baby, you're a haunted house

hello hello hello! tis i, daisy, with kang taehyun, who if you squint, you might recognize. i wanted to post this earlier but i am a slave to capitalism and just now got to hop on to make my intro! anyway, tae’s the first born of the kang family, set to inherit the k palace empire, and also uhhhh an all around mess. i’ll put more about him under the read more but you all know what to do! give this a like if you’d like to me send a message about plotting but i much prefer discord! you can find me @ daisydaisy#5293 but if you’re more comfy, we can stick to tumblr ims. now, onto a read more with the vital information for this fuck of a boy! 

taehyun is no stranger to being subjected to police questioning. there have been plenty of times where he had been in the wrong place at the wrong time or causing mischief that the cops had been called to or, you know... the whole building incident. all those times were understandable. he was not exactly squeaky clean in the past and it made sense for the police to ask about his involvement. but taehyun is trying to change. his days of being out of control and causing trouble were (for the most part) behind him. sure, he'd get too drunk sometimes and have to stagger home from a bar or take a pill or two in some club bathroom to have a fun time. for the most part though, taehyun really was trying to turn it all around.

"uhhh," he started. the clock on the wall was ticking loud enough to distract him from the question at hand, a bead of sweat on the officer's forehead catching taehyun's eye and taking away his focus even more.

he had an image to uphold. sure, he had one to maintain when he was in his reckless years, but he was nearing 30 now. his father had lost almost all respect for him, he was almost certain his siblings thought lower than low of him, any classmates or peers from his past saw him fall from grace. he was trying to make all of it better now. he wanted his father to trust him again and see that he is still good, somewhere, maybe deep down.

"i had a couple of drinks, yeah." no, he shouldn't admit to that. be smart taehyun. "i wasn't blacked out or anything." stop being so aggressive, they'll think something's up. they'll see you as a menace, a bad influence, a criminal. taehyun looks up at the clock and sees that hardly any time has passed at all even though it felt like he had been sitting in the interrogation room for hours.

he says the first person he can think of. "seoha. chae seoha." taehyun swallows thickly, blinks a few times to clear his head and think quickly on his feet. "she was the last person i talked to at the event." his finger tap nervously on his leg underneath the table. "we were talking at the bar before i left. we hit it off so i got her number and then we parted ways."

the rain is cold as it soaks through taehyun’s jeans, his knees getting increasingly more numb as the wind cuts through the fabric. his bike is going fast, maybe too fast, he can’t really tell. he isn’t paying attention anymore to the things around, instead getting lost in his thoughts as the seoul street pass around him. lights flashing, horns honking, people laughing and screaming in all walks of life. all he’s focusing on is how hard his hands are gripping the handles of his motorcycle, his knuckles straining against the leather of his gloves. 

he really had been trying to be better. taehyun had spent most of his lonely nights trying to forget why his brain felt like static and the rain is a nice distraction tonight. his night started at a dinner with a few old friends, lowkey and easy. he made sure not to get his bar tab too high; he has some semblance of an image to uphold after all. as nice as the rain may be, it’s not enough. the bottle of vodka clinking around in his backpack are the distraction he needs.

it’s almost a surprise even to him when he ends up parking his bike outside of hwanhee’s place, backpack strap slung over his shoulder and tracks of rain falling down the sides of his cheeks. his hair is plastered against his forehead sending droplets on his eyelashes, into his eyes. knocking on his brother’s door seems daunting in a way he never expected it to be, the sound echoing in his head at the same beat as his heart: too fast and too strong. the door opens and he just knows how dejected he must look based on his brother’s face alone.

i never thought i’d see the day, where i’d just let you go, let you walk away.

his hands were shaking. taehyun didn’t know if it was because of the cold he had just come in from or the nerves (it was definitely the nerves). the bar was loud, patrons dressed in their trendy outfits and shiny shoes that definitely didn’t belong in the bars taehyun normally went to. those bars were a bit more gritty; there was more of a change that your shoes would get stuck to the floor from spilt drinks than stay pristine. he was more comfortable in bars like that. he could blend in a bit more.

this one felt a bit more like neutral ground. the faces around him were unfamiliar and it wasn’t often he’d run into anyone he knew here. for the most part, the prices weren’t high enough and the shelves didn’t carry the top liquors that people from his “circle” typically liked. it felt more like a fresh start here than anywhere else he could have picked. the condensation on the side of his drink dripped onto the back of his hand that was wrapped around the glass. he took a sip, looked around. set the glass back down on the table. 

he was nervous. anxious. this would be the first time he’d seen jiahn in years. memories of smiles were replaced with sounds of metal scraping and screams and taehyun had to stay away. he couldn’t look his old friend in the face, not after everything that happened. not after the guilt ate through taehyun until nausea became his new normal. taehyun started picking at the skin on the sides of his fingernails, zoning out while looking at the table, tried to steady his breaths.

when: 2019, post building burning where: an unknown police station

cause your life go by and your life go fast, if you’re gonna wanna fly, you’re gonna have to crash.

all she knows is that they’re off to a good start, with him offering her another drink. she’ll definitely take it. “i’d like one,” seoha answers, taking the seat next to him. “i’ll get what he’s having,” she calls for the bartender. taehyun’s slightly scathing tone doesn’t go unnoticed, but she doesn’t speak on it, not in the way it might ruffle his feathers. 

instead, she says, “i’m lucky, then.” to an untrained eye, it might seem as if she’s being flirtatious, but seoha is hoping that taehyun knows better than to understand it in that sense; her words come from good-natured, light humor. a polite jab at trying to alleviate his negativity. her attempt at breaking the ice, which doesn’t happen that often. “it’s going to be hard for me to stay sober at this event.”

she feels a bit like a breath of fresh air. taehyun has been sitting in this funk for a while now, stewing over words he wished he could swallow back down and things he wished he could unsee and anxieties clawing at his skull that he wished would disappear. but seoha makes it feel lighter. he doesn’t know her, not really. a brief conversation here or there in school and then never seeing each other outside of events, but not enough to say they were friends. not even enough to say acquaintances. 

but here they are, mulling over gin and tonics and talking like they went way back. seoha made the atmosphere seem lighter in a way by not immediately judging taehyun’s bitter smiles and remarks. even in school, she had always been a tad bit unapproachable, known for being intimidating, but taehyun had never really thought of her that way. after all, in this special subsection of society, who couldn’t be intimidating? 

it’s odd to be talking with someone who seems so much of your opposite yet so similar at the same time. they both are the first borns which means responsibilities, pressure, power. things taehyun was trying to earn back after fucking up. both were involved in law, just with taehyun breaking it all those years ago and seoha upholding it. so far, it’s nice to be with someone who doesn’t know his whole awful story. he can just be taehyun. even with that in mind, it’s not like his bad mood has magically vanished. 

instead, steering away from complicated love lives, he says casually, “hey, you know, i’m thinking of maybe competing. racing, just for fun.” it’s no secret to taehyun that hwanhee had found a recent newfound passion for it, but it’s the first time he’d brought up anything professional. and despite their close relationship, despite the reality that hwanhee seems to be more of an adult than his older brother is, he still cares too much about what taehyun thinks about him. it’s cheesy, but how taehyun sees hwanhee, that means the world. 

it’s also why he needed to liquid courage to tell him. drinkable fire for the feeble heart. it had been a while since they’d set aside time for a heart to heart conversation (and hwanhee was so busy that he barely saw his brother’s face, save for the hotel) that every slow passing, hazy minute seemed (ironically) fleeting. 

it’s rare, to be spending quality time with his little brother. what was once a close knit companionship turned stilted like everything else seems to do. the kang brothers were inseparable, at each other’s hips growing up, with in jokes and games only they knew how to play. but in the blink of an eye, taehyun was 28, his brother not too far behind him, and they were damn near strangers. 

they are still close, just in the way you’re close with someone who you don’t really share secrets with anymore when they used to be the first person you told. close in the way that you don’t think you could name off his favorite movies anymore but have the ones he watched everyday for weeks on end as preteens engrained in your head. you’re close in the way that you know him inside out, just maybe the inside out of 15 years ago. 

but now, they get the addition of liquor. just the thing taehyun needs to get loose lipped and feeling good. it gives him an in to feel softer, more affectionate with his brother, heart on his sleeve and all that. when he drinks, his smiles come out and spread from ear to ear, full and bright and genuine. in the same vein, he drinks and his anger, his sadness, frustration come out in droves, fiery beneath his skin and trying to claw it’s way out. he’s trying to keep it all in for hwanhee’s sake, his brother doesn’t need to see that side of him. that monstrous side that gets him in trouble with his actions and his words, tonight isn’t the time for that. 

the leather of the sofa squeaks under taehyun’s palm as he rests it on the cushion to push himself up to a better sitting position. he has enough top shelf clear liquor in him to forget how to work his legs without forcing them to move. “we should stop drinking,” he mocks back to hwanhee, a playful frown pulling at his lips before he bursts into a fit of giggles with his younger brother. his face is flushed, as is hwanhee’s. he wonders off handedly if it’s from joy, anger, alcohol, or a mix of all three. 

“i’ll stop drinking when you stop pouring.” he shoots back the liquor that was just poured into his cup, gone enough that he doesn’t feel even the slightest of burn at it going down the back of his throat. he hears a laugh outside that sounds familiar enough to put him on edge but taehyun told himself he’d stop thinking about him for the time being. 

racing. his baby brother racing. taehyun has been to plenty of street races in his life, auto and moto. felt the asphalt rumble under his feet, smelt the rubber burning off of the tires as the cars sped off into the distance. felt the adrenaline rush through him as the cops chased them off of whatever alleyway they were in. he loves racing, but imagining hwanhee doing it a job, for forever? 

“professionally?” is all he can mutter out. flashes of car wrecks invade his mind unkindly and hwanhee is pouring him another drink with a grin taehyun wishes he could mirror back. his ears are getting hot and his hands are getting clammy and that guy outside really needs to stop laughing before taehyun has to go an confirm with his own two eyes that it’s him and he really doesn’t want- 

the first glass of champagne is downed in two long sips, oasis for a dry throat. she gives herself a minute or two, but her plan seems to have worked because she’s soon scanning the floor for people she knows. it takes her awhile (because there are just some individuals that seoha is acquainted with but would rather not meet), but seoha finally finds somewhat of a familiar face. 

kang taehyun, if she remembers correctly from their time at saebom together. whom she can try to hold a conversation with. besides, that’s why she’s here at this goddamn welcome party: to attempt to socialize, be the smiling “pretty” face of the chae family in front of their fledgling politician neighbors.

walking up to him, seoha taps him on the shoulder. “taehyun, right?” it’s a question, but her tone resembles a statement. “kang taehyun.”

his night has been long, draining in a way that makes his limbs feel heavy, his bones weighing him down. leave it to kang taehyun to fight with as many people that he cares about as he can at event like this one. he doesn’t mean to, truly he doesn’t. sometimes, taehyun’s emotions just get the better of him. one drink turns to three, words of niceties turn to words of pain and anger, miscommunication making his blood boil without a way to control it. 

he has thought he was over this. the gnawing in the back of his brain that tells him the worst of people. that was 2017 taehyun. the kid who didn’t care about anything but himself and his feelings only. he thought he was over that. but the green eyed monster strikes again and again and again when he least expects it and his anger takes over with no way to control it. he’s a big boy now, he should be better at dealing with his emotions, or at least concealing them.

for now, taehyun hides his feelings in the most obvious way he can: more drinks. it was actually pretty smart of him to stick to only gin and tonics for the evening instead of mixing his liquors cause that would get even messier. he’s knocking back the last bit of his sixth cocktail when he motions for the bartender for a refill. there’s still plenty of night left for an extra drink, right? it’s as he’s squeezing his lime into the drink when he hears someone call his name over his shoulder. he turns around to face them, a little clumsy but nothing taehyun couldn’t hide with a distracting hand running through his hair. 

taehyun is already sick, so haseok doesn’t figure that when he slips under the duvet that taehyun will care much of him wearing his outdoor clothes. he leaves little room for haseok on the edge of the bed, opting not to complain. up close he can see just how tired and dull taehyun’s complexion looks, even after his meal. haseok doesn’t comment, instead, pushes back the curtain of hair covering taehyun’s eyes out of the way to part his matted hair at the center of his forehead. he figures taehyun will be out any moment. “i hope you liked the stew.”

he wants to bottle it up, this moment he’s found himself in. bottle it up and put a cork in it, save it for a rainy day when he can’t stop thinking and can’t stop feeling and can’t stop his heart from telling him things he doesn’t want to hear. he sees haseok, softer than usual, softer than others see him, like it’s reserved just for the confines of taehyunandhaseok and for no one else.

it’s deceptively nice. deceivingly sweet. it’s everything taehyun could ask for and all he had to do was get the flu for it to happen. he’s won. haseok is crawling under the covers with him and it feels right. feels like the universe has clicked itself into place and aligned all the planets in every solar system up with one another perfectly and all it took was jin haseok admitting the tiniest of defeats to taehyun.

he’s not going to kid himself into thinking that it’ll stay this way, that he’ll wake up to a confession of a love that they both know is there but has yet to be said. yet to been owned up to. but they both clearly know that haseok’s hesitance is standard for whatever their doing and soon enough, taehyun will go back to pining for a man who refuses to realize that whatever power he prays to built them for one another.

but for now he’s happy, snuggling into the covers even more, warm from fever and from the body heat pressed against him. taehyun preens under the attention haseok is giving him, leans into every soft touch he’s given, feels his heart grow impossibly bigger with every look from him.

“the stew was perfect,” at this point, taehyun is fighting a losing battle against sleep. his eyelids feel like lead as he tries to keep them open just enough to look at haseok, eyes focusing in and out. “I can’t remember the last time I ate, actually.” he lets out a chuckle that turns into a hacking cough, his face buried in the pillow under him so he’s not coughing in the other man’s face.

they look at each other for a few seconds, the time seeming to pass both too quickly and too slowly. “i don’t want to go to sleep,” taehyun admits, reaching out under the covers to blindly search for haseok’s hand, settling instead on wrapping his arm loosely around his waist, pressing little circles in haseok’s back. taehyun’s body betrays him and he opens his mouth to yawn deeply. “if I fall asleep, promise you’ll wake me up.”

kang taehyun aesthetics 1/?: get to know me