coming back soon

no matter what happens… i’ll never regret the day i started watching rooster teeth/achievement hunter

welp this has aged poorly

My friend, whom I love dearly, found out that the moon orbits the earth as a 20-year-old in an upper-level political science class, and was utterly and completely flabbergasted. When questioned, her defense was that she doesn’t have anything to do with the moon, so why would she have needed to know?

i was once talking to a friend of mine about how at that point in time you could see mars, jupiter, and venus at the same time, which was pretty cool, and she said “where’s pluto? wait, it was destroyed” and that’s how i found out that my friend, who is in her third year of a medical degree, thought that pluto stopped being a planet because it was eaten by a black hole.

God what i would give for any man to show me his soft belly

ppl who don't get cats will try to argue that cats don't love you meanwhile cats will cry and cry and cry and cry like the world is ending until you hold them like a baby and give them a kissy on their perfect lil forehead

sooooo can yall help me determine if this is a fireable offense

a lady just came in asking if we have oat milk and we dont so i said “our soy milk is pretty good though, thats what i use in my drinks!” and she looked at me and went “yknow soy milk lowers a mans sperm count” and without thinking i just went “cant lose something you never had”

youre laughing. i got called a soy boy and youre laughing

Pinnocchio could tell us so much about the universe. He could randomly claim things like, “The Big Bang happened,” and his nose would confirm or deny our theories.

Pinocchio’s not omniscient, you stupid fucking redditors, his nose grows when he’s intentionally being dishonest.

things heating up in the pinocchio fandom

u all ever lose the ability to socialize in the middle of a convo like.... ok i’m done now there’s no more words in here brain shutting off

Every single one of these pictures is excellent

HOLD ON THE BRITISH VERSION OF THE DOLLAR STORE IS CALLED POUNDLAND???

it’s like rock paper scissors: baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby

people who say “I block for spam liking” like damn sorry that you hate joy. Every time someone goes through and likes 3829278 posts on my blog I’m filled with a love and power that you will never know and I pity you