ТЕМНОША

it had been a few weeks since it happened. he knew it had happened but he couldn’t even admit it to himself that he’d been manipulated, tricked. he’d spent so many years with just himself and of course the second he met someone, the second he let someone in, he was betrayed. he’d let the fjerdan, saint djel, in and fell for him, like an idiot. he shouldn’t have gone to begin with, he should never had left that little camp of his, that precious dog he’d found one day and he never managed to shake him off. daisy was all alone. he’d left him behind with the thought that he’d be right back. 

he’d flinched when he heard a man’s voice near him, he was currently trying to tie a rope in order to tie up whatever he’d found of his belongings after the months of him being gone. the only thing left behind of daisy was the collar he’d made for him, but he’d assumed someone had found him and brought him home. he’d hoped. 

“sorry?”

the rope kept falling from his hands, he couldn’t hold them long enough in order to tie them up right. he was a ghost. he wasn’t alive any longer and he was going to have to live. . . die? he didn’t know anymore, time didn’t exist for him anymore but he couldn’t help it. his laugh was suddenly halted, he burned at a stake they’d blessed especially for him. by their saint. by his love. 

❝ Please don’t be in such a hurry to die. ❞

❝ I would rather have my tendons peeled from my body, one by one. ❞

❝ So what I’m hearing is… maybe. ❞

❝ I have never been murdered before, and I truly don’t intend to start now. ❞

❝ The past is dead, but you and I are alive. ❞

❝ Well, I tried, and therefore no one should criticize me. ❞

❝ Did you really think I entertained any delusions that you could be mistaken, in the dark, by a dementia-ridden dog raised with no knowledge of bladed objects, for a swordsman? ❞

❝ Ask me no questions and I shall tell you no lies. ❞

❝ I will not suckle at your boot heel. ❞

❝ You’re trying to start a fight with me to get out of the fight I am trying to have with you. ❞

❝ Should we hold hands, in girlish solidarity? ❞

❝ Your weapon should be stealth; if through unholy means you wake them, there will be no other weapons left. ❞

❝ I am making a joke. I josh. I kid. I do that. ❞

❝ Your job is to stand, to face our foes, and to die when you are empty, but not before. ❞

❝ You need a blade, and someone with the will to wield it. ❞

❝ I can’t kiss you back. My lipstick’s perfect and I refuse to smear it. ❞

❝ I never heard her say an unkind word except when it was very funny. ❞

❝ I will let you know now that the plan for my funeral is in my top drawer, and I’ve got it down to a minute-by-minute framework, and it’s only twenty-four minutes, and it’s just lovely. ❞

❝ Once you turn your back on something, you have no more right to act as though you own it. ❞

❝ You don’t fear dying. You are afraid that your life has incurred a debt that your death will not pay. ❞

❝ You see death as a mistake. ❞

❝ What did you say, to make him try to kill you? ❞

❝ United we stand, divided we fall, or so the saying goes. ❞

❝ God is a dickhead. ❞

❝ I personally loathe tattletales for the purpose of insult, but it seems to be your main weapon in our conversations. ❞

❝ Soup is easy. You cut up an onion, burn it at the bottom of the pot, put in a few vegetables, and then some meat. It won’t taste like anything, so put in a few teaspoons of salt, and then it’ll taste like a few teaspoons of salt. ❞

❝ May all the blood of your blood suffer even a fraction of what I have suffered. ❞

❝ Raise your hands, [Name], or make me strike down an unarmed man/woman. ❞

❝ Me? I’ve never regretted anything, as a rule. ❞

❝ Once I tell you, whatever you do to me, don’t do it below the neck. None of my other shirts are pressed. ❞

❝ Your dress is perfect. You look like a melon. ❞

❝ Let me introduce you to the special world of sisterhood– I will reveal everything you do, contradict what you say at every turn, and hold your hair back in the morning. ❞

❝ That was disgusting, to say the least. Old people should be shot. ❞

❝ You’re even stubborner than I am. I thought I’d cornered the market. ❞

❝ But the problem is that heroes always die. You can’t even really pronounce someone a hero until they die heroically. ❞

❝ Let’s go through all the other, less awkward questions first. How is a baby made? I can do that, easy. I mean, I don’t want to, but I’m ready. I have this little book about babies, bodies, friends, and family. Are you and [Name] being safe? ❞

❝ You are a murderer, a conman/woman, a cheat, a liar, and a slitherer. ❞

❝ I am not a hero, [Name]. I never was. ❞

❝ You have paid the price. The hardest part is over. Smile to the universe, thank it for it’s graciousness, and mount your throne. ❞

❝ I am sick of roses and I am horny for revenge. ❞

❝ I owe you a great debt. You have given me much in return for very little. ❞

❝ You’ve got two short minutes left before I punch you right in the butthole. ❞

❝ It’s a rule: chickenshits don’t get beer. ❞ 

❝ I’m poor with thanks and worse with goodbyes. Therefore i won’t bother with them. ❞ 

❝ Confess, and be the man I want you to be, rather than the man you apparently are. ❞ 

❝ There is no such thing as forgiveness. There’s only bloody truth, and blessed ignorance. ❞