#;strings

in the beginning, the idea of performing on vlive whether alone or with his members set him on edge. he loved the idea he could use it was a method for interacting with fans from all around the world and could read their comments. but the idea of it being live, that he could mess up in some way and then it would be in front of thousands of people maybe more. that, that idea in itself is what sent shivers down his back. because sejun could be a little bit entertaining with his members, could crack jokes every now and again, could be a little bit goofy. but alone? would he be entertaining enough alone to entice the fans?

and so he dug his feet in and held off as long as he could; let the other members go first and hoped he could learn from their example. but of course it didn’t take long for fans to question where certain members were. and rather than wait for management to gently prod him into doing one, sejun decided to bite the bullet and take the initiative.

and thus began, sejun’s adventure on vlive. the first one had been a bit of a rough start to say the least, or so he thought. he planned nothing, instead sat down with a bowl full of spicy ramen and his speaker system, intending to only last as long as he food lasted him. but what he thought would be a 20 minute vlive, turned into over an hour of him really getting a chance to fully interact with the fans in a way he never thought he would enjoy.

nowadays it’s more of a game, something he likes to surprise the world with, interactions that are wholeheartedly pure and never planned. today, however, was a little bit different. he had been stealing snippets of time between schedules, curled up in his room in the dorm, practicing for months for tonight.

as sejun sets up the camera and moves quickly, picking up clothes and miscellaneous items off of the floor around the hotel room, he feels his stomach begin to twist and turn. nerves and anxiety settle there and a cold sweat begins to trickle down his spine. it’s silly, how nervous he is for something like this. and while the fans like to joke that he’s golden, easily conquering things he sets his mind on, he knows the truth. he knows that he’s practiced for hours to tackle things he’s attempted, wanting desperately too be good at it, allowed his competitive nature, the drive to push him further and further. so while it looks effortless, nothing ever truly is.

sejun is proficient in his movements, familiar with handling equipment. he settles down into a chair at the room’s table and settles back into the uncomfortable cushions as he opens the room and watches the small number of fans grow. the barrage of comments on the side help to settle his nerves as sejuns falls into the familiar routine. the greeting, the flashing of comfortable smiles, the jokes, the hearts, the pure enjoyment of it. he almost forgets, catches a glimpse of the guitar out of the corner of his eye. he expects to chicken out, to let the fear and nerves drive him from even mentioning it. but the calm atmosphere only encourages him, to draw it out, to introduce his interest and efforts, and to show off the work he put in, the strides he made.