#* ... featuring: dracule mihawk.

surprise breaks the perpetual stoicism of his features, even if he's the one at her door knocking. maybe he expected that she wouldn't open the door. it wasn't her day with the children and he hadn't called beforehand to ask whether it was all right to drop by.

truthfully, mihawk debated it all day, bouncing the decision back and forth in his mind. perona had mentioned after her discussion with @counterspll over the phone earlier that she sounded under the weather despite any reassurances. she may also have suggested that someone bring her soup or some other comfort food to quell whatever ailment plagued her.

he could easily reason he was making dinner for all of them anyways. but, to venture out to her and hand deliver it ... well, they were still ... civil, yes ? it wasn't too far-fetched a gesture.

from: meme. verse: modern verse.

he arrived too early. it was never really much of an issue before beyond the kids not having their things together yet, in which case mihawk usually waited in the car until they came stumbling out of drucilla's place, while she hurried behind them with an extra duffel or something of theirs that they forgot to pack away in their own bags for the week. in his own inconsiderate fashion however, he often did so with no warning that he would be on his way, only alerting them to his arrival.

this time, however, he frowns when he finds the curb out front where he usually parked occupied by a car he didn't recognize. it could be a neighbor's or a guest of someone's, all these possibilities that had nothing to do with @spiritmarking or their children. but, he finds himself disappointingly vindicated when he spots him emerging from the house.

it's bad enough to witness the brief sharing of affection between the mystery man and his ex wife, but a new wave of ... emotion that he'd prefer not to name rises when zoro peeks his face out to grin up at the man. it's the same little face that tilts, eyes easily finding mihawk's, even from several yards away. the smile immediately drops. then, suddenly, everyone's eyes are on him. the blinds move in one of the front-facing windows and he knows perona is peering outside too.

it was inevitable, wasn't it? that they would move on. that she would move on. that she had a life now that existed far removed from his own, only ever orbiting one another where the children were concerned. as far as reconciliation went, it wasn't something that mihawk deluded himself into hoping for. but he realizes here and now as he watches the man's hand slip off zoro's head that the spot he once occupied could be filled with the shape of another. that there could be someone who sat at their dinner table, sharing meals, laughing in the kitchen, tucking them to sleep, taking night drives to help perona get sleepy, and sharing the space of one bed with the woman he loves. all of that wasn't his to share anymore.

he should really stay in the car. let the goodbyes be had. it's none of his business. but, he's out of the car as he's saying this in his head. he's walking up to the front stoop. the kids have vanished back into the house, likely to scramble for their things.

there's an obvious discomfort that extends to him, but that he also selfishly revels in. mihawk wants nothing more than this man to be gone, and still nothing more than to cast him in his stare for a minute more.

verbal barbs shoot forth from his mouth effortlessly, usually without a single thought of whether or not he should rethink what he wants to say. perhaps 'distraction' was a cruel word to use, but it was also exactly what he meant.

more accustomed to solitude, he's had to contend with the disruptions in his daily routine. sunlight peeked through the ever swirling gloom of kuraigana in brief intervals, so preparing the garden now would allow his new seedlings time to flourish in the sun. during which he could focus on hanging the clothes out to dry. everyday chores that were much more easily completed without the constant interruptions and distractions.

her paws pushed indents into the soft soil, trampling a few of the budding sprouts from earlier in the week. lips set into a deep frown, brows pushing together -- she was goading him, mihawk knew that much. jaw tightened then relaxed as he settled his temper.

they’re sitting across from one another in the bath. the steady drip drop from the faucet echoing in the quiet. it’s not an uncomfortable silence,  but one that comfortably blankets over them. 

his keen gaze remains steady on her,  as if trying to spot the small differences in her appearance, though failing as nothing has changed at all. maybe more freckles,  maybe the length of her hair but nothing so discernible that denotes time having passed.  a few months isn’t too long anyways. 

the water ripples as his hand surfaces, calloused fingers wrapping around her wrist and bringing her hand to his lips,  pressing softly against her knuckles.  his eyes slip shut briefly,  savoring the feeling of her skin on his lips,  to be able to be this close once more and bask in the warmth of her presence.  then, golden irises once again reveal themselves and this time, they don’t hide away but remain gazing up at her as his lips venture over her wrist and up to the crook of her elbow. 

there’s a firm tug,  an invitation to come closer, and closer still until her knees are framing either side of his hips. his head tips back, and his hand rests now on the nape of her neck,  drawing her lower until his lips meld completely against hers.  there is no hesitation in exploring the depths of her,  tongue dragging against the roof of her mouth as soon as the seam of her lips part.  he kisses her like a man parched,  a passion that only she’s grown to know.  when the inevitable break for breath separates them, their foreheads bump and the tip of his nose glides along the bridge of hers. it’s not long till his mouth seeks hers again.  he missed the taste of her.  he missed her.  

mihawk has rarely allowed another person close enough that their absence made him ache.  not in the same way that hers etched a profound emptiness in him. 

now,  he allows @counterspll to come and go as she pleases.  not that he ever had any real control over a spirit as free as her own. or, maybe he did,  proven by how long she stayed in the first place.

from: meme. verse: modern.

the four of them come together like this every so often. usually, it's after a parent-teacher meeting or a special occasion. it was a lot more awkward fresh after the divorce, and while it doesn't happen more often now, it's gotten easier.

there are a list of topics in mihawk's head that he avoids, at the very least while the children are around. they've been exposed to enough of the bickering and the tension. even when they aren't, he tries to remind himself not to pry, that drucilla's life is completely her own now. but, he inevitably, fails asking questions when he knows the answer will upset him. when the answers are not any of his business. he decides truth is far better than ignorance, however.

today is peaceful, though. spring is veering into view, flowers blossoming on trees, grass verdant and healthy. he glances over his garden, taking a mental account of all that will sprout soon. then, his gaze shifts to the children. perona is forcing zoro to play along with another made-up game. zoro is breaking all the rules just to annoy his sister and also because she makes them overly complicated.

he and drucilla had been conversing, amicable and casual. in the lull, the question comes, and his brows furrow first, wondering if he's heard right.

he turns to look at @spiritmarking , searching, a silent question.

why are you asking that? what are you thinking?

mihawk doesn't say anything for a few more beats, and maybe she thinks he won't even answer. then, his eyes turn back to the garden and the children while he speaks.

"yes--" he thinks of what else to say that might satiate whatever curiosity has overcome her. can he tell her that he holds up that image of them in his mind against what they have become now?

they had been so young, just barely out of college. a small wedding with most of them were her friends, loud and happy ... engulfing him in their odd family, even if maybe some still had reservations. he had known what it was like to be warm, to have attachment. then, he remembers her, radiant. her carefully slipping the ring onto his finger, smile wide. him solemnly promising her-- for better or for worse. those words, 'i do'. how had they fractured so cataclysmically that they ended up worlds apart? but, he knew exactly how. the dissolution slipped through his fingers like sand, and he can't confidently say that he made better effort to close the gap and keep her.

and maybe, that was one of their problems all along, that he thought he could keep her.