I consider my blog to be 16+ While I wonāt block people younger than 16 who wish to interact, this is your warning so be advised.
I keep all of my gore and nsfw on my alt which is 18+ Iām not willing to share the @ on any post I make because I know there are minors that follow me, but feel free to dm me if you want to check it out. (Or you could find it yourself, thatās a possibility /gen)
Iām a writer, so longer posts are more likely to show up than shorter ones. I post all of my writing under #wormie writes. Analytical posts are also pretty common.
Drabble masterpost pending.
The Flicker of a Streetlight masterpost here.
(Just Don't) Hang Your Hopes on Me masterpost pending.
Published fics on my AO3.
Asks and scene requests: Open, but a little slow to answer
Currently posting about:
Iron Lung
Project Hail Mary (+crossovers)
The Gray Man (Movie & Books)
Assorted Ryan Gosling Media (see above)
RyGos Supernatural (<which is also the tag)
Miscellaneous Sci-Fi
My original novel
Whatever my muse decides is good
Uhhh, idk man- Iām not built for formal posts like this. Judge me by these posts: Convictās name (full), Convict with wings, Moon!Ryland, and Hermitcraft x Project Hail Mary.
Deeply sorry for anyone who catches my blog while Iām in the middle of blogging about The Gray Man book series, I swear I have insightful posts about things and itās not all just one-three lines about whatever fuckshit that Courtās doing š
You can now join me in yapping about The Gray Man in my TGM discord server!
You should totally throw a brick at me, Iāll throw one back <3
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huge fan of the depth of a good purple but another area that draws me is definitely around aquamarine/turquoise/seafoam. you can not go wrong once the green starts getting just a tinge more blue. a gal could certainly do worse than to pull over there and stay a while
heās so, so deeply closeted. heās had a few periods in his life where the realisation got too close and he ran actively away from it, hooked up with more women in the meantime as if to make up for it, but heās never allowed himself to actually think it. to dare face the thought in any sort of solid form rather than the vague, constant feeling of wrongness.
not until heās in bed with hannah after months together, and he loves her so, so much. sheās his favourite person in the world, sheās bright and hilarious and kind and so, so smart, and she cares about him in a way nobody else ever has since his dad died, and itās not enough. he wants to hang out with her forever, sheās his best friend, he loves her more than anything and he feels so at peace lay like this with her asleep in his arms ā and he knows itās not enough, because he canāt love her the way heās meant to, the way she deserves.
itās getting harder and harder to kiss her. to have sex with her. to take her touch, gentle and adoring, tracing his face and tangling her fingers with his and pulling him close. the disinterest is familiar, the bone-deep sense that he doesnāt want this that he can usually ignore ā has been ignoring his whole life ā but, god, he doesnāt want this. his skin is crawling, every day worse and worse, an awful building urge to fall apart and scream like he felt as a teenager under his motherās brutal thumb, and more than anything he doesnāt want to hurt hannah.
he doesnāt want to be the lying, selfish monster he is, the one whoās taking her love even though he doesnāt want it and canāt give it back. and heās so, so selfish, because all he can think is that he doesnāt want to lose this life too, doesnāt want to lose hannahās closeness and friendship and her family and cal, havingāhaving a dad, he doesnāt want to lose another dad and another family, doesnāt want to be left all alone again, and heās trying to be quiet but hannah wakes up to him sat on the edge of the bed doubled over and sobbing, wheezing through the worst panic attack heās ever had, one that only gets worse when she folds herself around his back and cradles him close and coaxes him through breathing exercises.
itās some reflection of their first night together, when heās finally calmed down, and sheās got his head cradled in her lap, stroking his hair, paying complete attention to him like she did the first night he ever talked about himself. he canāt stop crying, but sheās patient, listening to him babble through his answer to her gentle, āwhatās wrong?ā because he could never, ever get the words out. heās sure heās going to throw up. but sheās smart, so so smart, and through all his croaking about how he canāt give her what she deserves, he sees understanding dawn in her face.
āoh,ā she says, and heās immediately in the throes of another panic attack, curling away from her in terror and babbling that heās so, so sorry, but she follows him. curls herself around his back again, spooning him, pressing kisses to the back of his clammy neck as he cries, and she tells him itās okay. itās okay. weāll figure it out. itāll all be okay and weāll figure it out. and heās so terrified that cal is going to hate him again, and heās ruined everything by being wrong in this way, but he falls asleep in bed with hannah like they did that first night. and the next day they start figuring it out.
Someone needs to introduce Jacob to the idea of a qpr- I think Jacob/Hannah qpr would be like,, his dream scenario. Personally, I think they'd get closer if Jacob wasn't feeling the pressure to perform romantic/sexual love for Hannah when what he really feels towards her is deep platonic love
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Getting a notification from the GenWick community while im actively watching John Wick 2 for more GenWick ideas is just,, oh Iām gonna cook up something good
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i need julian giving henry a hug. Or smth hug adjacent bc its julian
or henry doin that.
i just need these two depressed fucks to be less depressed
-šŖæ
Hehe, here are the bestest adoptive brothers ever! :3 Henry gets a hug and cries, what's new?
Henry was in a shit ton of pain today. Not that he wasn't used to pain, but the weather was wet, rainy, and with a side of hail.
Henry was sure the world was trying to kill himā¦ again.
Julian wasn't in the apartment when Henry woke up, but the older man had gotten breakfast together for Henry so he was able to just sit down at the table and eat without having to make anything first.
Henry wasn't sure what he'd do without Julian anymore.
Julian would leave things for Henry everywhereā post-it notes to remind him to eat or drink, food in the fridge, or shit from the storeā and pretend he didn't when Henry asked about it.
Henry stopped asking about the gifts after seeing Julian tense up after asking the first couple of timesā¦ So Henry decided to start returning Julian's kindness with gifts of his own.
Henry would paint or draw for Julian as a small 'thank you'. Julian loved art, especially expressive pieces having to do with the emotions of its creator. There were some paintingsā Henry noticedā ones depicting angels and demons, God and the Devil that Julian would stare at when they saw them in a museum or Henry showed them to Julian. Henry wasn't sure why he stared at those paintings in particular, but his eyes always looked watery and he stood rooted in place before Henry would snap him out of his daze.
Henry didn't ask any question, knowing from personal experience that somes things you just can't pry from someone. Sometimes you just had to wait for the other person to become comfortable enough to speak, and that's how'd you learn what's up.
Henry sat at the table now, silently thanking Julian for the plate of food before him as he chewed slowly. He could already feel the exhaustion mounting the longer he was awake, the longer he could feel more aches and pains spread throughout his body.
Henry wasn't sure when Julian would be home. Sometimes he'd leave for hours and come back quiet and tense, and others he'd come backā still quiet, mind youā but much more calm.
Henry didn't want to upset him, make Julian go into a tailspin and silent for hours until he came back to himself, so he just welcomed him home regardless of his demeanor and went back to what he was doing.
Henry finished his food, slowly got up from the table, feeling his knee ached and give a sharp pain down his leg when he put pressure on it, and used the table to make his way to the sink to wash his plate.
The least he could do in return for Julian's kindness was wash the plates from this morning they had both made.
He cleaned the plates slowly, leaning against the counter to take the weight off his legs and more on his hips. It didn't help entirely, but it was better than putting his weight on his legs.
Though both legs had been injured in the crash, one was much worse than the other. His right was worse off as it had been on the pedal at the time the car flipped, so he was stuck limping around, sometimes using a cane to get around, and trying to put as little weight on it as possible.
Henry sighed a little as he dried the plates and put them in the cabinet above his head. He wondered again when Julian would be home. It was always better when Julian was home when Henry's pain flared upā¦ Julian would do anything and everything quietly to help Henry.
He never got in Henry's face about his pain, just got what Henry needed without being asked and shook of Henry's thanks before going back to what he was doing.
The door to the apartment opened gently behind Henry as he closed the cabinet doors. It would seem Julian was home sooner than he thought he'd be.
Henry turned around, watched Julian step through with a few bags and close the door softly. He relocked the door once inside and looked up to see Henry watching him.
Julian only nodded a little at Henry before making his way into the kitchen, standing beside Henry as he placed the bags down on the counter.
Henry looked over the few bagsā they were groceries it seemedā and quietly asked, "What'd you get?"
Julian glanced over at him as he pulled out what he had just bought. "Food."
Henry snickered at his tone. Julian wasn't always aware of the tone he had when he spokeāespecially when it was shortā, he just opened his mouth and sometimes it came out harsh or blunt. Henry was never offended by it, he actually found it amusing and endearing.
"Anything good?" Henry asked as he made his way over to the chair on the other side of the counter. He used the countertop to lean his weight off his leg as he moved.
Julian noticed his limping and said, "The weather." He wasn't really asking Henry, more so making an observation and noting it to himself.
Henry nodded anyways and sat down heavily in the chair. He slumped against the backrest and watched Julian put away the groceries.
Julian seemed to remember Henry had asked him a question before getting distracted and replied with, "Some snacks, milk and a couple loaves of bread." His voice was quiet, it always was, and he finished putting the groceries away within a few minutes.
Julian tossed the bag away and leaned against the counter, staring at Henry. "Need meds?"
Henry looked down at his legs as if they'd answer for him. "I don't know, it's not so bad right now." He shrugged a little and looked up at Julian.
Julian turned towards another cabinet and pulled out some Advil, shuffled a few out, and handed them to Henry. He turned towards the sink after and filled a cup and it gently down in front of Henry.
Henry didn't say anything, just looked over the cup and Advil for a moment before taking the pills with a sip of water. "Thanks," He said looking down at the cup afterwards.
Julian just nodded back.
The day passed by slowly after that. Henry couldn't do much so he laid down on the couch and tried to draw in his sketchbook. He gave up after an hour of staring at the paper without anything being done. He just couldn't focus with the pain, though it was dimmed from the meds, his legs still hurt enough to distract him.
Julian had vanished into his room, no sound coming from inside it before he retuned to the living room a few hours later.
Henry had switched firm struggling to draw to watching TV. Though watching might it be the right word. He was more so just using the TV as background noise to the thoughts rolling around his head.
Julian made his way over to the couch, sitting on an arm rest with his hands in his lap, looking at the TV.
He could feel how much pain Henry was in from his room, and wanted to see if he could do anything after an hour of debating with himself whether or not to leave Henry alone.
Eventually he decided that if Henry wanted space, the younger man would tell him and Julian would leave him be.
Henry looked up at Julian, but Julian stared resolutely at the TV. "What's up?"
Julian didn't say anything but blinked at him as a response before returning his eyes to the screen.
Henry sighed and looked at the screen as well. After a moment, he pulled his legs up closer to his chest, making room on one of the cushions for Julian. "Sit."
Julian was going to say he was fine where he was, but the look on Henry's face told him not to fight so he nodded and complied.
Henry brought his legs across Julian's lap, letting his legs stretch out again.
Julian placed his hands gently on Henry's knee and shin. After a moment, he started massaging Henry's leg, starting with under his kneecap and down his shin, working at the tissue to try and get rid of some of the tension.
Henry glanced down at Julian, but Julian kept his eyes on Henry's legs to focus on what he was doing.
Henry smiled a little at the sight and then felt a wave of emotion wash over him. Julian was just so damn giving. He gave so much that it hurt Henry's chest sometimes.
He felt his vision blur a little as Julian pushed at the tissue of his other leg, now trying to release the tension out of that one.
Henry sniffled and tried biting his lip to stop himself from making any sound. God forbid Julian looks up and sees the tears in his eyesā¦ Henry's wishing was in vain as Julian turned his head towards him as Henry sniffled again.
Julian stopped working at the muscles of Henry's legs and froze completely. "Did I hurt you?" His voice was a little shaky to Henry, but Henry didn't say anything about that.
"Noā¦" Henry trailed off, "Just need a minute."
Julian nodded a little, still tense but he squeezed Henry's legs gently in his hands to comfort him.
Henry let out a shaky exhale at the gesture and then couldn't stop himself from crying.
He covered his face with a hand and turned his head towards the TV, away from Julian.
Henry cried, trying to be quiet and force himself to stop but he couldn't.
Julian wasn't sure what to do. If he hadn't been the cause for Henry's tears, then what was?
Julian gently brought Henry's legs back down on the couch as he stood up a moment and then kneeled in front of Henry's face.
He sat there on his knees, trying to figure out what to do for Henry without asking but he was lost. "What's wrong?" Julian had to ask, he had no other option.
Henry wiped his eyes and cleared his throat, still refusing to make eye contact. "Nothing, just-" He sighed and felt more tears fall down his face. "I just need a second."
Julian nodded a little with a hum. He could wait for Henry to calm downā¦ but he still wanted to do something.
Julian slowly brought a hand towards Henry's face and then let it rest against the shell of the younger man's ear. Julian put his fingers in Henry's hair, and combed it back to get it out of Henry's face.
Henry paused for a moment and then started crying again, this time louder and less restrained. He didn't try to stop himself anymore but kept a hand over his eyes.
Henry just couldn't look at Julian. Couldn't look at the fear and anxiety on his face. Couldn't look and see how much the man cared. Henry just couldn't do itā¦
Julian kept brushing Henry's hair, trying to offer even the smallest comfort to him as he sobbed on the couch.
Henry finally brought his away as he grew tired but didn't open his eyes to look at Julian.
Julian peered down at him, head tilted to the side as he saw the redness of his checks and tears staining his lashes. "Henryā¦" He started but he didn't know what else to say.
Henry opened his eyes and a tear dropped from his bottom lashes. "I'm fineā¦" His voice cracked as he spoke. "I'm fine."
Julian shook his head. "No, you're notā¦ but that's okay." He whispered back as he stopped brushing Henry's hair and just held the side of his face.
Henry leaned forward and ducked his head into Julian's neck. Julian froze a moment and then brought his other hand up to wrap around the back of Henry's head.
"It's okayā¦" Julian spoke into Henry's hair, "You'll be okay." He started petting Henry's hair as Henry started crying again.
Henry's tears stained Julian's shirt and wet his neck, but Julian didn't care about that at all. The only thing he gave a shit about was Henry.
Henry cried softly into Julian's shirt and neck, tiring himself out and eventually his tears stopped flowing.
He pulled away slowly from Julian, and Julian's hand came to rest on Henry's shoulder. "Should get some sleep." He suggested to Henry in a soft voice.
Henry nodded sleepily and let Julian help him off the couch and into his room. Julian pulled back the covers for Henry and deposited him slowly onto the mattress before bringing the covers up to his shoulders.
As Julian went to leave, Henry took hold of his wrist and quietly asked, "Stay?"
Julian looked at Henry a moment, seeing how tired he was and how wet his eyes still were before nodding.
Julian sat on the other side of the bed against the headboard, listening to Henry's breathing as he started to fall asleep.
He mumbled out "Thank youā¦" to Julian right before passing out into a deep sleep.
Julian smiled a little at Henry as he fell asleep, curled up at Julian's side. He decided he'd watch over Henry as he slept in case he needed something... Julian was good at helping Henry after all, so why wouldn't he?
As someone who has seen the state of the Gray Man booksā wiki, I can forgive people who have the idea that the book time line and the movie time like are, well, aligned.
THEYāRE NOT EVEN CLOSE
Book Courtland frequently reminisces and recalls his operations prior to 9/11. This guy was working as a singleton operator in the 90s! He got shuffled onto Golf Sierra (our beloved Goon Squad) after 9/11 [In 2002, thank you @emptyingthespiral] and gets burned in 2006. Heās on the run from the CIA starting in 2006.
Movie Six isnāt even recruited until 2003! Itās implied that the Russos (in all their infinite wisdom/sarc) moved the entire timeline up by two decades, but even then itās kind of bungled. The movie explicitly takes place in 2022, with flash backs to 2003, 2019/2020 (meeting Claire), and what I assume to be 1995, as well as other choice moments from Sixās childhood.
So, combining them-
Depending on what I need, I do one of three things:
1. Shift the Movie timeline back to where it should be in the book. Movie events take place instead of Book 1 events and the book series continues from there. This is,, very messy.
2. Keep the Movie timeline where it is, but assume anything that happened in the Books is part of Sixās past that he just, doesnāt talk about. This oneās much smoother, and generally easier to digest for movie-only fans.
3. Have Courtās background the same as the Books up until a certain point, at which canon diverges and the Movie takes place. Iāll be honest, this has a very specific use case for me; Iāve set the Movie in like, 2011 to work with a Six Minute crossover. (This has insane book implications, which I ignore)
Important caveat! Court goes to jail for tripple homicide as part of a gang in the books. Yeah,, uh, fuck that- In every iteration that I write, he goes to jail for killing his father to protect his little brother. Understood? Great! :3
Go forth and write cool fanfiction with a somewhat better grasp of The Gray Man and its bs timeline!
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Well, well, well... Never thought I'd be writing fanfiction of The Gray Man series- let alone fanfiction of these two, but times changes, don't they? Anyways, their relationship is undefined... you'll see. Zack and Court are so fucking complicated in the books, like my God, do something about it.
This has no happy ending, there is a major character death, and Court is #Sad.
Enjoy @emptyingthespiral and @t00muchanxiety... or don't. Maybe y'all are gonna strangle me and sob over this. :)))
Court couldn't wait for this routine to end.
Seriously, the men outside his room in the house-turned-torture-chamber were getting on his nerves. Not that he had much patience given the situation he was already in, but that was besides the point at the moment.
Court had been locked up in this room for about three days now, waiting for an opportunity to strike and make his leave.
The room he was in had no windows, so it wasn't like he could just leave. He had a small roll of fabric on the floor the men outside deemed a bed, a bucket, and an anchor point for shackles that were secured around his ankles.
Fun.
The men would come in every four hours or so to not do anything other than toss him around for awhile before leaving again. They never asked any questions and he had yet to hear anyone speak, so he wasn't able to place accents.
The one thing he did know was that there had been too many of them prior to being captured, and he had had no ability to make himself an out. He was fucked and he knew it, so he complied and let them take him into the back of an SUV.
Court had been in a city at the time of his capture, and the last thing he wanted to do was put innocent lives on the line. He had to comply, so he did. It was logical.
He looked up from a spot on the ground he'd been staring at for the past twenty minutes when he heard footsteps approach the room.
Court sat a bit taller from his seated position on the floor, watching the door closely, trying to decipher how many people were behind it. He couldn't get a read on it fast enough before the door swung open and someoneā a man it seemedā was tossed to the ground.
The guards grabbed the man as he went to right his position and used a separate anchor point on the floor to secure him in place.
Court had a roommate now it seemed. He'd yet to see the guy's face, but his build seemed strangely familiar, especially the shoulders and backā¦
The guards barely glanced at Court on their way out, securing the door behind them with a dull clunk.
Court looked the door over a moment, listening closely to the receding footsteps before he turned his head a bit towards his roommate.
Ah. That's why he recognized the guy's build.
"The hell you doing here, One?" Court said. Probably the first time in three days he'd spoken now that he thought about it.
Zack sighed as he slumped against the wall, bringing his hands up to rest on his knees. "Saving your ass, Six."
Court looked at him, tilted his head a little and responded, "Doing a great job."
Zack crossed his arms over his chest and whistled before saying, "Never shoulda let the boys turn you into themā¦ so damn snappy." He smirked a little at Court as he finished speaking and Court gave him a tired look.
"Cut the shit," Court looked over his former superior, "Why you here?"
Zack shrugged, "I told you: I'm here to get you." He over Court a moment before he grimaced, "You look like shit, man."
Court huffed in response, looking away from Zack and towards the door again. "How you getting me out if you're in here?"
Zack didn't reply and Court turned back to look at him. Court saw the expression on his face, it was somehow a cross between 'I fucked up' and 'I've totally got this'.
"You fucked up and ended up in here, is that it?" Court could almost laugh at him for that, but now they were both imprisoned.
Zack waved a hand in dismissal as a reply and said, "I've got this, man, you know that." He leaned forward a bit and swung his leg side to side, "Our favorite Director sent me to get you out, and that's what I'll do."
Court looked at Zack like he was an idiot, because for intents and purposes he was an idiot, and whispered back, "They're not even asking questions. We're going to die."
Zack didn't looked perturbed in the least at Court's words and confidently said, "Dude, stop worrying so damn much," He then added, "You don't have any faith in me anymore, is that it?"
Court sighed and leaned his head against the wall, watching the ceiling. He wished that it'd just come down already and this stupidity would end.
Zack looked away from Court and watched the door a moment. "They don't have the greatest weapons in the world and there aren't many of themā¦" He trailed off and then cheekily said, "I'm surprised they even got their hands on you."
Court glanced down at him before returning his gaze to the ceiling. "We're shackled to the floor, dumbass." Maybe his patience had fully run outā¦ Court sighed to himself and then added, "Why'd you even get sent here?"
Zack frowned a bit and furrowed his brows, "What do you mean?" He ignored what Court said about the shackles, focusing solely on the dejected tone of Court's question.
Court looked at him like the answer was obvious and just raised a brow at Zack, waiting for the answer to dawn on him. It did not.
Zack sat there confused, halting his swinging leg and focusing on Court's demeanor. "Dude, seriouslyā¦"
Court looked down at his hands, bruised and dirty like the rest of his body. Not like he'd been given a chance to take a shower recently eitherā¦ "Why bother sending you out here to get me? I don't exist anyways, there'd be no fallout if I didn't come back." He shrugged a bit as he spoke and kept his eyes down. For some reason he couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with Zackā maybe his people skills had gotten rustier than he thought.
Zack didn't respond, he didn't move, it didn't even look like he was breathing. "So you don't deserve to live?" He asked quietly. There was a hint of anger in his tone and Court couldn't understand why.
"I don't exist, One," Court sounded so sure of himself, "Why bother with a ghost, ya know?"
Zack's face was stony when Court turned his head up a bit after silence followed his question. "What?" Court asked with a little tilt of his head, making his greasy hair fall across his forehead. "It's true," He said in total acceptance.
Zack scoffed at him, "Seriously?" He pushed himself up against the wall, sitting up straighter to look at Court from a bit higher. Court had to tilt his head up a little to meet his eyes. "Dude, we need you."
Court's eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head, "No, you don't. There are always others that can do what I do. You're one of them."
The two of them stared at each other in silence before they were interrupted by footsteps approaching the door.
Zack said "Talk later" just before the door was ripped open and three men stepped inside.
They didn't bother looking at Zack, instead walking directly over to Court and grabbing him. He didn't move, just went with their motions, trying to find an opening to fight.
Court couldn't find an opening even as one bent down to his level to undo the shackle around his ankles. The three men hauled him to his feet together and pushed him through the door, two men holding each of his arms and the other behind with a gun.
Zack watched Court leave but couldn't find an opening just yet to help. He stared at the door after it was shut for a moment before looking at the now open shackles on the ground.
Zack shuffled over to it, grabbed it and looked it over. Maybe he could sabotage it so Court could break outā¦
He got to work on chipping away at the bracket connecting where the ankles would be chained, listening closely for anyone approaching the door.
Zack couldn't hear anything other that the small clanks of metal against cement as he broke away bits of the chain.
Where they took Court, Zack had no idea, but he figured he'd come back looking worse than he already did.
Zack needed to move up his timetable if Court was going to get out of here alive and to the rendezvous point. Everything had already been planned right after Court was captured. It was Zack's idea to get inside and help Court out, rather than send a team to storm the house.
The blueprints of the place showed a cellar in the basement that had no exit points, and everyone agreed that's where Court would be kept. Zack thought sending a team in would only lead to their target being killed, so he volunteered himself to save Court and argued with Hanley until the man agreed to his idea.
Zack slowly broke down the chain, beginning to worry that Court had been killed and he was so close but too fucking late, when footsteps started echoing outside of the room.
Zack stopped what he was doing, placed the chain exactly where it had been, and went back to his spot against the wall.
He had just slumped against it like he first had when the door opened and the same three men walked in nearly carrying Court.
Zack stopped himself from widening his eyes in surprise at the state of him. If Zack thought Court looked like shit beforeā¦ this was so much worse.
Court was essentially thrown onto the hard cement ground, pulling a rush of air from his chest, before his feet were grabbed and he was manhandled back in the restraint.
He didn't even put up a fight as the men shackled his legs together, just laid there trying to catch his breath before they left the room without a word.
Zack watched the door until the footsteps couldn't be heard anymore before he shuffled closer to Court.
He brought his hands across the other man's torso, trying to feel through the shirt for cracked or broken ribs.
Court went to bring a hand up to stop him but he just didn't have the energy to raise it higher than his head.
"Lemme look, man," Zack whispered and then carefully pulled Court's shirt up. "Shit."
Court's entire torso was bruised. The repeated strikes he'd been enduring for three days were stacking up and it was getting too fucking difficult to breathe, let alone move.
Court's chest and abdomen were purple and red... It was like a fucked up constellation. Zack could see boot-prints on his stomach and long, rectangular-ish bruises across his chest from what could have been a bat or pipe.
Court wheezed as he tried to catch his breath, looking at the ceiling with glazed eyes, not able to focus on anything around him.
Zack gently placed his hands on Court's chest and Court flinched away instinctively.
"Easyā¦" Zack whispered as he swept his fingers across the outline of Court's ribs, now able to feel where Court had a few cracked ribs. "Shit, man."
Zack pulled Court's shirt back down and looked at the man's legs. "They hit any lower?"
Court finally looked away from the ceiling and barely raised his leg to look at Zack, "I'm fineā¦"
Zack rolled his eyes, "Don't give me the tough guy act, Six. Answer."
Court rolled his head to side, looking at Zack closer as he said, "Yeah."
Zack nodded and shuffled on his knees to be closer to Court's knees. He grabbed at the waistband of Court's dirtied pants and ever so slowly pulled them down, mindful of any potential injuries.
Court didn't move, he didn't think he could even if he tried, still trying to get his breathing under control. "You don't have toā¦" He trailed off as Zack brought his pants down to his knees.
Zack ignored Court and checked his thighs for bruising. There was, of course there was. Dark red and purple bruising to match what was on Court's torso. "Damnā¦" Zack said to himself. He wasn't sure if Court even had the capacity to escape, but he had to regardless of how shitty he felt.
Court huffed at Zack, wondering he was even bothering looking at his wounds. He had them, they'll heal or they won't, depending on how this goesā¦
Zack glanced up at Court's face for a moment, and Court saw a glint of anger in his eyes before Zack's head ducked back down to look at Court's legs.
Zack pulled the pants lower, still mindful of the bruising and watched as more bruises came into view. Some of them were in the shape of a hand and Zack almost said something but restrained himself.
Zack brought the fabric down to Court's ankles so they'd be bunched right about the shackles. Zack traced his fingers along Court's shin and knees, feeling for any breaks but very luckily finding none. Good. It'd be easier for Court to run.
Zack started to bring Court's pants back up when Court suddenly took a sharp breath in and his body froze.
"What is it?" Zack asked quickly. He raised his head and shoulders to hover a bit more over Court, looking him over to see if there was an injury he'd missed.
Court shook his head a little and then forced a hand up to cover his eyes. Zack furrowed his brows at that but pulled Court's pants back up to cover him completely again.
He moved closer to Court's head again, sitting back on his knees as he watched Court tug at his bottom lip with his teeth. He must be in pain.
Court sniffled and then sighed to himself. Of course. Of course he couldn't stop himself from crying.
Zack stilled as he saw tears peek out from where Court's hand was covering his eyes. "Shit, you hurting?" Zack brought a hand out like he was going to swipe Court's tears, but he stopped himself and let the hand hover over Court's.
Court sniffled again and cleared his throat, trying to stop himself from crying. He was already making a fool of himself. "A littleā¦" He trailed off and Zack knew he wasn't telling the whole truth.
"Tell me," Zack said and then put his hand over Court's, pulling it away a little from his face. He saw the tears leaking from Court's eyes. The tears were trailing down the sides of his face and dipping into his ears before hitting the ground. "Come onā¦" Zack kept hold of Court's hand without realizing, keeping a firm grip on it as Court sobbed under him.
Zack did not know what the fuck to do. He wasn't trained for this. Neither was Court. Maybe the torture part, sure, but the comfort partā¦ Yeah, no, not their field.
Court cried quietly, only looking at the ceiling. He felt his face redden with embarrassment at the thought of being seen like this by Zack of all people. He tried to pull his hand away from Zack's grasp, but Zack tightened his hold on Court's hand and laid their joined hands down gently on the floor between them.
"Gotta breathe, man," Zack said softly, "Need you up and running to get out of here." He squeezed Court's hand a little as he spoke, not really sure what else he could do for him.
Court got himself under control after a few minutes, now completely exhausted both emotionally and physically. His embarrassment still kept him from looking at Zack but he croaked out a small, "'m sorry."
Zack looked at Court, realized Court wouldn't be making eye contact any time soon, and decided to hover his face directly in front of Court's to force it. "Stop it," He scolded Court, "You're in a lot of painā it happens. You know that."
Court gave a half-hearted nod, now just realizing he could feel Zack's breath on his face as he exhaled. Court sucked in a deep breath and squeezed Zack's hand subconsciously. Zack squeezed back, like this has become their new form of communication. Like Court was saying 'thank you' and Zack was saying 'shut up, idiot' back.
Zack moved his face away from Court's and sat back on his knees again. "We'll be out of here soon, just hang on a little longer." He looked the younger man over and added, "I'll get you out of here."
Court sighed a little in response and shook his head, "Shouldn't have comeā¦"
Zack squeezed Court's hand and replied with a sharp, "Stop it." Zack took a second to think before he said something incredibly stupid, and then softly tacked on, "You deserve to live, Six."
Court exhaled slowly, letting Zack's words repeat over and over again in his head. Did he? He wasn't so sure, but Zack wanted to get him out of here, so he'll go with it for now.
Court squeezed Zack's hand again, this time with less strength. Zack looked at Court's tired face and whispered, "Sleepā¦ we'll get our chance when you wake up."
Court hummed in response, not taking his hand out of Zack's as he shuffled a little to turn on his side. It was painful, but some stupid part of his brain needed to be closer to Zack. He was warm and safe, and so Court pushed himself closer to the man.
Zack watched closely as Court moved close enough to almost touch his knee, but didn't move away as he felt Court's breath through his pants. Court dragged their hands closer to his chest, cradling them close to his heart before sighing deeply and trying to fall asleep.
Zack watched him a moment, debating with himself about what he was about to do. Court would need energy to get out of here, so it was only logical Zack help him get some.
Zack hesitantly brought his other hand forward and brought the tip of his fingers through Court's hair. Court's eyes fluttered but didn't open. He didn't move away either, so Zack qualified that as a victory and brought the rest of his hand down on Court's head.
Zack stroked through his greasy hair in a perfect rhythm, coaxing Court closer and closer to sleep. Court subconsciously pushed his head closer to Zack, forcing Zack's fingers further into his scalp. This is going better than I thought it would, was all Zack could think as he looked down at his former teammate.
Whenever the guards came nextā¦ that would be their moment to strike and get the hell out of here. For now, Zack traced patterns into Court's hair, pulling small sighs out of the man Zack was sure he didn't realize he was letting out.
Court fell asleep faster than he thought he would, even with all the aching his body was doing. When he woke up, it was to Zack lightly pushing his shoulder to get him up.
"What's upā¦?" Court mumbled out as he blinked awake.
Zack shushed him and pointed down at the shackles between Court's legs. "Those'll go if you pullā grab a guard and take him downā¦ we'll go from there."
Court wondered why he'd been woken up, but then he heard the footfalls of a few people approaching the room. Now or never.
He sat up quickly, feeling some trace warmth on his hand he couldn't understand, before righting his posture and narrowing his eyes at the door.
Zack kept his own posture relaxed as he watched the door, he'll move when Court gave him an opening, but until then he'd have to just watch.
The door opened, three men walked in like always, and as one ducked down to undo the shackle, Court brought his leg up and kicked the man in the throat.
The chain connecting the shackles to the ground snapped with the violent action, and Court was on his feet before anyone could do anything.
Zack got up just as fast, going for the nearest man, wrestling with him a moment before grabbing hold of the man's gun and pulling the trigger. The man fell with a dull thud and Zack spun to shoot the third man in the room, but Court had already knocked him down.
Zack hadn't heard a snap so he wasn't sure if the man was dead, but he seriously did not care so long as no one got in their way.
Court grabbed hold of one of the men's guns, checked the ammo, and looked over the first man's body for the key to Zack's shackles.
Zack didn't move as Court undid the lock and stepped out of the metal when they fell away from him. "'Bout damn time."
Court huffed a little laugh at him and made his way to the door. "Come on."
Zack grabbed Court's shoulder and said, "I'm taking point, I saw the blueprints of this place." He went in front of Court without waiting for a response and scanned the hallways as he ducked down one of them and made sure Court was following close behind him.
They got to a staircase and slowly made their way up, mindful of their steps and surroundings.
There was a door at the top of the steps Court imagined lead into the actual house, and Zack carefully reached for the handle. "Ready?" Zack whispered and Court nodded with a quiet, "Ready."
The door was pushed open and Zack scanned the room they were now standing in. It seemed to be the control room of this place. There were computers, monitors, maps, and charts all over the place and they made their way through it silently.
Once out of that room, they were in what could have been a living room. Court thought that was ironic given the explosives stacked in crates that filled most of the space.
They carefully made their way through his particular room and into the hallway. Court got a bad feeling, like something terrible was about to happen. He went to tell Zack that they should stop and listen, but a shot rang out before he could.
The two of them ducked behind the wall, not going anywhere near the explosives in the room just behind them.
There were a few men on the other side of this room, just in front of the exit it seemed, who were firing relatively blindly at them. Court and Zack returned fire only when necessary, conscious of how few bullets they had between them.
The door on the other side of the room opened and more men came in. Far too many for the two of them to take out themselves with just some shitty pistols.
Court glanced at Zack, checking him for injuries and waiting for orders, but the man looking into the room behind them. At the explosives.
"Don't you fucking dare," Court shouted at him, "This place is too damn small to be setting off that many charges, we'll go down with them!"
Zack didn't look at Court and ignored the bullets being fired their way. Court returned fire so that no one could make their way closer, but wondered what the hell was happening in Zack's head. He was never quiet, always giving out ordersā¦ this felt wrong.
Zack looked at Court finally, some steely determination in his eyes that Court didn't like the look of, "I got an idea."
Court waited for him to continue, listening over the sound of gun fire and shouting from the other side of the room. Zack looked at him with some melancholy look in his eyes and said, "Come this way, I'll cover you."
Court moved as Zack swung out a bit to fire back at their assailants, giving him time to stand next to Zack on the opposite wall. The archway they were hiding behind lead to another hallway to the left and nowhere to the right.
Zack looked at Court a moment and then pointed at the hallway, "Go down there, there's a set of stairs you can take up to the roof. It's gonna suck, but you can either climb down and run, or just jumpā which will be fasterā that's your way out." Court went to interject because this was fucking absurd, but Zack continued, "There's a rendezvous point set up at the edge of the city lineā close to the welcome signā it's about 3 klicks south of here but you can make it."
Court looked at Zack like he was fucking insane and shouted, "Are you fucking insane?"
Zack smiled wolfishly and quietly told Court, "We need you, I told you that alreadyā¦ Can't you just listen to me for once?" He paused and then said, "You know I always finish the mission."
Court bit his lip, felt the gun in his hands start to shake, and shook his head sharply. "Absolutely the fuck not."
Zack grabbed him by the arm and moved him so he was further away from the archway, closer to the hallway. "Just follow an order, just this once." Zack squeezed Court's arm, "Please."
Court's eyes watered more and Zack turned to fire a few shots towards the men on the other side of the room, letting go of Court for a moment. Zack turned back afterwards and yanked Court closer to him, leaned down and before Court could process it, placed a very gentle kiss on his forehead before pulling away sharply.
"Don't be stupid, Six." Zack smiled a little and then whispered, "You were the best of us."
Zack pushed him in the chest and said "Go" sharply. Court felt his body comply with Zack's orders even though his head was screaming at him to stay, to fight and die beside his friend.
Court ran down the hallway, gun at the ready, but he met no resistance. Court realized that meant everyone here was swarming Zack and he wouldn't have survived even if he didn't blow the fucking house up.
Court sobbed as he kept moving, went up the stairs at a brisk pace and his vision blurred as he yanked open the door to the top floor.
He made his way to the closest window, smashed it without caring if he cut himself, and slid the frame up.
Court put the gun in his waistband, hoping like hell it wouldn't fall and started slowly descending the side of the house.
Court cried as he climbed down the paneling, barely having enough hand and foot holds to latch onto as he moved. The tears in his eyes made it harder to see where he was placing himself, but he eventually made it to the ground.
He dropped the last few feet, sprung up and started sprinting south. He could still hear gunshots echoing from inside the house; He wondered which ones were Zack's and which ones weren't.
"Fuck!" Court screamed into the air as he kept running. He couldn't waste the opportunity Zack gave him, so he was going to make it to the rendezvous point regardless of how fucking exhausted or hurt he was.
The shooting suddenly stopped and Court almost turned around, but like a coward, he couldn't bring himself to listen or watch as the house exploded. He suddenly stopped running, nearly dropping on his face, and just looked down at the ground, tears dripping down his nose and falling soundlessly onto the grass.
"Fuckā¦" Court whispered to himself as he sobbed louder now. There wasn't anyone left to catch him crying, no one left to hear himā¦ No one left to hold his hand.
Court wiped his face down with both hands, his breaths coming out as wheezes. He was exhausted, hurting, and now wondering if he should've found a way to kill himself earlier to prevent any of this shit from happening.
Court took a deep breath, still refusing to turn around and see what Zack had done for him. He could hear the fire crackling, the wood snapping in the inferno, behind him and couldn't look at it.
He started running towards the rendezvous point again after cleaning off his face. He'll make it. He'll do anything and everything to follow Zack's last order.
Court was not going to let Zack's sacrifice be in vain. Zack saved Court's pathetic life, so he was going to live for him now. That was for damn sure.
