The sweetie

evading those real, way too loud and uncomfortable embarrassing sorry talks, that he would for sure keep adding onto out of stress, extend, go on and on out of anxiety and fear that he initiated a conforntation for no reason—and rethink over and over unprompted to the point where he's practically haunted by his own vices—

At this point, he's conditioned himself to avoid complications—cough, vulnerability and honesty— when his own feelings are on the line.

So, he just... got used to it, especially in the dynamics closest to him in his life, and realized he definitely needs to unlearn this harmful habit and thought process.

Double so; Mike would make him apologize for lots of things when they have sex.

For forcing quietness, for being too loud, for saying too many meaningless sorries—Mike demands a genuine, heavier, heated one with full eye contact, and no calming physical contact to make it easier—pulling or pushing too hard, not pulling or pushing hard enough, being vague, being overeager; vivid, for letting himself be jealous; talking about instances where he was about to erupt in flames, about to actually destroy something in frustration—

Mike wants him to throw that false, safe layer of calmness away. <3