砂時計

yuta places his hand over his eyes to look at his surroundings, but all that he sees is white snow. it's a beautiful view, the vast wild. for him, a city boy through and through, the scenery change is a blessing, a way to escape the oppressive and busy tokyo atmosphere. he enjoys the quiet, the silence bringing him peace instead of anxiety and it usually does back home.

as he walks up the hill, sledge behind him, yuta thinks of how life would be in a place like this. every day surrounded by nothing but nature, by the sounds of it. it would be easy for him to retreat into a place like this, live his life away from any human warmth. but that's not why he's here, isn't it? he came seeking the exact opposite of isolation, and for that he will have to work hard.

looking at the woman at his side, he decides that this is a good start. if he feels awkward next to some of the other guests of seolhwa, there is nothing of that when he's around ian. maybe that is why yuta quietly asked her for help when they decided on a sledding contest. (he really shouldn't have signed up, not being a sports person, but what is the point of him being there if not trying out new things?)

as yuta looks at the night sky, he can't help but to feel touched by the beauty of it. in tokyo, all the lights make it hard to see the stars and the sky. once upon a time, when yuta was a teenager, he used to escape to the rooftop of their building at night just to look at the sky in silence. that has always been his problem, one of the woman who worked at the orphanage would tell him, that he wanted a family, but would always spend his time alone. what are you afraid of? she'd ask and yuta wouldn't know what to answer.

he still doesn't.

seolhwa is supposed to be a new start in his desire to find connection, but yuta feels out of place. it's not a new feeling, not really, but he still hoped here would be different. he can feel haneul's presence in everything, and a part of him doesn't know if he should even be here. they'd been friends, but not close ones. they'd had fun, but not made enough memories. and yet, he's here now, he can't run away.

outside, he takes a deep breath, letting the cold air fill his lungs. soon, it will be too cold to be here, so yuta wants to enjoy all his time while he can. it's when he notices yura, still sitting by the fire they had lit a couple of hours earlier.

he should leave her be, but a part of him worries to see her alone in the cold of the night. so, because yuta doesn't know a life that isn't lived to help others, he goes inside and comes back with a blanket that he gently places over her shoulders.