#&chodes.

“Oh, don’t bother       I already ate all the pills from underneath the couch.”

“When I look outside my window, I can't get no peace of mind        maybe it’s because I probably don’t even bother to stop my perverted neighbor Eli from the next building over from peeping in on me doing whatever the hell it is that I do exactly. It’s not like I mind that much anyways, it’s just my roommate always screams when she finds him staring at her through the window. You think I should get a tranquilizer gun and use it on her? I think I’m gonna do that. Do you have three-hundred bucks I could borrow?”

“Oh, what are you willing to do... Kiss it, kiss it better baby        I mean, it’s not that hard, is it? Join in the full on nude party I’m about to throw, or are you perhaps scared you would enjoy it too much? There’s no shame in admitting defeat, not everyone can hang with the infamous asshole in apartment twenty-three.”

“And I never liked a broke bitch        but speaking of broke bitches, what ever happened to that random guy you always seemed to like enough to bring him around someone like me? I do hope the sex wasn’t all too bad. Did you even get to try sea cucumber with him?”

“Only if for a night         would I actually allow myself to be so fucking stupid to let you tag along for my sake bomb and sea urchin chaser night. You’re probably not going to do your sake bomb with your raw fish chaser, aren’t you? Maybe instead being a judgmental Sally, and try to apply here? I heard they pay under the table, and the chef keeps looks like he wants to whisper wicked promises in your ears. Nice, right?”

“This whiskey got me feeling pretty        also horny too, oh and let me not to forget I’m a bit peckish for a burger all of a sudden. You up for a three o’ clock in the morning run for food? Or am I going to have to find some random loser to do my bidding for me? There wouldn’t be no harm in it. Plus, I think both of us could use the exercise        well, you can. I find myself to be perfectly fine, still. Great, right?”

“We share common interests       you need me, there ain't no leaving me behind         especially when you get completely shattered and end up projectile vomiting all over the bar. Just don’t get any of that shit on me, and know I will not be paying the cleaning bill for you. Now        are you ready to scam a few hot losers tonight?”

“And I run for miles just to get a taste, must be love on the brain        or perhaps it’s those Chinese energy pills finally kicking in. You ever try one before? They make you super horny as well as super focused, too. It's the perfect combination for the party I'm about to throw.”