[sobbing] ❝ I don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets. ❞ -- dorcas, ❝ Hey, turn off the flash you fucking moron! ❞ -- bellatrix, ❝ Honey that’s a flyer for a lawn service . ❞-- frank, ❝ Today my brother pushed me so I’m starting a kickstarter to put him down. Benefits of killing him would be I’d get pushed way less. ❞ -- gideon <3
In utter horror, Mary looks down upon the measly two knuts she’s been able to extract from the depths of her wallet -- with lower lip trembling, her stomach growls. “We’re gonna starve! This isn’t what I meant when I said I needed to diet!”
“Fu -” she fumbles, face draining of all horror as the flash on her old muggle camera goes off with a crack, thoroughly giving her away, “- fudge. Sorry. Shit. Shoot. Sorry. It’s off, I swear!”
Were she not so winded from sprinting across the busy street, she might have been able to play it off as a joke - but alas, Mary has never been smooth. “Huh? Oh --” her cheeks flush with heat as her eyes scan the flyer, only to realize that what she’d thought was a 'Lost Labrador’ was, in fact, a ‘Lawn Laborer’. Utterly awkwardly, she gives the flyer upon the post a quick pat. “I -- I knew that.”
“Hah! I’ll contribute. As long as you’re joking -- but hey, who hasn’t engaged in a little friendly attempted fratricide in their life? You are joking, though, right?”














