I was looking at this gifset about the interview Namjoon gave on Begin and how it was created, and I just… can we talk about Jeongguk for a little bit?
How very very strong he is, even though he’s only 19 years old – 19, and yet he’s always tried to carry his hyungs on his back in any way he can. He often bears the brunt of whatever physical challenge they’re given, like I remember that one v-app segment when they played the “challenge Jeongguk” game, and yeah it was funny and cute, but just it’s also such a good example of how Jeongguk’s always given these physically challenging tasks and is expected to to be able to win them/do them perfectly.
Or that time when Hoseok had to drink the trophy cup full of water and everyone else teased him and didn’t really help him, and then Jeongguk legit drained half the cup even though he was obviously a bit grossed out by it (and the suspicious things floating in it). Like, can we just take a moment to appreciate how self-sacrificial he is?
Or even going back to the first time they were on Weekly Idol and I remember in the “getting to know you section” they kept asking Jeongguk to do stuff (the worm thing with Taehyung, dancing fast and then slow, dancing to girl group songs, etc) and he could do all of them so well, but how much must he have had to practice to perfect all those things?? And each time when he went up, he had this sort of hesitant, slightly apprehensive look like he didn’t know how it was gonna go down but he was still determined to give his best so that BTS would make a good impression on Weekly Idol.
I know we joke a lot as a fandom about him being a brat and it’s a running gag that Jeongguk fans wanna punch him but honestly he’s so, so sweet; so kind, so thoughtful, so generous and dependable; and my heart honestly goes out to him.
The part which got to me the most in Namjoon’s interview was when he said Jeongguk’s the kind to say “Hyung there’s nothing I’m tired about” or “I have a lot of strength, isn’t it?” because that’s what you say when you don’t want to worry the people around you, when you’re keeping things bottled up inside your chest because you know that everyone else has so much more stuff on their backs already. That’s what you say when you know that you just need to be the stable center (for a while, maybe a while more, and then maybe a while more than that) because you know, right now, that’s what’s keeping everyone else together too.
Remember that one video of BTS practicing for their concert, and they were doing mic checks and like everyone was giving the sound techs feedback like, “make my mic softer and my in-ear louder, etc etc,” but Jeongguk just said “I’m fine” and someone (I can’t remember who) said “everything with you is always fine”. That got to me so hard, because it shows (so, so clearly) that it’s very much a part of his core belief.
And sometimes I wonder, maybe young Jeongguk who came from Busan to Seoul and who was lonely and scared and tired and uncertain; who was so, so young, only 15 when BTS debuted – and maybe he looked around and saw how everyone else was under so much stress too. And he told himself that he couldn’t go to them, he couldn’t add to the burdens they already carried, that he’d have to be strong for himself.
And he did. He did grow up so strong – not just physically, but I think emotionally and mentally as well into a very admirable young man.
But still, can we just take a moment to appreciate him anyway, and maybe love him a little bit for that: in all the soft, tender, affectionate ways it makes you feel?
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