DENPAMATICA FUCK I DONT KNOW (BLANKET TW; TREAD CAREFUL)
PREALPHA "FUCKYOUDAD" V0.0.1 IS NOW STARTED, YIPPIE. MY FOOD STAMPS DONT COME IN UNTIL MONDAY. SHIT SUCKS, BUT AT LEAST I CAN GET SOME MONSTERS AND MOUNTAIN DEW EVENTUALLY. PLUS THOSE ALANI THINGS MY BROTHER LIKES, HE LIKES THE SUGAR FREE ONES, HE REALLY LIKES ZERO COKE/PEPSI. I GOT ALMOST MY WHOLE UPPER ARM. MY DAD WAS TRYING TO BE BUDDY BUDDY EARLIER FUCKING LOSERRR STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLE. WHATEVER I DONT EVEN CARE ITS TOTALLY NOT LIKE IVE BEEN SEEKING MY FATHERS VALIDATION MY WHOLE LIFE DUE TO MY EMOTIONALLY DISTANT UPBRINGING AND THAT CONVERSATION DEFINITELY DIDNT DESTROY ME AND ANY HOPES OF EVER BEING SEEN AS HIS SON. I HOPE HE FINDS MY BODY IF I KILL MYSELF. I HATE MY PARENTS. COMPUTER MAKE MY DAD FEEL GUILT AND REMORSE. NOW GIVE HIM SELF AWARENESS. ACTUALLY HE'LL OVERHEAT AND BLOW UP, DONT DO THAT. I WONDER WHAT THE RAIN FELT LIKE ON THE BRIDGE. I WONDER WHAT MY PARENTS WOULD DO IF THEY FOUND ME BLEEDING OUT ON THE FLOOR. HOW MUCH DO THEY VALUE ME OVER THEIR MORALS. THEIR BELIEFS. THEIR IGNORANCE. DO I MATTER IN COMPARASION TO THE IMAGES THEY MUST UPHOLD.
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I WANT TO TASTE STEEL. STEEL. I WANT TO FEEL WHOLE, FULL, I WANT TO BE OKAY. WHY DFOES EVERYBODY HAVE TO TRY AND MAKE THAT GHARDER THAN IT EVER HAD TO BE. I HATE THIS HOUSE ANDTHIS TOWN AND I HOPE SOMEONE FU KING KILLS MY ASS IN THE STREET IM SO FUCKING SERIOUS. MY ARM STILL HURTS. I WISH MY LIFE WAS COOL AND CINEMATIC SO I'D HAVE COOL THING TO SHOW YOU GUYS. I WISH I WAS BETTER AT ALL OF THIIS. GOD DAMN IT. OR ANYTHING. I HOPE THEY FIND ME DEAD AT THE BEACH WRAPPED IN PLASTIC FALLACY AND NEW ROT. IF I PUT MY CASH APP ON HERE WOULD ANYONE DONATE? I DONT KNOW, I HATE BEGGING FOR MONEY CAUSE OF THE WAY I WAS RAISED, BUT I DONT KNOW HOW MUCH OF A CHOICE I HAVE IN THIS HOUSE HONESTLY. I HATE IT HERE.
PRE-ALPHA "ALEXANDRIA" V0.0.15 HAS BEEN ADDED. NEED TO FIX PASSWORD AREA. LOLOLOLOL I THINK IM GONNA JUST ABSOLUTELY DESTROY MY OTHER ARM. FUCK I MEAN I DESERVE IT UNTIL I FEEL AS BAD AS I SHOULD OR SOMEONE ELSE DOES. SOMEONE HAS TO SUFFER, AND MY MARTYRDOM COMPLEX IS CLAWING AT THE BARS OF ITS ENCLOSURE. DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO GET INTO SELF FLAGELLATION? LIKE SERIOUSLY, I NEED WHIPS THAT CVT. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGG MY ARM HURTS TOO MUCH NEED TO STOP MOVING TRANSMISSION OUT I GUESS FUCK.
