SocSci 11

Offline & Online Identity

I started out by describing how I think I am viewed by a stranger. I have heard that my first impression on people would be mataray or someone who isn’t that approachable. I was once told by my now close friend that she thought I was judging her on the first day of class when really, it was probably just my resting face. Then I moved on to people who know me on a more personal level. Because I am the firstborn in the family, and maybe because I am (somewhat) a reliable person, my younger siblings often come to me for help or advice, especially when they don’t feel comfortable with talking about their issues with  our parents. I think that most people and most of my relatives think I’m a relatively a wholesome person. However, I’m very different with my close friends. I’m usually sabog with them and this is also where I voice out my issues and concerns. Only my close friends know just how messed up my brain is haha.

For my online identity, I realized that I have different identities when I am using different platform. In general, I’m not that active on social media, however, I do use social media a lot. It’s just that I don’t post a lot or share a lot. The social media platform that I post most on would be instagram. My posts are honestly kind of boring. Usually it’s just about travelling or food. So for facebook, I don’t post much or share much. I probably post 5 times a year at most, which is why I consider myself to quiet on facebook. Finally, we have twitter. I used to be really active on twitter when I was younger. Now, however, I also seldom tweet. When I tweet though, it is usually just about how I manage my time horribly or how I’m tired and don’t want to do my schoolwork. 

When we given the orientation on the different options for our Binhi, it was the Bilibid prison visit that caught my attention. I immediately knew that that was the option that I wanted, probably because it sparked some curiosity in me. I only knew of what prison was like based on what I would see on television or what I would hear in the news. I had heard storied from my brother who had also done something similar to this Binhi option in their schools. My curiosity and my addiction to crime drama series made me want to this Binhi option. Luckily, I was one of the first people to pick their Binhi. On the day of the activity, I was honestly a bit nervous to meet the prisoners but I was also very eager to experience something new and to step out of the usual sheltered life that I am so used to. After all the security checks and orientations, one thing that struct me the most would be that when we entered the actual site wherein the prisoners roam, there was this big crowd of prisoners just staring at us as we went in. We were put in a room with a group of prisoners, around just as many as we were. They performed for us, we performed for them. Then we were given 1 minute to talk to each of the prisoners there. Then we were partnered up then given an hour or two to just talk. I was partnered with Cedric, who was there for homicide. He is on his 4th year of imprisonment and was 26 years old. He honestly seemed very well put together. To be honest, he was a pretty solid guy. He was very open with his life and I found him to be very wise. I found myself getting advice from him. We talked about his life as a teenager, love life and his imprisonment. It amazed me at how much his life has changed from the time he was imprisoned and the present. He talked about how during the time he committed the crime, he was at a very bad spot in his life. He had found out his wife had cheated on him with a girl and he turned to drugs and alcohol. He thought he was done for after being imprisoned. Thankfully, he met a priest who helped him turn his life around in prison. He was so grateful to the priest that he has a tattoo of him on his forearm. He told me about how he was thankful for being imprisoned because of everything that he learned. He would tell me how he would sell some things to fellow prisoners and save money so that when his younger siblings come to visit him, he would be able to give them something. I was just so amazed at how real this person was and how different the overall experience was from my expectations. The ability for a human being to change his or her life around for the better is just phenomenal.

In relation to the topic on habitus, it just shows that each of us are from different places and have different contexts. I think the experience proves that what drives human action is habitus. It was very apparent that my partner, Cedric, and I were from different contexts and we had a large difference in habitus. For example, Cedric comes from the lower class while I consider myself to come from an upper middle class family. Expectations towards an individual are different when it comes to having a difference in habitus. For example, those coming from the lower class aren’t expected to finish their education. This was exactly the case for Cedric, wherein he wasn’t able to finish High School, and it sounded like it was a normal thing for him when he was telling me about it. In contrast, those who are well off are expected to finish their education and those who aren’t able to are usually looked down on. Cedric came from an environment and time wherein dance was very in and all his peers were into it. This was the reason as to why he chose to pursue it was because of the people he was exposed to and was interacting with. On the other hand, my parents were very active in their school days and engaged in extra-curricular activities. My dad was into sports and my mom was part of the glee club. I ended up getting into sports.

Spring Awakening

Last March 29 and April 12, I watched Spring Awakening in Arete’s Hyundai Theatre. The play was set in the late 19th century and tackled the issue of sexuality for the youth. We could see how sexuality was not a topic up for open discussion during this period and that this sparked curiosity within the youth. It also tackles the issue of depression, gender roles, and heterosexuality which were present in the 19th century. I I think that the theme of the play could closely relate to the psychosexual stages of Freud and the psychosocial stages of Erikson. The play focused on a group of adolescents who were kept in the dark regarding sex and other topics that would go against religions (in their interpretation of their faith) at the time. 

We could see the gender roles just observing how it was only the men that went to school and the girls would either be seen playing or doing chores. However, we can see that there is this deviant behavior coming from the male lead, Melchior Gabor, who was an excellent student. He thirsts for knowledge and goes against societal norms through the use of science. We could see in the play that there was indeed a struggle between him and what was deemed acceptable at the time when he was on the verge of being expelled from school because of the work he made on the biology of a woman. For the female lead, Weldna, we can see that she wants to know more on her sexuality from her mother, but she can’t because the mother has a hard time talking about her regarding those things. We also have Moritz, who struggles in school and is pressured by his parents to perform well. When he wasn’t accepted for the next grade level, he ended up committing suicide. 

I think that this lines up with the adolescence period of Erikson because most of the characters are indeed, of around the same age as the adolescence period should be, and they are all forming their identity. They develop of curiosity towards themselves and then they end up limited by culture and social norms, which them creates conflict and frustration. 

For this activity, I asked one of my closest friends what she thought of me after I had thought of what she would say. I initially thought that she would think of me as someone who is kind of messed up and all over the place. I also think that I am someone who is very clumsy and is in an eternal state of cramming. I also expected her to talk about how much I tend to overthink things and how I can get really annoying when I do that. 

When I asked her what she thought of me, she described me as someone who is nice to the point that it gets annoying. She also says that she enjoys hanging out with me because I’m usually chill and I’m usually up to anything. She says that she likes asking for advice from me because I look at things rationally. She described me as someone who is dependable and someone who goes out of her way to help people she cares about. She also talks about how I am mababaw and that I have a tendency to be insecure about myself and don’t give myself the credit I deserve. 

My group was assigned “doing good” for the activity about increasing positive effect. We decided to give out lollipops to people with motivational and positive messages attached to them.

How did your increasing positive affect activity make you feel?

I was happy that I was able to make people smile and to hear that the quotes attached to the lollipops were cute. It was nice to make people smile and feel appreciated through such a small act of kindness. I understand now why doing good does increase positive effect in the self and even in others. 

What are your thoughts, feelings, and realizations about this activity?

Gratitude Journal

March 1, 2019

What I'm thankful for today:

English Free cut Last night, my English professor announced that we wouldn't meet for today's session and the deadline of my the paper we were supposed to submit today was moved to Monday! I was happy because I was gonna cram edit my draft that night and he posted the announcement before I got a chance to edit the paper. It made me so relieved and gave me more time to improve my paper to get a better score. I hung out with some blockmates during my freecut and ate at JSEC!! yahu!!  

Friends I hung out with blockmates for lunch and it was nice to just hang out without worrying to much about school work, especially since it was a friday, the end of the week. After, I was able to meet up with some high school friends whom I really missed. We talked about our college lives over a meal and I just felt really happy to see them again and catch up with them. I was thankful that I had friends from high school who go out of their way to meet me. wahh I missed them so much :((

The past week, I have learned from class that there are many factors that can contribute and affect one’s development. In on of our discussions, we discussed how globalization and localization also plays a role in forming one’s identity. The infograph above represents my local and global identity, some negative and positive parts of the identities. 

"What thoughts and attitudes, feelings, experiences, do you have about these hybrid identities?"