that post got me thinking about my identity as an ace person. I have a complicated relationship with...relationships, and sex and romance in general, and sometimes I think it might be better to move away from IDing as ace altogether. I really can’t make up my mind and most of the time I don’t want to think about it because it’s a source of a lot of internal struggle and self-condemnation for me. never having been in a serious relationship and automatically shunning everyone who has interest in me, while also experiencing romantic & sexual attraction as well as extreme bouts of loneliness & restlessness (such as now, since I have A Big Crush and it’s Killing Me)... it’s hard. I never really understood it until a couple years ago and I’ve been fighting it ever since. my mind wont go completely one way or the other. I just hope it lets me experience closeness sometime soon, because I have a big opportunity for a relationship with someone I really really like and I feel like if I pass this up I might actually die.
