmin’s presence is still in your head, as it always is. detention, remember?

unfortunately.

you tap your foot against the floor as you wait for the danger room’s security protocol to power down so you can open the door and get out of this hell hole.

you love it. you love me.

in your dreams, han dongmin. i hate you.

must be a dream then, he replies far too cheerfully for your liking. because i think i heard you say in your head once how good-looking i -

you cut the connection before he could finish that sentence, cheeks burning, but your head still hums with the echo of his presence - like a song you couldn’t shake. annoying, persistent, ever-present.

WEEK TWO, FRIDAY (5PM): X-MANSION LIBRARY

“since you’re both telekinetics,” sungho raises an eyebrow, “you can start with organising all of these books.”

he points to the whole trolley of books before him. you nod - easy peasy, you’ll get them on the shelves and then get the hell out of here. a second longer spent with han dongmin is a second longer spent in hell.

you more or less snatch the list of books from sungho and gestures for dongmin to take the trolley.

“you push, i sort,” you bark, already scanning the list. someone seems to have taken out the entire history of the mutantkind section of the library.

“i’m not going to take orders from you,” dongmin crosses his arms.

“just do it,” you hiss.

“nope,” he has the gall to turn his head away and pretend he doesn’t hear you.

“han dongmin -!”

you surge forward and yank his collar towards you as he lets out a squeak at the sudden action. sungho’s polite cough stops you from chucking dongmin out the window of the 3rd floor library through sheer will and a little help from telekinesis.

“i would suggest starting soon if you want to be completed before nightfall,” sungho’s eyes shift between you two, “and a word of advice - keep romance out of professional relationships.”

“romance?” you splutter. dongmin’s collar is gripped in your fist as the two of you whip around to look at sungho.

“right, because this -” dongmin points between the two of you, “is the definition of romance.”

“i would rather die than consider dongmin a rom - roman - ugh, i can’t even say it!” you let dongmin fall to the ground as you release your hold on his collar. he lets out a soft ouch! when his bum hits the floor, and you step quickly away like he has the plague.

“besides, you’re one to talk about romance in working relationships,” dongmin raises an eyebrow at sungho, who chokes on air and coughs loudly into his fist.

“that’s different,” he argues weakly.

“you’ve been thinking about her ever since she arrived!” you accuse, “we’ve been listening to sungho: the sad emo playlist this entire week.”

“i’m just worried about her!” sungho defends, before his eyes widen, “stop distracting me! go do your work!”

he stomps away, the most flustered you’ve ever seen him, and settles into the corner of the library, book in hand. when you prod his mind you can hear him muttering about kids these days and touring and leaving -

“and keep out of my head,” sungho warns, mental shields slamming up so hard it gives you physical whiplash, jerking your head backwards. dongmin snickers and you glare at him.

“okay, fine,” you mutter, turning back to read the list - if only dongmin hadn’t pulled it out of your grasp before you can.

“i’m better at memorisation,” dongmin angles his chin up at you, “so i’ll do the list.”

“so does that mean you admit i’m the better telekinetic?” you raise an eyebrow at him.

“not exactly - i still think you suck,” dongmin snipes back, “just that your telekinesis is better than your goldfish memory.”

you snort, “says the person who can’t even remember our conversation from two days ago - hey!”

your conversation is interrupted by dongmin telekinetically shoving the trolley into your knees, you stumble and dongmin doubles over laughs, as if nearly crippling you was the funniest thing in the world.

“oh, come on. it was a light tap, don’t be so dramatic,” dongmin gives one last laugh as you shove the trolley away from you.

“congrats on learning an elementary skill,” you say, irritated.

“just get moving,” dongmin rolls up the list and smacks you on the head with it.

sungho shakes his head and mutters to himself, “kids these days. all they do is bicker.”

he watches you make a book whack dongmin in the back of his head before landing on a shelf.

“why does this damn library have so many shelves?”

you troop through the library, finally complete with the history section. 

dongmin raises an eyebrow, “you tired?”

“never,” you say snidely, even though the repetitive telekinetic movements are making you sleepy and the heater blasting doesn’t help.

“i can feel your mental signature going haywire,” dongmin points out, “and you put the last three books in the wrong order.”

you watch as the three books reshuffle themselves on the shelf behind dongmin and you frown.

“must’ve been your fault for reading the list wrong,” you grumble, folding your ankles over each other and leaning against the bookshelf.

“now, no need to lie to cover up your mistakes,” dongmin offers a wry smile, “but for the sake of your dignity, i will accept it as my fault.”

you watch as he scans the list again with his brown eyes.

“can you stop doing that?” you say, your sentence tinged with anger.

dongmin stops and sighs, “what is it?”

“you’re always letting me get away with things,” you count on your fingers, “last semester’s volleyball match, professor kwon’s internship, the whack-a-mole from this week, now.”

you grumble, “stop going easy on me. i want to feel the satisfaction of crushing you fair and square, like the crunch of a bug under my shoe.”

dongmin raises an eyebrow, “and here i thought you cared about me. you’ve picked a very weird thing to be angry about.”

“even if you were the last person on earth, han dongmin, i would not give a flying fuck about you!”

“that’s not what you said when we did the civilian saving simulation,” he raises the pitch of his voice, “you were all like ‘oh my god, dongmin, are you okay? do you need help? stay with me - dongmin!’”

you respond to him with a book to his forehead. the smack echoes between the shelves.

“shut up,” you hiss, cheeks burning, “i was acting - for the grade! you were a civilian - and a very bad one at that! couldn’t stop squirming.”

dongmin peels the book off his face, grinning like a cat that got the cream, “okay, little miss actress, you deserve an award or something. very convincing.”

“i’ll kill you, han dongmin,” you hiss.

“that’s my girl,” dongmin says, almost proudly.

you were going to do it. one day - you were really going to kill him.

WEEK TWO, SATURDAY (12PM): SQUAD HQ

“okay party people!”

all of you jump when chaewon suddenly slaps her ruler against the whiteboard, eunchae squeaks and nearly drops her phone.

“listen up! the intersquad comps are next week and we need to place at least top three,” chaewon bristles.

“but we’re seventh,” kazuha points out, “that’s like, second to last place.”

“i know,” chaewon emphasises, “which is why we need to put our best foot forward and beat everyone.”

“i don’t think we got this,” yunjin shakes her head.

“i had eunchae crunch some numbers, and all we need is to at least get into finals and avoid this,” she points her ruler at the word scribbled at the top of the whiteboard.

“losing?” you supply helpfully.

“exactly,” chaewon affirms with a satisfied nod.

“easier said than done,” yunjin mumbles.

“i had eunchae run a simulation -”

“did you make eunchae do everything?”

“not right now - [y/n],” chaewon glares at you, “what i was going to say - losing is bad. but there’s one thing worse than it.”

she tears away the paper from the whiteboard.

“enhypen?” yunjin gasps, slightly horrified.

“losing enhypen?” kazuha stops, “wait - we’re not killing them, are we?”

“no, no, no,” chaewon slaps her ruler against the whiteboard, “what i meant was - losing to enhypen.”

the marker makes a squeak when she hastily adds on the word.

“should’ve thought of adding that earlier,” eunchae quips.

“okay, let’s never speak of this again,” chaewon says gravely, “point is - enhypen is ranked first in squad rankings right now. if we can beat them, then we’ll gain enough points to at least secure a top five ranking. it’s not ideal, but it’s good.”

“eunchae, pull up the brackets,” chaewon nods at eunchae, who dutifully projects the bracket onto the whiteboard. you track your squad name - if all goes to plan, you would meet enhypen at the semi-finals.

you scan the brackets for team koz - seeded on the opposite side, so that means…

“we’re going to the finals,” you say abruptly, far too quickly and rushed.

“girl, what? do you know how hard - ohhh, you wanna beat dongmin, huh?” yunjin grins.

you cough, “no! yes? what i mean is - we need to get a good score!”

“it doesn’t matter!” chaewon interrupts, “everyone, we all need to be more [y/n]! eyes on prize! understood?”

kazuha parrots a yes while yunjin grins at you from across the circle.

you like him, admit it, she projects into your mind.

yunjin, you’re actually insane.

the people have spoken, eunchae cuts in. the kiss poll is at seventy two percent now. someone said they saw you kissing in the library during detention.

what? you say incredulously, nothing like that happened!

you can keep your secrets from us, yunjin says sagely, but we’ll find out eventually.

there’s nothing to keep secret! you fume.

“okay, people having a telepathic conversation while being in the same room!” chaewon flicks both of you in the forehead with her ruler and you wince, “before we think about crushing dongmin and team koz’s ass, we gotta deal with enhypen first.”

she points at the crude diagram she’s scribbled onto the whiteboard, “from eunchae and i’s analysis, their center is also their leader - heeseung. get rid of him and the rest of the team will crumble.”

“mostly from my analysis!” eunchae chimes.

“ignore her. point is, we need to get rid of him first - and fast.”

chaewon nods at eunchae again, and you watch as the projection flickers to a breakdown of team enhypen.

“he’s a level three telepath. not too strong, but their glue,” chaewon taps on heeseung’s profile and turns to look at you, “thankfully, we have a level five telepath. you’ll be able to take him down, right?”

"i can do that,” you crack your knuckles.

“good! always up for a challenge!” chaewon slaps her ruler against her palm and all if you jump again, "and that’s why [y/n] has the highest combat score out of all of us!”

"okay, question?” kazuha holds up a finger, "they’ve got, like, two whole years of experience on us. how are we supposed to deal with that?”

“it doesn’t matter, we’ll catch up,” chaewon pulls out her phone and your own buzzes, “eunchae and i have collected and analysed their previous plays. you all need to get familiar with them.”

you pull out your phone and - 

“this is a five hour long video?” kazuha says, incredulousness and amazement mixed into a question.

“i’ll watch all of it,” you say immediately.

“amazing! that’s why you’re my favourite!” chaewon turns her gaze onto the other members of the team as yunjin lets out a quiet i thought i was your favourite…?

“so here’s the deal, they seem to favour the jjj approach - opening with jake, jay, and jungwon. they’re strong because they work together, and the key to that is heeseung, so its impertinent we take him out first. yunjin, you’re in charge of teleporting [y/n] close enough to heeseung so she can work her magic. eunchae and i will work on breaking through the triple j formation and kazuha - go burn sunghoon to a crisp or something.”

"why does it sound like we’re going to kill them?” kazuha whispers.

"we’ll do whatever we need to win,” chaewon sighs and places a reassuring hand on kazuha’s shoulder, as if losing enhypen was some kind of necessary evil.

"we’re so screwed,” yunjin sighs.

WEEK THREE, TUESDAY (2PM): THE QUAD

you’re glued to the screen of your tablet, your salad drooping from your fork as you watch, for the twentieth time, the five hour compilation of enhypen when chaewon suddenly slams it down.

"hey! i was watching -” you protest, indignant.

it’s them! enhypen! chaewon hisses through your mental link.

speak of the devil, eunchae wryly adds.

you twist and see them saunter onto the quad. all seven of them move with this effortless coordination that’s honestly annoying. heeseung is at the front, saying something that makes sunoo laugh. they all look infuriatingly confident - extremely high and mighty. it makes you want to shove them through a car wash.

stop staring. i know you’ve got a thing for red-haired telepaths but now is not the time, chaewon tuts.

what? i’m analysing.

no, you’re totally glaring, yunjin correct, there’s a difference.

i’m engaging in tactical observation!

you’re doing something, kazuha finally says, ending the conversation effectively.

heeseung must have felt your gaze, because he glances over at you. for a second, your eyes meet, and he has the audacity to smirk and raise his fingers in a mock salute.

you crush kazuha’s fork with your telekinesis.

“i was using that,” kazuha whispers sadly, staring helplessly at her bowl of spaghetti.

you’re staring, dongmin’s voice suddenly appears in your head, and you realise he’s sitting three tables over with the rest of his squad, watching you with something indescribable in his eyes.

why is everyone saying that? you let out a frustrated groan. i’m analysing! observing!

you’ve been obsessing over heeseung this entire weekend. it was like listening to a radio that’s broken and won’t stop repeating.

i am not obsessing! he’s the key to beating enhypen!

sure he is.

what’s that supposed to mean?

nothing. just interesting you’re focusing on him specifically.

you turn around to glare at dongmin. he waves cheerfully, as he always does, but his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“staring at me?”

you nearly jump out of your skin when heeseung’s voice tickles your ear.

“how many times do i have to say it? i wasn’t!” you hiss, pushing yourself back into kazuha’s figure.

“sure, you weren’t,” heeseung straightens up, his red hair flopping into his eyes as he flashes a sweet smile at you, “but i’ve been watching you.”

you narrow your eyes.

“level 5 telepath. you’re good at what you do.” 

you don’t like how he sounds genuinely impressed.

“which is good -” jake cuts in, “because we prefer opponents who actually put up a fight. makes it more interesting when we win.”

“when?” you raise an eyebrow, “that’s pretty confident for someone who hasn’t even faced us yet.”

“we’ve faced plenty,” sunghoon snipes, “you’re not special.”

“what?” you stand up and all seven of them take a cautious, coordinated step backwards, “you know what? maybe we will be!”

heeseung leans slightly closer, breaking from formation, and you notice his eyes are actually quite striking up close - sharp and intense.

"what about this? you manage to stand for more than five minutes against us, i’ll save you a dance at the winter ball. call it a consolation prize.”

"resorting to extortion to get a date to the winter ball. no wonder no one wants to go with you!” you ball hands into fists at his smug smile, resisting the urge to fling him into the sun through sheer will and perfectly honed skill. chaewon and yunjin exchange glances from across the table.

should we stop them? you can hear them faintly converse at the back of your head.

nah, this is funny. yunjin replies.

“scared that you wouldn’t make it pass five?” jay raises an eyebrow, "besides, heeseung has plenty of people lining up to take him to the winter ball! he’s just likes -”

heeseung elbows jay in the stomach and shushes him.

“you people are ridiculous,” you sigh loudly and shake your head, “when we win, you all can apologise, right here in the cafeteria during lunch break - loudly - so everyone can hear.”

“deal,” heeseung’s smirk widens, “looking forward to it.”

then enhypen just moves on, leaving in synchronisation as they turn on a heel and stroll away, leaving your entire table staring at you.

you project, and faintly hear their conversation through their mental links.

are we really doing that if we lose though? sunghoon whispers.

we won’t, heeseung sounds as confident as he does when speaking.

heeseung just wants that date, jungwon teases, and you block out the rest of that conversation faster than eunchae can say hippopotamus.

“[y/n]? my darling? do we want to sit down?” chaewon says carefully, as if every word could trigger a landmine.

you sit down forcefully and the entire table shakes. kazuha shakes her head.

“this is what school is made for,” yunjin grins happily, looking between you and heeseung’s departing figure, “what a time to be alive.”

“i hate this school,” you mumble, picking up your fork.

“heeseung just totally bet on your failure and asked you out.” eunchae quips.

"he didn’t ask me out, he made a threat,” you grumble, "underestimated us. thought he could crush us easily. that five minutes was a mercy. i’m going to destroy them.”

“i don’t know - dongmin just exploded his juice box with his mind,” yunjin points a discreet finger over her shoulder.

you glance over at dongmin’s table, and for the first time in a while he’s very deliberately not looking at you. a juice box that looks like it’s been run over ten times by a tank lies abandoned on the table as he talks to donghyun and his pet mouse about something with exaggerated animation. 

“what did he do all that for?” you cock your head, and kazuha just sighs and shakes her head.

“hey,” yunjin interrupts cheerfully, “what’s the betting poll at now?”

“seventy eight percent for kiss,” eunchae announces, “and a new category just emerged - [y/n] and heeseung get together. that one has eight percent.”

“eight? everyone really has their thumb on the pulse,” kazuha makes a thoughtful observation, like she’s analysing stock prices instead of your literal fate.

“that’s crazy, i hate this school,” you stand up abruptly, “i hate everyone here. i’m going to the danger room - to train.”

“oooh, perhaps a training session with whomst?” yunjin calls after you. you flip her off without looking back.

“twenty dollars that dongmin runs after her in less than ten minutes?” yunjin suggests.

“make it twenty-five,” eunchae replies.

“done. let’s shake on it.”

all you can do is sigh.

you’ve been in the danger room for at least ten minutes by now. you know there are 2384 tiles on the ceiling and your feet slightly hurt from the massive amount of the pacing you’ve done. you’ve just activated a simulation of enhypen to practice against when you feel dongmin’s familiar presence at the edge of your mind.

you made jungwon too tall. his voice chimes in your head, and you turn around to see him casually standing at the doorway of the danger room, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.

i hate you. you say half-heartedly - it might as well be your version of hello.

the insults are a little unenthusiastic today. he notes.

what are you doing here? you hate the danger room. you shoot back, says it’s too quiet yet loud at the same time. whatever that means.

maybe i’m branching out. personal growth and all that.

the door clicks quietly shut behind him as he steps into the danger room.

you scoff, “you can’t lie to me.”

you point to your temple, where dongmin’s thoughts are always a subtle background noise to your life - ever since you two accidentally linked up in the first class of introduction to telepathy.

“you’re here about the heeseung thing, aren’t you?”

“that’s just a concerning sideplot,” he holds up his tablet, littered with notes on his next opponents, “i also wanted to use the danger room.”

you walk towards him, “well. you’ll be glad to hear that there isn’t a heeseung thing.”

“but he asked you out - to the winter ball,” dongmin says flatly.

“he asked to get his ass kicked, that’s what,” you reply humourlessly.

“but you smiled at him,” dongmin falters, “and you never smile at anyone.”

“i did not smile at him! and i smile at a ton of people!”

“you smiled at him!” dongmin insists, “and you only smile at your friends! not at people you’re about to compete against.”

he steps closer, and you don't need telepathy to feel his frustration bleeding through, “why him?”

“dongmin - you’re acting a little insecure now,” you laugh nervously, “why do you even care?”

“because -” he stops and presses his hand over his face in that way he does when he’s stressed or agitated, hiding the way his nose scrunches up, “because you’re supposed to be focused on training. on the competition. not on lee heeseung.”

you fold your hands over your chest, “i was literally just studying his combat style!”

“you’re obsessed with him.”

“i’m not!”

the door rattles in its doorframe behind dongmin’s figure.

“really? because from where i’m standing, you haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. you’ve been mentioning him constantly these few days. you light up when someone says his name -”

“i do not light up!”

“your shields drop,” dongmin says quietly, “every time. like you keep forgetting to maintain them because you’re too busy thinking about him.”

“i -” you sigh loudly, of course you’ve been slipping - chaewon runs 6 am practice like it’s the army and lee heeseung’s name has become your own personal hell. you’ve barely gotten any sleep. all because you needed to beat… him.

“he’s the obstacle between me beating you,” you finally admit, “that’s why i’m focused on him so much. if i want to face you, i have to get rid of him. you’re my end goal.”

dongmin immediately shifts his eyes up to look at you, “i’m your end goal?”

“i want to beat you,” you mumble, “i know - you’re gonna crush the competition on your side. and i - i want to face you properly. not in practice or whatever - but in an actual competition.”

dongmin sniffs, “i don’t like you, [y/n] [l/n].”

“trust me, the feeling’s mutual,” you say bluntly.

“so i’ll beat you at the finals,” he says carefully, “which means you have to beat enhypen first. which means you need to take down heeseung.”

he nods - and then his whole expression shifts, like a lightbulb just went off.

“and does that mean -” he shifts on his feet, “you’ve been thinking about me this whole time?”

“because i’ve been thinking a lot about you too,” he adds quietly.

“i - i’m only thinking about you because i need to beat you!” you stutter through your excuse, cheeks burning up at his admission.

“beating me? we’ll see about that,” dongmin gives you a strained smile, a semblance of the ones he was used to giving you, “and if - if heeseung wants to take you to the winter ball or whatever. that’s fine - whatever, your choice.”

“are you je -”

“and no matter what happens,” he interrupts, growing louder, “i’m not going to go easy on you.”

“i wouldn’t want you to.”

“good,” he starts to pull away, then stops, “and for the record? i think you’re better than heeseung, and you should’ve asked him for something more embarrassing as his punishment. don’t let him get into your head.”

“you talk like we’re going to win.”

“i know you will,” he says wholeheartedly, like he’s seen your victory foretold in a prophecy that came to him in a dream.

“good. you better not mess up, too. if you lose, your punishment is taking me to the winter ball, and i know you’d hate that.”

dongmin shudders as he backs out of the danger room, “i would hate that.”

the door slides shut, and your phone buzzes in your pocket.

yunjin: eunchae owes me 25. he ran after you after nine minutes. i timed.

eunchae: this sucks :( i hate that loverboy

WEEK THREE, WEDNESDAY (3PM): DANGER ROOM

the room crackles with energy as your squad faces off against the first team. they’re new - inexperienced, and don't know each other well enough yet. you’re supposed to be focused on trying out your new formation, but your mind keeps drifting to whatever made you say all that to dongmin.

guys, yunjin chuckles nervously, reminder that our thoughts are still on mic here.

special reminder to [y/n]! chaewon pipes and you scrub every thought of dongmin from your mind.

i’m focused! you insist, dodging a laser beam from the opposing team. you grab a fallen down tree with your telekinesis and throw it in the general direction the shot came from - they go down with a squeak and the log splinters with more force than necessary.

“save the aggro for next monday!” kazuha calls out as she easily turns someone’s weapon into ash.

the rest of the match goes as expected - you down all the other members of the team without losing a single one of your own. chaewon allows approximately 5 seconds of celebration before snapping you all back into formation and running drill after drill. eunchae is analysing enhypen’s strategies frame by frame. kazuha perfects her disintegration timing. yunjin is practising her blinking down to the second. by sunday, you’re exhausted - but ready.

WEEK FOUR, MONDAY (10AM): DANGER ROOM

chaewon had you up bright and early, and that’s how all of you ended up tired, cranky, and ready to beat enhypen’s ass on the danger room floor.

“they brought their breakfast,” eunchae whispers, casting a look to where jake is chowing down on a grilled cheese ten minutes before the match starts, “i’m so freaking hungry, man.”

“guys,” you snap your fingers, “this is psychological warfare. we just need to stay strong and beat their asses - the faster we do it the earlier we break for lunch.”

“lunch? what are we having for lunch?” kazuha mumbles through a hunger-crazed daze.

“stop thinking about lunch!” chaewon slaps kazuha on the back and she startles, “[y/n]’s right - the faster we beat them, the sooner we can eat.”

you take a deep breath in. this was it. the semi-finals. dongmin and the rest of his squad had smashed through their side of the competition like it was as easy as breathing. now - you’re one step away from the finals - one step away from facing dongmin and the rest of team koz in the finals. the thought sent a flutter through your chest that you tried to ignore.

“focus, ladies,” you say as steady as you can. you’re unsure if you’re saying it more to you than the rest of your squad.

“i was born ready,” yunjin jumps to her feet and cracks her knuckles, "let’s show those losers what we’re made of.”

the doors to the arena open as the rest of the students file onto the observation deck. chaewon grabs your shoulder and the five of you huddle for chaewon’s most threatening pep talk yet.

“remember - heeseung first. take out their center and everything falls apart. we all know the formation, alright?”

all of you nod in understanding and chaewon smiles cheekily, “let’s go out there and crush them!”

you all cheer just as enhypen lets out their own - it sounds like a bark that chimes the beginning of your end.

guys, don’t be nervous, kazuha thinly laughs. 

you can feel dongmin’s stare even from the danger room floor, his presence pulses softly just outside of your mind’s space. you look up but all you can see behind the tinted glass is sungho, sakura, the professor, and indiscriminate faces.

you turn around and enhypen is already positioned, arranged in their signature jjj formation - as predicted, the three of them are planted up front like a living wall. heeseung stood behind them, calm and collected, a confident smile already in place.

you lock eyes with him across the arena and he tilts his head. you resist the urge to flip him off and have to physically clench your fists.

“welcome to the semi-finals! on the left - team le sserafim! on the right - team enhypen! whoever wins will be moving onto the finals, facing off team koz,” sakura leans into the mic, “fight to the death, last one standing wins for their entire team.”

the environment around you changes into quadrants - a lake, a forest, mountains, and just a plain open field.

sakura’s voice rings through the danger room - “best of luck to both teams! three, two, one - begin!”

all of you spring into action immediately. jungwon speeds past all of you in a flash but chaewon reacts quick enough to throw up a force field and jungwon smacks squarely into it, groaning as he stumbles. chaewon capitalises on it and engages with him in a battle of reaction and speed.

fan out! chaewon yells through the link. eunchae dodges a fireball from jake as kazuha returns her own, singeing the top of sunghoon’s hair just as they duck behind a boulder.

yunjin! you project urgently.

right beside you! she blinks in next to you, grabbing your arm and immediately blinking again. the two of you fall through space and time before suddenly reappearing in heeseung’s bubble. he stumbles back, shocked, but quickly regains his footing.

“hi!” you say cheerfully, you telekinetically pull a sizzling log (courtesy of either jake or kazuha, who knows) towards you and nearly taking out heeseung from behind. he, infuriating, evades and spins like he saw it coming from a mile away, the log smacking uselessly into the side of the arena.

“hey, you,” he replies, smiling as well.

you frown at his laissez faire attitude and direct a psi-blast towards him, which he parries easily with one of his own.

“impressive. dongmin did mention you were good.”

“he said what?” you slow for a second and heeseung uses that opportunity to launch himself into your mind.

you slam your shields up and he is immediately ejected from your head. frantically, you telekinetically send him backwards with a shove. he manages to catch himself before he touches the water, regaining his footing as he directs a psi-blast that hits you squarely in the middle of the temple. in your dizziness, you hear faintly about how sunoo has eunchae stuck on the ceiling; yunjin is laughing about how ni-ki can’t catch her; and chaewon has confined poor jungwon to an invisible box in a corner of the arena so it looks like he’s doing the world’s most realistic pantomime.

“distracted?” heeseung arches an eyebrow as he dusts himself off.

“you wish!” you yell.

"he said you were weak to force,” heeseung narrows his eyes, "let’s see if he was right.”

you feel all of heeseung’s telepathic strength smash into you. for a moment, his mind melds with yours. you can hear the shouted commands between his team - jumbled up with the yells of your own team. his own thoughts invade your own. but he’s predictable - you’ve studied how to break through such an attack easily. you concentrate your thoughts onto a singular thought - heeseung’s thinking about ramen somewhere in his mind, and you slam onto it. the temporary control he has over your mind breaks and the two of you break apart - each clutching at your heads.

"that - that was unprecedented," heeseung picks himself up.

"i’ve got a lot more where that came from,” you wipe your sweat from your face and dodge just in time to evade heeseung’s prod, his speed creating a breeze that flutters against your cheek.

you react quickly, bringing a boot down against his back as you round onto him. he catches it and easily tosses you into the sand. you’ve dealt with this in one of chaewon’s drills - roll and jump, hit them if you can.

you roll away from his approaching feet and jump to your feet, sending a psi-blast at the same time that catches heeseung by surprise and nicks him in the chin. 

rock incoming! yunjin projects urgently into your head.

you spin around and duck just in time as jay throws a rock at you with a yell. you telekinetically send it back and jay’s figure disappears behind it with an equally loud scream, landing with a splat against the wall.

“five minutes on the board!” sakura’s voice rings.

heeseung’s expression hardens. he’s moving faster now, more aggressive. you feel his telepathy signal wrap around your’s, searching for weaknesses and trying to worm his way in.

heeseung was strong, but he was also someone you could predict. he moved slower when thinking, overcommitted to his offenses, and relied on the rest of his teammates to feed him information from other perspectives.

maintain your shields, never force entry into a guarded mind, and always have an exit strategy.

heeseung was guarded, but his shields weren’t perfect. you slither in with a pinpointed strike, narrowing your eyes. heeseung startles as your signal suddenly floods in and overrides his own and he feels the world go silent.

you - you closed off my links! you can feel his telepathy trying to push through yours - but you’ve been trialed against dongmin, who has a battering ram in the form of telepathy (so unrefined, you always tutted). heeseung’s pushes feel more like feather kisses than the torment dongmin put you through. 

out of the corner of your eye, you see sunghoon look around for heeseung in confusion, hesitant enough for kazuha - wonderful, brilliant kazuha to immediately capitalise on the situation and launch him into the ceiling next to eunchae (still stuck) with a fire bolt.

i got him! kazuha yells triumphantly in your mind.

enhypen links down! you report back, just as heeseung manages to hit you in the jaw.

“hey!” you direct another psi-blast at him and he folds into himself from the pain as it lands against his forehead.

“you really don’t hold back,” he hisses through gritted teeth.

[y/n] - behind! chaewon urgently cuts through and you spin to see jake charging at you with a flaming fist. you jump backwards and immediately project yourself into his mind.

what dur? you hear his mental voice echo inside your brain as you rifle through his thoughts. methodical and precise. one strike and he’s over. you pick through his memories, rearranging the last few minutes in a different order. as you retreat back into your own body you see jake slow in his footsteps and turn around in confusion, his flames puckering out with a sigh.

“wait - what’s happening -?” he gets cut off by yunjin blinking in, delivering a swift punch that knocks him out for good.

heeseung tries to take your feet out from behind you but you see it coming - pivoting and dodging, grabbing him telekinetically and sending him straight into the air. the force sends him sprawling and he lands in the lake with a soft plop and sigh. his hair flops sadly as he emerges in the shallow end and spits out water.

the moment he hits the water, it was over.

“enhypen, eliminated!” sakura’s voice booms, “advancing to finals - squad le sserafim!”

your squad erupts into celebration. chaewon and kazuha grab you and the three of you go down, while yunjin manages to catch eunchae as she is freed from her gravitic prison, blinking to the floor as they join the rest of you in a pile on the floor. 

yunjin catches your eye and grins, squeezing your arm, “so, ready to beat dongmin?”

you feel your cheeks warm, “it’s not just him -”

“it’s the rest of team koz too!” chaewon whoops, “and we’ll beat their asses!”

“exactly!”

sakura’s announcement cuts off the next of yunjin’s teasing comments: “the final match will take place friday at 2pm. team le sserafim versus team koz.”

guess i owe you an apology. heeseung’s voice slides into your brain. you catch his eye over kazuha’s shoulder and he smiles at you.

you sure do, you project back, and remember to be loud.

you’ll hear it. he says off-handedly.

nice work - someone else rings inside your head. 

you gave heeseung info about me! you accuse. you can see dongmin’s innocent blinking in your head.

he was quite interested in you, dongmin says - a hint of dissatisfaction in his voice. i said i wouldn’t make it easy for you.

and that includes tipping off my enemy? 

an enemy of an enemy is a friend. dongmin retorts. but i wouldn’t call him one. i just wanted to make life more difficult for you.

i hate you.

do you?

yes! so you better be ready to take me to the winter ball. you bite.

only if you win. you can hear the smile in his voice.

WEEK FOUR, TUESDAY (1PM): DORM ROOM

you’re taking the best nap of your life after heeseung and crew loudly apologised in the form of a song and dance number when your local angsty soap opera on legs arrives.

i hate being back in this place - you hear her mumble in her head as she quite literally drifts past your door and into the library close by.

not again, you faintly hear dongmin groan through your mental link at the same time and you can’t help but prod further on what’s giving him so much woe.

sungho, you bastard. you can't keep your love life simple or your thoughts to yourself, you hear him tut.

must be in the library too, you think to yourself, settling against your pillows as you try out that new trick you learnt in telepathy class. you literally feel yourself detach from your body and float away, projecting your mind into the library.

“constantly," you manage to hear dongmin pop cheerfully to the singer, “especially -”

he suddenly locks eyes with your corporeal form and scowls.

“someone else is here,” he grumbles in annoyance, suddenly invested his ‘six ways to triumph in telepathy’ book that he’s cradling in his lap.

just because you can read doesn’t mean you can beat me and do this - you tease, and he shoots you a warning look.

at least i know how to use a psi-blast correctly, he snipes back.

popstar - in all her sparkly galore, looks around the library, straight through you.

"what?" she asks, confused. you don’t need telepathy to read her thoughts - it’s just us here.

“another telepath,” dongmin makes a sour face at you, “she can’t stop boasting about how she can project her mind into other spaces. it’s very annoying, because i can’t do that yet.”

you admit it! you say in delight.

oh, shut up. he replies grumpily.

he raises his voice intentionally, "i can feel you listening, you know? it’s very creepy - and annoying."

look at you, meddling in sungho’s love life because you don’t have one.

“no - you nosy little…”

i know donghyun has posters of her on his wall. oh my god, don’t tell me you do too. is this a secret crush?

“she’s not!”

oh, she sure is. does sungho know about this? poor sungho.

“can you stop being so annoying?”

mm, i don’t know. you’re the one who inserted yourself into their drama. i’d say you’re the annoying one here.

“no. you’re definitely the annoying one here -”

for someone who can’t project, you do have a lot of confidence. you say seriously and dongmin throws up his hands in defeat.

tell her to stop being dramatic and commit to something for once in her life.

“she says you need to ‘stop being dramatic and commit to something for once in your life’,” dongmin parrots after a slight pause.

"she said that?" she asks in disbelief.

"her words, not mine," dongmin holds up his hands in surrender as he shoots you a look, "you’re not being exactly subtle, you know?"

"does everyone in this mansion have an opinion on my relationship?" she grumbles.

"woonhak started a betting pool. but sungho busted it and said it was ‘inappropriate’," he grumbles before settling down in his armchair again.

ugh, don’t remind me. you cross your arms, sungho better close down all these betting pools. they have one for whether we’ll get together! gross.

i know, dongmin says, even though we hate each other.

exactly, you agree, i’m going to tell sungho after this.

you should, he says, flipping through the pages of his book. you look between him and the popstar, who - as per usual, is spiraling through a whirlwind of incoherent and melancholic thoughts.

she’s a mess, you shake your head.

no shit, dongmin grumbles.

tell her that being scared of saying something is just being scared of being known.

tell her yourself!

no, you!

no, you!

fine! you abruptly end your back and forth, maybe i will!

you whip around and stomp back through the walls to your dorm room a few rooms down, settling back in your body. it’s uncomfortable - no matter how many times you do it, it takes a million years to get used to your mind and body behind one again. it starts with a twitch of your fingers, then a numbness that overtakes your arm before a prickling sensation starts - your nerves firing again as you regain control over your limbs and muscles that leaves you slightly sore for a few minutes after.

except, that is what’s supposed to happen, but you suddenly register the power has gone out and an explosion rattles the walls so much it snaps you back into instant reunification and consciousness.

jesus christ - you nearly tip out of bed with the splitting headache you’re nursing as the walls shake again. 

the power is out. emergency lights flicker in a sickly red hue. alarms wail somewhere in the distance, muffled by the stone walls of your dorm room.

you wrench open the doors to the hallway and everyone is less panicked than you expected them to be, despite the pyjamas and mismatched shoes shoved on in a rush. 

west wing! safe room! you hear someone - sounds like heeseung, ring throughout your head - everyone head there!

“[y/n]!” you hear yunjin call, and you turn to see the rest of your team emerging from their rooms.

“what happened?” you demand to know, falling in step with them.

“not sure,” chaewon shakes her head and replies grimly, “the only info i have is that it’s an attack and we need to get to the safe room - they’ve got a power jammer and came in through the library.”

library. dongmin.

another explosion rocks the mansion - this one is close enough that dust starts to rain from the ceiling. you can hear the faint sound of gunfire and your blood runs cold.

“[y/n],” chaewon warns, “safe room, now.”

“but -”

“no buts,” chaewon cuts you off with the same authoritative tone she uses when calling plays during competitions - the one that means no negotiation.

but you’re already turning on your heel, you can feel something pulling at the edges of your mind - past the current drone of information shared by the telepathic network of the mansion.

dongmin!

without thinking, you reach out through your mental link. the response is almost immediate: a flash of urgency, determination, and something that reads like stay safe.

“[y/n]!” kazuha grabs your arm, but you telekinetically push her back - towards the west wing, and take off running down the hall.

i’ll catch up! you project urgently through your mental link before shutting it down immediately - before you hear chaewon’s screams for you to come back.

you round the corner and bump squarely in professor xavier and his gang of lost mutants.

“miss [l/n],” professor xavier inclines his head, “you should be in the safe room.”

“i have to find dongmin,” you say matter-of-factedly. you hear someone mutter in their thoughts that you’re crazy, and someone else clocks the fact for further proof for the poll.

“ah, mr. han,” the professor nods knowingly, “he is currently in the war room, accompanying sakura.”

“thank you,” you nod - he doesn’t even try to stop you, it’s like he can - well, he can read your thoughts.

professor xavier sighs and points down the corridor, “do try not to get yourself killed. it would be a shame to miss out on the finals tomorrow.”

you’re already moving before he finishes.

you swear you were trying to not get yourself killed.

“hands in the air!”

your arms shoot straight up when two soldiers happen upon you, guns trained to your chest as they draw in closer.

you narrow your eyes and feel around for their mental signal - guarded, but not incredibly so. unimpressive work from a shoddy telepath.

“telepath!” one of them realises as yells just as you charge in, shattering his shields - his grip on the gun falters as you force him to drop it, but the other presses a button on a small device in his hands that immediately ejects you from the soldier’s body.

they’ve got power jammers! you gasp, hoping hearing - anyone, could hear your thoughts through a weak mental link.

the soldier regains his senses and shakes his head - laser unwavering once again. 

“i’m not afraid to shoot,” he warns, “now take a step back and locate the popstar for us.”

[y/n]! dongmin’s voice floods your own, sounding more like static and broken up than his usually clear voice - where - you?

“i can’t really use my powers with the jammer you have on,” you say through gritted teeth and the two soldiers exchange glances.

“nice try, but you will do as we say,” the guards approach and your head spins as they near.

the cold barrel of the gun presses against your stomach as one of them nudges his rifle against it.

“hey,” you can’t hide the trembling in your voice as they force you into a wall, “this isn’t very nice.”

[y/n]! dongmin’s voice is barely a whisper in your head now, donghyun - over - help!

your brain is, for the first time since forever, silent, the only thing you can hear is dongmin’s faint pings and signals. you telekinetically reach for a piece of rubble behind the soldier but it barely moves, just vibrates slowly before stilling.

“that jammer of yours,” you try for calm - for prolonging the situation before they blow your guts out, “where d’ya get it?”

“wouldn’t you like to know,” the one holding it smirks and presents it proudly, “we’ve amassed quite the collection of mutants - including one that can put together any machine we ask. this baby? tailor made to react with the x-gene and dampen it.”

the other soldier elbows him in the stomach.

“stop talking, they’re just stalling!” they demand, before turning back to you in fury, pressing the barrel further into your flesh, “use your powers! i know you can! search for them -”

“buddy, i’ve never even met them before -” you interrupt, “how am i supposed to search for them? do you know how many people live in this damn mansion? one hundred and for -”

you’re cut off by a yell, then a dog that sails into your kerfuffle and cleanly bites the hand of the soldier holding the jammer. it clatters to the floor and bounces across the floor, before any of you can react, someone steps on it, heavily, and it cracks and shatters. you immediately feel what feels like thousands of voices flood back into your head as the jammer breaks and you take this split second of hesitation to telekinetically fling the soldier with his gun your stomach out the window.

“wha -” the other soldier wildly swinging his rifle as the dog latches onto it, playing the world’s most dangerous game of tug you’ve ever seen.

“down!” you hear someone yell, and the dog immediately lets go, sending the soldier stumbling with force of his own momentum. you see your saviour grab him by the shoulder, spin him around, and roundhouse kick him into the wall. the soldier crumples to the floor and goes limp, the rifle falling out of his hands.

“[y/n]?”

you can hear the worry lacing donghyun’s voice as he lowers his leg, clutching his fishbowl with a hand covered on top to prevent the dust from falling in and water from splashing.

“donghyun?” you choke out, “wha - what are you doing here?”

“dongmin sent me,” he shuffles on his feet, “are you okay?”

“i’m fine. you should be in the safe room, not listening to dongmin!”

“but - but i had to come to get my fish and my mouse,” he holds his fishbowl up gently and his pet mouse pops a furry snout out from his sleeve. you groan out loud.

“i don’t know who’s worse - you or your girlfriend!” you grumble.

“me, probably,” donghyun mumbles as his dog winds between his legs, urging him down the corridor.

“we should go before the east wing collapses,” he says, straightening up.

“but dongmin -”

[y/n]! dongmin’s voice is clear - and it’s laced with panic and terror, are you there?

i’m here. you confirm, donghyun found me.

good. dongmin sounds relieved.

were you worried about me?

you feel his hesitance over your mental link - … yes.

where are you? you demand.

war room. dongmin finally lets out.

stay there, i’m coming.

you turn to look at donghyun, who blinks at you.

“is something wrong?” he asks gently.

“yes, you,” you grumble.

professor, you tap into his mental signal, i found donghyun. i’m sending him your way.

understood - his reply is immediate, stay safe.

you let donghyun, in tow with his fishbowl and pet mouse and dog, down the corridor towards where you split up with the professor and proceed towards the war room.

the war room is a nest of monitors and flickering screens, most of them dark now that the power’s out. emergency generators hum in the background, casting everything in that same sickly red light. sakura stands at the center, tablet in hand as she surveys the conditions.

and then there’s dongmin, crouched near a monitor, head tilted slightly as he relays information through the mental link to other telepaths within the mansion.

both of them look up when you burst through the door.

“[y/n]?” sakura’s tablet lowers slightly and you can feel surprise flashing through dongmin’s mental connection.

“you should be in the safe room,” he hisses.

“so should you,” you grab him by the shoulders and pull him up - “let me help, dongmin’s a better telekinetic than he is a telepath.”

“i am not -” he stops himself, and sets his mouth into a thin line, “fine.”

“good,” you nod at sakura, “what’s the situation.”

“ten,” sakura taps her tablet, “from what dongmin has detected, three are after sungho - the rest are scattered throughout the mansion. we’ve mobilised teams but they will need backup.”

“understood,” you do a general sweep of the mansion, tagging onto the unfamiliar signals chasing sungho and his little situationship down a corridor. you try searching for the rest in a sea of panicked minds.

dongmin stands with pursed lips beside you, and you can feel the subtle hum of his presence in your shared mental space - a constant background radiation of his attention. you've gotten used to it over the years, though you'll never admit that out loud.

“two detected - east corridor, second floor,” dongmin relays and sakura quickly punches it into her tablet.

you follow his directions and feel a familiar signal pulsing there as well - “heeseung’s there - and his team.”

[y/n]? heeseung immediately responds when he feels your prod, are you okay? are you hurt?

i’m -

do you need support? dongmin butts into your conversation and you shoot him a look.

oh - um, heeseung chuckles awkwardly through the mental link, no. i think we have this under control.

his tone softens, stay safe [y/n].

wow, nothing for me? dongmin delivers dryly before you can respond.

heeseung laughs, and you too, dongmin.

i’m keeping them safe, don’t worry, dongmin says decisively before cutting your connection abruptly.

“the popstar,” he says quickly, before you can address the elephant in the room, “they’re still after her.”

“sungho won’t let them get her,” you say with more confidence than you feel.

“sungho’s in love with her,” dongmin replies flatly, “loves clouds judgment.”

“yeah?” you shoot him a look, “i guess you would have a lot of experience with that, based on how worried you were a few minutes ago.”

“that’s different,” dongmin snaps, his ears red.

“how is it different?”

“just focus on the intruders,” he turns pointedly away from you, pout evident on his face.

it doesn’t last for long as the doors to the war room rattle in their frames and sakura exchanges glances with the two of you - slamming her hand down on a few buttons just in time for two intruders to kick the door down, sending it flying into sakura’s frame. she parries it easily with a wave of her hand and ducks behind a console to evade the spray of bullets. dongmin pulls you down quickly and the two of you huddle behind the island console that usually displays a holographic map.

i’ve sealed the secondary exits! sakura’s voice fills both of minds simultaneously, i will take one, you two neutralise the others.

got it! you watch as sakura raises a hand and mist fills the room. red lasers sweep across the room as you and dongmin crawl closer to the door. one of the gunmen stumbles on his feet, tripping over an exposed wire as the wind around him picks up speed. out of the mist, sakura flies into him with fury, taking him out of the room and into the corridor.

the remaining soldier pivots around to scan the room - still smothered in mist by quickly thinning out. you exchange a glance at dongmin and he nods in understanding.

“hey, over here!” you shoot up to your feet and the rifle’s laser quickly swings in your direction. for a split moment, you freeze at the gun but dongmin acts a second after, using his telekinesis to pull the gun from his hands - it slams against the wall and clatters to the ground.

“you,” the soldier growls, voice distorted.

“who are you? what do you want?” you demand, trying to prod his mind, but he grins and pulls a dagger out from his belt, and you don’t have the time to pick it apart as he suddenly lunges at you - he’s faster than you imagined.

“[y/n] [l/n],” he recites your name slowly as he turns around, “telepath. telekinetic. level five. not bad. your abilities would be greatly appreciated with us.”

“how do you know my name?” you feint right just in time for dongmin to strike the soldier in the back of the temple with a stray piece of debris.

“that -” he cackles, “you don’t need to worry about - and you, han dongmin. yes - i know a lot of about you. you’re quite wanted by a few… investors.”

“oh, great. i hate being wanted,” dongmin grumbles, sidestepping as the soldier jumps at him, knife flashing his hand.

you narrow your eyes and throw out a hand to telekinetically pull the soldier away from him. the soldier stumbles as his body is torn between two directions and you take the moment to slam your entire telepathic power into his mind. the soldier’s grip on the knife loosens but he manages to shake your influence out of his head -

until dongmin’s own signal batters into his head too - his mental shields shatter and suddenly the two of you are sharing control over his body.

get out! dongmin whispers urgently.

you get out! you yell back, but oblige as you slither your way out of his psyche, catching dongmin’s limp body in your arms as he completely takes over the body of the soldier. you slowly lower yourself and him onto your knees as you watch the soldier convulse, drop the dagger, and crumple to the floor.

dongmin’s fingers twitch as he returns, and you smack his arm to help him get the numbness out.

“that hurts,” he whines.

“then it’s working!” you grin at him and he glares at you.

“you’re evil.”

he groans as he sits up from the floor, massaging his limbs as sakura flies back in, looking just as good as this morning - before the explosions, and dangling the soldier in between her hands.

“are you two alright?” she scans the two of you as she deposits the soldier next to his friend.

“fine,” you nod and dongmin echoes it.

sakura tilts her head, as if listening to something from further away, “sungho says all the soldiers have been apprehended. we are safe - for now.”

you let out a sigh of relief, just as dongmin scrambles to his feet and picks his way over to the soldiers.

“okay, but - they knew our names somehow, and our powers,” dongmin frowns.

sakura lands lightly on her feet, “i have observed that too. dongmin, [y/n], can you find out where they are receiving this information from?”

you and dongmin exchange looks.

“i’m bad cop, you’re good cop,” you crouch down beside dongmin as he flips them over so they’re lying on their backs.

“that’s not how it works,” dongmin grumbles as he places a palm on the forehead of a soldier. you do the same to the other and rifle through his memories.

strange, you frown. you go through his memories again. it starts from the corridors outside the war room, the first few explosions, them planning for the strike on the mansion, and then just… stops. there’s nothing beyond - like his memories have been wiped entirely clean.

you open your eyes and rub at them.

“there’s nothing,” you say quietly to sakura.

“what do you mean there’s nothing?” sakura kneels down as well.

“she’s right,” dongmin also pulls away his hand, “i looked - there’s nothing beyond this morning. but that doesn’t make sense, they don’t act like one day old babies - there must be - something must have happened between us taking them down and now.”

“that can’t have been more than five minutes,” you cross your arms, “is that possible?”

“someone professional, no doubt,” sakura places a hand on both your shoulders, “is there anything we can glean from the memories we do have, then?”

“they have a map,” dongmin says quietly, “of the entire mansion.”

you nod, “i saw a list - names, powers, other information. prices.”

“prices,” sakura taps her chin, “understood. we’ll look further into this - perhaps the other soldiers have more information they can provide.”

she stands up, “but for now, i ask for the two of you to pay a visit to the med bay.”

you let dongmin pull you up to your feet, “are we still doing the finals?”

sakura shoots you an incredulous look, “med bay. now.”

WEEK FOUR, TUESDAY (6PM): MED BAY

the aftermath of the attack has been chaotic. two soldiers neutralised in the war room. two more apprehended in the east corridor and one more soldier that woonhak accidentally sent to the arctic with kyujin’s help. the rest had been apprehended by a chaotic danger room command that included disco music and metal claws. sungho’s thoughts have been rattling around every telepath’s mind for the past few hours - worry and love tangled so thoroughly together that even you felt secondhand embarrassment.

the mansion has been secured by the next morning, with things quietening down. minds were wiped clean, soldiers were dropped off, and the danger room was restored, albeit with a few new scuffs on the walls.

professor xavier insisted that the tournament continue: “we cannot let fear disrupted our traditions”, he says. you just think they already wasted too much money on the decorations for the winter ball.

the attack left everyone on edge and more focused. for you and dongmin, the unspoken moment in the war room - the shared panic, the relief, hung between you, unaddressed. there was no time to talk. only to prepare.

WEEK FOUR, FRIDAY (2PM): DANGER ROOM

so the finals proceeded as scheduled, because the x mansion never lets a measly explosion get in the way of anything - including tournament finals and mid-terms. so here you are, standing in the danger room with your squad, just a little exhausted, but overridden with excitement to finally destroy dongmin and team koz once and for all.

dongmin stands directly across from you, and he looks scarily focused. serious. there’s no smirk, no teasing remarks floating through your mental link.

chaewon squeezes your shoulder, “let’s do this,” she says.

“let’s,” yunjin agrees - the three of you to make it fair, because two of team koz’s teammates have decided to take a break.

“begin!” sakura’s voice echoes.

it’s chaos from the first second. yunjin blinks toward woonhak, but he’s already moving, somehow manifesting exactly what he needs to evade her frustrated grabs. chaewon is currently debating the ethicalness of fighting donghyun’s animal friends and decides she can’t do it and instead settles for launching cautious orb force fields at him instead.

and then there’s you and dongmin.

you don’t exchange words. you don’t need to. you lunge, and he throws himself into action already. your telekinesis throws a rock in his direction and it clashes with a perfectly angled stick. it shatters into pieces and splinters fly everywhere. chaewon squeals and throws up an invisible barrier for the two of you, splinters bouncing off and falling to the floor. you keep advancing, gaining on him as you try for a physical strike - a punch aimed at his chest - but he quickly pushes it away and counters it with a low kick.

you leap over it and press down telekinetically, trying to pin him to the ground. he resists, his own power pushing back against yours. it feels like trying to hold back the tide with your bare hands.

“you got better,” he says through gritted teeth.

“so are you,” you admit, shifting your strategy.

you feint left, then right, testing his reflexes. he matches you move for move. it’s frustrating, annoying, and exhilarating. you’ve trained against him dozens of times, but it’s different this time - it’s the finals. this is everything you’ve been working towards.

you feel the moment the tide shifts. your mental link flares with clarity - years of training, of being connected to him, of knowing exactly how he thinks. you easily slip into his mind just slightly, and you feel the tinge of his thoughts. when he moves left, you’re already there. when he tries to telekinetically throw something at you, you’ve already moved the projectile.

dongmin realises quickly what you’re doing and his eyes widen just for a fraction of a second - and then he smiles.

he doesn’t back down. instead, he pushes harder. his telekinesis works faster, whipping up multiple things at once, and you’re forced to dodge everything that’s launching towards you head-on. the two of you stand locked in a battle of pure force, neither willing to give an inch.

around you, your teammates are winning. woonhak gets a stroke of bad luck and is currently begging for mercy from yunjin - unfortunately for him, yunjin is unforgiving. chaewon has cornered donghyun and tags him out in a perfectly timed hit.

team koz is crumbling, but you and dongmin are locked in a stalemate.

you change your approach. you wrap your telekinesis around him and yank dongmin towards you. he stumbles forward and you press your advantage, launching a psi-blast that he barely manages to deflect.

you’re tiring, he points out the mental link, i can feel it.

so are you, you counter.

he smirks - the familiar smirk you’ve come to know so well, “good.”

he suddenly grabs your arm and pulls, and you’re caught off-balance. before you can recover, he’s onto you, his physical strikes fast and precise. you respond in kind and suddenly you’re locked in hand-to-hand combat, movements flowing like a choreographed dance.

he spins and sweeps your legs out from under you. 

you fall, and for a moment you think this is it - he’s won. but you manage to roll backward, coming up in a crouch, but dongmin’s already advancing.

the arena is nearly empty now. donghyun has somehow avenged woonhak by tagging yunjin out and he and chaewon are circling around the two of you, ready to jump in whenever needed.

“eliminate one team member, and they are out,” sakura announces, her voice crackling with anticipation.

dongmin launches himself at you one final time. you meet him halfway, and this time - this time you know exactly what to do. you've studied him for years. you know his patterns, his tells, his habits. you know how he breathes before he strikes. you know how his eyes flicker just before he commits to a move.

you dodge his punch and grab his wrist, using his own momentum against him. you telekinetically lift him slightly off the ground, just enough to throw him off-balance, and drive your knee up. he blocks with his other arm, but the impact sends him back.

he lands hard, and you press your advantage. telekinesis converges on him from all sides, but he’s not done yet. his own power erupts outward, a shockwave of force that sends you flying backwards. 

you crash into the edge of the arena, the impact knocking the air from your lungs. for a moment, everything spins.

dongmin is getting to his feet, chest heaving. he’s close to his limit too.

you push yourself up on shaky legs and meet him in the center. your final gambit is different - no strategy, no planning. just pure instinct and will. you move. he counters. you adapt. he matches.

and then - there’s an opening.

dongmin’s guard drops just for a fraction of a second, exhaustion catching up with him. you don’t hesitate. you telekinetically shove him backward with everything you have left, putting your entire weight behind it.

he slides backward, toward the edge of the arena.

“shit!” he reaches out, trying to catch himself.

but there’s nothing to grab.

the two of you lock eyes and he scowls, and he crosses the line and disappears in a flash of light.

“team le sserafim wins!” sakura’s voice booms throughout the arena, “our champions, everyone!”

you squad erupts into celebrations behind you, and you let chaewon crush you under her weight as she tackles you to the ground. 

“tired,” you groan out as yunjin reappears and eunchae & kazuha run into the room, piling onto you like a weighted blanket.

dongmin reemerges soon after, looking frustrated and tired and handsome and -

he catches your eye and smirks.

you think i’m handsome?

shut up, you turn away pointedly, cheeks heating up. you’re thankful for woonhak’s loud distraction in the form of a wail, but you can still feel the gentle brush of his presence in your mind.

i told you i’d beat you.

he doesn’t respond, but you can feel something that feels like acceptance and pride through your mental link.

WEEK FOUR, SATURDAY (6PM): BALLROOM

“oh, oh my baby,” chaewon’s eyes are strangely misty.

“you look amazing,” kazuha says for the hundredth time, adjusting her earring.

“i feel ridiculous,” you mutter.

“that means you look good,” yunjin grins, already three sips deep into the punch eunchae swear is ‘definitely spiked, probably’.

the ballroom is decorated in silver and blue, with twinkling lights strung across the ceiling like captured stars. the band is playing something slow and romantic, and there are couples scattered across the dance floor.

you wouldn’t mind another explosion right now - anything to get you out of here.

“you’ll survive this,” chaewon says, her grip on your arm growing tighter by the second.

“i hope so too,” you groan, your feet already starting to hurt.

you scan the room and immediately find dongmin. he’s leaning against a wall, talking to donghyun and woonhak. his hair is slicked back, and he’s wearing a suit that looks expensive.

"hey, [y/n].”

you jump at heeseung's soft-spoken greeting.

"heeseung - you scared the shit out of me,” you run a hand through your hair.

"guess you don’t really feel like dancing with me, huh?” heeseung follows your gaze to dongmin, whose own eyes narrow as he straightens up.

"maybe later,” you’re more than distracted to hear heeseung's question properly, that’s for sure.

heeseung laughs, "don’t let dongmin hear that.”

"yeah, i won't - wait. don't let dongmin hear what?"

heeseung just throws you a mysterious wink before sauntering off to join the rest of his six squadmates in a coordinated dance-off.

you look back at dongmin and his eyes meet yours, and your breath stutters.

he brushes off woonhak and starts walking towards you. 

“oh my god, he’s walking over here,” yunjin whispers urgently, “is he?”

“shut up,” you hiss. your heart did something extremely traitorous and loud in your chest. 

dongmin stops in front of you, and up close, you can see the exhaustion from yesterday’s finals still lingering in his eyes. but he smiles - a small, genuine smile that makes your stomach flip.

“hi,” he says.

“hello,” you reply, suddenly very aware of how dry your mouth is.

“so,” he shifts on his feet, “you won.”

“we won,” you look around to gesture at your team - until you realise they’ve all mysteriously and suddenly vanished.

“right, ‘course,” he nods, then takes a deep breath, “i believe i owe you something.”

“you do,” you say, “don’t be a sore loser, now.”

he pouts but holds out his hand, “dance with me?”

in your mind, you hear eunchae hiss, ninety-five percent. i’m getting so much money.

you ignore her - and yunjin’s barely suppressed giggle, and chaewon’s knowing smile from across the room, and the soft oh shit kazuha lets out.

you take his hand.

dongmin pulls you onto the dance floor with surprising gentleness. his other hand settles at your waist and you realise with a start that you’ve never been this close at him without first threatening to throw him across a room or something at him.

“you fought well,” he says as you begin to move with the music.

“so did you,” you reply.

“i let you win,” he says quietly.

you pull back slightly to look at him incredulously, “what?”

he shrugs non-committedly, “just saying.”

“but you said you weren’t going to go easy on me!” your voice raises slightly.

guys, stop fighting! you need to kiss! not kill each other! eunchae complains loudly in your head and you grit your teeth.

“why did you do that?” you lower down your voice.

“because,” his eyes search yours, “i wanted to see you smile. at me. like how you smile at your squadmates, not the aggressive grin you get before you try to kill me. a real smile.”

you don’t remember smiling after the finals, but apparently you did.

“that’s, like, the most pathetic reason for losing i’ve ever heard,” you say, but your voice is comparably softer.

“probably,” he agrees.

“you’re so stupid,” you tell him.

“maybe - for you,” he replies.

the music swells around you - and suddenly it feels like just you and dongmin, his hand warm on your waist.

“i still hate you,” you say, because that’s what you’ve always said.

“i know,” he says, and he’s smiling that small smile again, “and i still love you.”

your breath catches, “don’t - don’t just say things like that.”

“why not?” he asks, “it’s true. it’s been true for a while. maybe since you threw that table at me in telekinesis class.”

“i did not!”

“you did. i nearly lost my head,” he says, amused with a cat-like smile, “i knew right then that i was in trouble.”

“dongmin -” you don’t know what to say. all your carefully constructed arguments about hating him suddenly feel very flimsy. maybe they were in the first place.

“you’re insufferable,” you settle for.

“i know.”

“and conceited.”

“sure.”

“and you cheat off me in class!”

“guilty,” he admits.

“and i -” you falter, searching for the right words, “i’m probably going to regret this later, but i don’t hate you. i never did. i think - i think i might -”

dongmin closes the distance before you finish, but you react faster, slapping a hand over his lips.

not now! you whisper, they’ll win that stupid bet.

dongmin grins lazily as eunchae’s whine rings again - guys! guys! you’re supposed to kiss! k - i - s - s!

dongmin tilts his head, “you’re right. i need to teach woonhak that he shouldn’t count his chickens before they hatch.”

you laugh, and peck the corner of his mouth instead.

the room instantly explodes.

is that a kiss? that definitely counts as a kiss right? woonhak yells.

LIPS! ON THE LIPS! yunjin yells louder.

you can feel chaewon’s satisfied ‘i told you so’ radiating through the connection like she’s basking in the sun. 

guys, should we look away? kazuha’s concern draws a laugh out of you.

“this is so embarrassing,” you mumble, and dongmin’s grip on your waist just tightens.

“you brought this onto yourself,” he says cheerfully.

later that night, the two of you steal away on a balcony, even if it’s barely private with the way half of the student population is pressing their ears against the door and peeking through the gap.

“do you still want to destroy me?” dongmin leans against the railing, breath visualised in the winter air.

“absolutely.”

“good,” he smirks, “keep me on my toes.”

he drops his head onto your shoulder, already comfortable shoving himself into your space despite your earlier squabbles.

“dongmin?” you say after a while.

“yeah?”

“i think i love you too.”

he grins - that smug, infuriating grin that you’ve come to know so well - and kisses you (on the lips this time).

behind you, the ballroom doors rattle as eunchae bounces away, yelling about how ‘everyone owes her money now’.

some things, you think to yourself, are worth being embarrassed about.

you were going to kiss han dongmin, complain about it, and then kiss him again.

i went through like five writer blocks during this and it definitely isn't my favourite work ever... (hate writing e2l), but i hope everyone enjoyed regardless! donghyun's fic is next as the last installment of the series <33

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