Super Salad 64

1. Every time I begin to type “World of Warships” into Google, autofill causes me to transform into a level 23 Blood Elf Magician and then get ganked.

2. I disagreed with the terms of the EULA, so technically I don’t really have permission to play. 

3. Frankly, I’m tired of firing at the enemy in EVERY new game I play. Game developers these days are really running out of ideas. It's just not innovative anymore. It’s almost 2018, guys. Come on.

4. I did try it once, but my cat accidentally walked on my keyboard and said a swear word to another player so my account got banned. 

5. Enough fearmongering. More people die to hippos every year than boat bites. Stop advocating violence against ships, they’re a vital part of the ecosystem now that sharks are endangered.

6. I was disappointed to learn that one of the selling points of World of Warships was to have fun playing a survival minigame. I love to die, so it doesn’t really seem relevant to my interests. I guess not all gamers have the same idea about what fun is or isn’t.

7. I only have 2 GB free on my hard drive right now because it’s full of the 500 hours of Skyrim footage I recorded for my 100% longplay.

8. I’m just not ready for that kind of commitment in my life.

9. When I tried to preorder a copy from GameStop, they asked to see some identification and then informed me that I’m not legally allowed to play games with a T rating because I’m no longer a teen.