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i got in touch with my therapist and here are some things she suggested, and im sure many of us can use this advice. its summarized as all hell but i hope its enough to give some good ideas if you feel lost.

-if youre in shock like me, its ok to distract yourself until you feel ready to deal with loss. binge those shows youve been wanting to see. read a series you love. if you have things to do, focus on the task at hand

-take care of your body. drink plenty of water. if youre feeling sick, eat and drink things youd normally have when sick like soup and crackers and ginger ale

-if youre heavily dissociating, focus on your breathing and on your surroundings. list everything you can see, hear, feel, smell

-keep clean. shower. use that facemask youve been saving. use expensive lotion. put essential oils in your bath. brush your teeth after every meal

-clean your space

-buy cheap candy canes and just eat them. mint helps with everything

-talk to your loved ones. this is the most important. call a relative you love but havent talked to in a while. play with your pets. tell your family whats going on, or your friends. verbalize everything you feel and if you feel nothing, its okay to say that. dont keep your feelings to yourself right now, unless you know that you deal better working through loss by yourself.

jonghyun: is there anyone, from our blue night family, that is crying alone?

not crying of pity, but asking, “why am i living like this?” is there anyone that is feeling uselessly sentimental and guilty? 

don’t be like that. i hope you think those bitter days of crying alone are the most beautiful days of your life. you’ll realize with time that your life is actually, pretty alright. i promise you. i’ll write you a guarantee! 

the most beautiful thing in the world is right now, this moment, you. don’t ever forget. 

standing up for lgbt students and minorities at large by amplifying their voices, but doing so respectfully (dec 2013)

reflecting on his appreciation for hero movies… ‘i have to protect my world’ (mar 2013)

receiving boxes of listerine after a joke comparing his deja-boo suit colors to listerine flavors went viral, during base promotions (feb 2015)

comforting a fan who was self-conscious about her name with a handwritten note at a shinee fansign (may 2015)

going to comfort a crying key during shinee’s concert at tokyo dome, but ending up crying himself (early 2015)

speaking playfully with a male listener on blue night radio (may 2015)

mentioning his gratitude for fans and listeners in creating a safe space with blue night radio (july 2015)

discussing his conversation with taemin about “gender roles, prejudices and negative views about artists, etc.” when writing pretty boy for taemin ft. kai on blue night radio  (aug 2015)

personally supporting radio guest baek young ok on blue night radio in her efforts to bring sanitary pads to low-income girls (mar 2017)

Thank you Jonghyun for everything you’ve done in your life.

Thank you for brightening so many of our own sad days when yours were still dark.

Thank you for sharing your creative, artistic vision with all of us.

Thank you for your words of suppprt to those students advocating for LGBT rights, those years ago.

Thank you for the songs you wrote for other artists in the industry.

Thank you for your radio show, Blue Night.

Thank you for supporting every member of SHINee. You all debuted so young and you helped each other stay strong and succeed.

Thank you for highlighting mental illness in various settings and conversations. We need more advocates in South Korea and your voice helped.

Thank you for supporting your family, your sister.

Thank you for sharing part of your life with us.

Thank you for making SHINee shine.

Thank you for making every day shine.

Now I want to apologize.

I am sorry we could not help you out of your own darkness.

I am sorry we could not get you the help you needed.

I am sorry so many of us took your gifts for granted.

I am sorry so many of us took you for granted.

I am sorry that we could not save you.

I am sorry that what you were stigmatized for in life, will only ve rectified in death.

I am sorry you found hell in living, when your smile, your words, your art, your existence were all heaven.

I am sorry we could not do better.

I am sorry your country did not do better.

I am sorry that so many people failed you.

I am so sorry that it all ended in this way.

You truly Inspired us all.