ᴡɪɴᴛᴇʀʙɪʀᴅ

– ☯ Hello everyone, apologies for my absence. I’ve been feeling incredibly stressed out lately, and the number of threads on this blog has become overwhelming. Therefore, the following threads I’m going to have to drop:

@xseaofrosesx ; {here} @elegcntly ; {here} @flcwersies ; {here} {here} @unfinishedjulyrain ; {here} @notfrsale ; {here} @diistriict ; {here}

chanhee had a first life time experience of finding himself without his keys. he must have left it on the freaking table or maybe in the pool? now where he thought of it, he wasn’t so certain anymore if he took it out before going in the damn fountain earlier, what was he thinking? a curse escaped lips as he was already back on his heels, this time running. it was like losing his leg to him, skateboard was great for the busy crowds but he needed that damn key back as it wasn’t his, he just lend the damn thing for the year of being here. he managed to move through people who yelled at him for running against the crowd without hiting anyone, it was just the figure of taojin that brought a sudden confusion to his mind, like a traffic light that jumped from green to red within a blink. before he knew it, to make sure he wasn’t crushing into the stranger, he fell on the floor instead, right to his feet.

well, if anyone would say he wasn’t memorable now, they would be lying.

’hi again.’

– ☯ @dualcolor​​​ }}

          TAOJIN stood there for what was probably abnormally long, trying to ground himself and ultimately getting lost in his thoughts as he attempted to figure out what exactly had just happened. It finally took someone complaining he was in their way for him to snap out of it, and with a mumbled apology, he shouldered his bag and began to walk.

          He wasn’t exactly sure where he was going, his earlier plans forgotten ( they weren’t very important, anyway ) by the meeting of the strange boy. So he just... walked. He let himself get lost in the crowd, zoning out as he moved with the others as a depressing, gigantic unit. Well... until CHANHEE was running into him again?

Amusing. Oh, just play along. Keep the clocks turning in that head of his, sanity is a bore. 

Hyeok turns his head to look back when the man goes on to call him conceded. “Is it conceded or self aware? Maybe your eyes give you away.” The way the dilate with thrill like the pain and chaos Hyeok causes surges his blood like a drug. A rush unmatched, isn’t that right my little play thing? Come along. I’ll take good care of you. 

“Well, in the case that you have… as you so say, it won’t last long.” And the sound of Taojin’s voice is music to his ears, disturbingly playful and set on edge. Like a ticking time bomb. The fun has only just begun. Hyeok waves to the familiar bartender before they find themselves settled at the edge of stools. The club is at its busiest hours but there is enough free space for them to find seating side by side and they sit close enough to hear. 

“I wouldn’t take you for the type.” But he calls for two glasses, a nice brand of whiskey to hit the tongue always satisfactory after a night like this. Hyeok slides the glass over toward Tao, grips his own and lifts it to cheers. “To new friends.” 

– ☯ @vanguardlost​​​ }}

          A straightening of his shoulders, a raising of his chin, feeling stronger, bigger, but in such a good way, confident. It tasted tangy, nectarines and old pennies, and made his stomach feel warm. There’s something about this man, the way he addresses him, the look in his eyes, that gives TAOJIN a sense of courage - he’d never expected to feel to equal to someone such as this.

          “Perhaps a bit of both. Is conceded considered to be bad?” He couldn’t help a smile from creeping onto his face, a genuine amusement at the situation they’d been placed in. He took a seat, emaciated frame looking simultaneously out of place and completely at home. “The type, huh? What’s that supposed to mean?”

          Anything added is just increasing the calories. He’s not here for it to take good, he’s here to stop feeling.

          The Vampire ;

          You’ve never been satisfied. There’s a deep longing at your core that you’ve never been without, but perhaps have only just begun to identify. When will it be enough? When can you be at peace? Your hunger burns and claws at you, pulls you forward like the lurch of gravity. Does your longing hurt those around you? Would you care if it did? At times the strangle hold of your thirst makes it impossible to know anything else, care about anyone else. You serve only that unquenchable thirst.

tagged by: @intothevcid​ 

          the windows ;

          Tell me, do you look inwards or out? You’re a dreamer who feels just a little too much about things just a little too out of reach. There’s a longing trapped inside of you, to be a part of the nature that you look over every day, and you resent the way people look through you with that same longing. They don’t get it. You watch them in the garden, see them get absorbed into nature little by little. They don’t feel it as strongly as you do. Still, when a new tenant moves in, a baby with them this time, you have to look inside as the house moves to absorb them before nature can. It hurts what remains of your heart, your still beating heart that feels just a little too much.

Tagged by: @vanguardlost​​

“No, huh?” doesn’t make it better. Doesn’t make her feel good either, but, if she’s honest, not a lot of things ever do. They tell you that love’s gonna make you feel a way, that sex gives you a thrill, but all of it… if she’s being honest, all of it pales in comparison to the way that drugs MAKE HER FEEL. As if she’s weightless, her mind, unburdened by the sheer agony of being her, it’s some self-pitying bullshit kind of sabotage… and hey. It works a hell of a lot better than the pills they plot out for her day to day, the little organizers that are chock full of colours and brand new options for what’s supposed to be a sunnier tomorrow, but in reality, just feels like… nothing. 

                       She feels like NOTHING.

It swirls at the back of her throat, it’s there with everything that she consumes. Looking back at him, she wonders, yeah, is this metal or just like some bullshit teenaged angst? Like either of them really had an answer, pulling the elongated sleeves of her hoodie over her wrists, SETTLING BACK uneasy within the hard plastic of her seat. “Dunno why that even has to like… matter or anything.”

Between Nate Jacobs and Jules and everything in between. She knows the lengths in which men ( men, men, men, they terrify her ) go through in order to bury that desire deep, how it sparks in its own UNMITIGATED RAGE. “Besides, I didn’t mean literally…” sinking, inwards, or is that the come down from the drugs? God damn. Sniff, her eyes shift and look for a bathroom, then back to him with a sudden curiosity that takes hold of her. No. She shouldn’t be doing this, should she? And yet… “You never tried it before, right? Want to?” she wants to feel, nothing. She wants to be nothing.

– ☯ @redemptioninterlude​​ }}

          Love wasn’t something TAOJIN had ever found time for. He was too busy letting his father down, getting the shit beat out of him, taking too many pills, forgetting to eat, rinse, repeat, try again later GOD ISN’T HERE. He was too busy dying, too busy hating himself for every stupid breath he took. He didn’t have time for love. Or maybe he just didn’t want to admit there was something within him for someone to love. Either way, it wasn’t his problem.

          “Matters to all the people who matter.” He answered, hands again lowering to his pockets and wrapping around his lighter, again thinking of flicking it on and seeing how long it would take him to fucking burn.

         Or maybe, it’d BURN THIS PLACE INSTEAD.

          Yeah, that sounded pretty good. But he let himself listen to RUE, shoving the urge back down his throat as his delicious evening meal and pretending it filled him up. An eyebrow rose at the question, a momentary pause before the realization hit him like a semi. His heart lurched, a sick, confusing feeling telling him this could be so, so good, even if it didn’t stop his breathing. He straightened, sitting up just a bit as the thought pressed its way forwards. Maybe he was too excited.