#||about muse||

The childhood best friend who's been in love with the main character their whole life

You're a loyal person to the core, and probably a hopeless romantic as well. You're full of love for those you care about, and that's both your biggest strength and weakness. You would do anything for them, even if it means hurting your own feelings. You will hide all your pain and your needs as longs as that means the rest gets to be happy. You biggest struggle is to clearly communicate your feelings, and you'll always try to avoid those conversations or pretend everything is fine (when it isn't). Remember you deserve to receive the same love you give.

tagged by: @theunknownmasks

Based on wiki, he hunted down the worst criminals in London and got rid of even the original Jack the Ripper. It is questionable whether he actually killed prostitutes considering his ties--or simply took up the name of the original jack the ripper. Perhaps he did, considering what a piece of garbage his mother was or he didn't.

Either way, my Brunnhilde doesn't see him as a 'piece of shit'. She sees him for the shades of grey and complexities that is humanity. In truth, I cannot see her judging him for taking the lives of criminals or really, condemning him too harshly when it came to his asshole parents. The only thing she'd hold him accountable for was /if/ he murdered prostitutes that weren't dirty--in the sense they had no hand in the crimes plaguing London, abusing children or anything else abhorrent.There is a level of respect for his intelligence and ferreting out the worst of the worst in London.

So I perceive Brunnhilde to be more discerning and critical. She takes everything into account. Her intelligence is peak because she does not conform to the easiest and laziest explanation of a situation or a person. She's smart for a reason and that's because she looks past the surface, gathers information and formulates her own opinions based on her own guiding principles.

It has come to my attention, via a subtle hint and inkling, that Kimi may have been more involved in Inuyasha’s childhood than what is currently known [which is zero if asked--or if she bothered to answer].

Subjugation Beads

The only reason Kikyou had created the beads was to protect her people and Inuyasha. Even so, that is not to say there wasn’t turmoil in her heart at the prospect of giving it to him and someday using them. There was a significant amount and it was a decision she did not take lightly. I am certain she hoped she never have to use them--but at the expense of his life and others--she couldn’t take the risk.

And I know the use of ‘beloved’ as the trigger word is confusing--but upon thinking about it--it is a demonstration of love. As stated, the beads were for the sake of him and the villagers. She loved him by the time of its creation. The easiest word that came to her mind for Inuyasha, was ‘beloved’. Something quite easy to recall..perhaps a bit dangerous if she used it too frequently..But nonetheless, it shows how much she loved him. How her thoughts were filled with pure adoration, even if she ultimately had to give him a spell bound beads to wear.

If Kikyou had to use it to snap Inuyasha out of his demonic state during those early days, it would have hurt her significantly to use it. However, preventing him from harming others and himself is important. Imagine her using ‘beloved..stop.” and Inuyasha is yanked to the ground, successfully snapped out of it..Kikyou would be at his side in an instant to ensure he was okay..And knowing her, apologize for using it while checking him over.

In the end, she didn’t give it to him. She had opted to believe in his abilities--to trust that he will not harm another or betray her by trying to steal the shikon jewel.

While I do love my complex, tragedy turned villains, I also like ordinary bastards that have nothing excusable about them. They are so wretched and despicable, that it is amazing.

For me, it is the following muse:

x|| Kagura.

There is nothing to pity here. Just a demoness out here trying to slaughter all those who gets in her and Naraku's way.

Because of how I write her and how she's intertwined with Naraku, she eventually gets her heart. But even before that, she doesn't think of her time with Naraku as imprisonment. She fully enjoys it. One could say she loves him--which ultimately is self love if you think about it lolol.

They're both on the same horrifying wavelength --to the point that Naraku has no doubts about her loyalty--unlike his other reincarnations.

Starting a Family Headcanon Asks!

Number: How many children does your muse want?

Kikyou never really thought about how many children. For her, no matter the number, her children will be loved. Whether it is three or six, she will love them with all her heart. Of course, she does not want to be popping out children every year either. It also depends on who her partner is as well. Ideally probably three. Again, if she ends up bearing more, it is not a big deal.

Want: Does your muse want children? Why or why not?

As indicated above, of course she does. No matter the verse, she is very maternal, protective and nurturing. She has so much love in her heart to give to children. It is a very strong primal instinct but just also who she is as a person. Children and babies always have a soft spot in her heart. Baring a child with one's significant other..is also a very beautiful moment. She wants to experience bringing new life into the world with her husband or s/o.

Capable: Do you think your muse is capable of caring for a child? Why/Why not? 

Yes. She raised Kaede and is a warm, compassionate and maternal woman. Kikyou has not only the instincts, experience, maturity and wisdom to do so--she also is a healer and can tend to various ailments. Kikyou is naturally good with children and many adore her. She has all the attributes, personality and skills to care and nurture a child.

Parent: What type of parent does your muse consider themself?

 Typically, she considers herself as flexible, protective but stern parent. She knows she is the type to fuss over her children with affection. Not afraid to pull them into hugs and bury them in kisses--just ask Rin. She takes so much joy in tending to their needs and while she is involved..she knows when to step back and let her children make their own mistakes.

Scrapbook: Does your muse like to keep record of their kids, or are they more ‘live in the moment’ type?

That said, I saw a gifset of her piercing Inuyasha with her arrow and sealing him to the sacred tree of ages and got me thinking. Not only did this bleeding, pain riddled and half dying woman drag herself back to the village...but she had to lift her bow against the one person who understood her. The one person who saw her for who she was, related to her loneliness, made her feel human, brought to life her hopes and dreams and unquestionably,  was her love and husband to be . She had to  fire an arrow at this person that she wished to share her life with, who brought peace and semblance to her weary heart.

And while she had the opportunity to kill him, she chose to seal him instead. Even with thinking he had betrayed her, used her to get the jewel and that the time they shared were just a lie..she still could not bring herself to cut down the man she loved more than life itself. So she did the next best thing to get the jewel and save the village..which still would not have been an easy feat. 

It still broke her heart to have done so. Perhaps if she had not been on the verge of death, it would not have ended in such a violent and tragic manner but it did. 

In the end, Kikyou did right by the village and the world at large..but at the cost of her own heart, wishes and dreams. She truly lived up to her reputation as a very formidable and powerful priestess in more than one way.

And I cannot help but reflect again, how strong she had to be all her life and even in her last moments towards her first death, she had to be again. To die knowing you were used, betrayed and made to believe that everything was a lie..is utterly and miserably painful. I cannot imagine it. 

All her actions speaks volumes on her character. She is sorely under appreciated for just how strong she had to be. How complex, fascinating and amazing her character is. Kikyou has an inhuman level of power, determination and resolve that puts her far above the average human. She does have human foibles but for the most part, ignores or overcomes it to get the work done.

Kikyou is not a saint but given all that she had to do, all she had to suffer through..all that she has done..she might as well be. No one is more deserving of happiness than her and ;-; all she got was repeated slaps of misfortunate.