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Every year I set up a number of goals and resolutions to help guide and dictate the things I do with my life. Some big things, some small things. Mostly small things, to be honest... Those are the goals I tend to actually achieve from year to year, and seeing those little checked boxes does make me a little happier I suppose.

But it’s the larger resolutions I need to start keeping better tabs on. It’s all well and good to read a bunch of books or clear out some of my massive backlog of video games, but what does that matter if I never get around to getting a driver’s license so I can possibly look for a better job or apartment outside the City? Sometimes I need to sit back and think about the direction and perspective of my life in general and ask myself if these are the things I really want or if I just keep telling myself that I want them.

These days every time I read another article about the housing crunch, the incoming flux of techies and start-ups and new wealth flowing into the City I can’t help but wonder what I’m still doing here. There was a reason why I left this City back in 2004, and again in 2013.

But don’t get me wrong, I’m NOT against change. Far from it! While I embrace change, especially personal growth and evolution, the kind of changes I’ve seen in the City this past decade have altered it from the romantic, artistic City everyone used to envision to one that is colorless, soulless, and so focused on money and image and power that it has become everything we San Franciscans fought against for years.

Seriously, it’s like San Francisco is becoming the twisted dystopian City of my freaking novel.

I can’t imagine myself staying here permanently forever among the kinds of people that now march down the streets I grew up on. There’s no sense of community or neighborly respect. Even in my own building half the time whenever I at least say “Hi” to someone they pretty much ignore me and act like I’m not even there. What kind of attitude is that to have with your goddamn neighbors? I mean, come on.

A lot’s changed these past two years, that’s for sure, and the time has gone by incredibly fast now that I’m taking the time to sit back and reflect on it. Oddly enough, with all the changes I can’t help but feel like a lot of things have come full circle in a way.

Take my job for example: I’m still with the same company I joined back in 2008 when I graduated from college, but I’m in a new position with new responsibilities and new (better) rewards in a new store with a fresh crew. Heck, even that’s begun to change with all of the recent turnover and problems with hiring in the City, but that’s a story for another post.

There’s also a new significant other in my life who is someone I’ve actually known since those bygone high school days, someone who I can easily see spending the rest of my life with. Back then when I was young and stupid I hardly talked to her, and even if I had she probably would’ve turned away in disgust, haha... But nowadays I can’t imagine how these last two years would’ve gone if it weren’t for her. I’d probably be somewhere else, doing something else, slightly less happy with the course of my life. Who knows? Who cares.

Even my hobbies have come back from the past. One of the things my girlfriend and I really love is Magic: The Gathering, a trading card game that dates back to the 90′s. I used to dabble in it back when I was in middle school since there was a card store right up the hill from my school, but because it was right before the dawn of Pokemon and the game was too complicated for what few friends I had at the time I never kept it up. Last year at PAX Prime however my girlfriend and I became reacquainted with Magic thanks to a bunch of free promo decks, and from there we’ve been buying new sets and packs and each have a fairly large collection of cards.

There’s a lot more I could be doing. I could be a lot farther along than this after two years of progress and hard work. I could push myself more to do all the things I want to do.

But you know what? I’m not in any hurry. I’ve still got an entire lifetime ahead of me. I used to think turning 30 was going to be the middle of the road, or even closer to the end of it, but I’ve got to keep reminding myself that there’s time enough for everything. And I’m happy right now, which is a very different feeling than I had back before I decided to leave for Taiwan.

I like how I'm starting to focus on the likes more than the dislikes when it comes to this City, because the dislikes are what drove me away from here for the past five months. It's a matter of reminding myself daily that I don't have time to keep focusing on the people, places, and things that irritate me -- just ignore it. Writing this book has been therapy enough for that.

There are always good and bad things about returning home from a lengthy trip away, at least that's what I'm telling myself despite this being only the second time I've done such a thing (first time being coming back from college).

Everything here in SF feels pretty much just the way it was when I left, the only exception being some of the buildings that were under construction are now taller, if not completed. You can take that either way, but I was hoping for more of a change. I was hoping for something about this city to at least feel different.

The nice thing is that my friends haven't changed. The night I got back from the airport we took a trip to In-N-Out for burgers, and as soon as I hopped in the car with them we picked up right where we left off in February. I'm glad for that. My friends are one of the few things in SF I actually missed, and to see them again after so many months made me happier than I've been in quite some time.

I already miss Taipei and my life in Taiwan though. Safe to say I got comfortable there pretty quickly, and despite being a hermit most of the time I enjoyed the atmosphere and the easygoing nature of the people. I would definitely like to go back - for a vacation or to live - though I'd need to take care of things here in SF first. So many variables to consider, especially now, but I don't want to let all that weigh me down so quickly ... hell, it's bad enough I've got to deal with the jet lag.

Despite the setback I forced myself to get out of the apartment all weekend, taking Saturday as a day to myself and going to see a temple over on the far west side of Taipei. On Sunday a few classmates and I caught a train out to Keelung, a smaller city on the northeastern coast of Taiwan. Even though it was pouring rain the entire time - as it's done for most of my time here - we managed to have a nice time wandering around, seeing a few sights and grabbing some local food for lunch.

It's only in the last month I realize how much more there is to see in this country, and I'm sorry I don't have the time (and mostly the resources) to explore it further. Perhaps later down the line.

I came to Taiwan with exactly $5000 USD, figuring it was more than enough to pay for everything for what was roughly three whole months and change, but it's shocking how fast that goes. Tuition for classes (including a culture class in which I had to buy my own instrument), apartment rent, transportation costs, and food... all of the usual things you'd expect to spend money on. Still, back in San Francisco I somehow think that same amount of money would last a lot longer.

Good thing I decided against buying a DS or a bunch of overpriced English books. Still, that means I won't have much to pick up some souvenirs for myself. Though I guess I can live with that.

At this point in time I think I'll be content to return to San Francisco and look for a job in July in order to rebuild my funds. While I'd like to continue living in Taipei and studying Chinese it strikes me just how expensive it is to live in this city, and my bank account certainly can't handle the strain of paying for my life both here and in California. If I come back here, especially for a longer amount of time, I'll definitely need some form of income, a cheaper apartment with a kitchen, and some way to NOT have to worry about paying living costs when I'm not even living in the country.