#;.ic...d.r.a.b.b.l.e

———This was meant to just be a calm, mandative trip up to the cliffs overlooking the sea, where only the sounds of water lapping at the distant ground below while the wind carried it up. There were some trees clustered at the top of this cliff. If there were more soil than rock, she might have considered this a good place to set up, but that wasn’t the case. Rosalia had no wish to force these trees to expand into the rocks where there’s no nutrients, nor to constantly feed them with energy just to keep them alive.

———Eyes closing as the distant lapping of water filled her ears, she carefully seated herself against the tree that was closest to the edge. This was the time to be calm & relaxed. This day meant nothing to her.

                                                       Nothing...

———A faint ringing sound filled her ears, making her wince; it wasn’t true noise, but it still hurts in a dim sort of way. Within that ringing sound, one could almost swear that there were muffled words.

                             “Stop, pl-”                                                    “-don’t hurt-”                        “-pathetic wretches-”

———❝Ngh. . .❞ Squeezing her eyes tightly, she tried to ignore them. The words were nothing more than fragments - they weren’t real. Not anymore. Yet they grew louder, more clearer. Unconsciously she’d clutch at her head as the intensity continued to climb higher, images flashing against her closed lids. Even when she opened her eyes to escape them, they only followed, the scene flashing from reality to past.

                     This is not real. . . NOT real. . .

———Despite the constant reminder that this was nothing more than another episode of flashbacks, it did nothing to quell the onslaught. The smell of iron was invading her nose in spite of the strong breeze coming from the sea. Trees were pillars or rubble, flashing to the temple that was supposed to be her family’s sanctuary.                        It was turned into a slaughterhouse. . .

———She didn’t want to see this, yet she had little control over these flashbacks. Sometimes, they’re triggered by the smallest detail; other times, they seemed to simply happen. These weren’t controlled. But what was to be done about it? Nothing, except to scream internally as she tried to cling to the fact that reality was this cliff, the tree against her back, not the flashbacks.                                              They’re already dead...!                                                           “-just cleaning up the filth-”

———When had she gotten to her feet was a mystery, though with that murderer’s voice making itself louder, it was getting to be too much. Rage, grief, they filled her thoughts once again as the flashbacks invaded her senses, confusing reality with the scenes. She wanted to run, she wanted to attack — there was so much that her mind screamed to do in that instant.

                             Too much. . . just too much. . !

———❝Stop. . .❞ She couldn’t see, couldn’t remember her surrounding as her feet carried her along. There was no staying still, not while the screams of her children kept repeating, followed by the sounds of a sneering voice of someone that she once claimed as her son. The blank eyes that stared at nothing even as the expressions held shock & terror. Everything Malshano had done was deliberately done to inflict as much pain onto her as he can, & they were deeply seeded into her mind where information was not easily forgotten.

———Unable to shake the vision, finding it all following her as though she was running towards the scene even when she knew she had turned away, there was desperation growing to escape this personal hell. The irrational urge to attack the mocking man as Silvia laid at his feet while rapidly dissolving from the Void essence was strong, so strong. Rage built at knowing that he wasn’t even physically here, even while her mind screamed that he was. Everything was blending into a seamless line - what even was real for the likes of her?

———The breeze felt fainter, the one piece of reality that had kept contact with her this whole time. There was no sense of direction to follow, not when she’s so clouded by pain of the physical & emotional kind. Only when her foot found no ground did she realize that she couldn’t even tell direction of a slope, plummeting from the edge as the ringing grew louder still. Useless as it was, her remaining wing had snapped out instinctively to catch air, doing nothing more but spinning her out of control in the fall. 

———Then, everything stopped as she painfully plunged beneath the surface of the water, landing left shoulder first. Salt stung her eyes, her nose. Her wing felt like it had just been twisted around by a hurricane. Her shoulder & neck, bruised from the impact of water. Lungs were burning, the impact having knocked all the air from her body. Dizzy & disorientated, she had a difficult time finding up from down. Even when she had finally reached the surface as spots of black had started filling her vision, her chest ached badly as she drew air in, hacking water out, almost gagging.

Maybe it’s pitiable if anyone were to know what went on any time she made an attempt to sleep, at least on purpose. How fractured her peace of mind truly was. Yet... it couldn’t be helped. 

Because every time she tried to sleep, to close her eyes for longer than a few minutes. . . she would see their last moments. How swiftly their lives were snuffed out by such a mad creature that she herself brought into the realm. . . how casually done it was.

❝You’re just in time, mother.❞

Those words still echoed on occasion within her thoughts whenever her mind brought her to those moments. Such shame it brought to her that she was, in a way, responsible for everything. . .

Warning: implied mutilation, though it’s not written out.

❝...Thorn.❞

This was perhaps the first time Rosalia had even uttered a word after falling silent - her voice was still hoarse from cursing & screaming earlier, when she wasn’t crying instead. The loss was... hard on the deity, more so than on the one that she called her twin. Thornara had no true bonds to regret losing, unlike the other... though she, too, felt a pang of loss. Eldria had been her home, as well. While she had retreated away from the raging guardian, the twin had returned once things were silent, grumbling as she tried to see to her own wounds.

So the dark-haired twin turned her gaze to the other, frowning as she tried to figure out what was even going on through that head of hers. ❝Yeah? Gonna finally let me take a look at you?❞

Thorn had tried to see to Rosa’s wounds, but the woman was not reasonable at the time, so she was feeling a little stung & sullen at the refusal. Not that she was in a hurry to do so - even Thorn would grimace with a glance to the mutilated wing, drooping to the side like Rosalia couldn’t even feel it. Maybe she couldn’t, for all Thorn knew. 

Rosalia couldn’t - or maybe wouldn’t - meet her twin’s eyes, staring instead at the ground. ❝...yes. But you... need to remove this first.❞ As though to specify what she meant, she’d shift the half-consumed wing from its position, though it was a strain that showed in her expression. ❝It is useless... I can only feel this... burning sensation... where the consumer had stopped at.❞

With an raised eyebrow, Thorn wouldn’t comment immediately, though eventually a sigh left her. Of course she’s only wanted to do the dirty work. Yet maybe she couldn’t blame Rosalia for looking to her for this. Who else was she going to go to now?

❝Once upon a time, I’d have been ecstatic to cause that kind of damage, but man I’m not feeling that wholesome glee while looking at you now.❞

There wasn’t a response, not even a crack of a reluctant smile, so Thorn muttered under her breath as she moved close, undoing the armor that still clung to Rosa - they had both been wearing such protection, & even the darker twin would admit that it probably helped save her own life. But they’re in the way, & so was the shirt.

This was going to get bloody real quick.

❝Lay on your stomach; it’s gonna be bad enough with you being awake for this, but I’m not about to deal with your flails.❞ Seeing the wince in the other’s face, Thorn relented with a sigh. Comfort was not something she’s used to, whether giving or receiving. ❝I’ll make it as quick as possible, a’right?❞

❝...alright.❞

Once she was in position on the ground, made as comfortable as possible, Thorn placed one knee & part of her weight onto the mid-part of Rosa’s back, the other knee on the side, doing her best to keep the other pinned securely even as she felt the guardian tense up beneath her. Well, tough - she could see that the consumer’s bite had done more damage than eating half a wing. Cursing audibly, she traced her claws to the points on the back where the damage had spread to. 

❝Your son is one hell of a sadistic asshole. This is gonna need a little gouging from your back too, but at least that’s recoverable.❞

❝Just... do it.❞

With some of her own shirt ripped off & wrapped around a relatively strong stick, Thorn leaned close to her twin’s face to offer it to her. Once it was taken from her hand & bitten onto in preparation, the creature sighed as she stared down at the damaged appendage she was about to take away. She had nothing but her own claws... but these were all she had to offer.

     ❝. . . .❞

     Quietly, somewhat still shocked from disbelief, the deity surveyed what had once been the progress of her home. It was nothing more than scattered rocks, loose dirt & broken lumber amidst the spires of earth that had erupted from the ground throughout the small cut of wilderness she claimed as her own, piercing through anything that were in the way.

     These flashbacks were becoming dangerous. It was not so bad if only herself was damaged as she couldn’t tell the difference between reality & the past that took hold of her mind - but what if someone had been near during this. . ? It wouldn’t matter if she could heal them entirely of their wounds or even bring them back from the brink of death if it were severe enough - just because she could reverse the harm didn’t negate the fact that she had caused it in the first place.

Fingering the new little charm she made, she wondered exactly how well the enchantment would work. While she doubted that she would even have to worry about consequences from the result of...intimacy, as averse as she were to them now... it seemed best to stay ahead of that particular action.

No one was certain what would come in a year or so.

But at least this way, Rosalia wouldn’t have to worry about possible children at this point. Not until she actually wanted them. Snapping the tiny charm onto the bracelet, she felt only the slightest warmth of its magic envelope her before fading - good. It seemed to be working.

She doesn’t trust doctors and their sharp instruments, their strange chemical substances that replaced herbal medication. While she may have to put herself in the hands of one someday, it wouldn’t be for something that should only be temporary anyway. Her wing, on the other hand... there was no saving it. That, she would have to attempt to put her trust in an doctor of some kind... but the insides of her? She just couldn’t.