(Hiatus) Stars and Dreams

When you had started dating, of course you had worried about the risks of a relationship with a celebrity. Keeping it a secret had been tough and a little sad, but you’d managed all right. It had never occurred to you what it would be like after you broke up.

People would ask, “Didn’t you love BTS?” and “Weren’t you such a big fan?” But you couldn’t find it in yourself to explain the real reasons why you changed the channel every time the notes of their songs played, or when they were the topic of a news segment for their outstanding success.

As it turned out, avoiding them was a lot more mentally taxing than you thought.

It wasn’t like Yoongi had been a bad boyfriend. Not intentionally, anyways. Even though the “getting to know you” phase was long and tedious, he was nothing but kind towards you.

When he asked if you were willing to try dating, it was after months of talking, and sharing music and thoughts about life. By that time, you had a good idea of how hectic his life was, but you agreed.

After that, as you got more comfortable with each other, you saw just how demanding his schedule was. And after being stood up on too many date nights because “I was in my studio and lost track of time” or “We extended dance practice because we were all having trouble with a part” you were tired.

So, so tired.

To an extent, you understood. Even before you dated, he often complained to you about being tired from his jam-packed schedule and ruthless practices. But when it kept happening time after time, getting stood up or just plain forgotten, a little voice in the back of your head reminded you that relationships were about compromise and being there for each other. He had never given you the courtesy of a text or call when he couldn’t make it to your plans, no matter how many times you scolded him for it or he said “I’ll let you know next time.”

Breaking up with him was almost too easy. Even though you tried to talk to him about it, tried to get him to say something, anything… he seemed to not care. Or rather, he maybe felt like you’d made up your mind and didn’t see any point in arguing. Your guess was the latter.

But life went on.

Or so you thought.

The texts came out of nowhere. You’d decided to stay at home even though it was a Saturday night, and a movie marathon of your favorites was the only plan. At first, you had intended to ignore the incessant ringing of your phone. But after the fourth incoming text, you sighed and paused the movie, plucking your phone off the coffee table to investigate.

And you wished you hadn’t.

[11:42pm] Yoongi: i mis yo

[11:42pm] Yoongi: how hasit already been 5mnths?

[11:43pm] Yoongi: you alwys tod me notto drunk teXT

[11:43pm] Yoongi: but i missyou

You felt sick to your stomach.

Min Yoongi had been the one to start pulling away. Min Yoongi was the one who would ignore you for weeks at a time. Min Yoongi was the one that didn’t fight back when you wanted to break up.

Who was he to start barging back in, five months later?

Sure, you’d missed him. Sure, you regretted your decision to break up several times and thought about him more often than you cared to admit.

But for him to text you out of the blue, drunk, claiming he missed you after five whole months of being apart and trying to return to normalcy without him.

"Do you like it?" you asked, breaking him from his thoughts. Not knowing what else to say, Yoongi just walked closer to you and put his hands on your waist.

"I do. But what's the occasion?"

"I told you last week that we got new work uniforms, right? I took mine home to make sure it fit okay before doing a whole shift while wearing it."

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered that conversation. But he didn't think the new uniform would be something… like this.

"Wait, you're wearing this to work? Like, in public?"

"Yeah, isn't it cute?" You look down to your outfit, a pretty dress with short, puffed sleeves and a peter pan collar. The café you worked at was undergoing a change in décor, so the new outfit worked with the new concept.

“It’s a bit much for a café. They expect you to run around in tiny skirts like this?” His tone was scathing as he fingered the hem.

“The skirt is supposed to be this short. It’s cute,” you pouted at him. “Besides, it’s not like we won’t wear shorts underneath.”

“Look, you’re an idiot if you think there won’t be a bunch of customers coming just to stare at you all while you work.”

“I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid, Min Yoongi. Have some faith in me.”

“It’s not you that I’m worried about here!”

For just a moment, the two of you held eye contact while glaring until he gave in with a muttering of “fine, fine, it’s your job anyways.”

He started to walk back out to the living room, whatever he had been looking for earlier completely forgotten, but you still managed to get the last word when you yelled after him.

This time, you were invited by Jimin and Taehyung to watch movies with them. It was a rare long break for the group, and you couldn’t exactly turn them down when they started sending you selfies with those puppy eyes.

It was always the puppy eyes.

And Yoongi, to his credit, didn’t seem to mind much. Though he had some choice words while you were getting ready to leave.

“I don’t know why you want to hang out with those kids, they’re too noisy,” he grumbled from the couch in your apartment.

“They’re my friends, just like they’re your friends. And don’t pretend you don’t secretly love having them to play around with,” you shot back, glancing at him over your shoulder.

“Right, but I can only handle so much of them. Why else do you think I come here so often?”

“Oh, so you don’t come here for me?” Feigning offense, you put a hand to your chest as you spoke.

“Why would I come here for you, the person who nags me all the time to eat healthy, drink more water, and take more walks? A nuisance. I’ll stay here for the peace and quiet while you go hang out with those little monsters.”

At this, you laughed. It was true, you pestered him with reminders to take care of himself often. Yoongi was the type of person to focus on the tasks at hand, forgetting his own health while he cooped himself up in his office. Where you were the type to at least take breaks and still cook for yourself when you holed yourself up.

“Why bother calling them monsters when you obviously love them?”

“It’s tough love” was his mutter of a reply.

As you were slipping on your shoes to head out the door, Yoongi called after you.

“Don’t start texting me to complain when they get too hyper for you to handle.”

“You say that like I don’t have already have an excuse prepared to leave early when that happens.”