DON'T TEST ME

It wasn’t rational, probably not even remotely a good idea, But Pumpkin couldn’t leave Diah. Not again. Not with the horrible feeling that what happened to the other woman may somehow, in the smallest, most indirect way might be her fault. That are Pork and Beans missed her so much. And who could say no to Pork’s face?

That’s what she told herself nursing this woman back to health, sleeping beside her hospital bed, helping her through therapy. It would make her dogs happy. Nothing about the feeling in her chest when she looked at her. A light as freedom and as heavy as a secret. It definitely was the way her pulse picked up or her face flushed, it was because she was a good dog mom and she’d save this person they l… iked a very very very large amount.

However there was no such excuse for showing up at Diah’s apartment with her favorites from Sun Kong Palace when she was already fully recovered. Beans stalking off somewhere to observe all this and help himself to spare ribs when no one is looking. Pork dancing happily, showing off his brand new service vest, now with reflective strips! Pumpkin, arms full with a bright smile for the company. For a few brief moments things almost felt normal again. But too bad food and small talk can only last so long and silence takes no time at all to get awkward.

She was teasing Pork with another bit of chicken when Diah started talking. Attention fully stolen, the corgi ran off with his prize while Pumpkin could do nothing but stare. “I… yeah.” Fingers ran through her hair, almost mirroring the motion Diah just had done. The food was pushed away onto the table in front of her, no longer interested as her mind flashed back to the state the other Awoken had been in. “I’d say you don’t have to say it if you don’t want to, but that’s bullshit cause you already did. And I, uh… I’m also glad we found you.” A bit of a laugh as she looked up from where she had been watching herself pick her cuticles bloody. Again. “I know what hell is like and I’m just sorry we weren’t there sooner.”

Diah just nodded at first, thinking about what Pumpkin had said. She knew to a point that the other woman had been through something similar. Worse, even, which was hard to even imagine with how the titan had barely even survived the experience. A swallow, then, nervous from that thought, amplified by the tension that she'd brought to the room.

She brought a few noodles up to her mouth, eating them, but the taste felt like it had disappeared as she chewed them slowly. For just a second, she considered leaving the conversation there -- but, no, she'd probably already ruined the chance of them going back to talking about normal things.

Reaching out, she sat the container down on the table in front of her for the time being. "I'm glad you guys found me, too." She replied finally, though her mind flashed back to how embarrassing it had been at the time to be seen so weak and horrible. In the end, though, it was better than the alternative of not coming home at all, ever.

"I guess I just..." The slightest pause. "I guess I just don't get it." Her eyes shifted towards Pumpkin but just barely. "Why you came, after... you know."

She almost wanted to laugh at herself. Usually so bold and direct, Diah struggled to find words as she remembered how things had ended before. The heartbreak and how stupid she'd felt after Pumpkin couldn't handle her accidental confession.

Pumpkin had barely ever left her side since the day she'd been rescued. Between the woman and Prestigious, Diah had never been alone in the few long weeks she'd had to stay in the hospital, the damage to her body so bad that not even Percy could fix it easily. And in those weeks, it was so, so appreciated -- Diah not sure if she ever wanted to be alone anyway after so long, starving in solitude.

But now, she had finally been released from the hospital, and her thoughts got confusing. Pumpkin had rescued her alongside the others, stayed by her side, helped nurse her back to health. And yet, the last time they'd spoken before all of this had been a very bad conversation -- one that Diah had been able to push aside when she was recovering, but now began to bubble up and sting at her heart all over again.

She was back in her own little tower apartment, now, insisting she could live on her own. But when Pumpkin had shown up with some dinner, she'd been secretly so relieved, feeling too exhausted to cook anything for herself that evening. They sat on the couch, snacking on a mix of chinese food, and at first things were fine. Pumpkin asked her how she'd been, they talked a bit about that, and then joked a bit as Pork danced for a piece of sweet and sour chicken.

But when the neutral topics were exhausted they fell back into silence. And Diah's thoughts started to flare up again, staring down at her chow mien as she passively picked at it, trying to find words to express the questions she'd wanted to ask, trying to find the courage to say them.

"Hey." She shifted her eyes just barely towards the other woman's direction. "I, uh." A huff -- running her fingers through her recently-cut mohawk. God, she was so glad that long hair she'd grown was gone, at least. "I know I haven't really got a chance to say it, but I really.... I'm really glad you came with P to find me."

The words make Diah’s lips twitch downwards, eyes shifting to the side. She felt like she couldn’t even look at Pumpkin in that moment, sitting next to her for the first time in... Light, how long had it been since those words had slipped? A week? Two?

It had been an accident. Three stupid words -- "I love you" -- slipped from her lips after an evening of fun and flirting and laughter. Diah knew that she wasn't supposed to say them, she knew that Pumpkin said that she didn't want to settle down and be a thing. But they'd spent so much time together as time went on, more and more nights in each other's arms, teasing and competing and fucking. And she'd known for a bit that she felt that way about Pumpkin, but she'd tried hard not to break the agreement they'd made to just be... friends with benefits? Diah wasn't even sure what they were supposed to be, actually, just that Pumpkin didn't want to be tied down.

The moment she'd said it, she had regretted it. It was hard to forget the way that Pumpkin's face had twisted with realization, pulling away from the embrace. Laughter from just a few seconds before was gone from the air completely, and Diah tried to apologize, but it was already too late. Just like that, the night had been ruined, and Pumpkin had left her -- pretending she hadn't intended to stay and getting dressed so fast, somehow she'd left her bra behind.

Then they'd avoided each other for a while, until today. But Diah was already regretting asking Pumpkin to meet her, because as soon as she'd seen the other woman her heart had clenched and twisted. Ever since that night, she'd been thinking a lot, going back and forth between wanting Pumpkin and wondering if it was even worth it.

And now, sitting next to her, the latter feeling was bubbling up again. She loved Pumpkin -- that was definitely true, she'd come to realize. Could she really go back to how things were? Pretending she had never said it and that she didn't feel so strongly?

Forcing herself to look back at the brightly-colored awoken beside her, she almost felt sick from the pain in her chest.

She. She couldn't.

Pushing herself up quickly, she laughed -- but it was a sad, almost bitter laugh. Before she said, simply. "Yeah. Me too."

Diah buried her hands in the pockets of the clothes she was wearing, casual attire for what would normally be a casual meet up.

"I don't think this meeting was a good idea." She told Pumpkin, trying not to let her voice shake or break in front of the other woman. An inhale, an exhale, and then a step as she forced herself to leave already, saying one last thing as she did.

"I need some more time."

“Kiss it better?” Diah repeated the words, already laughing as she pulled the ice pack from her bruising face. “Babe, you did this to me.” 

Even despite the words, which could have been jarring if someone else was to hear, she was smiling big and had nothing but humor in her gaze. One well-placed hit at the very end of a crucible match had knocked her over, but Pumpkin hadn’t been able to get a final kill in before the buzzer sounded, ending the match. Now, where her wife had hit her was darkening in a bruise.

💏  A kiss …to wake yours up.

“C’mon, Sugar.” 

All Diah received in response to her words was a small, resistant sound as her wife tried to turn and bury even further into the pillows. The titan laughed gently as she watched it happen, shifting so she could bring herself closer. Pumpkin wasn’t getting away that easily.

“I know I wore you out last night, but you gotta get up.” She teased, her voice growing softer now that her face was closer to the other woman. “We’re supposed to get some breakfast before our match today. Remember?”

This time, she only got a huff in response, but Diah was pretty sure that she was getting there. Shifting her weight onto one elbow, she raised her other hand and used her fingers to push the strands of bright orange hair from her wife’s face, exposing her cheek. Leaning forward, she pressed a very small kiss onto the side of Pumpkin’s face, testing.

It took a second, but her wife reacted, face turning and un-burying from the pillows. Diah kissed her again, on the side of her jaw, and then moved to her lips, a third kiss that lingered and was weakly, tiredly returned. When she pulled away, Pumpkin’s eyes were finally open, lips holding the smallest, tired smile.

“I’m up, I’m up.” Pumpkin murmured, and Diah pulled back to let her stretch, her tiny body seeming to take up the whole bed for those few small seconds before she shrunk back down. “Will you take the dogs out while I get ready?”

NEVER | NOT REALLY | MAYBE | NOT BAD | MMMMM | HELL YES | TAKE ME NOW | THERE GO MY PANTS

Receiving: This one is VERY specifically only with someone she trusts. Diah really pretends she’s a Total Dom but any woman she gets close enough to knows that’s not true. She could enjoy getting choked as long as it was Safe and Consensual and there was no actual fear or threat.