bring back superstar limo

~Mod Tim Allen

Man: I don't mind as long as I get to ride my favorite Hollywood themed ride in Disney's California Adventure.

When will unnecessary ride revamps stop

HERE, TAKE A MAP!

Richard Sherman

*~*Mod Tim Allen*~*

~*Mod Whoopi Goldberg*~

what she means: “Get ready to be ‘taken for a ride’ through a wacky, whimsical version of Hollywood, where you’re Tinseltown’s biggest new star.” Are you ready to do a lot of pretending? Pretend you just arrived at Los Angeles International Airport. Pretend you’re the newest movie star in Hollywood. Pretend your ride vehicle is a fancy chauffeur-driven limousine. Pretend that your chauffeur is narrating your journey from the airport to a big Hollywood premiere, although the ride vehicles don’t have drivers. And pretend that people like Regis Philbin and Cindy Crawford are big Hollywood stars. Good. Now you’re ready to take a Superstar Limo ride. You begin by entering Los Angeles Union Station on the billboard-like facade. For some reason, this puts you into something that looks like it could be the airport in Toontown. You wind through the queue rather quickly, because there aren’t many other guests in line. It turns out you’re at baggage claim at Los Angeles International Airport. Joan Rivers is on a TV monitor. “Hollywood’s newest sensation is going to be a big star,” exclaims Rivers. “I’m talking big, big, big. Bigger than Madonna. Bigger than Leonardo. Do you know what I’m saying? Yes, of course you do.” Yes, Joan Rivers is talking about you! Now climb into your “limo” which is equipped with a video screen for each row of seats. Pretend the video screen is a picture phone. Enjoy the ride... Chauffeur “Hey, aren’t you Hollywood’s newest superstar? Please be sure to keep your arms, legs, and egos inside the limo at all times.” Your picturephone rings. Chauffeur “There’s a collect call for you. It’s your new agent.” Superstar Limo at Disney's California Adventure Swifty La Rue “Swifty here, babe. Welcome to Hollywood. Lookin’ sensational as always.” Swifty blows a kiss to you. Swifty La Rue “Listen, I’ll have your contract for you at the premiere. Okay? Just get to the Chinese Theater pronto, y’hear me? Everybody’s waitin’, capiche? Now don’t be late, babe!” Swifty blows another kiss to you. Chauffeur “Don’t worry. We’ll get you there in time. Our first stop is glamorous Rodeo Drive. There’s Regis Philbin, and that’s my final answer.” Chauffeur “If it isn’t vivacious Melanie Griffith and dashing Antonio Banderas.” Chauffeur “And there’s Hollywood beauty Cindy Crawford.” Chauffeur “The world famous Sunset Strip. Hold your sides, everyone. It’s funnyman Tim Allen.” Chauffeur “Jackie Chan! Care to rumble?” Your picturephone rings. Swifty La Rue “Hey, where are ya? I repeat, don’t be late. Kiss, kiss.” Swifty blows two more kisses to you. Chauffeur “Welcome to Bel Air, where the streets are paved with royalties and hype. How about a map to your house, Drew Carey?” Sponsors seeking endorsements “Endorse our soda! Sell our sneakers! Just sign here!” Chauffeur “Pool party! Hold your breath now!” Your picturephone rings. Swifty La Rue “C’mon. Be Swifty’s favorite star and get here now!” Chauffeur “Malibu, where the beautiful people become even more beautiful.” Voice from a crystal ball “Angels, execs, producers beyond... Give us a sign the green light is on.” Chauffeur “Why, the always entertaining Cher!” Chauffeur “Tattoos are all the rage. Shall I ‘ink’ you in for one?” Paparazzo 1 “Look up and say cheese.” Paparazzo 2 “Show us your pearly whites!” Paparazzo 3 “Smile for the camera!” Paparazzo 4 “One, two, Yeeowwww!!!!” (as he falls off his ladder) Chauffeur “Everywhere you turn, there are Hollywood studios.” First voice “Read my script!” Second voice “You’ll laugh, you’ll cry!” Third voice “Every word says you!” Chauffeur “Well, this is it... the premiere of your very own movie!” Chauffeur “Hollywood favorite, Whoopi Goldberg!” Whoopi “Look! It’s Hollywood’s newest sensation. And you know what that means, don’t you, baby? You’ve arrived!” Chauffeur “As they say in this town, ‘looks like you are big boffo.’ And don’t let it go to your head.” Chauffeur “Now there’s a familiar face, smiling down from that billboard.” Your picturephone rings. Swifty La Rue “Congratulations, kid! They love your movie. Wow, you are a superstar. It’s bigtime boffo... I see your name in lights.” Swifty blows another kiss to you. Swifty La Rue “I love ya!” Announcer “Ladies and gentlemen, Hollywood’s newest sensation!” Chauffeur “Don’t you look good on camera. Now that’s what I call a superstar! Let me grab some popcorn, because I know I’ll be seeing a lot of you in the movies!” Your ride is over. Do you feel like a superstar now?

Pisces: YOU! You're Hollywood's biggest sensation!

*~*Mod Tim Allen*~*