“Oh gods, please don’t rape me!”
“I... wasn’t... planning on it...”
“Don’t leave me by the side of the road bloody, bruised, and defiled... barely able to walk, yet shamefully aroused. My conceptions of intimacy and physical affection unalterably broken. I’ll grow up to be a filthy, self-loathing whore; insatiable but never able to love. It would be a... tragedy...”
“...What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Cornelia, why would you run off like that? What’s wrong with you?”
“It’s okay, Nel, all you need to do is tell me about your tragic backstory then we can have a good cry, I can teach you about friendship, and you can join the main cast of my story! You might even get your own story, that happens sometimes.”
“Fine. Ever since I was a little girl, there was one thing I’ve been really self-conscious about...”
“I... Don’t have a tragic backstory.”
“Do you have any idea what it’s like being an anti-hero with zero backstory? Nobody takes you seriously! Everyone’s always like, ‘Eh, you’re just a normal kid who grew up in the idyllic paradise of your peaceful small town, you’ve got no reason to be angry.’ And you wanna know what really pissed me off...? They were right. So I decided that if the world wouldn’t give me a tragic backstory, I’d make my own!”
“I started encouraging Auriel to go to Levante to get to know our dad; he thought he was pursuing his dreams, but he was a fucking idiot! Then I concocted this plan to get close to Giada and let her use me as her substitute for Auriel!”
“Because, then, when everyone found out what happened, it would look like the sweetest, most supportive, most badass kid in the family was taken advantage of by her own big sister, who groomed her into a codependent relationship and broke her to the point where she couldn’t legitimately live without her big sister within arm’s reach! It’s the most tragic backstory ever!”