Calling all my exes baby to their faces forever in an ex-wife-you-coparent-with kind of way

The problem is I need to have an extremely physically active day like 2+ very hard workouts and a long walk in the hot sun, clean my entire house, and go out with friends in the evening in order to feel ok getting into bed at night and that’s not sustainable for every day unfortunately

Got too cocky about the divine plan

Training + jangueo + reading + work + playa and that’s it

Is this Saturn return

One of the craziest things E said this weekend was after I told him two of my friends got in a kiteboarding accident he said “it’s so funny how women will tell you a story and name people but not tell you who they are or give you context” and I was floored because I see these friends multiple times a week and have told him about them multiple times a week for months. And I asked if he could name any of my friends and he could only name our mutual friend of decades and my roommate who he stayed several days with. Meanwhile I know everyone in his life. Very illuminating because I love my friends and talk about them constantly. And we had plans to have dinner with the aforementioned kiteboarding friends.

Woke up went to a CrossFit class at the gym down the street with Rosa and talked to the owner and they’re gonna let me use the open gym to rig my aerial equipment which means I officially have a training space open 6 days a week 5 am-10 pm holy cow. Work was a nightmare but slowly resolving the issues that have been making me wanna cry. Did my laundry changed my sheets and swept my room after living out of a backpack for months. Figured out my plans for traveling to Atlanta for work straight from Boqueron pride with Steph next week. Wyl texted me and told me that Rosa and her were so proud of me. Taught a 3 hour masterclass and my students were all receptive. After work Rosa invited me out with Jaden and Daniel and we had wine and tapas and I laughed so hard I almost peed and the walk home was perfect. I have a date tomorrow with this hot Luchador that my friend I do aerial with knows and says is a good guy and he’s really hot and buff and also extremely sweet. Mostly I think going out with my friends in a mini skirt and laughing in the warm night made me feel like oh I’m actually going to be ok. And I’m excited to go to CA from Atlanta and go to this festival with Phi and Rae, fix up the van, and film our paranormal investigation with Clair and Samuel, but I’m actually feeling like I wanna spend more time here in PR and not force myself to stick to the plan of splitting time 50/50 with California just to prove a point now that Eric and I broke up, so I might not spend all of July there anymore. My life here is actually insanely good and rich and I have things I care about in CA but it doesn’t need to be such long visits. Tomorrow morning taking my Lyra to rig it at the CrossFit gym and then Mariana and Josh are dropping arepa off for me to dog sit her for the weekend. Jimi’s meds just got delivered to the house and he’s coming out to San Juan for the weekend. The moon is huge and yellow and visible from the balcony. The ocean breeze is blowing through santurce. I love Puerto Rico and I love my life here and I’m so grateful. I’m the most heartbroken I’ve been in a very long time but today’s the first day of acutely feeling that everything is gonna be fine and I think it’s just being grounded at home. Maybe I’m done being a cowgirl blowing in the breeze for a bit.