Supernatural Liveblogging

I’M BACK! I needed a really long hiatus after watching 8 straight seasons of SPN. But now I feel like I can continue! So here we go! 

- AWH! CASS!!! He’s living out of a shelter?? Why isn’t he with Dean and Sam? CASS!!! THAT IS NOT HOW WE BRUSH OUR TEETH! HAHAHAH!!! Human Cass is hilarious. “Do you ever tire of urinating? I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.”

- Oh that’s just creepy! Is Ezekiel just going to constantly be creeping in during conversations? And yah, Sam probably shouldn’t be going for a run so soon... Man, I do NOT trust Ezekiel to get out of Sam.

- Dean is going to let it slip accidentally that Sam is being possessed because there’ll come a point where he won’t remember who he’s talking to. He is going to get whiplash.

- Is Reverend Buddy Boyle possessed by an Angel and trying to convince more people to be hosts?? Oh, no, but almost. He’s just getting orders from an Angel. WTF?? The girl exploded!! Ah. Not everyone can contain an Angel. That makes sense I guess. Sam is like the perfect host considering he was supposed to be Lucifer’s...

- Ooops! An Angel found Cass! And apparently they are not aware that Metatron stole his Grace and that he’s human now! 

- Cass is getting smart. Gonna tattoo some protection onto himself like Sam and Dean did way back when. Sucks he’s got to pick between food and protection.

- Yah know, Cass, maybe hiding in a Church is not the best idea... 

- WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!! REAPERS ARE FREELANCING??? DEATH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? You need to keep a better eye on your Reapers! 

- This girl is way too trusting. Do you know when I’d bring a strange dude into my house??? She’s gonna get killed by the Angels. 

- HAHAHAHA!!! Sam: “Look at these chemicals! Do you even read the label?” Dean: “No. I read pie. The rest is just blah blah blah.” Oh Sam, that’s exactly how I feel. 

- There we go. I was wondering when they were gonna give the slip on the reaper. They were letting him follow them way too easily. Man, I have missed the brothers working together instead of fighting. 

- Is Cass about to get some for the first time? Yep, looks like he is. So, April, honey. I feel like we should have a talk about bringing home homeless men and then having sex with them...

- Ruthless Winchesters! You torture and kill that reaper/angel/delta force dude! 

- Oooo, Cass’s protection tattoo is in Hebrew. Except that I can’t read it... :( I wonder what it says. 

- LOL! April Kelly is an angel? Or a reaper?

- Oh Dean. Calling forth Ezekiel? I feel like they’re going to have to have a safeword of some kind for when he wants to Zeke. 

- Well shit. she just stabbed Cass. OH SHIT! I JUST REALIZED THAT IF SAM GETS STABBED WITH ONE OF THOSE WHILE ZEKE IS IN HIM HE’LL DIE FROM BEING VAPORIZED!!!

- They’re gonna need to take Cass to a hospital. Or can’t Sam/Zeke heal him? Yep, he can. Though that can’t be healthy, considering Zeke is busy healing Sam, so healing a second person likely takes it really out of him. 

- Dean is in so much shit. Trying to come up with excuses for all the crap that’s going on without letting on that Sam is currently possessed by an angel because without the angel he’d be D-E-A-D. “You lied.” “I did that. I do that.”

- Sam: “I never saw you going through Maurice’s pockets.” Dean: “What are you talking about? I don’t see half the nerdy stuff that you do. It doesn’t mean you don’t do nerdy stuff.” So many piss-poor excuses.

- HAHAHAHA!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!! Dean: “You had sex with April? So, did you have protection?” Cass: “I had my angel blade.” Dean: *snorts “Oh-- Oh, he had the angel blade.”

I couldn’t leave well enough alone. That was an awful season finale and I have to know what comes next.

- Awwwwwh!!! I was about to comment on how the camera angles were weird and the lighting was all soft and strange. This is why. Because it was in Sam’s head. Because he’s in a hospital, unconscious, and dying. And Dean is watching the news about the “meteor shower” and is just... Fuck the world because Sam is dying and that’s where he needs to be.

- Oooooh!!!! PRETTY TITLE CARD!!!

- Sam has... internal burns on his organs and oxygen deprivation to his brain...? That... is so bad... And now he’s in a coma... Dean is going to the chapel. How you gonna pray to, Dean? All the angels have fallen. Ah, Cass. Can Cass hear him without his grace? Uh huh. Dean’s putting a no-hold bar quid pro quo to any angel who can help Sam. That’s... That could be really dangerous.

- BOBBY!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE? Is it REALLY Bobby?? Or just more of Sam’s inner monologue?? “The thing is, if I’m dying-- and I believe you, I do. But if you’re you but you’re really me, and--and you’re the part of me that wants to fight to live...” “Yes. I have no idea what you just said, but  continue.” “But if you don’t have any idea how I’m supposed to fight, then am I supposed to be fighting at all?” “Are you serious?” “Hell, yes, he’s serious. And if you ask me, I think the kid’s got a good point.” 

- Awh, Cass. I think maybe now you do eat and drink. You’ve lost your grace... Who’s the girl in the van?

- And now Sam fucked off to some other part of his mind with Bobby. Who seems to be another part of Sam. And Dean got real pissed that Sam fucked off. Cause Dean was in the front seat cause Sam wants to live! :) :)

- HAHA! Oh, Cass, you lost your grace, honey! You’re human now. You can’t heal people, or heal yourself, or whatever it is angels do. Oh! The girl was an angel?! Hael. 

- Haha, this poor grief counselor. “I’m just going to break the ice. Are you an angel?” Lol. “Look, I’m sure you’re a nice person and that you mean well, but “inevitable”-- that’s a fighting word where I come from. There’s always a way.” Wow Dean! That took you a really long time to remember you got Crowley. OH WAIT! LITERALLY IN HIS TRUNK!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!! “Crowley, listen up, you son of a bitch. One for yes, two for no. You alive?” *nothing* “Come on, don’t be a pouter.” *one knock* “There we go.” AND THERE ARE THE ANGELS! Or at least one angel. Who wants Dean’s help. Good job, broadcasting your location to all the dicks. Ok, so, angel says “nevermind who I am, I’m here to help” and then passes out. I hope Dean doesn’t just let him do whatever without getting a name. Cause the Winchesters are very close to the top of the hit list. 

- Oooh, Hael built the Gran Canyon? Fun! Does Cass not hear Dean calling?

- Ezekiel. Okay then... Oh, good!! Cass called Dean! And explained what happened. And that Metatron took his grace. And he wants to get to Dean but Dean is telling him not to cause the other angels are looking for him and they’re pissed. THE ANGELS ARE COMING!!!!

- Hael just bashed in Cass’s head. Oooops!!! Awh, sheesh. Another crazy. Whose vessel is not strong enough to hold her. And she wants to possess Castiel’s vessel? 

- LOL! The grief counselor got possessed by an angel. And Sam is still walking through his forest with Bobby. Who wants him to go into the cabin so he can... die? Oh, look at that! Sam-Dean is back and killed off Sam-Bobby! With the weapon he brought back from purgatory? “Come on, Sammy. Bobby was the part of you that wants to die. I know it stings, but he had to go.” “No. You have to go. When are you going to realize it’s over?! There’s nothing to fight for!” “Np, see. I know you don’t believe that.” “Really? Then what’s your plan, Dean?” “My plan? *chuckles and punches Sam* My plan is to fight! My plan is to try! *pushes and punches Sam* My plan is to give a damn! Are you telling me there’s nothing? Huh? You telling me there’s nothing to fight for, that there’s nothing to hope for?!” “No. I’m telling you there is. You might not like it. You might not accept it, But it’s in there. It’s in that house.” “You know what’s in that house! Now, I can’t help you if ain’t willing to fight for yourself!” “I know. It’s okay. It’s what I want.” *pats Dean’s face as he vanishes* 

WHAT’S IN THE HOUSE SAM????

- Man, these angels are dicks.

- IT’S DEATH!!!!!!!!!! HIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS DUDE!!! SO MUCH!!!!! “Hello Sam. I’ve been waiting for you.”

- DEAN NO!! SAM WOULD NOT WANT TO BE POSSESSED!!! Dean just can’t let go. Oh shiiiiiiiit!!!! Dean just saw Death himself is there to collect Sam and that Sam wants to make it PER-MA-NENT!!! Poor Dean. Seeing that Sam has given up. 

- Dean is still on fence about whether or not to let Ezekiel possess Sam. “Even if I said yes it wouldn’t mean squat. Sam would never say yes. Not to you.” “But he would say yes to you.” 

- HAHA!!! Cass put on his seatbelt and made the car ram against the shoulder. And Hael went fucking FLYING out the windshield. Yikes. And Hael be dead.

- URGH!!! THESE TWO!!!! “Hold on.” “Dean.” “It’s okay, Sam. I, uh, would have brought cronuts, but time is short, so...” “By all means” (death is so sassy i love him) “What’s going on?” “I found a plan.” “It’s too late. I’m going.” “No, no. No, no. Listen to me.” “No. Why are you even here? I’m not fighting this anymore.” “You have to fight this! I can fix this, okay? But not if you shut me out. It’s not his time.” That’s for Sam to decide.” “Sam, listen to me. I made you promise in that church. You and me. Come whatever. Well, hell, if this ain’t whatever.... But you got to let me in, man. You got to let me help. There ain’t no me if there ain’t no you.” UUUUUUUUUUUUUURGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Ooooooh!!!!!!!! Ezekiel got Sam to say yes!!!! Dean likely told him what to say. Sam is going to be so pissed but then he’ll forgive Dean. Once he’s all healed. And Ezekiel is hopefully out of Sam’s body. Oooooooooooooh!!!! DEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!! SAM IS GOING TO BE SO PISSED AT YOU!!!!!!!!!! YOU’RE GOING TO BE HIDING FROM HIM THAT THERE’S AN ANGEL RIDING SHOTGUN IN HIM!!!! AND YOU’RE ERASING HIS MEMORY SO HE WON’T EVEN REMEMBER THAT HE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL??? HE’S GONNA BE SOOOOOOO PISSED!!!!!!!

- OMG CASS!!!! DO NOT STRIP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LAUNDROMAT TO WASH YOUR CLOTHES!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HE DID!!!!!!! Awh. Food, or clean clothes. Food and water. Good choices, Dean.

- Sam’s awake. And Dean is lying through his teeth to him. But he’s just glad he’s alive. Even though he’s still in a fragile state. Even though Sam doesn’t know that. 

SEASON FINALE AT LAST!!! Season 8 took me forever it feels like!!! So, how is Sam going to die at the end of this season only to come back the next one? It’s his turn. Dean died/went to purgatory in the last season. And since they’ve been alternating since Season 1...

- Roderick? Why is this Jody person calling Crowley Roderick? And who is his Jody person? They’ve closed down the bar! WAIT! This is Sheriff Jody?? I can never recognize her. And there goes Crowley, prepping a hex bag for her... Oooh, what are the brothers plotting? There is no way they’re going to be going along with this. So what’s the plan???

- Ok, so they got the whole tablet back together. And Kevin is in on the plan. And Cass is still going on with the trials to close Heaven’s gates. Maybe he should check in with the brothers...? Cause, you know, closing up Heaven while Hell is still wide open may not be the best idea.

- Awh, Sam and Dean are back at Bobby’s :( Man, Crowley is really letting Dean get that close to him? Hahahahahaha. Demonic handcuffs! They used the tablets as bait to get Crowley!!! Nice. Now they just need to “cure” Crowley.

- Oh Cass. You are still SO BAD at this!!! And the angels have Metatron.

- Oh, NOW they put up devil traps. Also, where are they getting the purified blood? HAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! Now I want to know what happened to Penny Markle in the sixth grade and what Dean did!!! 

- This is a bad idea. I wouldn’t leave Sam by himself with Crowley for 8 hours... Oooooo!!!! Sam injected Crowley with his blood post-confession and his arms glowed! That means he’s on the right path. Also, is he going to be able to keep this up for 8 hours? I mean... That’s a long way to go and his body is hurtling toward the cliff face. 

- You know, forcing Kevin to translate the tablet is going to blow up in your face. You’re acting a lot like the demons.

- URGH! WHAT IS CROWLEY UP TO BITING SAM??? And then not saying anything!!! Oooh, he’s gonna use his blood to communicate. Smart. Dean better get back to Sam cause he’s gonna need help.

- GAIL IS CUPID!!! AND IS SETTING THE TWO GUYS UP!!! HAHAHAHAH!!! LOVE IT!!!!! DEAN’S FACE!!!! 

- Oh, Sam looks so bad. He should call Dean. He won’t, but he should. I don’t know that Sam can physically do this by himself. And there’s Abbadon!!! I had a feeling we’d be seeing her again soon. HAHAHA!!! Crowley is hilarious if he thinks Abbadon is going to help him. She was horrified when she learned he was the King of Hell. Pretty sure she might just try to kill him instead. And Sam’s unconscious. HAHAHAHA!!! “You and I are going to talk about a little regime change.” Yep. Saw that one coming a mile away. 

- WOAH! Sam just set her one FIRE!! There she goes!!! Bye bye Abbadon! Go forth and find yourself a new host! And then come back to kick some more ass? HAHAHAH!!! “You did good back there, Moose. I’ll deny it if you ever quote me, but I’m a proud man. I’m proud of you.” You’re so full of shit, Crowley. You’re just glad Abbadon didn’t kill you. Except that Sam wants to cure you. HAHAHAHA!!!!!! “We just shared a fox hole, you and I!” WHAT??? “I deserve to be loved!” WHAT??? I love how Sam has the same expression we’re all sporting right now. Clearly it’s working. 

- Man, Sam looks like shit. Crowley wants to know where does he start with a confession? “Where do I start to even look for forgiveness?”

- I KNEW METATRON WAS A LYING LITTLE BASTARD!!! What is he trying to pull??? He’s trying to cast out the angels from Heaven?? “Our mission was to protect what God created. I don’t know when we forgot that.” You failed at your mission. You did a bang-up job at trying to destroy it.

- Wah wah!!! Is Dean going to stop the trial??? 

- MEEEEEP!!!!! Naomi got her needle jammed into the back of her head. Bye Amanda Tapping! I’ve loved seeing you again! Naomi would be in Slythering. Actually, most of the angels would be in Slytherin. Except Cass. Cass... That’s a good question. I’m not sure. Maybe Gryffindor? And now Metatron is holding a knife to Cass’s throat. 

- Oh, Sam. “You finish these trials, you’re dead Sam.”’ “So?” ARE YOU SERIOUS, SAM??? What about your whole speech of you wanting to live because you see a light at the end of the tunnel and you’re going to take Dean with you??? You can’t just be like “So?” !!!!!!

- And Cass is back on the chair. OH MAN!!! METATRON TOOK HIS GRACE!!! AND SENT HIM BACK TO EARTH!!! 

- OMG I’m going to cry... Sam. Sammy. THESE TWO!!! “We have enough knowledge on our side to turn the tide here. But I can’t do it without you.” “You can barely do it with me. I mean, you think I screw up everything I try. You think I need a chaperone, remember?” “Come on, man. That’s not what I meant,” “No, it’s exactly what you meant. You want to know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down. I can’t do that again.” “Sam--” “What happens when you’ve decided I can’t be trusted again? I mean, who are you gonna turn to next time instead of me? Another angel, another-- Another vampire? Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your brother just---” “Hold on, hold on! You seriously think that? Because none of it-- None of it-- is true. Listen man I know we’ve had our disagreements, okay? Hell, I know I’ve said some junk that set you back on your heels. But Sammy... Come on. I killed  Benny to save you. I’m willing to let this bastard and all the sons of bitches that killed mom walk because of you. Don’t you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you. It has never been like that, ever! I need you to see that. I’m begging you.”  

I CAN’T EVEN WITH THESE BOYS!!!!!And now Sam is likely dying anyway because of these trials!!!! And Sam can’t breathe!! And Cass doesn’t have his essence anymore!!! And it’s not like he could save Sam anyway. He said that a long time ago, that Sam was damaged in ways he couldn’t save him. 

- WHY IS EVERYTHING IN THE MEN OF LETTERS BUNKER SUDDENLY TURNING ON??? OH SHIT!!!! OH SHIT!!! THOSE ARE ALL THE ANGELS BEING CAST OUT OF HEAVEN!!!!

- OH!!! It’s Tommy from S1 Episode 2!! WOW!!! You know, my favorite types of fics and with the people Sam and Dean save along the way and how their lives have changed since what happened with them. OH NO!! What’s wrong with him?? I hope he doesn’t set the whole cabin on fire... WOW!!!! WHAT THE FUCK??? HIS HEAD BLEW UP!

- Oh Dean. I love you. “Honestly, my whole body hurts. And I’m nauseous and hungry at the same time. And everything smells like rotting meat.” “I’ve had that hangover. Jager, man.” LOL! 

- Dean is ignoring Cass... Oh boy. Silent treatment 101. Also, half drunk beer, jerky, and 3 peanut butter cups. That’s a lovely dinner, Dean. :D

- Huh. They have a dungeon/torture chamber. I love how Dean is like “FINALLY!” Man, I don’t know how pleasant that movie night is going to be... A Level 5 Infernal Event is no picnic. 

- Well then. That was weird. Sp, Father Thompson thought he could... cure a demon, huh? 

- Oh man, Cass shopping is hilarious. Oh look! Busty Asian Beauties again!!! AND CASS IS GETTING IT!!! HAHAHAHA!!! He really wants to get back on Dean’s good side. LOL! What is he doing with the egg?? LOL! The poor cassh teller. HAHAHA!!! He needs pie! LOL! Oh look! Metatron! 

- Metatron has been reading way too much fiction. Big family meetings never work. Wait, what?? Metatron wants to use the angel tablet to close up Heaven to... what? get the angels to play nice with each other?

- Woah... Did he just cure a demon?? Also, use a demon they already have? And what does Dean want with John’s army surgeon kit?

- Oooo, those crepes look good. So, Metatron does want to slam the pearly gates on the angels’ asses cause they’re getting rowdy and out of hand. He wants YOU to complete the tests, Cass. Also, once the gates are closed, are they closed forever? Oooh, Nephilim! I wonder who’s the heavenly donor. Also, Cass, I would run this by Sam and Dean before you start on this. You know, so you don’t go half-asses into another plan. Cause your plans never seem to work out well.

- OH!! ABBADON!!! LOL!!! *Sam opens the box* “Urgh. This is gonna to be disgusting.” “Uh huh. *small smile*” Gross. Ew. They literally stitched her back together. HAHAHAHA!!!! When Crowley calls it comes up as “666″!! LOOOOL!!! “Crowley? The salesman?” “Try the King of Hell.” “This is a joke, right?” Oh honey, you’ve been gone for way too long. Awh, sheesh!! She’s making her hands move?? Fuck, you can’t leave a demon alone for one second. The boys really should know this by now. Is she going to ride back into hell and kick Crowley off the throne? Wait. WAIT!!! They didn’t even put her in a Devil’s Trap??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? FUCKING AMATEUR HOUR GUYS!!! LOL! “Of course it’s a trap. But a trap means demon, and we could use one right now.” BECAUSE YOU’RE LIKE FUCKING AMATEURS! How do you not put her in a Devil’s Trap???

- .... Crowley got his hands on the SPN books... So, his plan is to kill everyone they’ve saved unless they promise to not close the gates of hell?

- Cass, you need to be helping Sam and Dean and not embarking in your own trials.

- GASP! SARAH!!!! WOW! I didn’t think we’d ever see her again! I liked Sarah... 

- I could see your halos, halos! I could see your halos! LOL! Sorry, that song that immediately came to mind. LOL! Cass and Metatron are getting their asses kicked by the Nephilim. And she dead. 

- Except that Crowley killed Tommy by... making his head burst. Sooo... Oh, shit. Hex bag. Meanwhile she’s suffocating. OH! IT WAS IN THE PHONE! FUCK! CROWLEY YOU UTTER AND COMPLETE ASSHOLE (i love him as a villain, he’s so good).

- KEVIN!!! Where did he end up?? Oh, he’s still in his boat? WOAH! They got the other half of the tablet and we don’t even get to see it?? Lame!

- WHAT THE FUCK??? AWH SHIT! Does that mean Crowley’s got Kevin and he’s using some sort of illusion thingamagig to get him to translate his half of the tablet? And now Kevin might tell him what the third trial is? CROWLEY YOU ASS!!!! (i love you never change)

- How are the boys ever going to figure out the last trial if Kevin is being held by Crowley and he doesn’t even know it??

- SHEESH!!! Sam hasn’t eaten in THREE DAYS?? Dean got a thermometer!! “When did you get that?” “When you started throwing out heat waves.” Awh, Sam!! All Dean wants to do is take care of you because you look like shit. SAAAAAM!!!! JUST LET DEAN TAKE CARE OF YOU!!! Even if the Trials are changing you, that doesn’t mean you can’t get your strength back. 

- AWH, KEVIN! You’re not dead. Crowley has you. And is brainwashing you. 

- Oh, Cass! HAHAHAHAH!!!! Cass is using the Biggersons to throw the angels off!!! LOL!!!! Guess those pesky Leviathans were good for one thing: expanding the Biggerson empire!!!

- HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Sam thinks that Metatron (played by the late Alan Rickman) is with the Native Americans in Colorado. And he’s schooling Dean on the racist use of the word “Indians.” OMG, Sam. I love you and your nerdy self so much. You need a haircut so bad. “We should go.” “You are delirious.”

- FUCK ANGELS ARE DICKS!!! They killed an entire Biggerson’s just to get Cass to stop! And the angels caught Cass.

- Sam’s... What’s going on with Sam? Is it just him worsening from the trials or is he sensing something because of the trials? The Native American dude knows something is up with Sam.

- OMG! THESE ANGELS ARE ASSHOLES! LOL!!! “Where is the Angel tablet, Castiel.” “In the words of... a good friend. Bite me.” 

- Does Kevin think Sam looks too good? Also, I think Kevin suspects. He’s making these faces. Also, he eats fucking hot dogs. 

- OMG SAM! HOW HIGH IS YOUR FEVER??? “Hey, you remember when, uh... Dad took us to the bottom of the Grand Canyon on that pack-mule ride?” “The what?” “And your uh-- your mule kept farting, just letting go, like gale force.” “Dude, you were like four years old. I barely remember that.” *Sam laughs hysterically and sighs* “You rode a farty donkey.” “Ok, I’m going to check out the Two Rivers Travel Museum and Trading Post.” “Yeah, yeah! I’m gonna-- I’m gonna um-- I’m gonna follow the hotel manager, Dr. Scowley-Scowl. He’s like a villain from “Scooby-Doo.” “No, Hey, uh, little big man, you should get some rest.” “Yeah, I can do that, too.” *promptly collapses back into the bed and passes out*

- HAHAHAHAHA!!!! SAM WAS RIGHT TO WANT TO FOLLOW THE HOTEL MANAGER!!! I knew that the hotel manager pegged Sam. Man, Sam looks awful. What’s with the chiming? And what’s with the room with all the package? AWH SHIT! He found out something and tried to call Dean just totally passed out!!!! NO BUENO!!!

- Back to the asshole angels. CROWLEY!!!! And he has an Angel killing gun?

- Awh man. Did Dean have to submerge Sam in ice cold water?? Was his fever THAT high?? DAMN!!! 107!!!! HAH! Sam can sense Metatron!! OH! THE BOOKS!!! STORIES!!!

- Oooo, smart Crowley. Melting down an angel blade and making bullets out of it. I’m surprised no one else had thought to do that before. “I’m the daringest devil you’ve ever met, love.” Oh noes!!!! Crowley has Cass now!! And Kevin!!! SHEESH!!! Meanwhile Sam and Dean found Metatron. 

- OMG!!! CROWLEY YOU SICK FUCK!!! DID CASS SERIOUSLY SOMEHOW PUT THE TABLET INSIDE HIMSELF??? SHIT!! HE HAS!!! FUCKING HELL!!!! THAT WAS GROSS!!! And reminded me of the Fifth Element. When the Opera singer tells Bruce Willis’s character that the pillars are inside her and he has to root around her abdomen to get them. 

- So, Kevin sent the demons into a demon trap. Does that mean that he’s realized something’s up? 

- AAAAAWWWWW!!! SAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!! YOU JUST BREAK MY HEART!!!!!! “’Knights of the Round Table.’ Had all of King Arthur’s Knights, and they were all on the quest for the holy grail. And I remember looking at this picture of Sir Galahad, And-- and-- and he was kneeling, and-- and light streaming over his face. And I remember... thinking, um, I could never go on a quest like that... Because I’m not clean. I mean, I-I was just a little kid. You think maybe I knew? I mean, deep down, that... I had... Demon blood in me and about the evil of it and that I... wasn’t pure.” “Sam, it’s not your fault.” “It doesn’t matter anymore, because these trials... They’re purifying me.” YOU HEAR THAT??? THAT IS THE SOUND OF MY HEART SHATTERING INTO A MILLION PIECES!!! Dean doesn’t even know what to say to that. The look on his face after Sam’s confession. He just looks so heartbroken. 

- Well then. Someone really like to read. Hoarder much, Metatron? 

- Awh, Sam can’t hear himself talk over the sound of Metatron’s chiming. Also, LOL! “What, you really haven’t heard of us? What kind of angel are you? W-We’re the freaking Winchesters.” HAHA!!! I mean, Sam’s right. All the Angels have heard of them considering they were the vessels for Michael and Lucifer and basically gave all the angels two giant middle fingers. You’d think if Metatron liked books and stories so much, he’d have read Chuck’s books.  :D

- HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I love how Crowley breaks down the door to the fake boat and Kevin’s just sitting there, chilling, eating his hot dog. HAHAHA!!! “How did you figure it out?” “It started when they forgot the secret knock. *Crowley rolls his eyes* But really, it-- It was the way they acted. I don’t think on their best day Sam and Dean would go into town and get me a barbecue dinner, n-not when there are left over burritos in the fridge.” “So... My demons were too polite?” *Kevin thinks about it and nods* “Yeah.” “Well, I’ll be a son of a whore.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! LOVE IT!!!!! SAM AND DEAN ARE GIANT ASSHOLES WHO WOULDN’T GET KEVIN FOOD AND THE DEMONS WERE TOO NICE!!!! Man, Sam is pissed at Metatron!! And so is Dean. For good reason, considering he’s been imitating an ostrich. But that’s nothing new with angels. Alan Rickman made a better Metaron. 

- WHAT JUST HAPPENED WITH CROWLEY??? WHO JUST SAVED KEVIN AND BURNT CROWLEY?? WAS IT CASS?? WOAH! NO! IT WAS METATRON!!! HAHAHAHA!!! He erased Crowley’s angel warding!! Cause he’s the scribe of God. LOVE IT! 

- To... Cure a demon? How do you even... What? I mean, the closest they ever got to that was Meg? Man, I don’t know that Sam will get better from these trials. I only see him getting worse and dying from them. And then somehow coming back to life because that’s just how these brothers roll.

- Dean looks utterly confused to be waking up as an Army doctor from... What year is he in now? Did he time travel again? But hey! The name on his uniform is “Winchester!” And the music continues playing even though he removed the needle. Ok, move the table blocking the door... WOAH! That’s a lot of dead people!!! Goddamn it, Dean! How the fuck did you end up in 1951 now??

- Flashback to 24 hours earlier!!! HAHAHAHA!!! Man, Sam looks like hell. “Man, I’m telling you. Give me five minutes with a clipper and--” “Awh, shut up.” Wow! Sam lay down to sleep at noon the day before?? And now he has no reflexes to catch the bottle of beer. “It’s why we don’t have nice things, Sam.” Oof, Sam didn’t even hit the target. And he REALLY looks like shit. Good job make-up department.

- The Batcave just gets better and better. “Huh. This place must be in some kind of, like, Bermuda triangle.” “What, are you saying, that we can make and receive phone calls from here and nobody can track us? Man, I love this place.” 

- OMG! CHARLIE IS STILL LARPING!!! HAHAHAHA!!! AND THE GUYS ARE INVITED TO THE JUBILEE!!! OMG!!! LOVE IT! NOOOO!!!!! CHARLIE FOUND THE SUPERNATURAL BOOKS FROM CHUCK!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! “Thanks for saving the world. Sorry you have zero luck with the ladies.” “We need to find every single copy of those books and burn them.” They’re online now, so good luck with that.” “Awesome.”

- OMG I CAN’T EVEN!!!! DEAN IS TAKING HER SHOPPING WHILE FORGING HER FAKE ID!!! THE MUSIC WAS ACTUALLY PLAYING ON HER PHONE!!! LOOOOL!!!! “*disappointed* Montage.”

- Awh, Charlie is sweet. “If it’s any consolation, having read your history. There is pretty much nothing the Winchesters can’t do if they work together.” 

- Oh, Sammy. At guess at least you hit the paper this time instead of the wall... Speaking of walls, Dean just smacked into the one known as red tape bureaucracy!!! That only took 8 seasons, LOL! 

- God, teenagers. They’re so stupid. Go ahead and poke the bloated corpse in the middle of the road with the pointy stick. Urgh, I don’t even want to see this. It’s going to explode all over them, isn’t it? Yep. And delayed reaction. 

- HAHAHA!!! Sam beat them to it. Man, Dean is going to be pissed. “Charlie, why don’t you talk to the witnesses?” “But I don’t want to miss the bro-ment.” “Charlie!” LOL! “Dean, you cannot take care of the both of us. I need to be out here. “Play through the pain,” right?” “Oh, come on, man. Don’t quote me to me.” 

- “Does this mean we don’t have to break into the coroner’s office?” “That’s a great idea.” Poor Charlie. Now she’ll get to see how these two really are: impossible. HAHAHA!!! Sam and Charlie got there before Dean! And startled him. “What took you so long?” “I stopped for gas. Shut up. The body’s in here.” LOOOOOOOOOL!!!!

- HAHAHA!!! Sam wanting Charlie’s computer monster software and Charlie wanting Dean’s book of lore. “I hate that thing. I want one.” Hmmm... What is up with Charlie? Cause the brothers have noticed that she seemed off “since the second she got here.” 

- I KNEW THE CORONER WAS THE DJINN!!! She prolly pegged them as hunters from the start.

- Damn. Talk about a fight with the Djinn. Awh, Charlie’s mom is in a vegetative state after getting hit by a drunk driver on her way to pick up Charlie from a sleepover. :(

- “You’re not going anywhere.” “Withheld scream.” “Do you know what I smell on you?” “Deodorant? A little pee, maybe?” Man, those ropes around Charlie are so slack she should be able to wiggle right out of them. Haha! She owns an abandoned shipping warehouse. Of course she does. 

- Awh, I love it when those two are on the same wavelength. African dream root! “I’m going to need to go to sleep fast. Punch me. I know that you don’t want to, but--” *Sam punches Dean hard!* “You’re a little off your game there, cause that was pretty--” *Sam uppercuts Dean, Dean goes DOWN!*

- WOW! This was Charlie’s happy place??? WHAT THE FUCK, CHARLIE?? Oh wait, no. Not this Djinn. This Djinn like the taste of fear, so it would send you to your worse nightmare instead of your happy place. HAHAHA!!! Charlie’s nightmare is a first person shooter against super-soldier vampires! LOOOOOL!!!!!

- Where’s the second Djinn? The coroner said Charlie would make a nice meal for two. Sam is all by himself guarding the two of them, while super sick. There is no way there isn’t a second Djinn. THERE HE IS!!! Hello, teenage Djinn! Sam is going to get his ass whooped. WEll, look at that. Sam managed to kill him after all.

- Awh, Charlie :( :( :( 

- AWWWH!!!!!!! “I love you.” “I know.” THE STAR WARS REFERENCE!!!!! LOOOOOOL!!!!!! I love Charlie’s relationship with them.

- AWH THESE BOYS!!!! *Sam sees Dean approaching and scrambles to stand up* “Okay, look. You were right. I-I should have laid low. I-I know. I shouldn’t hung back-- I’m glad I was able--” *Dean cuts him off by hugging his lights out* “What do you say we find our prophet?” *Sam looks utterly bewildered as Dean walks away shedding his jacket*

- Ooops. Crowley is in Kevin’s head and making him hallucinate losing limbs and breaking bones? Oh boy... The second trial is to get a soul out of Hell and deliver it back to Heaven?? But if it’s in Hell, will Heaven even accept it?? How does that even work?? And how do you even pick which soul? And how would you get that past Crowley??

- Haha! Rogue reapers. More like Charon from the River Styx than coyotes, Sam. WELL!!!!! We know what soul they’re gong to be saving now!!! Bobby’s in Hell?? I’m sure Crowley is overjoyed to have his company. 

- Who’s the creepster who saw the whole interaction? 

- Uh... That’s Purgatory. We are intimately acquainted with it from Dean’s flashbacks. Why did Ajay take Sam to purgatory??? HAHAHAHA!!!! “A back door to hell. Trust me, it will work.” “Wait, so you’re not coming with me?” “*Ajay chuckles* Don’t be ridiculous. Smuggling a mortal across the border is risky enough. But gate-crashing a Winchester into Hell seriously blows.” LOL!!! Love it. so Sam has 24 hours to get through purgatory and into Hell, get Bobby, and get out and back to where Ajay is dropping him off. Awesome. Well, Sam will get a small inkling of what Dean went through the past year.  

- Poor Kevin. He’s totally losing it. HAHAHAHA!!! Kevin took him pie. Probably out of spite. That’s what happens when you tell people to buck up instead of being sympathetic, Dean. You lose your pie. 

- MEEP!!!! CROWLEY IS IN AJAY’S CAR! NO GOOD!!! SAM IS STILL IN PURGATORY/HELL!!! Was creepster a demon spying for Crowley?? Aaaaand Ajay is dead... So how is Sam going to get out of this one...?!

- I wonder if Sam is going to get flashbacks from being in the Cage. Although I imagine that was very different from being in Hell. LOL! Sam putting his watch where the back door is located. So, if Crowley knows Sam is down there, does he have demons looking for him? Also, I thought Crowley had reorganized Hell so that it was just one endless line. Did he redecorate again?

- YAY! SAM FOUND BOBBY!! LOOOOL!!! BOBBY PUNCHED HIM CAUSE HE THOUGHT IT WAS A DEMON!!! BUT SAM PROVED IT WAS HIM BECAUSE OF TORI SPELLING AND BOBBY’S PEDICURE’S AT THE MALL OF AMERICA! LOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!

- Huh. Crowley hasn’t figure it out yet. Winchester jumbo size. Man, I LOVE all the new ways they find to make fun of Jared’s height. 

- Oh, hi Naomi. Dean will likely try to kill you now. You know, Amanda Tapping looks much better as a brunette than a blonde. Well shit now. Dean just found out that Sam’s going through Purgatory. Of course, that is the LEAST of your problems now! Cause Ajay is FUCKING DEAD! So who the fuck is going to get Sam and Bobby out of Purgatory?? Tessa?

- HAHAHAHA!!! Oh Bobby. He stabbed the closest Sam and took the 50/50 chance. LOL! Sam’s face. I have missed Bobby :(

- And Dean just found Ajay dead in his taxi. Ooops!!! Now what? 

- HAHAHA! “What is this place?” “Don’t get all pissed off. Purgatory.” “Balls!” 

- Ah, Benny. 

- “Well, I guess if there has to be an eternity, I’d pick heaven over hell.” “Yeah. ‘Cause there’s nothing screwy going on up there.” LOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!

- Oh. Wow. Benny is going to let Dean behead him so he can get to Purgatory and show Sam the way out?? Are you serious?? Awh, poor Benny. He’s finding out he doesn’t belong on Earth anymore, with humans or with Vamps. He’s a drifter, with no family or ties to anyone or anything. Oh Dean, pretty sure Benny will not be coming back topside. He doesn’t seem like he wants to come back. Man, Jensen Ackles is such an amazing actor. 

- Hah! Bobby riding on Sam cause he didn’t try to get Dean out of Purgatory. Sam had NO IDEA where Dean even was for that entire year! And there’s Benny!!! 

- Creepster demon is still there, and knows Dean was plotting something with Benny. 

- Yep. Benny wasn’t never going to try to make it back up top. 

- AWH! WINCHESTER HUG!!! THOSE ARE SO RARE!!!

- AAAAAAH!!!!!! CROWLEY YOU ASS!!!! YOU STOPPED BOBBY FROM GOING TO HEAVEN!?!?!? Where’s Naomi when you need her??? THERE SHE IS!!! I knew she’d show up. Now that Cass is (literally) in the winds, she better hope that Sam and Dean get the job done and close the gates of Hell. That’s the only way she can stop from worrying about the demons getting their hands on the Heaven tablet. LOL!!! “Don’t call me a bureaucrat.” 

- Ouch! Glowing hand is bad!!! Poor Sam...

- Heeeeey!!!! I know this girl. Isn’t that the sassy daughter of the hunter who wanted to go to college? She’s got herself a posse of teenage hunters! 

- OMG those two!!! I love these two idiot brothers so much. Sam is VERY good at getting the attention off himself. Turning the tables from Dean wanting to talk about how Sam’s feeling physically to Sam asking Dean if he wants to talk about his feelings in regards to what Cass did. “And I just want to make sure that you’re okay.” “What, like, my feelings?” “If that’s what you want to talk about, sure.” *Dean glares at Sam’s puppy dog expression for a few second* “Okay. I’ll tell you what. Why don’t I go get some, uh, herbal tea.” “Okay.” “And you can find some cowboy junkies on the dial.” “Eat me, Dean.” “And you know, we’ll just talk it out.”

- This youngin’ hunter is not going to make it for very long, is he? 

- Ok, so, Krissy’s dad is dead. And now she’s running with the other two teens, and the black girl’s family was killed by vamps (possibly not the vamp they just killed, who knows if he was telling the truth). 

- Who the hell is Victor? And get revenge on who? How does she even know she got the right vamps??

- I mean, so, everyone ends up a hunter because of a personal tragedy. These kids likely would have started hunting by themselves, especially Krissy considering that she already knew what was up. So isn’t it better that they have someone to guide them? But this Victor dude is super shifty. No hunter willingly takes on kids to train them up.

- The blue van is back!! Well, that dude seemed shifty too. Hm, he’s doing it for his kids that were ripped to shreds by a Wendigo. I’m still getting weird shifty vibes from him.

- So, kid who tied up the girl was an Afghanistan Vet? Hmm... Sounds really fishy. I mean, clearly Jimmy was a vamp, we saw the teeth. But he came back from Afghanistan a few weeks ago, and black girl said her family was killed, what? 3 months ago? That doesn’t add up. Clearly it wasn’t Jimmy. Also, blue van dude was there too! Stranger and stranger. 

- BLUE VAN IS PARKED OUTSIDE! And Sam spotted it! And he told Victor about it. I wouldn’t have done that. :-/ I don’t trust Victor farther than I could throw him, and I can’t throw him at all. I love how Sam is just walking around with a machete. LOL! 

- Dean prolly shouldn’t be going into that lodge by himself. What if that’s where the vampire nest is? You shouldn’t go into a nest alone, that’s just asking for trouble. Oh fuck, man, is that the girl from the security camera? And she clearly hass just been turned! And there’s Krissy and the teenagers. Victor is totally helping in turning innocents and then siccing the young hunters on the newly turned vamps. But WHY?? 

- And great, Sam’s walking around with him. This is not going to end well for Sam. Yep! Sam just got cold cocked. And the dude in the hoodie is a vamp! Surprise surprise! And clearly working with Victor! 

- At least Krissy isn’t an idiot. And is willing to at least see reason in the fact the girl is newly turned and they should pack her to go and go find Victor. The good thing is that they’ll find Victor with hoodie vamp and they’ll be able to turn the girl back. 

- Unless Victor is gone when they get there and instead they find Sam dead. Which, of course, won’t be the case cause there are still 2 other trials before Sam dies. Again. 

- Well! Look at that! Dean and the scooby gang got there a lot faster than I was expecting! Oh, look at that! Seth the hoodie blue van man is the one who killed everyone’s families! Which means that, by extension, Victor helped to kill their families. And then took them in. Man, that’s as twisted as Mother Goethel from Rapunzel. 

- Oh man, these kids are going to fucking murder Victor. Well, I mean, they’re going to murder Seth (after they take his blood to save the girl), and then they’re going to somehow frame Victor and make him pay for all he did to their families, but not kill him. Because I doubt Sam and Dean will let them kill him. WELL! He killed himself. Saved everyone the trouble.

- I love Dean. “Aidan. There’s something I want to tell you about Krissy.” “Yeah, you’ll me if I hurt her, blah, blah, blah.” “No. She’ll kill you. *Aidan looks over at Krissy clearly thinking Dean’s 10000% right* Good luck.”

- WTF??? WHAT IS NAOMI DOING TO CASS?? Is she brainwashing him into being okay with killing Dean (if and when the time comes)??? HOLY SHIT THAT TOOK A LOT OF DEANS TO GET CASS TO KILL HIM WITHOUT HESITATION!! I notice there are no Sams in this warehouse. I have a feeling that may have been an oversight on Naomi’s part.

- I love how Sam is just immersed in the books and Dean is raiding the weapons’ cache. “The spear of destiny. What is this-- God’s toothpick?” OMG!!!! EVEN THE MEN OF LETTERS LIKED THEIR ASIAN BEAUTIES!!! “Voluptous Asian Lovelies.” LOOOOOOOL!!!!! OMG!!! “What is wrong with you?” “What is wrong with me? You kidding me? This is a first edition, dude. You know what this would go for on eBay?” “No. Why? Do you do?” “No. Maybe. Shut up.”

- Oh Sam. How much longer do you think you can hide your blood coughing from Dean? He knows you’re full of shit and that you’re hiding something. Wrong pipe my ass. At this point you’ve been coughing for at least 2 weeks. AND THE GIG IS UP!!! DEAN JUST SAW HIS BLOODSTAINED NAPKIN IN THE TRASH! 

- So, demons are possessing people and using the humans to dig up... something...? Well, hello bunch of demons!! Poor Phd candidate. Man, those demons really want that map. And now we know who’s been killing demons! Cass is back. But that’s not good cause he was busy being brainwashed by Naomi.

- HAHAHAHAAH!!!!!! Sam and Dean talk about Castiel as soon as he’s out of the room. “You know, I can hear you both. I am a celestial being.”

- She had a thing for mutton chops? She who? Lilith? They have a hostage who saw the crypts back in the days?? WHAT IS GOING ON??? Also, Sam is now suspecting things. I love Naomi and Cass’s utter look of  “Oh shit, she’s gonna spill the fucking beans.” And she had Cass kill the demon before it could tell them what’s really going on.

- So, here’s the real question. How exactly are they going to break Cass out of Naomi’s hold when she orders Cass to kill Dean. Cause that day is clearly coming. 

- MEG!!!!!!!! MEG IS THE HOSTAGE!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! “Wait. So a bunch of innocent people died so you could buy yourself some time?” “Hi. I’m Meg. I’m a demon.” LOL!!! AND THE SECRETS OUT! The angel tablet is in one of the crypts. “You know, I get it why Crowley calls you Moose now.” I love Meg. “That’s where the crypt was.” “What’s there now?” “Do I look like Google to you?” Awh man. I am slowly sort of digging Meg/Cass. “I’m kind of good, which sucks. You’re kind of bad, which is actually all manner of hot. We survive this, I’m going to order some pizza and we’re going to move some furniture around, you understand?” LOL!!!! The poor pizza man. I wonder how badly they scarred him with what I am assuming may have been sex? 

- Boys, now is really not the time to get into this... Also, sure, why don’t you start talking about the Trials in front of Meg. Sounds like a great idea. Uh huh. Sam’s “damaged in ways” not even Cass can heal! NOT GOOD! Also, Dean and Cass together, alone... That is not good. 

- HAHAHAHA!!!! Meg trying to call herself Team Sam. You really gonna go there, Meg? YOU’RE REALLY BRINGING UP POSSESSING SAM, MEG?? THAT DOES NOT EARN YOU BROWNIE POINTS!!! I love how surprised she is by the fact that Sam quit hunting to shack up with Amelia. Now I want more Sam and Meg banter. And I want them to actually be friends... >.>

- Dean... What makes you think that a Angel would be remotely okay with Kevin translating the tablet so you can figure out what makes them tick?

- Oh Meg. I love you. Confused as to why Sam stopped after hitting the dog. Though she did pay attention to the rest of the story: she laughed, she cried, she even puked a little in her mouth. LOL! 

- Ooooh, Cass’s brainwashing is put to the test! His body is attacking Dean even as his mind is talking to Naomi and saying he won’t do it! You know, you keep hitting that tablet and that’s going to be a nice beacon for the demons. 

- OH MAN! SAM’S TOTALLY OFF HIS GAME AND CASTIEL JUST BROKE DEAN’S ARM AND REVEALED THE TABLET! Dean, don’t egg him on, man. He’s been brainwashed to being okay with killing you!!! AWH, DEAN!!! Oh, Naomi, honey. You’re giving Cass a pretty easy choice. He’s going to choose Dean and Sam every time. They’re family. 

- Oooh, did Cass become like super angel when he touched the tablet? Well, he’s free from Naomi’s control.

- And Crowley knows Sam killed his hellhound. And he told Meg the boys’ plan to close the gates of hell. And she’s okay with it since that’ll kill Crowley. Man, she REALLY hates, and no one can blame her. 

- And Cass buzzed off with the Tablet to keep it from everyone. Oh! Is Meg officially dead???

- Awh man, Naomi and Crowley got it on back in the Mesopotamia days of old? Clearly that relationship did not end well, LOL! “What do you want, you cockroach?” HAH!!! I love that Naomi fucked off as soon as he said “deal.” 

- UUUURGH!!!!!! THESE BOYS!!!! “Listen, I may not be able to carry the burden that comes along with these trials... But I can carry you. “You... realize you kind of just quote “Lord of the Rings,” right?” “Come on, Man, But it’s the rudy Hobbit, all right? Rudy Hobbit always gets a pass. Shut up. 

- Awesome. Not only is he drunk driving but also sleeping behind the wheel. And he just left him there!! AW MAN!!! Eagle is gnawing on him! That just blows. :( HOLY SHIT! He just got up! WHAT THE HELL IS RIGHT!  LOL! 

- Oooh! The boys are back home! I love that the Men of Letters bunker is home now. Awh, no, Sam is still coughing up blood :-( Sam, Dean can see right through you. He knows you’re hiding something. Hehe, Dean walking around with a bathrobe is just too funny.

- I love this state trooper. He’s totally chill with the fact the dude is a “zombie” (he’s something all right). Aim for the head is right. 

- WOAH! He’s alive again! And his injuries healed! Bobby never said that grizzly bears beat everything. Woodchipper wins because it CHIPS EVERYTHING INTO TINY PIECES! Oh, the boys got at him right quick. 

- All he does is die? HAHAHAHA!!! Dean just made a South Park reference. Is this the first South Park reference of the show? Really? I’m actually surprised if it is. 

- Who’s the creeper stalking Shane? Who somehow lost his memory in Europe after an avalanche?? These people sleep so weirdly. Woah! Girl has a knife and wants to kill him! WOAH! WITCH?! SHE JUST BLASTED SAM CLEAR OUT THE DOOR AND DOWN THE STEPS! Well, Shane can fight! DYAMN!  AND SHE JUST VANISHED! WTF?? WITCH???

- Don’t worry about it, Sam and Dean. He’ll die now and then come back to life in a couple of hours. Clearly he did some mojo training up in those European mountains and acquired the way of the something or other. 

- LOL! “I feel like I’m sitting Shiva.” “That’s not... I-- Nevermind.” Oh Dean, sitting Shiva does not mean what I think you think it means. HAHAHAHAH!!! “What do we know of that has Jason Bourne fighting skills, dies a lot, and has a history with violent women?” “I don’t know. You?”

- Okay then. Shane got jiggy with it and had a son. Does he even remember that? OMG Dean, you just can’t help yourself. But it’s true. Super awkward to have a heart attack while having sex. Oops. Yah, okay, I would freak the fuck out and run too. 

- Wait. SHANE IS A TITAN?? PROMETHEUS??? OOOOOOOOH!!!!! The bird eating his liver!! That’s part of the myth! Zeus chained him to a mountain for stealing the fire of Olympia and a bird ate his liver during the day and at night it grew back again, only to be eaten again. Oooh!! ARTEMIS! Leave Artemis to do her thing, man. 

- Awh man! Are you kidding me? The curse is hereditary?? How does Sam know that it’s genetic? And that seven marks the first rite of manhood in Greece? GODDAMN IT! YOU FUCKING WALKING ENCYCLOPEDIA! I love how they just casually talk about killing Zeus, a God. Cause, you know, they’ve actually killed plenty of gods. HAHAHAHA!!!! Dean ended up with the easy job. Buying jewelry from new age people :P

- Don’t be stupid Hayley. Did they not tell her what the plan would be? To let Zeus stew for a bit and then come back and see if he’s more inclined to talk then? *groans!* SERIOUSLY?? They didn’t bother to tell her how it was going to go down?? She’s a civilian! It’s not like she’d be privy to how hunters think! 

- Ooo, Artemis is not liking what she’s seeing. That’s cause she’s always been one of the better goddesses in Greek mythology. LOL!!! Sam trash talking a god. Love it. He has a little plan up his sleeve. Prometheus in love with Artermis? Oh msn, Sam, what journal did you get that information from? LOL! Sam name dropping Greek bard names and Dean just looking all “Who the fuck are those fuckers?” Wait. Did Sam read this somewhere or did he guess just by the way she was looking at Prometheus and the kid??

- YAH!!!! ARTEMIS AND HER SILVER BOW!!!! Like fuck she’ll obey you. Also, wait. Stop. How could Artemis and Prometheus have been having a thing?? ARTEMIS IS A VIRGIN GODDESS!!! She shunned all men! Like Athena. 

- Dude, no worries. It’s not like Prometheus can die. Unless Zeus decides to lift the curse and LET him die. Oh wait. Except that her weapons CAN actually kill gods. And Zeus did die, so does the curse die with him then? Oh, I guess so since Dean is lighting up Shane’s body. 

- AWH, DEAN! Yah, of course you know Sam’s hurting. Because he can’t hide shit from you. And asking Cass to keep a look out for Sam. I don’t know that Cass has the power to really do that :-/

- Um... Dude having vision? What? Are we back to those? Woah! He just found a shirt drenched in blood in his trash and looked surprised about it. Not good.

- LOL! Sam and Dean’s arguments about which the better stooge. Dean calling Sam’s opinion on the matter the lame-assiest.

- Awh. Dean being super worried about Sam, who just keeps telling him he’s fine (BUT WE ALL KNOW THAT’S A LIE BECAUSE SAM ALWAYS LIES ABOUT HIS HEALTH (mental or physical)). Because he doesn’t want to worry Dean. 

- Hm... There’s something at the door? Oh, it’s the dog that was with the dude from the start of the episode. AWH MAN!!! SAM WITH DOGS IS JUST SO PRECIOUS!! 

- HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! OMG!!!! OMG!!!! “Okay, okay, okay. Before you get pissed off, look, I-I just want you to know this isn’t my fault. She just showed up at the door, okay? *Dean looks utterly confused thinking Sam is talking about a girl* Didn’t track in any mud. Just wanted her belly scratched. I-I figured maybe she could stay tonight, and we’d try and find her a home tomorrow.” *Sam looks hopeful and contrite* *opens door to reveal A WOMAN with SEXY BLACK CLOTHING lounging on Dean’s bed with the dog collar. Dean cocks his head* “She can stay the night.” *Sam looks back, is surprised then looks pissed* “Two seconds ago she was a dog. All right, who the hell are you?” LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!! 

- Omg guys. You two need power women in your lives calling your shots. LOL! Also, huh. James became a witch after working with Sam and Dean, and he’s using his new found witching powers for good? Cool, as long as, you know, he’s not fucking it up and killing people. Though, it does make me wonder whether James called them or Portia called them.

- THAT DUDE JUST MOVED THE CHEST PIECE WITH HIS MIND!!! Who’s the dude talking to James? He’s fishy.

- Ooooh, witches and familiars can communicate telepathically! Fun! Except for the part where he shut her out. See James? If you hadn’t shut her out you’d know where she was and what she was doing! 

- Shit, James. Those are some really fucking nasty dreams.

- Ooops. Sam and Dean are now stuck in the middle of a familial fight and disagreement. 

- Wah wah wah!!!!! “I have been going over this and over this, asking myself why doesn’t he trust me? And it occurred to me, finally. It’s not that you don’t trust me. It’s that you can only trust you.” Dean looks might unhappy about that declaration. 

- Uh huh!!! Mysterious witness that was not mention in a police report??? That’s fishy!!!

- HAHAHAHA!!!! Dean is allergic to cats. And the fact the guy’s name is Phillip LeChat didn’t clue you in that he’s a cat Dean? That’s literally his name. HAHAHA!!!! Phillip just turned into a cat in front of Dean. But, he didn’t have a collar as a human and when he turned into a cat he had one. 

- Is a familiar and their master supposed to be hot and steamy? Also, what did Phillip mean by “It isn’t done yet”? Oooh, she just saw his nightmares! It’s not James? Oh, okay. So they’re not supposed to be sexually involved with their witches. Ok, that makes more sense. Oh man, Dean. You are so incredibly uncomfortable with the fact she’s part dog and they have sex. LOL! And Sam is just looking at him like “Shut up, man.”

- I do NOT like this head cop. he is clearly the villain here. Trying to make the cases go cold, mentioning a mysterious previously undisclosed eyewitness who saw the killer was wearing a white shirt. Uh huh... I hope Sam’s spidey senses are tingling. 

- OH DEAN! “I got to ask. I-I can’t help but wonder--” “Which came first, dog or girl?” “Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I’m just curious as to which one you consider yourself, mostly.” “This have anything to do with what I told you about James and me last night? How you’re imagining it?” “*Dean looks like he was just caught with his hand in the cookie jar* What? No, that’s... *chuckles uncomfortably* Yes.” LOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!

- OH GOD! Sam congratulating Dean on not making bestiality jokes in 15 hours. And yet, Sam doesn’t know that Dean asked Portia about it! LOOOL!!!!

- WHAT WHAT!!!!! WITNESS WAS THE CAT!!!!! DIDN’T I SAY SPENCER WAS FISHY??? AND THE COP TOO!!!!

- HAHAHAHA!!! “Please, don’t hurt my face.” Woooooooah!!!!! Spencer just killed his familiar without a second thought. 

- Are you fucking kidding me??? Spencer is jealous that Portia chose James over him as her master?? Oh GOD!!! Do not even compare that to goddamn Twilight! BATTLE OF THE WITCHES!!!!!! MEEEEP!!! NOOO!!!! Why you bringing up Hell for Sam again??? And Mary and Hell for Dean!!! Stop that you evil man!!!! GO PORTIA, GO!!!! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS ONE FUCKING EFFECTIVE WITCH KILLING SPELL!!! 

- How is James going to convince the cops that it wasn’t him? Well, running away and starting over is one way of doing it. 

- “I trust you, Sammy. With this deal, locking those sons of bitches up in the furnace once and for all, it’s too important not to. So, if you say you’re good... Then that’s it. I’m with you 100%.” “*Sam start coughing and his voice gets all rough* I’m good.” OH SAM!!! You’re not selling it. Saying you’re good, and then coughing up blood. SAM YOU ARE JUST FUCKING INCAPABLE OF TELLING DEAN THE TRUTH WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR HEALTH!!!! Although that might have been the first time he’s coughed up blood. But I bet he hasnn’t been feeling well since he was done with the first trial. 

- Oh man, Kevin, was that hot dog breakfast, lunch, or dinner? Or all three? Fuck, you’re gonna give yourself an ulcer honey bunch, with all those aspirins. KEVIN!!! You gave yourself a nose bleed!! And likely a concussion from fainting like you just did. But clearly you found out something important if all the “Holy crap!” is anything to go by.

- LOL! Sam is still in nerd/geek heaven. And it’s keeping Dean occupied too. OH MAN!!! IS THAT THE ROOM HE PICKED FOR HIMSELF?? OMG HAVE THE BROTHERS FOUND A PLACE TO SETTLE DOWN FOR A BIT?? THEY ARE!!!! OMG!!! DEAN IS SO EXCITED!!!! “Not bad? I haven’t had my own in room... ever. I’m making it awesome. I’ve got my kickass vinyl. I’ve got this killer mattress. *Sam looks confused* Memory foam. It remembers me. *Sam nods and pops in some gum* And it’s clean, too. There’s no funky smell. There’s no creepy motel stains. *Sam throws the gum wrapper and misses the garbage can, fake shrugs* Really?” “*puts up hands apologetically* Sorry.” “*disgruntled*I’m gonna go fix us some grub.” HAHAHAHA!!!! Love it.

- “*Sam looks impressed at the burgers* You made these?” “We have a real kitchen now.” “I know. I-I just didn’t think you knew what a kitchen was.” “I’m nesting, okay? Eat.” OMG!!!!! YES YOU ARE, DEAN! YES, YOU ARE!!! AND I LOVE IT!!! 

- LOOOL!!!!! Kevin calls telling Dean to come quick. Dean leaves without finishing his burger, Sam starts to leave then turns around and grabs his to go. Sam is totally making Dean do ALL THE COOKING from now on. Clearly poor Jessica wasn’t able to teach this boy anything in their 2 years or so of dating.

- *wheezes!* OMG DEAN!!! First trial involves killing a hellhound and bathing in its blood. And Dean is like “YAH! BRING IT ON! I will do anything to close the gates to hell!” And apparently hot dogs are made of ground up hooves and pigs’ anuses. LOL!

- WHAT? DEAN??? WHAT’S WITH THE TOMATOES??? “Did you know that there are 6,000 kinds of tomatoes?” LOOOL!!! “I got you a present! *hands Kevin 2 big bottles of pills* The blue ones are for headaches. The green ones are for pep. Don’t OD.” 

- LOL!!! They just got jobs cleaning out the stables. LOL!!! “So, Alice?” “Ding-ding-ding.” “Should we talk to her?” “Why? So she can lie to us and then call the cops? No. No, we’re gonna have to go stalker on this one, Sammy.” LOVE IT! OH SHIT! IT WAS THE HUSBAND!!!!

- OH! WAIT!!! CARL HAD A SEPARATE DEMON DEAL TO MAKE ALICE LOVE HIM?? CARL YOU ASSHOLE!!!

- DEAN YOUR PLAN IS HORRIBLE!!! Don’t let Crowley in on what the hell you’re doing and what it could be for!!! You gotta fly under the radar, you dumb schmuk. 

- Oh god. Let’s see who the rich assholes are gonna be. Yep, the grill is right up Dean’s alley. Dean. Why are you grilling still wearing your coat?? And Sam has server experience (Season 5 Episode... 2? 3? When he was a server and the hunters found him and tried to make him drink demon blood.)  OMG! Dean just gets all flustered whenever someone hits on him as opposed to the other way. It’s so funny. HAHAHAHA!!!! “Really? Keep it coming, Ken doll.” Has Sam been called a Ken doll before? 

- OOOOH SHIIIIIT!!!! CROWLEY MADE THE DEAL!!!!! 

- OMG! JESUS JUICE (holy oil)!!!! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!! 

- SO FLUSTERED!!! “Hey. I think you’re really hot. Wanna go to my room and... have sex?” “What?” Awh, Dean. Sucks to be on the job, huh? You know what would be really helpful for Sam right now? Glasses burnt by Jesus juice. Awh, Margie. I had a feeling. It’s always the unassuming ones. But I bet more than one family member made a deal with Crowley. He tends to be very persuasive. 

- Dean continues to not see a light at the end of the tunnel. He still hasn’t gotten over everything that’s happened since Season 4 and still want to throw in the towel and just have this hunter life over with. And at the same time, he’s just being the best older brother. He just wants his kid brother to be safe and happy. This was an absolutely fucking heart wrenching speech. 

“When are we ever safe?” “This is different.” “How?” “Because of the three trials crap. God’s little obstacle course. We’ve been down roads like this before, man. With yellow-eyes, Lucifer, Dick friggin’ Roman. We both know where this ends. One of us dies... Or worse.” “So what-- You just up and decided it’s gonna be you?” “I’m a grunt, Sam. You’re not. You’ve always been the brains of this operation.” “Dean--” “And you told me yourself that you see a way out. You see a light at the end of this ugly-ass tunnel. I don’t. But I tell you what I do know. It’s that I’m gonna die with a gun in my hand. ‘Cause that’s what I have waiting for me. That’s all I have waiting for me. I want you to get out. I want you to have a life. Become a Man of Letters, whatever. You, with a wife and kids and--- and-- grandkids, living till you’re fat and bald and chugging Viagra.  That is my perfect ending. And it’s the only one that I’m gonna get. So I’m gonna do these trials. I’m gonna do them alone. End of story. You’re staying here. I’m going out there. If landshark comes knocking, you call me. If you try to follow me, I’m gonna put a bullet in your damn leg.”

Oh Dean. Like Sam is going to let you do that without a fight. Hah. That’s funny. 

- Seriously though, there’s no way Ellie hasn’t made some sort of deal. HAH!!! I KNEW IT!!!! Awh, her mom had Parkinsons.

- OUCH! Dean just got swiped by Crowley’s pet hellhound. I wonder if that’s the same hellhound that he summoned in Season 5 when they held Brady captive. 

- AWH!!! GROSS SAM!!!! YOU’RE DRENCHED IN HELLHOUND BLOOD!!!! Dean is gonna fucking put a bullet in your leg and then straight up murder you for that. Sam, you need to say the words after being drenched in the blood!

- Here we go! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! “Sam, I didn’t pass the test!” “No, but I did. And I’m doing the rest of them.” “My ass you are.” “I’m closing the gates. It’s a suicide mission for you.” “Sam...” “I want to slam Hell shut too, okay? But I want to survive it. I want to live, and so should you. You have friends up here, family. I mean, hell, you even got your own room now. You were right, okay? I see light at the end of this tunnel. And I’m sorry you don’t-- I am. But it’s there. And if you come with me, I can take you to it.” “Sam, be smart.” “I am smart, and so are you. You’re not a grunt, Dean. You’re a genius. When it comes to lore, to-- You’re the best damn hunter I have ever seen. Better than me, better than dad. I believe in you, Dean. So, please-- Please believe in me, too.”

OMG SAM!!! QwQ These brothers and their fucking heartbreaking speeches to each other!!!

- Well... That looked damn fucking painful. Brilliant light that LIT UP HIS FOREARM FROM THE INSIDE!!! BUT YAH, SURE, YOU’RE TOTALLY OKAY SAM!! 

- Is it a Golem? The thing that’s after the Nazis? Hm, didn’t have anything written on its forehead.

- Haha! Look at all those books! Sammy is in geek heaven! “Sammy, I think we found the bat cave.” I love that Dean has showered and Sam is still in last night’s clothes. He has CLEARLY been up all night looking through books. OMG, I can’t even. Dean went straight for the scimitar like a boy in a candy shop. “Dean, they were a secret society.” “Which means they made crap up and wore fezzes and sashes and swing around scimitars. They probably didn’t even shar-- *cuts his finger on the VERY sharp blade* That’s very sharp. ”

- Ooo, old man Rabbi found the Nazi’s book that was in the suitcase the night of the not-Golem massacre. Well, old man Rabbi knows he’s about to be dead. WOAH! HE’S BURNING ALIVE!!! The Nazi dude set him on fore?

- They’ve been there for 2 weeks?? Wait, did Dean leave Sam there to geek out in peace? He’s such a nice brother sometimes, LOL. Oh Dean, don’t even pretend you’re not happy to have a case. You just spent two weeks seeing Kevin and Garth? Uh huh...

- Sam. Sammy. Your pants aren’t even the same color as your suit jacket. Can’t you guys at least afford to have matching suits when you pretend to be whatever you’re pretending to be this time around?

- Oh for fuck’s sake. That’s all we were missing in this series. NECROMANCERS!

- Who’s the dude in the back who just waves at Dean? Am I supposed to know him? WHAT?? “So, uh, we... We didn’t have a thing back there, huh?” *Dean looking SUPER uncomfortable* “Back where? W-What, now?” HAHAHAHA!!! Dean being hit on by a guy and not knowing what to do is sort of fucking hilarious. “Okay, citizen. As you were.” OMG DEAN! HE IS SO FLUSTERED!!! He’s totally lost all his cool and is bumping into tables and is just... OMG!!! 

- Oh, nice code word there. “Looks like I have something stuck in my shoe.” for when they’re being followed. OH WOW!!! It’s the not-Golem!!! HOLY SHIT DEAN JUST WENT FLYING OUT OF THE BUSHES AND STRAIGHT INTO THE CAR AND SMASHING THE WINDOWS!!! OH! IT’S GAY DUDE! LOOOOL!!! Dean in the background “Oh, my spleen.” 

- I WAS RIGHT!!!!! HE’S A GOLEM!!!!! It’s like the only Jewish “monster” that we have, lol! 

- “So, you and me, we didn’t have a moment?” “No man, I was tailing you.” “I told you I was being followed. He was my gay thing.” HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

- Dean, stop talking to the Golem like he’s an idiot. He can speak in complex sentences so clearly he understands complex things. Good going Sam, mentioning the Men of Letters. 

- *CACKLES!!* OH!!! THE PHILOSOPHICAL REPRIMAND FROM THE GOLEM!!! “I didn’t go crazy.” “You trashed my entertainment center! And my water bed.” “This boy knows nothing. Observes none of the mitzvahs, labors on Sabbath, dines on swine.” “EVERYBODY LOVES BACON!” “He’s no Rabbi. Yifalchunbee!” LOL! Take charge! OMG! Aaron is such your typical Reform Jew! Cheated his way through Hebrew school. Who didn’t?

- OMG SAM YOU ARE SUCH A GEEK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! MY GEEKY NERDY HEART LOVES YOU SO MUCH!!!! He takes ONE FUCKING LOOK at the number and is like “It’s a call number. The Library of Congress-- Their filing system. They use is in college libraries. Q-L-173, that’s sciences. Uh... Bird, I’m guessing.” SAM!!! SAM!!! HOW DO YOU KNOW OFF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD THAT QL173 IS SCIENCES??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Dean is just like “Geeks.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “

- OH SHIT!!! SAM WAS JUST HIT WITH A DART AND NOW HE’S GOT PURPLE STUFF SPREADING IN HIM!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT STUFF?? OH SHIT IT’S LIKE NECROMANCER CRAP!!! SAM DOES NOT LOOK GOOD!!! Good idea, send the Golem after him! it doesn’t matter if he’s hit with the dart, he’s (dreidel dreidel dreidel, i) made out of clay. (i’m sorry i couldn’t help myself)

- LOL!!!!! Just casually grab the Nazi through the books and bang him against the shelves until he loses consciousness. And then drag his unconscious ass around. :D Well, that’s nice. Kill the spellcaster, end of the spell. 

- HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!! I FUCKING LOVE IT!!! Aaron wakes up in the back of the Impala to Sam and Dean finishing up from digging a grave, and sees them dumping the Necromancer and burning his remains. And then Sam casually warms his hands over the fire of what was his corpse. LOL!!!!

- O.M.G. AARON!!!! YOU USED THE PAGES OF THE MANUAL’S GUIDE TO USING A GOLEM TO SMOKE POT????? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???

- OH HEY!!! IT’S THE NAZI BASTARD FROM THE START OF THE EPISODE THAT SET FIRE TO EVERYTHING!!

- Smart, Sam. Hide the book as fast as you can! Not that he hid it very well. OOOPS!!! Eckhart deactivated the Golem right quick. He clearly found a copy of the Manual to Your Very Own Golem. Oh look, you write your name on the scroll in its mouth.

- LOL! “It reminds me of a story. A Jew, two gentiles, and a Golem, walk into a bar. And it doesn’t end with them coming out.” LOL! “Fools! You can kill me, but you will never kill all the Thule!” *both Sam and Dean shoot him in the head* 

- Awh man. “What are you doing?” “Ordering-- I’m making a card entry for our copies from the Tule’s red ledger for our collection.” “So, uh, what? Arron’s a J.I., and... You’re a Man of Letters now? Is that it? *Sam scoffs softly* Good.”

THIS EPISODE!!!! I CAN’T EVEN!!!! As a reform Jew, I totally empathize with Aaron. Also, as a Reform Jew who has pothead friends, that scene where he talks about using the pages to roll pot? Yeah, I could totally see my friends doing that. 

BUT CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT SAM FOR A SECOND HERE??? BECAUSE!!!!! OMG!!!! NOW WE KNOW WHO HE TAKES AFTER!!!! TOTALLY GRAMPA WINCHESTER!!!! He loves research and libraries and knowledge (he is such a Ravenclaw)!!! We know he’s never been comfortable hunting. But research? Totally up his alley. And seeing in that library! It’s pretty much the first time we’ve seen him totally comfortable in the Supernatural world. He would have EXCELLED at being a Man of Letters. IT’S TOTALLY HIM!!! Dean takes after Samuel Sr. and his mom in that respect, where he’s all about the hunt. And Sam totally takes after Henry Winchester where he’s all about the knowledge and the research. This is why Sam and Dean are such an amazingly effective team. The Brains and the Brawn. I want Sam in that library and happy forever.

- 1958, cool. Another time traveling episode? Also, America has the weirdest town names. Normal. LOL! Man, look at that hairdo? That looks amazing. WOAH!!!! Ms. Sands of the super amazing hairdo is a demon! Abbadon? Henry looks like he knows what he’s doing. So he’s a hunter. SPEAKING ENOCHIAN! Yep! Time travel!!! Looking for John Winchester. Oops, sorry to disappoint, but John can’t come to your help right now. Please make do with his sons.

- HAHAHAHA!!!! Henry handcuffed the two of them! LOL!!!! OH DO NOT BREAK THE IMPALA’S WINDOW HENRY!!!! DEAN IS GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU!!! He did. And now he’s going to-- Nope. Dean got there first. 

- HO SHIT!!! THE KNIFE DOESN’T KILL HER!!!! That means she’s on Lucifer’s level! Or Crowley’s? Would the knife work on Crowley?

- WHAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!!!! She has invade people a little bit to access their memories??? WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!

- I love how annoyed Dean is about the time traveling crap that keeps happening. “Dudes time traveling through motel-room closets? That’s what we’ve come to?” 

- WAH WAH!!!! HENRY IS GRAMPA WINCHESTER!!!!!!! DAAAAMN!!!! Boys have hunters on both sides of the family. Awh, Henry likely never wanted to leave John. He probably went to the future and then died :( :( Look at how he looks at the picture of him and John! QwQ

- “I freaking hate time traveling, man.” At this point, there have been, what? Four episodes involving time travel? 

- Men of Letters. Is that like being a Mason? Dude, Henry, it’s not like John knew what the fuck you were up to. You time-traveled, remembered? Never to return! And you’re not endearing yourself to Dean. “Hunters are apes.” 

- LOL! That’s a funny joke. “You boys ever exhume a body.” Like, all the time.

- Abbadon, honey, you have GOT to change your clothes. Walking around with blood splattered all over you is not a good look. But man, you are still rocking that hairdo.

- Man, the boys have the worst grandparents. Henry making them dig up bones and then cover them back up.

- Awh, crap. Lucifer again. Abbadon is a knight of Hell hand-picked by Lucifer. 

- Awh! John’s notebook was going to be Henry’s :( And Henry just figured out that he won’t see John again. 

- Oh, I had a feeling that lady with Larry was a demon. Not Abbadon, but I had a feeling she was not who she was portraying to be. And Sam just got punched in the face. Ooops!

- Dean is going to clock him and take him to Abbadon by force. Sam’s life is on the line. Look at his face! Totally gonna punch his lights out. Ah, choke hold. Close enough!

- Hahaha! “When my dad died, I couldn’t save him. No matter how bad I wanted to. I never want that to happen to Sam. Ever. If there’s a chance that I can save him, I’m gonna do it. He’s my brother. He’s the only family I got.” YAH NO SHIT YOU’RE GONNA DO IT!! YOU FUCKING SOLD YOUR SOUL FOR HIM! Remember that?? Cause I do! That was 5 fucking seasons ago!!

- LOL! I wonder what trick they have up their sleeve. OH! I JUST NOTICED ABBADON STOLE THE COMIC BOOK GIRL’S CLOTHES!! “The devil made me do it.” 

- AWH! HENRY!!!! Bye :( How is Henry still standing? He just got a hand shoved into him! OH SHIT! THAT’S FUCKING BRILLIANT!!! CARVING A DEVIL’S TRAP INTO THE BULLET! 

- HENRY!!!! :( :( :( Man, between the Campbells and the Winchesters, these two boys have had the worse luck. OH MAN!!! I JUST REALIZED!! IF HENRY HAD SURVIVED AND JOHN HAD BECOME A MAN OF LETTERS, JOHN WOULD HAVE NEVER GOTTEN TOGETHER WITH MARY BECAUSE HE WOULD HAVE LOOKED DOWN ON HER HUNTER STATUS BECAUSE HE’D HAVE BEEN TOTALLY POMPOUS ABOUT IT!!!! LOOOOOOL!!!!!! 

- And Sam just confirmed it. About Heaven busting their ass off getting Mary and John together. The brains and the brawns. And all Dean sees is a whole lot of dead :( 

LARPing OMG LOOOOOOOVE!!!!!!!! Never done it myself but looooool!!!!

- Oooo, weird tattoo suddenly showed up on his arm! And now there are horse hoof sounds! HOLY SHIT! His hands and feet were ripped off or whatever!!!

- Yah, Dean. Sam hasn’t had fun since Jessica died.

- OMG!!! This interview with the LARPer is hilarious. Figures Dean would think LARPing looks fun. CHARLIE IS THE QUEEN OF MOONS!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! OH GOD!!! FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!

- Uh huh! Greyfox the Mage got the tattoo of doom!!! WOAH!!!! That’s... fucking gruesome. 

- HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Sam and Dean need to do more research about FBI badges and what’s what before they get caught out with someone who cares more than a LARPer. 

- HAHAHAHAHA!!!! DEAN JUST CAN’T HELP HIMSELF!!! HE HAS TO GIVE BATTLE STRATEGY!!!! He was probably fierce at WAR. Man, Dean is way too pleased to be playing LARP. Well, at least Dean recognizes that he was a total dick. Also, LIAR DEAN!!! LISA AND BEN!!!!

- That’s right! I forgot Charlie was gay. Because it was SO LOW KEY AND FABULOUS! LOOOOL!!!! WHAT THE FRACK THIS THING IS!!! Someone is a BSG fan. Of course. 

- HANDMAIDEN!!! LOOOOL!!!!

- Ooops, Charlie’s been... kidnapped? Also, fairies?? I love how the phone says “NO SIGNAL” in BIG BOLD LETTER! JUST TO BE VERY CLEAR!!

- Lulz! “This has been a great, uh, kidnapping. But I have to get back to not dying so, good talk.” HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Pretty girl under the bone mask and Charlie INSTANTLY is like “Oooh, I’d like to hit that!” Man, she and Dean can be each others’ wingperson.

- So, Fairy was summoned and bound. Awesome. That never ends well for the summoner. I love how Charlie actually said “Swoon.” And now she’s making out with the fairy. LOL!

- Somehow I had a feeling the dude (Gerry/Boltar the Furious) was the “Master.” HAH! Their guns became chicken feathers! Good job Charlie!!! Destroy that book like Harry did with the Tom’s diary!!! STAB IT!!! Instead of, I don’t know, burning it in the fireplace. 

- LOOOOL!!! “Call me, maybe.”

- NOOOOO!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! FUN SAM????? BOTH OF THEM JOINED CHARLIE’S ARMY??? DEAN IS CHANNELING BRAVEHEART!!!!! HIS WIG!!!! OMG!!!!!! “Is this speech from--” “It’s the only one he knows.”

OMG!!!! MY POOR HEART TODAY!!!! BRAZIL WON 2-0 AGAINST COSTA RICA BUT I WAS EMOTIONALLY DRAINED FOR THE REST OF THE DAY!!! I managed to get some work done but then I’ve been reading fics for the rest of the day instead of doing my chores and going to the gym. I now feel well enough to watch SPN.

- OH LOOK! The poor angel is still there with Crowley. Good grief. The poor angel. 

- I swear, Sam’s pretty copper toned hair. Dean, you’re being such an unreasonable asshole. If Sam were doing what you are, you’d be reacting the EXACT SAME WAY Sam is!!! Oh, wait, you DID! WITH RUBY! And you were RIGHT! And now you’re just going to be the hypocrite about it and make Sam feel guilty about it??? Bullshit. 

- HAHAHAHA!!!! Cass scaring the shit out of Dean is always funny. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! BUSTY ASIAN BEAUTIES STRIKES AGAIN!!!!!

- See, Dean? This is why it was REALLY SHITTY of you to pretend to be Amelia. Because Sam knows he can’t have this, can’t be with her, that the right thing would be to let her be with Don. And if Sam had pulled the shit you did and pretended to be Lisa, HEAVEN FORBID!!!! He’d have been so pissed he might have punched Sam and then run off in the Impala. But no, because he did it, then it’s totally okay to be pissed at Sam when he’s pissed at Dean for TRUSTING A VAMP AND PLAYING ON HIS EMOTIONS!!! YOU HYPOCRITE DEAN!!! *waves ‘Sam Winchester Defense Squad’ flag*

- Woah, what’s Alfie doing with his weird language? Is that Enochian? LOL! IT’S A BURNING BUSH!!!! IT WAS ENOCHIAN!!! Sol-Voch-Tay = “Obey”

- Okay, well, we all know how that’s going to end. Sam is going to be busy helping Dean and Cass break out Alfie and won’t be there to meet up with Amelia.

- Dean, I’m pretty sure if you took your head out of your and called Sam, he’d come. Because bros before anything. That used to mean something to you before you went to Purgatory. 

- Hi Kevin! W00t for Demon TNT!!!

- Ooops!!!! They’ve hacked into Alfie’s operating system. 

- Dean, Kevin don’t wanna talk to you. And there’s Benny. Benny is still going to do something stupid and betray Dean and then Sam is going to have to bail him out or something.

- Awh, man, Kevin. It’s never over, honey. You need to enjoy things as they come because there’s always another thing.

- LOL! Cass went to find Sam :) Hahaha! “And I need you, as you say, to stow your crap. Can you do that?”

- Sam has been spotted! Sam has dealt with his demon! And so has Dean. Oh, fun! Demon TNT!

- What did Naomi do to him that he’s having flashbacks of her drilling into his eye??? And what is Alfie giving up with his Enochian?? Ah shit, man. There’s an Angel tablet??? Why would God make an Angel tablet??? LOL! Holy mother of sin. Hehehe.

- OH SHIT!!! NAOMI MADE CASTIEL KILL ALFIE!!!!! I’m sorry, but that’s not why you had Cass kill Alfie. You had him kill Alfie because Alfie was going to tell Cass about HOW YOU’RE CONTROLLING THE ANGELS FOR SOME NEFARIOUS REASON!!!! SAM CARTER WHY ARE YOU EVIL NOW???

- Sam and Dean clearly know something is wrong with Cass. 

- Sheesh, finally Dean. You’re admitting you were jealous. Jealousy makes you an asshole. Well, Dean said bye-bye to Benny, and Sam didn’t show to the motel. 

One more because I’m nervous about Brazil playing tomorrow, meeeeeeep!!!!

- Yo, Benny is working at a dinner in Louisiana!!! And going by “Roy.” The hunter following Benny ain’t being too subtle about it. Oh! There’s Chief! On the ground with some marks all over his neck.

- OH! It’s Martin from the Wraith episode! LOL! Sam put “mostly okay” Martin on Benny. Dean is not best pleased about it. 

- How long are we going to get Sam flashbacks? I suppose Dean’s time in Purgatory was faster to explain. One year spent killing things, trying to find Cass, trying to find the portal, and then getting the hell out of through the portal. Sam’s year was much more emotionally charged. 

- Haha, Sam. Going to hell for saying you want to stay with Amelia. That’s funny.

- So, is Benny hunting the Vamp putting the holes in the people’s necks or is he the Vamp putting them holes? Ah, so, rogue vamp who wants Benny to become part of his new nest. 

- LOL! Yah, you don’t wanna mess with Sammy. Cause not only is he damn good, but push comes to shove Dean will put him ahead of you. 

- Oooooo!!!!! “In fact, every relationship I have ever had has gone to crap at some point. But the one thing I can say about Benny, he has never let me down.” “Well, good on you, Dean. Must feel great finally finding someone you can trust after all these years.” Man, Sam sounds so betrayed. And hurt. Way to plunge that knife in there and TWIST it, Dean.

- Woah Martin!!! That’s a hell of a hook.

- Awh, Don is such a nice guy... And surprisingly mentally stable from what we’re shown? I’m assuming he was POW? For them to think he was dead and then he mysteriously returned? And from what he said about there being days he thought he was dead. 

- Dean trying to pick the lock. I’m surprised they left him with the tools to do that. Well, at least Sam left Dean the Impala.

- Amelia contacting Sam after all these weeks? Sam, what are you doing? You just left Martin there? You didn’t even tell him you were taking off? It’s fucking 12 hours from Carencro, LA to Kermit, TX!!! 

- I think Dean’s been lured into a trap. And Sam’s been called away 12 hours from him?? Oh, guess it wasn’t really a trap. Though Dean was used as bait. Ooops, Benny’s being tempted with Dean’s blood. 

- Awh, Sam is just... He’s just genuinely such a good guy who just wants to do the right thing. Life keeps throwing shit at him over and over and over again and he just keep taking on the hits and he keeps on getting back up and just... I have so many feels for Sam. :(

- THERE IS NO PHYSICAL WAY POSSIBLE THAT SAM IS ALREADY 26 MILES FROM KERMIT TEXAS IN THE SAME NIGHT IN LIKE 3 HOURS!!! THE TWO TOWNS ARE 780 MILES AWAY FROM EACH OTHER! THERE IS NO WAY THAT OLD CRAP CAR DOES MORE THAN 60 MILES AN HOUR!!!

- Oh, woah, we still have like 12 minutes of air time. 

- Oh, Martin. You’re such an idiot. You’re so dead, you dumbass. Awh, Roy laying down to save Elizabeth. Martin is so dead,

- Soooo... Amelia looks fine...? With Don...? So... Who sent Sam that text? And why wasn’t her phone connecting? I’m so confused. Also, Dean’s just like, driving on and away and not wondering where Sam is? Last he knew Sam was with Martin and it’s not like he and Martin talked about Sam... There are a lot of loose holes in this episode. 

- Ooops, Elizabeth is covered in blood that did not appear to be hers. Martin done fuck up dead.