#& flashback

Derek was making his way to the stairs to head up, until he was yanked by the collar. Shoved to the wall and pinned with his father’s arm on his neck line. Nothing new there, but Derek honestly didn’t do anything to make the man mad for weeks now. “What the hell is this Derek?” The harsh tone of his father’s voice echoed as he was shown the bag and his pipe. 

“Th-that’s not mine.” Derek stumbled over his words, until the arm turned into a tight grip of the man’s hand. From previous beatings, Derek learned that he couldn’t show any emotion, he couldn’t show that he was weak. Every encounter was a cold stare and just letting the beatings happen. 

“Bullshit, I found it in the disaster of your room.” The man spoke again as he pushed Derek down to his knees. A swift kick to his side had Derek groan in pain. Then the pull of his hair happened and he was dragged closer to the basement door. “You want to smoke trash, and feel like shit. Here you fucking go.” The door was opened and Derek was brought to his feet only to be shoved half way down the stairs. “Learn your lesson” 

Looking up, the shadow of the door closing had Derek get back to his feet and rush up stairs to stop it. But he was too late as it closed and the click of the lock happen. He started to pound on the door hard, calling out for his father. “DAD! DAD! Don’t fucking do this! Please-” He yelled out as his fist was balled. Pounding, knocking and then trying the handle as if it was magically unlocked. “I’m sorry..I won’t do it again. I promise-” Derek was crying out for the man’s attention for a solid two minutes. 

Their basement wasn’t in the greatest condition and it was just storage for the most part that collected cob webs. Derek kept his voice quiet after the cries and stayed at the top of the steps next to the door to hear the next foot steps. When he did, he desperately turned the door knob, calling for his father again. “DAD!” The door opened suddenly only for his father to stand tall and scary, punching Derek scare in the face, sending his tumbling down the whole set of stairs. He was trying to gain balance as he lifted up to his elbow. Looking up the stairs just to see the shadow of the father figure. His body was trembling and he couldn’t help but show the weakness as the words didn’t come out. 

“Shut the fuck up, you worthless piece of shit.” Derek closed his eyes tight to hold back the tears as the door was slammed shut. He finally got to his feet to pull at the string to the light. It wasn’t the first time he was called a piece of shit, or worthless. But he didn’t expect this level of violence or the fact that he was just shunned off in the basement for god knows how long. It all depended on when his father felt like opening the door again. 

Seeing some of the boxes, he noticed some of his older stuff. Pictures and toys from his younger days. He had a picture of him and his father, both in baseball shirts and hats but what he hated from the picture was the smile on his dad’s face. It seemed so fake to him now. How was this man different from the picture? What happened? He started thinking to the fact that his mother married this guy. Was she hurt as well? Did she even recognize or notice the struggle in the house? 

Tearing the pictures into pieces from frustration, Derek sat down in the corner after pulling out an old blanket from his grandma. His body ached, but what hurt the most was the idea of being locked away, being nothing to the man upstairs. He felt like no one cared and for the first time he felt useless, like his whole life was just nothing. Derek curled into a ball and started crying, tears poured out from the countless beatings, the emotional toll in his head, and feeling ultimately alone and worthless in the world. He cried himself to sleep that night and as another day past. Derek heard the door open. 

He didn’t believe it at first but he moved to the stairs with cautious. The light shining through had Derek concerned, scared. But he moved to open the door, soon moving to the kitchen to get something to eat and then to his room. After the events over the weekend, when he finally saw his mother Derek felt a little safe to see her face. Though the questions still ran through his head as she asked him.