#;potato

Dear Mina,

I think the things that I’ve said the most to you since we became friends, is thank you, and I’m sorry. ㅋㅋ I can’t help it though, because through our.. I think It should be about half a year now, or a little more than that, you have always been staying by my side and giving me advices and helping me going through things, and with a stubborn head like me who often gets lost and confused when It comes to feelings and such, I need that. And It means an awfully lot that you never, for once, feel bothered or burdened by my constant confusion and frustration over my relationships, be it romantically or friendships in general, and again, thank you.

And I think I’ve said this already that you and Daehyun, you two are my relationship goal. I want something like that, something..strong, inseparable. Like no matter what happens there is absolutely nothing can get in between you two and you guys can fight (which couples don’t, really) or get upset at each other but at the end of the day, you don’t give up. You two are best friends who share everything with one another. I wanted that, I still do, and I really hope that this time I have it. I know I can be super stubborn and that’s frustrating, but I learned my lesson, even though It was the hard way ㅋㅋ and this time I try to..express more, open up more, and even though there are lots of things going on right now, for once, I’m still okay. But anyway, you are a wonderful person, one of the most wonderful that I’ve ever met in my life. You are always strong and positive and you shine so bright and you are like this little ray of sunshine that brightens up someone’s day wherever you go and people love you for that. I admire you, your personalities and your relationship and how you deal with things in life, how you always try your best in everything that you do, and hopefully, one day I’d be like that, too, heh. Let’s continue spending more time together in 2015, for our relationship to grow strong, and for our groups to be more and more successful, okay? AOA fighting, Apink fighting! And of course, I love you, heh.

With lots of love,

( sms ) i'm not really doing any like a cat promotions, and it's almost over anyway, but yeah, i've gone back to filming my drama. there are only four more episodes left, and then it's finished. it was a good experience, heh, even if bittersweet.

( sms ) we'll be busy prepaing for the family cocerts in japan, but yeah i think i'm gonna be able to make it for year-end shows! (:

[ sms - 민아 ] Thank you. But shouldn't I be the one here to listen to you? It means a lot, though! People just seem to give me a hard time lately.

[ sms - 민아 ] I see. I hope you will enjoy filming the rest of your drama. Too bad we didn't have much chance to see each other even though we promote at the same time this time round. I still need to give you your CD ㅠ_ㅠ

11. 20. 2014.

Dear journal,

These days I find myself even more unable to express my thoughts. I just..don’t know how. I’m blocking all the pains, because I’m scared of facing them, and I’m scared that If I start talking to someone about it, I’d feel them again and I don’t have strength to fight back. Mina said that It’s a bad idea, but I can’t let myself break down right now. Apink girls, they need me. Our fans need me. So the only thing for me to do is put a smile on my face and try my best, and hoping that being busy would keep me away from the thing that is eating me alive.

I’m thankful for Mina, though. Even though we both have been busy and we haven’t had time to meet, but she texts and calls to check up on me. She’s one of the few people that I can somewhat tell the things inside my head, and she listens. She always has, and I hope she knows how thankful I am towards her, that she is there for me. I don’t have a lot of girl friends, and she’s someone I know I can trust. I hope she doesn’t feel me annoying sometimes, for always going to her about relationship problems, but hey, It’s not gonna happen anymore. I’m happy, and a very small part of me is envious of her relationship with Daehyun. They are a great couple. I thought we would be able to be like them, too, holding each other’s hand and getting through all the obstacles that come to our ways. But It didn’t happen. We let go. We gave up on each other. 

I’m going to see Mina tomorrow at the first comeback stage, I hope they will win again, they deserve it! I know how much Mina’s been wanting these awards, so I will give AOA my best support. I’ll definitely go say hi to her backstage tomorrow, with a big smile on my face and tell her that hey Mina, I’m getting better, I’m smiling again. She’d like that, right?

( sms ) thursday, m! countdown. pls look forward!

[ sms - 민아 ] So you guys come back a week earlier than us.

[ sms - 민아 ] Busy, tired, stressed out because of comeback. But happy at the same time that I get to be on stage again.