dumb jokes with josephine’s valet carrat as victim , as recorded by louis constant wairy , naps valet :
SO josie used to walk a lot on the outside road @ malmaison & one day she told carrat to go w her and he was like SUPER honored but then , according to constant “ he saw rise suddenly out of a ditch , a great figure covered with a white sheet ” and ofc josephine had told one of her other servants to be sitting there. the comedy succeeded and poor carrat was lit clutching her. carrat: “ madame , madame , do you see that ghost ? it is the spirit of the lady who died lately at plombieres. ” josephine : “ be quiet carrat , you are a coward. ” carrat : “ aaa , but it is indeed her spirit which has come back !!! ” then , the white sheet advanced & poor carrat LIT FAINTED
there’s also another story , in which the ladies of malmaison plotted to “ baptize ” carrat. SO the poor dude slept in a room w a closet & there was a hole in the wall , in which they put a string and at the end a can of water , exactly ABOVE the head of his bed. this wasnt the only thing , they also removed the slats of his bed & carrat had the habit of sleeping w/o a light, sO he didnt see any of those things. SOO josie , her daughter hortense ( the chief conspirator ) and the rest of the malmaison gurls were hiding in the closet while carrat threw himself on bed , it crashed in and he promptly got showered. carrat began to yell super loudly “ THIS IS HORRIBLE !!!! ” while hortense maliciously & loud enough , said to her mom & the rest of the malmaison squad “ oh maman , those toads and frogs in the water will get on him. ” needless to say , this only added to poor carrat’s panic & he yelled in the dark “ it is horrible , madame, it is horrible , to amuse yourself thus at the expense of your servants !!! ”
