fadka

i must be brave enough to ask god for a moment alone with ethel cain after my death. i don't know how to put it into exact words, but she gives me the feeling that i am being cared for and hugged, well treated and analyzed with affection in every way. all these sensations should really be felt by everyone within a church, within the heart of god, but unfortunately it is not always like that... this woman takes me to the closest state i have ever been to god and his incalculable and immeasurable love, and she does this while guiding me down a path of frightening and grotesque realities. i identify with your art and that couldn't be more comforting idk

every now and then i think about how much i enjoy the wordplay and conversations used in scenes from hannibal (nbc). there are many things that i can't explain exactly why that surprise me, but i must say that i am always surprised by the way the characters think and verbalize great analogies and metaphors one after the other, in a frantic conversation maintained calmly and in a soft tone of voice. a game of ping pong with phrases and thoughts that leave me smiling and thinking “my goood, that phrase was so well thought out.. these characters are so smart and in tune” makes sense? must do! anyway!!!!

i think about how hannibal sinks into will’s gaze and i think “my god, he’s so hungry.” hannibal wants to kiss him and hug him and feel him as if it were goodbye, as if they couldn't say goodbye without first feeling the texture, the flavor, the heat and the desire in its most intimate form. he wants to kiss love, feel its taste, its touch, its smell. and that love is will. it is nothing more and nothing less. it's him, he feels like it's him and he wants it to be him. he cannot go to hell without first tasting the paradise that heaven can offer him. everything is before him and is so uncontrollable, it sounds as if it were a divine test, something calculated, meticulously molded to be the way it is

some people say that jesus christ, while about to be crucified in a cruel and painful way, looked at abigail hobbs and said "my god, i'm glad i'm not in her place!!!" lol