Cliff: Shane, brother I am a big fan of you but I got to ask, how did you get Rozanov? Like you are the best at hockey i understand but he is near best at hockey and hot and sexy and caring and a whore but hopeless in love in a kind self destructive way. How the fuck did you even bag him?

Hayden and JJ: (offended)

Shane: 🧍‍♀️(shocked that he doesn't have to defend Ilya and actually can say what he has wanted to say for a long time)

Shane: (puts a hand over Hayden and JJ's mouth) I am down bad for his curls and moles and the way he smiles Cliff. I cannot resist his hot body and even kinder heart. I will kill people to wake up in his arms everyday, actually I already have a list of all the people he has slept with in each city in case they try to approach him. Also I don't stop him from shit talking the other MLH players so that he is constantly reminded that I am infact the best hockey player candidate to be his future husband. I have an excel sheet of all his preferences in bed and contradictory to what everyone says it's me who has needs and Ilya is the only one who can activate fullfil them and he likes being the first one I do them with so I don't think I have to worry about him leaving me anytime soon. I have perfected the yearning bottom gay eyes™ so that he has to give into everything I want and he has no choice but to do my bidding.

Hayden, JJ and Cliff: very horrified and mildly impressed

Shane: also I come with a free family and a mother who aggressively loves to take care of her sons

Shane: there was no competition that Slavic ass was trapped a long time ago

Hayden, JJ and Cliff: (cowering) yes

Shane: I'll go to my HUSBAND then.....quite a permanent position in my life