#||; meme

“your feet are cold.”

“movies are made for watching, not for asking questions.”

“you’re hogging the blankets!”

“we should cuddle… for warmth.”

“is that your hand on my leg?”

“scoot over.”

“can we watch something else? this is scary.” 

“are you shivering?” 

“if you start snoring, i won’t be responsible for what happens to you.”

“did you eat all the popcorn?”

“your hair keeps getting in my face.”

“are you even wearing pants??”

“stop kicking me!”

“you’re a good pillow.”

“do i look like a foot-rest to you?”

“do i look like a pillow to you?”

“i’m cold.”

❝ Ooh, who’s that fella? I bet he did kill his wife. ❞

❝ It’s great, you sound like a person. ❞

❝ Some people give off a vibe of like, “do not fuck with me.” My vibe is more like “hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I’d probably apologize to you!” ❞

❝ You can do whatever you want forever. ❞ 

❝ Anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die. ❞  

❝ Have you seen his ass lately? What the hell is he trying to pull? ❞ 

❝ That’s how broken I was. ❞ 

❝ You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair. ❞

❝ I’m very small, and I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress that I’m under. ❞

❝ Hey, can I walk you home? ❞ 

❝ Well, now I’m embarrassed to say. ❞

❝ I’m so horny and angry all the time, and I have no outlet for it, so… ❞

❝ And when one feels like a duck, one is happy! ❞

❝ Ah, numbers, the letters of math. ❞

❝ You know how I’m filled with rage? ❞ 

❝ This guy’s either 40 or 80. ❞

❝ Eat ass, suck a dick and sell drugs. ❞ 

❝ Yeah, but the past is the past. ❞  

❝ Oh, is she a super bad mom? ❞

❝ Hey, what kind of a person are you? ❞ 

❝ I mean, you’re all violent here, but you’re very friendly. ❞  

❝ Oh, me? I’m just an old man. ❞

❝ I don’t like confrontation, because I’ve never been in a fight before. ❞  

❝ You’re never too young to learn our national no-snitching policy. ❞ 

❝ Now that’s debatable. ❞ 

❝ How perfect is that? ❞

❝ Thank you, no one will ever see me again! ❞ 

❝ ‘Cause he never forgets a bitch, ever. ❞ 

❝ And isn’t that the American dream when all’s said and done? ❞ 

❝ That’s not even a situation. ❞ 

❝ Oh the things I have seen, you cocksucker. ❞