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Today's Document

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@surfs-up-brian
need to beam this tweet directly into everyone's minds right now

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witnessing death note for the first time in the year 2022. what’d my bestie prosciutto salame do to deserve this
Prosciutto Salame killed again in episode 26
Van Dyke Parks 👈
Top 10 horniest bruce springsteen songs. someone tell me. I need to know. For science
OKAY hold on
10. Fire
…this song's a lot. Written 1977 for the likes of Elvis Presley to play, the song's about a man making advances on a woman who doesn't seem very interested. Presley died before Bruce's tape made its way to him, but the song was a hit with The Pointer Sisters who make the song a bit more fun by having women singing it.
Hard to talk about how horny this one is due to its subject matter, but Bruce's vocals ooooze desire.
9. Cross My Heart
"First time I crossed my heart, I was begging baby please
At your bedside down on my knees."
One theme you'll see a few times is the incorporation of eating out women in his lyrics. This one's covert but couldn't be much else.
"I was lyin' there with something sweet and salty in my mouth" that man's getting sat on.
"Where the night gets sticky and the sky turns black,
I grabbed you, baby
And you grabbed me back
And we crossed our hearts"
8. Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)
"Spread out now Rosie…"
"The only lover I'm ever gonna need's your soft sweet little girl's tongue."
"DADDY'S COMING…"
What's more important than some silly/horny lyrics are the antics between Springsteen and Clarence Clemons on stage during this song. I'm talking everything from some very homoerotic hanging out to straight up kissing before the final chorus. This is The Clemonsteen song.
7. Pink Cadillac
Fun horny Bruce singing about makin' love in the back of his pink Cadillac, crushed velvet seats, ridin' in the back, oozing down the street…
6. Burnin' Train
The newest song on this list, courtesy of a 70-year old Bruce showing he's still got it. What's it, you say? Desire.
"I ran my fingers 'cross the hollow of your stomach as you lay breathing" is in my opinion THE horniest lyric Springsteen's ever written.
5. Backstreets
🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
GAY ALERT
No amount of lyrics could capture how this song is Bruce confessing his love for another man. "Hiding on the backstreets" is an analogy for having to hide your love. Talk about "juke joints and […] drag". "Blame it on the lies that killed us" this was five years before the AIDS crisis. DO YOU HEAR ME.
I'm gonna cry. "Catching rides to the outskirts, tying faith between our teeth. Sleeping in that old abandoned beach house, getting wasted in the heat and… hiding on the backstreets."
4. Detail Man
"I'll kiss you in places other men ain't even heard about"
HORNY
"From your pretty red lips down to your knees"
HORNY
"I'll have you purring like a kitty and runnin' like a clock"
HORNY
"You want a little of the spit-and shine,
Call the detail man and you're mine."
Part 2 of Bruce eating out women.
HORNY.
3. Candy's Room
Okokok hear me out
There's only one word I can use to describe this. Desire.
Does it deserve #3? Debatable. But it's my list.
2. I'm on Fire
Look I frequent the #bruce springsteen tag on Tumblr. Every single day there's someone posting "Sometimes it's like someone took a knife, baby edgy and dull and cut a six inch valley through the middle of my skull". This song is way too well-known to need explaining. It's his second horniest song.
Honourable mentions:
Reno: By FAAAAARRRRRRR his most sexual song but he just wants to go home. There's no horniness in this song. Not one bit.
Part Man, Part Monkey: Number 11. Couldn't quite cut it.
1. Red Headed Woman
"Well, listen up stud your life's been wasted 'til you
Got down on your knees and tasted a red-headed woman"
Why can someone be like "heres my story. Once upon a time pee pee poo poo." And our response is "we as a society grant you immunity from any repercussions. You can do what you want"

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people aren't even exaggerating indeed is literally like that. walmart attendant $13 an hour, target attendant $13 an hour, AI dick sucker $40 an hour, home depot attendant $13 an hour, guy who designs bullets that can only kill children $160k a year plus benefits, gas station manager $18 an hour
this guy gets it
Top 10 horniest bruce springsteen songs. someone tell me. I need to know. For science
death knight apprenticeship
death knight no experience needed
death knight will train
death knight remote jobs
death knight interview tips
when england lose, women bruise

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Do I finally have free reign to say that hans zimmers scores suck ass now that he's scoring for Harry Potter or whatever
repeating this to myself as a list of daily affirmations
I feel like I would go to the club if it was a very specific club that played like. Good music and wasn't a pain to get to
dude star wars is so good and/or bad and/or mediocre sometimes, depending
Ohh so that's why they called that one show Andor

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bwaow
quit getting weaker with the squeaker and learn to expect more with a grand old boar