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We talked SIDCU. We talked Everyone Else In Denial Cinematic Universe (EEIDCU or TOICU [Town Of Idiots Cinematic Universe]?).

How about WWRCU (We Were Roomates Cinematic Universe)? Meaning: Red Snow definitely dated, they did all the couple things, all the domestic things, all the true love sacrificial things, all the romantic shit.... but they thought "that's just what friends do!"

Because none of them had had a close friend before and, well, this is friendly kissing! Gal Pals! Don't you do that with your friend? Don't you sleep with her? Don't you devote your life to her? Don't you keep each other warm in winter nights with just your body heat? Isn't that the usual friend stuff?

GALAXY BRAIN! Red and Snow as gals being the very best and most domestic of pals a la Xena/Gabrielle. Except even more unaware.

It starts absolutely normal, because it’s cold and they sleep outside and so they get used to sleeping right next to each other. Very close. Maybe sometimes one of top of the other. It’s all for warmth.

Also oh no, you are right. Neither had any “normal” friendships. Everybody always did what Snow wanted and Red’s closest friend was Peter, until they started to kiss and talked about running away. And that only ticked this romance box, because he’s a guy. But everything else is typical, standard, platonic friendship behavior, right? (Lots of it is actually, but they always take it one nudge further without realizing where most people set boundaries.)

First of all, bathing together is very convenient and you always have someone to scrub your back. Getting warm water is a pain in the ass, why double the work? Doesn’t make sense! During meals it’s faster to share everything or maybe feed the other when you enjoy something and want to share this specific thing. Life on the road is stressful and a massage is very relaxing and it’s far better without clothes on. And who wouldn’t want to leave a little trail of kisses, because that feels good?

They are apart for half a day? Of course they greet each other with long, tight hugs. And a soft kiss to the forehead, the temple, on the cheek and eventually on the mouth? They are friends!! When they get into a town they pick up something the other will like, friends give each other gifts and sometimes that’s also just a flower to make them smile. Why should they believe that the frequency and this like need to do it matter?

Slowly they gather more stuff on their journey. Weapons, a tent, matching mugs, matching bracelets (that are friendship bracelets, not engagement rings, just because when they put them on they swear to always be there for each other - THEY’RE FRIENDS).

Red leaves for a while, because she has to check on Granny. Snow finds a stack of 14 notes, because Red said it would be two weeks tops until she returns. And when Red opens her bag there is a letter from Snow that says “when you feel homesick for your bestie”. Those are adorable little notes to show some appreciation, those are not love letters! (Not like they don’t love each other, they do, as the friends they are.)

They train together and it turns into tickle fights and those lead to cuddles being exhausted and kissing for the fun of it. What could be better? And sure, sometimes at night when one is on top of the other, and there’s a thigh pressing up and the kisses are a bit more intense... it’s not like they strip naked and do anything special (they grab each other’s boobs like twice a day during something else, there is nothing interesting about doing that at night); it just feels really good when... something happens. And they both sleep better afterwards. Almost like when one reads to the other until they fall asleep. See, friends making friends comfortable in bed is a thing for gal pals.

They can order each other’s food, they know when the other needs space for a moment or when a hug is better, the future plans always include both of them together until they’re old, they have both jumped in front of arrows or pretty much onto a sword for the other not thinking for a sec...

They are really good friends. (✿ ♥‿♥)

Can someone write me a fic where a set of their go to forged documents has them as two married couples? Steve and Nat as Matt and Caroline Robbins and Sam and Wanda as Rob and Emma Johnson or whatever. For Steve and Nat this comes terribly naturally and they already have a routine with each other. It’s a bit disturbing, but Sam can’t stop making fun of them for it. But by doing so he and Wanda create shorthands of their own.

They have other aliases and cram together in shitty apartments all over, but every once in a while it’s a nice and fun cover. And then Steve grows a bit weary, maybe they have become too used to this set-up so they switch it up. And well, he was kinda right, because this throws them off-balance, because Nat doesn’t know how Sam likes his coffee and they draw attention at the breakfast buffet.

But worse is how Wanda starts crying when Steve peels an orange and just gives her half, because he does this so exactly like Pietro would and Sam has learned to not engage in some very specific big brother behaviours. And Nat suddenly wonders if there even is a line anymore between the undercover, their lives and the missions they pick for themselves trying to find remnants of Hydra and just helping out wherever.

On the flip side there is that one time they do follow a wealthy shady douchebag possibly dealing weapons to a super fancy beach resort. And looking around at the last second Nat realizes what seems a bit off with the couples everywhere and they have to switch it up once more, but the gay way. And well, Sam doesn’t mind the jealous looks he gets when Steve puts lotion on his back at the pool. Also all of them wear suits and nobody complains about inconvenient footwear like at the last cocktail party they snuck into.

Ah yes, people start putting on cute scarves, warmer boots and actual jackets, but no, Miss Lucas out there in tiny tank tops and her hot pants. Regina is sitting somewhere, thinking about the way Ruby always looked on the neverending same day-ness “nailed it” (in more ways than one, madame).

Halloween decorations? Ruby has so much energy, she also draws up plans for Thanksgiving and Christmas, while she’s at it. Granny hates it. But she also loves exploiting this by making Ruby do all the things around the house. Finally she will sort through the boxes in the... garage... cellar... whereever, who cares.

Wolfstime on Halloween? Perfect! Well, that’s what Ruby thinks. But imagine this, Zelena raising Robin in Storybrooke and 8 year old Robin being all “I’m so grown-up already, I can go trick-or-treating alone.” So naturally the way around it is being taken by Aunt Ruby, right. And Robin just pouts, because being The Wolf isn’t a costume, duh. And then there is this fun montage the night before with Regina trying out different dog costumes via magic. What if Robin is in her dinosaur phase?! Ruby has to match, that’s for sure.

When Robin knocks on Snow’s door, Snow suddenly has rain on her face. There wasn’t Halloween back home, but seeing Ruby with this little blonde girl... yeah, well, the things that should’ve been. Anyway, Ruby growls so Robin gets all the best candy.

They all have to meet, which isn’t actually that difficult. It starts with a bunch of tiny scenes. Claire in an Umbrella laboratory where the mad scientists don’t just study viruses and mutations anymore. A weird machine, a *zap* and off she is. For Emily it’s a trip to the Void, now in total chaos with the Outsider gone and she exits elsewhere. Aloy is kinda the same as Claire, but the tech is of course ancient and broken, not shiny and new. Chell is free and her gear shouldn’t work at all outside of Aperture, but oops, there is a malfunction and a portal opens, but she didn’t put up the other side and she’s pulled in. Evie hunts a Templer with an artifact, they fight, a portal opens *tada*. Mercy just answered the Recall, she is out here for the first time in forever, following her team into a newly emerged Omnic nest. And so another *zap*. Heather has returned home. Everything is terrible. Her dreams are still restless and filled with nightmares. The siren sounds, but she doesn’t get transported to the usual other world. Plugging Zelda from the OoT-world there is just a magical portal for once, she thinks it might be witchcraft and she was looking for Link, but oops. And lastly Cortana, which is a bit weird. Let’s say a fragment of her is transported via source code, so she “lives” in a piece of tech as her confused holo self (Heather gets to wear her). As for Lara, well she is on a very normal adventure, wanting to explore a particular island that shouldn’t exist (set before SotTR).

They all find themselves on the beach of this weird island. A tropical jungle that morphs into a deep dark forest, a mountainside with ancient ruins, a medieval castle, different temple structures... nothing makes sense and we get all the nice videogame locations. Since I am not writing this, I don’t know what exactly they find at the end. Some kind of multidimensional omniverse god-creature that tries to guard the spark of all life and needs help... whatever. Who cares? It’s a set-up for a bunch of fun scenes for self-indulgence.

Like when they come to a cliff and the only way is up. Lara grabs her pick-axe and Evie is all like “gonna race you” (it’s what Jacob would say), They start and Emily smirks and uses Far Reach to pull herself to a ledge above them. All the while Chell is touching the wall, inspecting it, to then shoot her portal gun, creating an easy passagway (of course the gun won’t work everywhere for dramatic reasons). Meanwhile Mercy has been fiddling with her Valkyrie suit this whole time and is happy to finally have calibrated it, so she can guardian angel up top, using any of the others as her anchor. “This is gonna be a wild trip”, Claire mutters to herself.

Speaking of Mercy, there is gonna be that one super dramatic moment, where one of them dies by either taking a fatal blow for somebody else or pushing someone to safety. Tears and angst and all and Mercy than goes “heroes never die”. It drains every last bit of energy she painstakingly built up, but it works. (Another reason not to write this, I have four different shipping versions of this scene in my head already, because there is an “you idiot” *hug+smooch* afterwards.....)

Cortana making sarcastic remarks from the sideline. Chell giving her the evil eye for that. Evie and Emily trying to out-sneak each other. The first enemy they encounter is probably a deku scrub and Heather and Claire think it’s rather cute. While Aloy later wonders if she can overwrite a sentry turret (from Portal)... And then the obligatory campfire moment with the most awkward conversation about parents. (So many dead parents, but also kinda no parents to begin with. Heather and Aloy can bond over that. Like Claire and Evie over having stupid brothers.)

kNEELING AS A SYMBOL IS THE GREATEST THING AND I CRIED. legit. wow. that alone is filled with enough angst to power a sad sad city. i love it. And Red not being able to look Snow in the eyes? my poor heart. i can't take this anymore. take me somewhere bright. tell me of the first time emma gets to run with ruby, and the first time in a while both of them really feel happy, i want to cry more

What is this “happy” you talk about? I don’t know her...