-- // Happy Holidays to #COOL, #COOL BLEU, #COOL R3D, #COOL Y3LLOW, #2COOL, #COOL 2CHAINLINKFENCES (aka #COOL 2TWINS)!
We’re a rag-tag team of individuals who know neither boundaries or limits who met through the weirdest of circumstances: being assigned to each other by a teacher-like devil who thought pairing people who didn’t know each other or hated each other was a good idea. (It was but that’s besides the point.) We’ve overcome our differences and are going on five months of intense friendship, slandering, bantering, falling in love with Yoona, and just being ourselves -- free of judgement, except for Chaeyeon. I’m still certain she’s got a fetish for cake.
Anyways, Christmas is our five-month anniversary and I guess I should be nice since that’s the human tradition for these things.
#COOL
First of all, you guys are a bunch of nerds but I guess you’re kind of #COOL, too. I don’t know how we ended up becoming a group, debuting, and even winning our first award on our debut stage, but we did it. And it’s all thanks to... Yoona! Because we can’t have #COOL without Yoona. After all, she was the cherry on top that made everything better.
#COOL BLEU
I know it was hard losing two members around the same time but I’m grateful to you guys for keeping it together and becoming stronger in my absence. Even if I wasn’t around for a few months, it never felt like I was missing or that I wasn’t a part of the group. And even though I hate two of you, I still l*ke you. Sort of. Kind of. Okay yeah, I fucking love you guys. Thanks for not giving up on me or leaving me behind even when I wasn’t easy to be found.
#COOL R3D
It’s not my fault that Chae’s constantly kicked from the group when she’s always being herself. But her tantrums gives us inspiration for new music and new concepts, as we debut with a concept of constant stress over life and love; especially loved ones kicked from leaving the group and the rest of us behind. But fear not, my wounded warriors, we will strive with the flames of our affections and win over the audience with our passion.
#COOL Y3LLOW
How am I still in these sub-units is beyond me but apparently I am. It was on December 3rd that we finally overturned Nam William Woohyun’s tyrancy and managed to free ourselves from his grasp; but I guess we have him to thank for that for attempting to cancel #COOL in a fit of betrayal. Go hard or go home, as he probably wouldn’t say but I think he thinks anyways. I’m glad I can have two beautiful girls by my side as we take over the stage and hype the crowd.
#2COOL
Everyone knows that Yoona and I are two peas in a pod, but we’re simply #2COOL for the rest of #COOL. After all, have you guys seen Yoona? Not only is she kind, beautiful, sweet, considerate, adorable, cute, amazing, talented, generous, and so full of virtues you’d never think she sinned a day in her life, but she loves me, of all people. Me! The exact opposite of her; but maybe that’s why #2COOL thrives despite all odds. Opposites attract and we’re definitely attracted to each other. Which is why we have more wins than #2TWINS does.
#COOL 2CHAINLINKFENCES (#COOL 2TWINS)
The two of you might not be as #COOL as #2COOL (no one is as #COOL as #2COOL) but you’re definitely in the top two of co-ed duo groups. While Chaeyeon is so full of temper, William helps balance her out. I guess it’s no surprise that both duo-units of #COOL are balanced by being opposites. You guys are still nerds and won’t ever be as #COOL as #2COOL but I love you both and wish you to success in your advances. But don’t be put-out if you get burned by the flames of #2COOL’s love.
MY LOVE, MY GODDESS, MY QUEEN, MY SAVIOUR, MY HEART, MY SOUL, MY MIND, MY EVERYTHING -- IM YOONA; @yoonphrodite!
No one could ever compare to your beauty and your grace. On a daily basis, you bless me with your love and attention. And I couldn't be happier just having a second of your time. You allow me to love you whole heartedly and humour me in my jokes and banter, even siding with me when the other two are acting up. It’s fun being so loyal to someone in all aspect of life and being able to show my love for you, and have it returned as equally enthusiastic. You make my days so much brighter and my life so much happier, just by being you and existing. No one could ever come close to what you mean to me. And I will fight, kill, destroy anyone who gets in your way or hurts you. I mean it. I’d die for you and I’d kill for you, so don’t ever be afraid to let me know if someone upsets you. I love you with all my heart, mind, and soul, my Queen, and no one is going to stop me from loving you as much as I do. Thank you for making this life a life worth living. I love you, for you are my love, my goddess, my saviour, my queen, my heart, my soul, my mind, my love, my inspiration, my everything.
CAKE FETISHIST AND CUPCAKE ASSAULTER, SOO CHAEYEON; @chaeyxon!
Even if you assaulted me with a perfectly good cupcake and didn’t recognize me when we met again in a group counselling session, I forgive you for wasting your money on a perfectly good cupcake. I mean, it’s not like you needed the first cupcake, considering I bet you already had more than one that day anyways, but still, I forgive you in all your rude mannerisms and tantrum throwing. After all, that got us to where we are now: frenemies! Yay! Sarcasm. Except not really, because you smashing my face in with a perfectly good cupcake was one of the best ice-breakers of the year and no one can compare to our iconic moment together. Because now you’re one of my best friends and a member to the same group and I’d buy you a car-- oh wait, I did. So vroom-vroom your ass out there and show off how great #COOL is, yeah? I love you, even if I kick you out of the room a lot.
NAM-MAN WILLIAM OF THE HOUSE OF INFINITE -- NAM WOOHYUN; @namue!
You’re last but you’re not least at all; I think that’s reserved for Chaeyeon (jest) but don’t feel bad, even if you’re always watching stuff without me and kicking me out of the group, I’d still eat your cookies for you. I mean, you’re pretty great, even if you’re eighty percent plastic. Not that it’s a bad thing, I mean, you could easily kill someone with that nose of yours, but I still find you mildly attractive. You’re really fun to be around and you make my days more entertaining and I’m glad that you weaseled your way into my life, you little sneak, because it means that life is never boring with you around. I can always expect to wake up and laugh my ass off over our banter or your jokes. It’s just, great to know that there are people like you out there who can make my day better without even trying; just be existing, you help take the weight off my shoulders. But don’t let this get to your ego, you hear? I’m not saying this again.
To you nerdlings:
Thank you for making this year a great one, even when it wasn’t so great. I’m so thankful to you guys for being yourselves and making me forget all the stress in the world and teaching me how to be myself and how to act, without judging me for being ignorant or out of the loop. I couldn’t be more grateful to a bunch of nerds than I am to you guys. Thank you for being a part of my life and allowing me a part of yours.
Now don’t ever mention this again, I don’t want to hear how sappy and gross this cheesy shit is.
