It finally felt like there was a break in the cloud that had been hanging over Shane since the fight with Ilya. He really thought for a horrendous moment he'd ruined everything, that he would never be able to fix the damage from months of allowing himself to be convinced that Ilya was okay, but now there was some real hope. They'd promised to talk when they were back, promised to keep a little distance for now, and it gave him time to get his thoughts lined up.
He'd started a list in his notes, all the things he wanted to apologise for and all the things he wanted them to do going forward. It probably wasn't the most romantic thing, but it organised his brain, and he'd felt like he could breathe a little easier when they boarded their flight back to Montreal. As always, he was sitting next to Hayden, he was asleep, and Shane was taking the time to watch one of Rose's films he'd not had a chance to see from the early days of her career. It was awful. He was midway through a particularly terrible scene when he felt his stomach lurch. He pulled out a headphone and noticed Hayden was now awake, his expression mirroring his own.
That was when three things happened in quick succession. Another lurch, a bang and then yelling. Shane felt his entire body freeze, fear gripping him as he tried to register what the pilot was saying over the panicked passengers and commanding yells of the flight attendants. Fear had clawed its way into his veins, turning his blood cold, and his mind was horrifically empty with only one thought circling. We're going to die.
It's only when a flight attendant shakes his shoulder, asking him to secure his seatbelt, that he's pulled out of his daze and notices he's already gripping his phone. He shakily opens it and sees the notes he made earlier. Shane thinks about just taking his phone out of aeroplane mode, of ringing the only person he wants to talk to and seeking out comfort, but he knows it's selfish, so he settles for turning on the wifi. The best he can do right now is a message. He doesn't know how he can possibly put everything into a message, but he begins typing as he feels another lurch alongside a notice that they will be attempting an emergency landing.
shanehollanderofficial:
I love you more than anything. I'm sorry if I ever made you sad. I need you to know I love you and I've always loved you. You're the bravest, funniest and kindest person I know. Thank you for letting me see all those sides of you, thank you for saying yes to the cottage and to me. I need you to keep being brave, to be there for Mom and Dad. They love you so much, too, and they need you. Tell them I love them, tell them thank you and that I couldn't have asked for better parents. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I will always choose you. No matter what. I choose you.
He feels a small sob escape him as he hits send, clutching the phone against his chest as he braces himself and sees Hayden's hand reach for his. His fingers curl against his best friends, both holding onto each other wordlessly, and they wait.
