#@musing

"It's nice...."

Giving his parents a bright smile, Ahiro held onto the new book to his chest as hard as he could. The very last book of his favorite series. He had been worried that he wouldn't be able to read it. Even though Ahiro had hundreds of books, they were mostly given to him or taken from a book sale at an incredibly cheap price. This book was new and non used. They had probably bought it from the nearby book store. Despite the fact that they probably had other things to buy with their money, they took their money on him.

'And it's not even my birthday...'

A slight pang went through his heart. He winced, trying not to show it. But it was seen by both of his parents. They instantly crowd him, asking him the same questions, he's been hearing every day since his illness began to regress.

        How are you feeling?

                 Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?

                               Is everything okay?

Everything was perfectly FINE! He wished his parents understood that he knew what was happening to him and his body. He was dying. Okay. One day, he may not wake up again. Rather than dwell on something that happened to everyone, Ahiro just wanted to...do anything else. Work with his hands. Walk. Go to school. Another pang shot through his chest and he must have made a noise. All of the sudden, he was being whisked back to his room in his dad's arms. He was too used to this to feel any embarrassment anymore. All he wanted to do was read his new book.

        "I'm fine. Please. Really. Really. Yes. I know. I'll take the medicine right now. Then sleep. Right. Right."

It was an endless task, trying to ensure his parents that he wasn't about to kneel over and die at the very same moment. Because, honestly, Ahiro wasn't sure that he wasn't. But that didn't mean he had to voice any worries to his parents. They had enough. After an infinite amount of time of them worrying, the concerned parents left the room. The sixteen year old teenager sighed, looking over the calamity that was his room.

Impressive shelves were sitting on each side of his room. Yet, on the floor, knick knacks, toys, broken objects, fixed machines, and other little inventions stopped the place from looking like anything other than a workhouse. Even his desk was covered with them. The boy looked at the desk. He hadn't been able to work those long nights at his desk anymore. Crimson-brown eyes traveled on the desk. From the little gadgets around, he apparently had been working on some Christmas lights. Not anymore. Christmas...he wondered if he could see that again. Maybe.

"Um...--What?"

A CD and a manga? Ahiro blinked confused. Strange. These gray-faced people were so strange. He would try to read the book first. He picked it up, glancing at the cover. It held two men hugging on the front. His eyesbrows raised. "Manga's strange...What's yaoi?" He never read it, but Tora did. Maybe he'll try it. "Alright! I'll read it. Then listen to the CD." This was exciting.

He made it only fifteenth pages in before his face suddenly turned red. "H-huh...?" This book was getting a bit...intense. The men were saying and doing things that made Ahiro blush in embarrassment. Passionate things. Yes, very embarrassing. He turned another page before freezing completely. A very explicit page stared up at him.

"W-wahh...!" He dropped the book as if it burned his hands. The blush on his cheeks seemed permanently frozen on his face. Such a thing. "They were....he put his mouth...And then they--" That was definitely not a book he was going to be finishing. He glanced at the CD. Perhaps music to listen to. Good. He needed something to drown his thoughts away after seeing that.

He loaded the CD, still blushing at the book. Placing his headphones on his ears, he pressed play. ".....Ah, it's not music." But people talking...This was just as strange as the book. He blushed, glancing at the object still on the ground.

"EH...?"

His ears suddenly exploded with passionate sounds. His face felt like it could explode. 'THIS IS WORST THAN THE BOOK!' He ripped the headphones from his ears, racing from the room.

".....--"

Ahiro could feel those eyes on him, questioning him. But he didn't dare raise his head. He would be too embarrassed. After screaming the male's name out like that before crashing into him, Ahiro felt like he probably shouldn't have anything to do with the elder male. It was too dangerous. He managed to get an order wrong, spill strawberry milkshake over his music store floor, and now embarrassed them both in front of random people. Of course Eiji shouted at him for running so carelessly and to pay better attention. But Ahiro cut him off before he could question why he was doing such a thing by offering to buy the other a milkshake.

'But now that we're just standing here, it was probably a mistake.' He'll have to explain why he was so crazed before. But Ahiro himself didn't understand. He didn't know what possessed him to chase after the other. He just wanted...to be with the other. His heart jumped at the realization. What did that mean? Ugh...this was too confusing. Why couldn't things be simple, like math? He was good in math.

"Oi, stop spacing out."

Ahiro blinked when he was lightly hit on the head with a newspaper. He stared at the male, shocked. Was he talking? Apparently he was,  if he the peeved expression the other had meant anything. Ahiro stared, feeling his heart rush as he studied the details of the male's face. Unable to look anymore, he glanced away. 'This feels....familiar.' A feeling was overcoming him...Something familiar.

"Sorry...I was just thinking..." He squeaked out quickly. His mind tried to come up with the time he felt this way. He was nervous and excited, apprehensive and courageous. Mostly, he felt confused. It didn't feel good at all. He glanced down at the street they were walking on, going silent again. He completely missed what the other said again. He also didn't see the concern gaze drifted his way at his unusual silence.

"Kid, you okay?"

Ahiro's eyes widened. His head snapped up to look at Eiji. There...He knew this scenario. His dream...It was just like his dream. He swallowed, seeing the grey eyes boring down on him. Unlike the stoic gaze he was usually greeted with, Eiji appeared almost concerned and thoughtful. Ahiro's face turned pink. Was the person in his dream actually Eiji? It made sense, right? The only person he knew who had such shaggy hair and glasses was the man standing in front of him. 'Then Eiji was the one I--...'

His thoughts stopped as a hand went to his forehead. His eyes widened even more. Just like his dream. If it continued in that manner, then he would....Ahiro's heart started to pound at an all time high. Well, it was just some dream. Didn't mean it had to happen really. Yes. Say something. He didn't say anything in his dream. So he should say something now. He opened his mouth to answer.

"...A-ah..." Nothing. His throat clenched painfully when he tried. He blushed, wringing his fingers together. Glancing up, he saw that brief, bemused smile fitting across Eiji's lips. The grey eyes warmed as he stared down at his younger employee. Ahiro's eyes widened. Such a smile...it was unfair. He couldn't fight against that. He knew the words leaving his mouth, even if the roaring in his ears blocked out all sounds.

                   ".......Always so mousy, Ahiro."

His name...his name passing those lips finally. Just like his dream, he was filled with such happiness. It had always been kid. But now he acknowledged his name. Ahiro didn't break their eye contact, heart jumping. 'I can't fight it...' His arms slowly moved up wrapping around Eiji's neck, pulling him down. He shut his eyes, pulling the other closer. He raised himself on his toes some, moving their lips closer. Closer and closer until their lips finally met.

Ahiro kept his eyes close, not wanting to see the other's reaction. He just kept their lips pressed together. He didn't know what he was thinking. Everything...Nothing...It was just too much. He pulled away finally. It seemed like it was an eternity when it was only a few seconds. His breath was labored, chest heaving up and down. The worst thing...the absolute worst was not being able to look Eiji in the eyes.

"..."

The boy pulled away. He couldn't stay after something like that. It was too much. The second he moved away, he felt colder. But he didn't let that stop him. Ahiro kept his head bowed, stopping the other from seeing his expression clearly. He clenched his fists by his side. This wasn't a dream. His actions had consequences. He just didn't want to face them. The teenager turned away, feeling his feet propel him away from the shocked elder male. He didn't stop running until he was in the safety of his own room.

"Go away...Go away...go away..."

The boy chanted under his breath as he walked the nearly empty streets of the city. The sun was lowering and people were mostly home at the second. Those who were out were mostly businessmen and women, groups of teenagers, and a few couples here or there. Whenever his gaze settled on the couples, Ahiro's face would turn bright red and he would quickly walk away.

'Stupid dream...!' He wasn't able to go asleep after something like that. If he tried to think about it, his heart would pound increasingly and his legs felt weak. So he attempted not thinking about it. But that only made him think about it more. It was a vicious cycle. He had believed a walk would help clear his mind. It didn't.

The boy stopped, kicking at a loose can in the street. "Stupid..." Why was he acting like this when it was just a simple dream. Nothing but his conscious playing images in his mind as he slept. Very...detailed images. 'This is getting me a headache...' He would just go home now. That seemed better. Ahiro begin to turn around, but stopped instantly.

'That's--...'

It was only for a few seconds, but he saw unmistakable shaggy, black hair of his 'boss.' All thoughts of the dream left him instantly as he searched for the male in the crowd. He was sure he had seen him. Ahiro pressed his lips tightly together. Perhaps talking would help. He moved in the direction that he believed he saw the elder male go, intent on talking to him. The fact that the other may be still upset over earlier didn't cross his mind. Ahiro was just struck with the need to talk to the bespectacled male.

Ahiro's eyes scanned the streets, in hopes of seeing the male. He frowned when he didn't immediately spot him. Perhaps...he had just imagined it. Ahiro admitted that he was a bit disappointed. 'There!' Eiji's figure appeared once again. Ahiro put on a bit more speed, keeping his eyes on the male. "E-eiji...!" He called out, but it was an useless endeavor. The male had on his headphones. Ahiro cursed in English as the male turned around a corner, disappearing from his sight.

Ahiro stopped. He wouldn't catch up to him this way. He turned his head, attempting to find a short cut. He had to find Eiji. The reason why was lost on him...He just needed it. The boy quickly moved in between two buildings, rushing down the one-man alley. 'Can't lose him...can't lose him...' He had to find Eiji. Despite the sweat accumulating over his forehead and his lack of energy, he pushed on quickly.

      "Eiji....!"

Ahiro shouted as he finally emerged from the small alley at full speed. His eyes widened at the object of his search was directly in front of him. They're eyes clashed briefly. Relief in Ahiro's eyes versus the shock in Eiji's. Too bad Ahiro didn't realize he was going too fast until it was too late.

               BAM....!

Their bodies crashed into each other. It was a quick tangle of limbs as they both crashed onto the hard street floor. Ahiro's eyes shut tightly, not knowing which was up. Stupid. He'll have something else to apologize for. He felt a brief pain in his head, but it was nothing. 'What about Eiji?' His eyes snapped open, accessing the situation.

For the most part, the young one was uninjured. He didn't see how since he was going full speed. He glanced down to see an arm thrown around him protectively. He was lying fully over a body, so he hadn't been the one to hit the pavement. Ahiro blinked. He glanced to see stoic grey eyes boring down at him.  Ahiro's face flamed at the rather close contact their bodies had. But he smiled, genuinely happy.

"Today was the worst...."

The teenager sighed as he fell back on his bed. He was tired and sore. Today...had definitely been more interesting than most times. He had continued his work at the music shop as he promised, greeted the customers, helped around, cleaned when it was required. Nothing new there. No. Things went downhill, when he had forgot to buy Eiji's lunch. Despite the other not yelling at him, he had managed to drop the sweet on the floor. Ahiro placed his hands to his ears. They were still ringing with Eiji's shouts. The shaggy haired boy rolled into his futon.

"And it was going so well too..."

Light crimson eyes went over his shelves, the bookshelf and his 'gadget' shelf. One was filled with his favorite books, the other filled with odds and ends he had collected over the years. He sighed, feeling his eyes slowly close. A nap...sounded really good at the second. 'I'll have to make it up to Eiji somehow...' With that thought, he slowly drifted to an eventful sleep...

"Kid, you okay?"

Ahiro snapped out of his thoughts, staring up at the male that was standing beside him. Even though his face was partly hidden in shadow, Ahiro felt safe by his side. All he could see was dark hair that rivaled Ahiro's own black locks and the reflection of his face in thin glasses. There wasn't any defining characteristics in the other's face, but Ahiro felt his face pinken. He just knew those eyes were on him, one way or another. Studying him...

His lack of response may have caused concern because a heavy went to his forehead, brushing over his bangs. It settled there. "You sick or something?" Ahiro certainly felt sick. His heart was beating too fast for acceptance. He knew his skin was hot even if he wasn't sick. He swallowed, unable to come up with any words. "Ah...--" Even if he couldn't see it, he just knew that the other was smiling, bemused by his usual reaction.

"Always so mousy, Ahiro."

If Ahiro's face wasn't flamed by then, it had to be on fire then. 'He...said my name.' It felt good in the deep voice. His heart felt like it could leap from his chest if it continued to pound so hard. Crimson eyes went to the faceless male, unable to take it anymore. He was just so happy. So happy... Ahiro swallowed, feeling a push of courage settle in his muscles. He knew what he was going to do before he even did it. He reached out, hands settling around the male's neck and pulling him down to Ahiro's level. Despite the shocked sound that was made, Ahiro didn't stop. He moved closer, eyes shutting slowly. Their lips were getting closer...Five move inches. Four more...Three...two...one...

       "UWAH...!"

Ahiro jumped from his sleep, falling from his bed. He hissed as his back hit the hard floor. A bang revolved around his room before settling down into the walls. Ahiro breathed deeply, sweat pouring from his face. He was breathing as if he just ran a marathon. What was that? "A dream..." A very life-like dream. Embarassing. He pulled his covers over half of his blushing face. The boy banged his head on the floor again.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Ahiro bowed repeatedly, unbroken apologies spilling from his mouth. He had only one task. One simple task. And he managed to mess that up as well. Horrible. All he needed to do was get lunch for both him and Eiji while the other looked after the store. Simple, right? WRONG!

Ahiro glanced at the milkshake that was the bane of all his problems. There was nothing wrong with the milkshake itself. There was just not enough. Only one...Eiji had ordered a vanilla one while Ahiro ordered strawberry. The pink hue of the strawberry milkshake taunted him. How could he have forgotten that the other wanted one as well. Such a a careless mistake? Ahiro could basically feel the disappointment rolling off the elder male in waves. Ahiro wrung his fingers, desperately. He wished, hoped, prayed that the male would do something other than just stand there, saying nothing.

'He's going to yell at me. Say that it's entirely careless and brainless of me to get something this simple so wrong. He's going to give the painful glare of death and I'll burn on the spot.'

He felt like he was on fire, standing there in the silence as he waited for Eiji's judgement. He had stopped apologizing and simply stood there. He tensed as the other finally shuffled some, crossing his arms over his chest. "Do you have any straws?" the deep voice asked slowly. Ahiro nodded, holding up one straw in one hand. In his other hand was the said item that was the cause of his problems. They both were taken from his hand. Oh. So maybe he wouldn't do much, just eat the milkshake for himself. That wasn't too bad. Light crimson eyes lightly raised, not surprised to see the other taking a few sips of the milkshake. He was surprised to have the delight being handed back to him.

"Huh--?" Even though he took it without a thought, he was still surprised. The calm grey eyes of Eiji met with his surprised gaze. "Just drink it." The order was calm and nothing like he expected. Ahiro blushed lightly glancing down at the drink. He suddenly felt ashamed, even more so than before. Eiji, although a bit cold, was a good person. He shouldn't have expected anything else. He smiled, a happy blush on his face. His lips wrapped around the straw, sucking up the sweet beverage. Eiji wasn't mad and he didn't get yelled at. A good mood now...

But his mind was a traitor as it calmly whispered, 'Sharing a straw is said to be a kiss, right?' He stopped drinking instantly, face flushing the deepest red. His traitorous mind repeated the word over and over and over again. 'Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kisskisskisskisskiss.'

With a deep plop, the milkshake slipped from his loose grip, showering the music store floor with the delicious pink contents.