#&playlist

bury a friend - billie eilish talk fast - 5 seconds of summer death of me - pvris kiss me kill me - la bouquet sucker - gndr criminal - grey my strange addiction - billie eilish fall - palisades follow you - bring me the horizon take - nekokat fire alarm - castlecomer bad romance - halestorm teeth - 5 seconds of summer savage - lights trigger - major lazer new rules - kream remix i love you - billie eilish morphine - lights my my my! - troye sivan collar full - panic! at the disco paper rings - taylor swift through glass - hands like houses too good (acoustic) - breathe carolina

“what does this mean to you? what we’re doing?” 

“it’s, y’know…” he stalls briefly, deliberately, a light pause and a crooked smile and hands in jihoon’s shirt, casual, as if jihoon might finish the sentence for him. but he knows he won’t, and the pit widens beneath him and, still, he is blind, “i kinda love it.”

his grip on jihoon’s wrist loosens, smile returning, but this time with a light chuckle and a tinge of melancholy behind it, “we should’ve gone to disneyland.”

“i love it too,” he says, and it’s not just because he does. none of this is about truth. it’s about the pain. hurting him isn’t enough. he needs to twist the knife of it; he needs to gut him, and he digs the knife in, slow, straight through him as he breaks the silence. “but i don’t love you.”