#;peptalks

He turned, as if he had heard me. For a second our eyes held, and I felt a shock run through me. I jerked my gaze away, and busied myself with my bread. My cheeks were hot, and my skin prickled as if before a storm. When, at last, I ventured to look up again, he had turned back to his table and was speaking to the other boys.After that, I was craftier with my observation, kept my head down and my eyes ready to leap away. But he was craftier still. At least once a dinner he would turn and catch me before I could feign indifference. Those seconds, half seconds, that the line of our gaze connected, were the only moment in my day that I felt anything at all. The sudden swoop of my stomach, the coursing anger.I was like a fish eyeing the hook.

Whoever said that loss gets easier with time was a l i a r. Here’s what really happens: The spaces between the times you miss them grow l o n g e r. Then, when you do remember to miss them again, it’s still with a s t a b b i n g pain to the heart. And you have guilt; guilt because it’s been too long since you m i s s e d them last.

                             We are  t h r e a t e n e d  with  s u f f e r i n g                                                      from three directions:

they say the world ends not in a bang but a whimper; that everything is balanced at last but I know that's a bunch of bullshit and lies that people tell you to prepare you; the world ends how it wants to end. bloody or clean, loud or quiet, but it just so happened mine went with a broken plea and the help of a friend. my world ended in a bang, and now I'm left to whimper.