sweet's poetry

ACHING DESPERATION PULSING NEED

misty unclear

to sit with you

simply

may i have that?

seeking confirmation

seeking certainty, knowing

unknowingly keeping people away

these walls kept me safe (rejecting myself first)

to soften?

to soften

to soften to soften to soften

over and over again

tension rises, the urge to place another brick along the rigid walls of isolating self protection

reminding myself

let go

let go

let go let go let go

full of dirt, hiding

open me up open me up open me up

dig through to my roots

hands full of dirt (hiding)

open me up open me up

open me up

it's hard to be myself around you

retreating behind my walls

"if they really liked me, they would.."

"they think im annoying"

feels safer to assume the worst than hope for the best

keeps me away from the risk of rejection, abandonment and embarrassment

THEY ASK IF IM OKAY AND I LIE

THEY ASK ME IF IM OKAY

march 5, 2026

confronted with my avoidance

"Revolution is about awakening transformation"

A quote from Elmina Bell

journal entry on march 25, 2025

"wondering if my path is related to spiritual and emotional care work. i dont want to make any rash decisions based in ego, self-pity, giving up when i have old coping mechanisms come up. when i think of leaving, it does feel pretty rooted and i want to cry - feels like a knowing that i'll leave."

back of this collage (made on the same day):

journal entry from september 16, 2025