bisaster

If you're online enough to have a vendetta against a Tumblr poster, you are too online.

tumblr please let me pin someone else's post to my blog thx

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

guys does this not go without saying

9/11 truther. Oh lord, this is why I don't date.

9/11 truther. Oh lord, this is why I don't date.

Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit

Look, there's this weird thing people do with high fantasy where they want elves to be immortal/extremely long-lived snooty aristocrats and also somehow incapacitated by imagining the taste of salt too hard. "Orcs and dwarves have the hardest booze" no they don't, they have work in the morning! In any of these settings, elves would pregame harder than hobbits party and everyone else has shit to do tomorrow.

The average high elf builds up the drug tolerance of a mid-70s Hollywood producer and then spends three centuries studying alchemy. While humans seek immortality, the Immortals seek the elusive "philosopher's cocaine."

Elf Fentanyl works exactly the way cops think human fentanyl does

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

actually i sold the circus and those monkeys months ago