lux

warnings: mha s6 spoilers (hawks’ backstory), not proofread, gn pronouns for an unidentified partner, very mild angst? more like hurt/comfort, anxiety

summary: it doesn’t matter how much he loves them, he prays they won’t call him the name he was stripped of all those years ago. they had a deal, and the deal worked. just stick to that plan, and nothing can go wrong, right?

word count: ~460

a/n: day ??? of thinking about this stupid bird man. he is literally all i can write about lately

songs: young, nocturne no. 2 in Eb major, the swan

Contrary to popular belief, Keigo doesn’t like being called by name by his partner for at least three years or so. Once he decides he trusts them enough to even tell them about everything in his past, he asks that they don’t call him ‘Keigo’. But they’re his partner, so he also doesn’t want them to call him ‘Hawks’, he wants them to call him something special that only they can.

So Keigo asks for a nickname. Something meaningful. And when they come up with one, it makes his heart and wings flutter to hear it. Many times before, he’s tricked himself into thinking it’s actually his name—if it’s something he’d likely hear from passerby on patrol, his head whips to the voice echoing his special name in hopes it’s his own lover’s. He’s indescribably disappointed when it’s not, and pulls out his phone to text them. His wings twitch ever so slightly as he waits for a response and continues patrol, albeit a little antsy.

When the day comes, Keigo’s heart melts with both overwhelming anxiety and immeasurable adoration as his partner sits him down and asks to redefine the name, ‘Keigo’—redefine the man, ‘Keigo’. To show him that ‘Keigo’ can feel like the warmth of love, of acceptance and kindness.

It terrifies keigo. What if they’re just trying to manipulate him? What if he’s going to get hurt again? What if this—you—what if it’s all just a plan by the HPSC to terminate the contract? What if he has to go back to peddling and sleeping on the streets with his mother, the woman that stood to constantly remind him he never should’ve existed in the first place? What if-

A hug. It’s all it takes.

In most intimate, domestic settings, Keigo practically melts into his partner’s touch, but when they wrap their arms around him with a strong, grounding hug that just screams “I’m not going anywhere”, oh god. Everything in him crumbles. The hushed, “It’s okay. I’m here for you, Keigo. Right here. You’re okay,” echoes in his mind, even when the words are no longer spoken.

He sniffles. “Ya know. My family was never really the touchy-feely type. Mom and… Takami.. they…” He trails off. Rarely does he ever finish a sentence involving his father—he speaks on his mother every few months, mostly wondering aloud how she’s doing. Not that she would care how he’s doing, and not that she ever cared about him at all, so really, he shouldn’t bother with such thoughts.

Keigo buries his face into their shoulder and lets his emotions become salty stains on his lover’s shoulder. His wings are drooped, arms loose at his sides as he just lets his beloved hold him, hug him, comfort him. Even the strongest of heroes break down, and Keigo Takami is no exception to that.